


Fade Into You

by scarlet_star_witch



Category: The Mandalorian (TV)
Genre: Amnesia, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety Attacks, Din Djarin Needs a Hug, Din Djarin is a himbo, Din Djarin is a simp for his wife, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Eventual Smut, F/M, Marriage, Porn with Feelings, Protective Din Djarin, Romance, Smut, Soft Din Djarin, Touch-Starved Din Djarin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-12 08:22:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 17
Words: 97,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29257392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scarlet_star_witch/pseuds/scarlet_star_witch
Summary: Din has spent a year grieving the love of his life. While he thinks he has lost her forever, she lingers in the darkness, her mind twisted and manipulated, with no memory of him or the love they shared. What will it take for Din to help her remember?
Relationships: Din Djarin/Original Female Character(s), Din Djarin/Reader
Comments: 91
Kudos: 163





	1. Chapter 1

_ Sleep was a rarity for the Mandalorian. The moments when he could finally relax and shed his armour was a comfort he didn’t get often, but he cherished it when he did. He groaned in annoyance as he was nudged awake, still feeling as though he could use an extra hour or two of sleep. _

_ A huff of laughter had the frown slipping from his face instantly. He rolled over onto his stomach, his eyes cracking open and the sight in front of him had his bad mood dissipating as if it had never been there in the first place. _

_ “Good morning. Get enough beauty sleep?” _

_ That accented voice had an involuntary smile inching its way onto his usually hardened features. Din rolled his eyes, his hand reaching out to grab hers and he gently pulled her forward. She got the hint and sat on the edge of the bed, her hand moving to run through his messy hair, almost as an instinctive act. _

_ “Could’ve used more.” He said quietly, his voice still raspy with sleep. _

_ “Don’t be ridiculous. You get any more handsome and I won’t be able to fight off all the women in the galaxy.”  _

_ Din rolled his eyes again, a light scoff escaping him. She was the only one who had seen him, the real him, since he was a child. No one else in the galaxy would ever compare.  _

_ His hand began to gently run a path over her thigh that her sleeping shorts barely covered. She became distracted by his touch, her mind forgetting why she had disturbed his sleep in the first place.  _

_ “What time is it?” _

_ “Early. Got a message from Karga, he wants to meet with us. Apparently it’s a big job, he wants as many hunters as he can get.” _

_ “That doesn’t sound good.” Din replied, sitting up in the small bunk. _

_ “No, it doesn’t. But we need the credits. We can’t afford to turn down jobs.” _

_ Din nodded in agreement, his hand never ceasing their motions on her skin, a comfort to them both. She could tell he was more than a little annoyed that they had to get back to work. The three days they’d had off weren’t long enough. They both would’ve loved to have all the time in the galaxy to spend just the two of them. _

_ “Honeymoon had to end sometime, right?” _

_ “No it didn’t.” Din argued plainly, causing her to laugh, a sound that never failed to make his insides flip.  _

_ “It’ll take a few days to get to Nevarro.” She said coyly, her hands moving from his hair and down his bare chest, the implication of her words not lost on him.  _

_ He smiled up at her and reached for her waist, guiding her to straddle his lap. The feeling of her touch on his bare skin was one he never wanted to forget, one he never wanted to go without for the rest of his life. _

_ Having been deprived of touch for most of his life, he knew there was no way he could go back now that he’d gotten a taste of something so good. _

_ Having his wife wrapped in his arms was the epitome of bliss and he was never letting it go. _

_ “I’m sure we can find a way to fill the time.” His voice husked in her ear, causing her to smirk devilishly.  _

_ “Cheeky bastard.” She muttered, leaning down to bring her forehead to rest on his. The act was so different now that he wasn’t wearing his helmet. He much preferred it this way. _

_ Din leaned forward, aching to have her lips on his, to have her as close as possible. She leaned down at the same moment, their lips barely an inch apart. _

A heavy gasp escaped his lips as he jerked awake. He looked around the room, his hand instinctively moving to the blaster at his side. His tense body relaxed when he realized he was alone.

It had only been a dream. That same damn dream that wouldn’t leave his head. He couldn’t ever get her out of his head.

Iella. His Iella. His wife. His everything. 

It had been over a year since he’d lost her. Since those gangsters had gotten their hands on her, since that fiery crash that decimated every part of his heart and soul. 

He ripped the helmet off his head, his chest heaving with each of his strained breaths. He leaned forward, resting his hands on his knees as he began to feel lightheaded at the memory that would play on a loop, as if just to torture him.

He almost couldn’t believe that he’d made it this far, this long, without her. Having been partners for years before ever getting to the point of a life-long commitment, Din was at a loss as to how he was supposed to function without her, the one constant in his life.

_ Don’t think about it. Move on. _

The words he would speak to himself daily were useless. No matter how hard he tried to keep moving, to keep working and bury everything he was feeling deep down, he knew he would eventually crack. It was only a matter of time before the weight of her loss destroyed him completely.

He sighed heavily, self-hatred settling deep within his gut, like it had been since the crash, and he forced himself to put his helmet back on and make his way to the weapon’s locker to finally get going on the job he’d been avoiding.

He walked through the crowded streets of some over-populated, poor planet purposefully. His wide stature and firm gait brought stares of apprehension and people quickly moved out of his way to avoid any potential trouble. The reputation of the Mandalorian was not understated and people knew not to cross him.

Din entered the seedy cantina, avoiding the stares of the many men who shifted in their seats at the sight of him, worried that they were the reason he was there. He avoided the gazes of the aggressive men that would love nothing more than to brawl to prove their status and the scantily clad women who sat upon their laps.

He shouldered his way to the back of the room, not worrying about nudging others out of his way. A woman, who was much too young to be wearing what she was wearing and even be in the dingy cantina, blocked his path, a sultry smile on her lips.

“Hey big boy. You want some company?” She purred, placing her hands on his arms, as if to try and pull him to her side. He knew she wasn’t actually looking for his company, she most likely just wanted his credits.

Din didn’t spare her a second glance as he shrugged off her hands and kept walking. He felt as though his skin was crawling. He felt a wave of guilt hit him, even though he hadn’t done anything. The thought that other people didn’t know that his heart belonged to someone else. The fact that she wasn’t there by his side to let people know he was off limits left him feeling empty.

He almost sighed in relief when he saw the client he was looking for waiting at a table for him. That meant he was one step closer to getting out of this hell hole. 

“You’re late.” The client told him as soon as he had taken his seat across from him.

“You want the job done or not?” Din argued back, his tone impatient.

The client sighed and handed over a tracking fob. “Joran Suul. Worked as a smuggler for the Empire. When everything went to shit, he had no jobs left to do, and wasn't making money anymore. He stole credits from the few Imperial officers that are left. They want his head on a pike. Think you’re up for it?”

Din wasn’t overly fond of working for Imperial douchebags, but credits were credits and he had to make a living somehow. He knew if Iella was around there was no way he would be taking this job. Her moral code had rubbed off on him over the years they’d been together.

“I’ll get it done.” Din stated simply, grabbing the fob and making a quick exit before another word could be said. 

~~~

“This is a bad idea.”

Voros rolled his eyes and turned to face the nervous technician. The young man had been getting on his nerves throughout this whole process.

“She’s been out in the field plenty of times. Your machine worked wonders, she’s ready for this.” Voros assured him, trying not to sound as annoyed as he felt.

“She’s been on missions before, yes, but never for bounties. What if other hunters have a fob? What if the Mandalorian is on the job? What if he’s looking for her, we can’t risk him finding her.”

“The Mandalorian thinks she’s dead, he won’t be looking for her.” Voros spoke through gritted teeth, his fists clenching with the effort it took to not strangle the man in front of him. “If you question me again you won’t live long enough to beg for mercy.” 

With that, Voros walked away from the technician who was left shaking in his boots. His angry expression fell and a smile overtook him as he approached the containment area where his greatest asset was kept. 

Iella Yazir was brought to him half dead, crying out for her Mandalorian husband. It really wasn’t hard at all to subdue her, to get her in chains. The machine that wiped her mind forced her into submission far better than he could have ever imagined. 

She was already a valiant warrior and training her to be a cold blooded killer was no weary feat. With a kill count approaching triple digits, she had earned a name for herself at the hidden Imperial base. People knew not to cross her.

“Hello, my darling.” Voros smiled sweetly as he approached her padded room. 

His assassin got to her feet and approached the window in her room that looked out towards him. Her blank expression only assured him that he had done his job right.

“Voros.” She greeted him stiffly, eyeing him up and down, looking for any weapons on him. He had taught her well.

“I have another job for you.” He started, opening the bounty puck so she could get a look at the wanted man’s face. “He was last seen on Taris. He stole from us, now you know how I feel about taking what belongs to me.” He spoke darkly as he typed on the keypad to open her padlocked door.

Iella stepped out of the cell, keeping her eyes trained on her master as she was taught to do.

“I need him dead and I know there’s no one else here I trust to get the job done but you, my darling.”

The assassin smiled maliciously.The blood on her hands didn’t bother her, at least it didn’t bother the person she was now. 

“I won’t fail you, master.” She said, bowing her head slightly to the man in front of her, whose smile only grew at the sight of her submission.

“Who are you?”

“No one.” She answered monotonously, the question having been asked more times than she could count.

“Who do you belong to?”

“You, Master.”

“And what is your job?”

“To kill.”

Voros smiled and leaned forward, his hand gently caressing her cheek, his smile growing wider when she didn’t flinch like she used to. He used the machine on her enough times to wipe that response from her.

“Good girl.” He whispered. “Remember, leave no survivors.” 


	2. Chapter 2

Din’s movements were slow, still laced with exhaustion, as he put his armour on. He didn’t remember the last time he’d gotten a good night’s sleep. It had to have been the last night he spent wrapped around his wife.

He moved lazily as he walked around the small, makeshift kitchen on the Razor Crest. It wasn’t much, but it worked well enough. He reached up to the top shelf, pulling down the last of his rations, when something fell to the floor.

His heart dropped to his stomach and he felt a lump in his throat as he picked up the netted trinket. It was impossible not to think of her as he held the item in his hand. It was what brought them together, what made them cross that final hurdle after spending so much time dancing around each other.

The memory made his chest tighten painfully.

_ Din wanted to scream as Xi’an tried to link her arm with his, yet again. He’d spent all day trying to shrug off her grip, but she just wasn’t getting the hint. Ran wasn’t making it any easier, every single one of his teasing comments only fueled Xi’an’s flirtation. _

_ He only had eyes for one person. And it certainly wasn’t the Twi’lek that wouldn’t take no for an answer. _

_ Din had managed to break away from Xi’an, much to her annoyance, and he could feel her gaze on his back as he walked away, getting lost in the crowd. His mind was only on one person.  _

_ He hadn’t seen her since they stopped to look around the market, and despite knowing that she could handle herself, he couldn’t help but worry about her being on her own.  _

_ His tense shoulders relaxed when he saw her, her violet hair making her stand out against the throng of people around her. Din immediately felt at ease, he always did in her company and it wasn’t something he was willing to admit until recently. _

_ Her smile was radiant. When he saw it, it was as though everything around her faded and only she was there, taking his breath away. He didn’t know what the hell she was doing with them. Their group was rough and shady and she deserved so much better, he’d certainly told her as much, but she hadn’t budged. She’d told him countless times that she wasn’t leaving him, that they were partners for life. _

_ Din couldn’t explain the butterflies that had erupted in his belly when she had said those words. It had taken everything in him not to rip his helmet off and kiss her then and there.  _

_ He tensed as he watched the sales clerk she was talking to reach out to grab her hand. Within seconds, Din was stomping forward, nudging people out of his way to get to her. His hand grabbed his blaster instinctively as he grabbed the man’s hand and wrenched his grip off of her, pushing him back into the stall. _

_ “Whoa, Mando, relax.” She cried out, grabbing his arm that was seconds away from pointing his weapon at the innocent man. _

_ “He grabbed you.” Din growled, his helmeted stare locked on the man who didn’t need to see the bounty hunter’s eyes to know that he was glaring at him. _

_ “It’s fine. I’m ok.” Iella said softly, gently turning him away from the clerk to face her. Din was still breathing heavily, adrenaline running through his veins, but as his gaze turned down towards Iella, he immediately felt himself beginning to calm. _

_ “I was just trying to help this lovely young lady.” The clerk defended himself, his wide eyes flickering back and forth between the nice woman and the Mandalorian that hadn’t let go of her. _

_ Din tensed again and almost growled at the man’s words. Iella, who knew him better than he thought, tightened her grip on his arm and pulled him closer to her. _

_ “It’s fine, he’s just trying to strike a deal.” She whispered, but Din didn’t remove his gaze from the man. He didn’t trust him, he didn’t trust any man around Iella. She was too good for any of them, him included. “Mando, he’s harmless.” She said, finally making his gaze turn towards her. _

_ Din eyed her up and down, as if to confirm that the man hadn’t done anything out of line. Iella, who had been travelling with him long enough to read what the motions of his helmet meant, rolled her eyes. _

_ “Mando, I’m fine, relax.” She assured him, trying hard not to blush at his protectiveness. “What are you doing here anyways? I thought you were with Xi’an.” _

_ Din rolled his eyes, unable to hold back a groan of annoyance, which made Iellla laugh. She knew how much the Twi’lek annoyed her partner and his reaction was enough to stifle her jealousy. She didn’t want to admit that seeing Xi’an hanging off his arm always made her chest tighten uncomfortably. _

_ She was just glad Din seemed as irritated by her as she was. _

_ “What’s that for?” Din asked, happily changing the subject as he looked down at what the clerk was trying so hard to sell to her. _

_ “It’s a dreamcatcher. Apparently it traps your bad dreams so you never have them again and you can sleep peacefully.” She explained with a wistful smile. Din, on the other hand, felt concern wash over him and he grabbed her hand in his, the gesture enough to have her cheeks blazing red again. _

_ “You’ve been having bad dreams? Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked in a low voice, unable to hide his concern. _

_ Iella blushed fiercely and looked down, avoiding his gaze, which only put Din more on edge.  _

_ “El.” He urged, his nickname for her making her heart jump in a way she was too shy to even wrap her head around. _

_ “I- uhm-” She started, but stopped, biting her lip nervously. His hand that squeezed hers wasn’t helping her nerves in the slightest. She wanted to roll her eyes at how oblivious he was. Could he really not see her blushing everytime he was close to her? She didn’t understand how he didn’t know how she felt about him, even after all the time they had spent working together. “I was getting it for you.” She said quietly, worried that she had scared him off. _

_ Despite the helmet that covered his face, Iella knew that he was surprised by the way he flinched and his grip on her hand loosened.  _

_ “I’ve heard you at night. I know that things haven’t been easy and I just… I dunno, I wanted to help.” She explained rapidly, her nerves overtaking her.  _

_ Din didn’t know what to feel. On the one hand, he felt embarrassed that she knew about his nightmares. He felt ashamed that he’d let her see him so weak. But on the other hand, he couldn’t help but feel so overwhelmed by the gesture, that she just wanted to help him. _

_ “Hey, lovebirds! We gotta get goin’!” Ran yelled, stopping their conversation in its tracks before he could answer.  _

_ Iella hung her head low, feeling embarrassed by his lack of response. She was more worried that she’d offended him, or scared him away.  _

_ The pair didn’t speak as they walked back towards the ship. Iella almost couldn’t hold back a roll of the eyes as Xi’an wrapped her arm through Din’s, talking animatedly, the moment they climbed aboard. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the cargo hold as the ship took off. _

_ If she’d ruined her friendship with the Mandalorian and he wanted to spend his time with the annoying Twi’lek than with her, that was fine. She wasn’t going to fight it, but she couldn’t deny that her stomach twisted uncomfortably at the thought of having to watch Din and Xi’an flirt in front of her. Din had never flirted back, he barely even spoke to her, but she worried that it was only a matter of time. _

_ She drowned out Xi’an’s voice as her mind wandered. She was happy for the distraction, hearing the Twi’lek’s voice day after day had been grating on her.  _

_ “I’m gonna head to bed.” She spoke abruptly, interrupting Xi’an. She ignored the woman’s glare and stood, walking towards the bunks without another look at them. She didn’t notice Mando’s gaze locked onto hers as she left, and she certainly didn’t notice the way he ignored Xi’an’s rude comments and whining for him to sit back down with her as he stood to follow her. _

_ Once the door was shut behind her, she ran a hand through her hair, letting out a loud sigh of annoyance. She felt so mad at herself, she couldn’t believe that she let herself cross that line she said she would never cross. She didn’t want to believe that her friendship with the Mandalorian was over, that she’d offended him beyond repair. _

_ As she wallowed in self pity, pacing across her small room, a soft knock sounded, breaking her from her thoughts. _

_ The last thing she ever expected to see when she opened the door was the Mandalorian staring back at her. _

_ “Hi.” _

_ “Can I come in?” He asked quietly. Iella nodded, moving to the side to let him enter the cramped room. _

_ “I’m sorry about today.” She said quickly before he had a chance to open his mouth. _

_ Din stayed quiet, his helmeted gaze meeting hers, which had her even more on edge. Not being able to see his face made reading his emotions almost impossible and it had her fears plateauing.  _

_ “I didn’t mean to overstep or make you uncomfortable, I just wanted to help.” She spoke quickly, her anxiety making her unable to pause between words. “You’re my friend and I care about you. I don’t want you to have nightmares and I just thought that-” _

_ “Close your eyes.” _

_ “What?” She asked slowly, her voice laced in confusion. _

_ “Do you trust me?” _

_ “Yes.” She answered without hesitation.  _

_ “And you know I would never do anything to hurt you.” _

_ “Of course I know that. What the hell is going on?” She answered frantically, her nerves pushing her to the edge. _

_ “Close your eyes, please.” Din repeated, almost pleadingly. His heart began to race within his chest at what he was about to do. He breathed deeply, slowly moving to take off his helmet once he made sure that her eyes were closed. _

_ He was terrified, but he couldn’t wait any longer.  _

_ He stepped closer to her and Iella tensed as she felt a hand at her waist. He leaned his forehead against her and she almost gasped at the feel of his skin on hers. Her stomach flipped at the realization that he had taken off his helmet.  _

_ Their hearts raced in unison at finally being so close to each other. _

_ “Why-” _

_ Din cut her off as he placed his lips to hers, causing her to freeze in shock. His hands gripped her waist tightly, as if he never wanted to let go. Iella, despite the complete surprise of his actions, melted into his embrace and wrapped her arms around his neck, deepening the kiss as her hands involuntarily moved to tangle into his hair. _

_ The small move caused Din to whimper against her lips, the feeling so foreign to him, it almost left him on his knees.  _

_ Din couldn’t believe that what he was feeling was actually happening. It had been such a long time coming, it almost didn’t seem real. He had been deprived of touch for so long and he had been aching for it since he’d met the woman. Now that he had her in his arms, his lips moving with hers, he realized his fantasy was nothing compared to the real thing. If he had known this is what it would feel like, he would have done it years ago. _

_ He pulled away slowly, not wanting to part from her soft lips, but the need to breathe became too great. Iella kept her eyes closed, knowing the grave consequences if she didn’t.  _

_ “Mando-” _

_ “It’s Din. My name is Din.” He said quietly, his heart racing in his chest. _

_ “Din.” She whispered back, a smile growing at the knowledge that he trusted her enough with something so personal. _

_ Din almost moaned at the sound of his name falling from her lips.  _

_ “Gods, I could listen to that all day.” He breathed out, crashing his lips to hers again before she could say anything else. Din knew he was never going to want to let go of the woman in his arms. _

_ ~~ _

Din stared down at the dreamcatcher in his hands, feeling his eyes beginning to sting with emotions he’d repressed for so long. 

When he’d lost her he’d taken out all the trinkets and gifts he’d given her from the room they shared. He didn’t have it in him to throw anything away so he’d kept it all hidden, pretending it didn’t exist and pretending the memories they evoked within him didn’t absolutely crush him.

He stared at the gift in his hand for a few more seconds, allowing him the small moment of remembrance before putting it back in the overhead compartment and slamming it closed.

He needed to get on with his work. He’d been slacking in jobs lately and he couldn’t keep going the way he was or he’d starve to death before the Guild could come after him. Once he was finished with his armour, he stepped off the Razor Crest, the blinking tracking fob in hand.

He knew he was close to the target and he was itching to get the man on board and in carbonite so he could go back to wallowing. In a way, he hated that these jobs distracted him from his grief. It wasn’t as if he wanted to grieve his wife, but the thought of her was better than nothing at all.

The memories, no matter how much they hurt, were all he had left of her.

Din pushed down the emotions, something he was getting quite good at, and his calculated movements had him closer to the target than he thought he’d be. It was almost surprising how well he could do his jobs with how scattered his mind always was. 

His hand instinctively moved to pull his blaster from its holster on his hip once he realized he was in a secluded part of the planet, far from the bustle of the town center. It was more risky to be out in the open in such a quiet and desolate part of the planet. 

There was no movement at all and it had him on edge. 

The tracking fob in his hand began to blink faster and he knew he was close. It had to be one of the few shacks that lie amongst the rocky shores of the poor planet.

He moved stealthily, his training keeping his footsteps light. The light suddenly started to blink rapidly as he approached a rotted door that looked like it had already been kicked in. He pushed it open slowly, ducking in with his weapon raised for any potential threats.

When he saw none, he lowered his blaster. He looked around the room, his hackles rising at the sight in front of him. There was no bounty in the room, but there had definitely been at one point. Everything was in disarray, signalling a struggle. The furniture was on it’s side and little drops of blood littered the floor.

A loud cry of pain caught his attention and he tensed immediately. 

Whoever was after the same bounty was here and they weren’t looking to bring him in alive, or with mercy. Din felt annoyance creep over him. He didn’t want to have to deal with another bounty hunter. He needed the credits and fighting off yet another person for them wasn’t ideal.

His grip on his blaster tightened and he followed the noise out to the back door, walking with determination.

“Please don’t hurt me. I have a family. I have a son, I can’t leave him.” A broken voice pleaded, their words stifled through their sobs of agony.

“Is that supposed to make me care?” 

Din stopped in his tracks, feeling as though he walked straight into a brick wall. 

That voice.

He knew that voice.

His eyes began to water and a lump grew in his throat. He felt his hands beginning to shake and he clenched his fists tightly.  _ It couldn’t be. It’s not possible. _

He moved unsteadily, worried that he’d collapse at any moment, but he had to know, he had to see for himself. He stepped outside just in time to see a deadly looking blade slash the bounty’s neck, a helpless choking sound replacing his desperate cries.

The man fell to the ground, unmoving, leaving a lone figure standing over his body. Din’s lips parted in surprise at the gruesome scene. It wasn’t out of the ordinary for him to see something so bloody and deadly, but it was  _ who _ had been so deadly that left him stunned.

That violet hair was unmistakable.

Din stood frozen in his spot, his mouth gaping beneath his helmet, unable to formulate any words. He could feel his entire body shaking, his heart racing as he desperately tried to search for an answer.

_ It can’t be her. She’s gone. _

The woman in front of him tensed, clearly sensing his presence behind her. She turned slowly and the moment he saw those eyes, he knew there was no mistaking it. 

Iella. His wife. She was here. Alive and breathing.

His blaster slipped out of his grip, landing at his feet, forgotten. He let out a shaking gasp and his legs finally gave out. His knees landed in the sand and his hands caught themselves on his thighs, trying to steady himself as he breathed heavily, almost panicked. 

He squeezed his eyes shut, his pessimistic mind telling him he was seeing things. He knew it was only a matter of time before he descended into madness, but this felt too real. He opened them, only to find the same sight in front of him.

She was really here. 

“El,” He breathed out, tears now falling steadily down his cheeks. “How is this- what - I can’t believe it.” He stammered in shock.

It didn’t seem real. He had mourned her for a year, had come to accept that he was destined to be alone for the rest of his life, but now, seeing her face staring back at him, he felt for the first time in a year, a glimmer of hope, of happiness.

His gaze roamed her figure, checking to see that she was alright, something that had become a habit of his over their many years together. He felt confusion seeping through him at seeing the black cat suit she wore that hugged every curve of her body. That wasn’t like her at all. His shy girl would never show off her body in that way. 

The smile that had grown, almost on instinct, upon seeing her fell slightly when he noticed the cold look in her eye. He had never seen that expression on her face before. He had never seen her like this, so distant, so apathetic. 

Something was wrong.

He looked up at her in wonder as she stepped closer to him. He reached out to grab her hand.

“El-”

His words cut off and he let out a grunt of pain as she swiftly pulled a blaster out of her waistband and stunned him in the chest. His body shook with the electric pulse and he fell on his back. 

His vision began to swim with black spots and his breathing weakened. He tried to call out to her, but an anguished moan escaped him instead. He felt panic rising within him, but his body was unable to move to reach out to her.

The last thing he saw was her eyes staring back at him, those eyes that he had longed to see again, those eyes that haunted his dreams each night. Those eyes that never failed to make his heart race. But the loving gaze he had become so familiar with was nowhere to be found.


	3. Chapter 3

Iella was tense, her limbs stiff as stone, as she sat in the lone chair in the room. Her eyes followed the pacing figure of her Master, Voros, as he sent scathing looks to her every few seconds. 

“I’m disappointed in you, my darling.”

Iella frowned, not understanding where his anger was coming from. “I did what you asked. Joran is dead. You got your money back.”

“What is it that I ask of you?” 

“To kill.” 

“And?”

Iella paused, her breathing becoming heavier as her palms began to sweat with the nerves that overtook her. It wasn’t often that she felt nervous around her master, but when she was, she knew it wasn’t good.

Voros sighed in annoyance and knelt in front of her, his hands taking hers, his grip uncomfortably tight. 

“I told you to leave no survivors.”

Her breath caught in her throat as realization dawned on her. The Mandalorian. She didn’t know why the thought of him had her stomach dropping, she didn’t know why she felt sick to her stomach at the thought of him. It didn’t make sense to her.

“Why didn’t you kill the Mandalorian?”

Iella opened her mouth but it quickly closed when she realized she didn’t have an answer. Her instinct wasn’t to kill the man and she didn’t know why. Everyone else she had encountered on jobs were six feet under, but for reasons she couldn’t explain, that man stood standing.

“I didn’t think about it.”

“And why not? Is that not what you were trained to do?” Voros replied, his tone rising as he began to show his true anger. 

He liked to pretend he was a just man, a gentle man that only showed her kindness, but she knew better than to believe it. 

“You failed me, my darling.”

Iella felt her heart beginning to race at his words and the thinly veiled threat that lay beneath them. 

“I finished the job. Joran is dead and the next target will be too. I promise you I won’t make this mistake again.” She pleaded, her voice rising to octave that was unfamiliar to her own ears. This didn’t sound like her, this begging wasn’t her. 

The feeling that she didn’t even recognize herself was unsettling, but she brushed it aside.

“I know you won’t. I’ll make sure of it.” He smiled sweetly at her, one that was entirely fake, before he got to his feet and motioned to someone standing behind her.

Her heart dropped as a clunky machine was wheeled in front of her. 

“No, no, please. It won’t happen again, I swear. You don’t need to do this.” She pleaded, squirming and dragging her feet as the faceless guards hauled her to her feet and practically carried her to the machine.

She knew nothing good came from it. She didn’t know what it did, all she remembered about it was waking up, feeling groggy, with the biggest splitting headache she’d ever experienced. She would have thought she were dying from the pain of it if it wasn’t for the huge smile she’d seen on Voros’ face as she opened her eyes.

The machine would cause her pain. That was all she could remember.

_ Why can’t I remember anything else about it?,  _ she asked herself, but before she could really think about why she couldn’t force herself to remember, she was strapped down into the chair, and she squeezed her eyes shut, her chest heaving with panicked breaths.

“It’s ok, darling. You’ll feel better tomorrow.” Voros told her, feigning sweetness as he brushed a strand of hair from her face, a touch that felt so wrong it left chills down her spine.

She grit her teeth as she heard the whir of the mechanics and she braced herself for what came next.

_ Why is this happening? _

Her question went unanswered as her screams of agony drowned out every other thought until there was nothing left but the scrambled and hazy mind of a broken woman.

~~~

Din Djarin was trying his hardest not to let his emotions get the best of him. It wasn’t part of Mandalorian culture to express emotions so freely and it wasn’t something he wanted to start practicing. 

He stomped through the crowded streets of Nevarro, not caring about the insults and curses that were hurled at him as he pushed people out of his way in his haste. 

Over the few days it had taken him to get to Nevarro, he’d had trouble believing that it was real. That he wasn’t just experiencing a fever dream, or that he’d finally cracked from emotional turmoil. 

Anything seemed more plausible than what he’d really seen. 

His wife couldn’t have been the one to kill that man so callously. She couldn’t have been the one to stun him, to watch carelessly as he fell to the ground, writhing in pain. 

It couldn’t be her. He refused to believe he lived in a time where Iella, his sweet Iella, was capable of that. 

The fact that she was even alive at all left him reeling. It left him feeling sick. He’d been wallowing for a year while she was out there, god knows where with god knows who. 

Something was wrong. The whole situation was backwards and it hadn’t left any good explanations left to explain it. 

It scared him to think about where she’d been, what had been happening to her. He felt another wave of nausea hit him and his pace slowed. He realized how careless he’d been. He hadn’t eaten, hadn’t slept since he’d woken on that planet, all alone, the dead bounty nowhere to be found. 

His wife nowhere to be found. 

If it wasn’t for the tremors that still made his body twitch from the stun he received, he would have believed it didn’t happen at all. 

But it did. He knew it did. He knew he’d seen her.

Din stormed into the cantina and his eyes immediately locked onto the man he was looking for. Greef Karga wasn’t exactly a discreet man and the way he was splayed out on the booth made it easy to spot him.

Ignoring the bartender that called out for his order, Din marched his way through the crowd, shoving unknowing patrons out of his way. 

“Mando! Good to see you old friend.” Karga smiled at him, unable to sense the anger and desperation radiating off of the fierce bounty hunter. The helmet covering his head shielded the despair on his face as if it wasn’t there at all.

Din didn’t say a word and it wasn’t until he was only a foot away from Karga that the man realized something was wrong. He sat up straighter in the booth, but he barely had time to put his feet on the ground before the bounty hunter took a hold of the front of his shirt in his fists and he was hauled out of the booth.

“Whoa, whoa, take it easy Mando!” Karga yelled, his voice strained as he was dragged out of his seat. 

Din shoved the sputtering man against the wall behind him, his helmet inches from his face menacingly.

“Did you know?” 

“Why don’t we just take a seat. We’ll get you a stiff drink and you can relax, ok?” He tried to reason, but the bounty hunter’s grip failed to loosen. 

“Did you know?” Din repeated slowly, his voice low and deadly.

“Know what?” Karga asked impatiently, trying to wring the Mandalorian’s hands off him. 

“About my wife. Did you know?” He spat through gritted teeth. He wanted nothing more than to pull out his blaster and get it over with, but with the many other bounty hunter’s in the cantina that were watching the scene with their hands hovered over their own weapons, he wasn’t about to start a shootout, not until he got some much needed answers.

“What?” Karga almost yelled. He wondered when this day would happen, when the grieving man would finally lose his mind. “Mando, you know what happened to her. I’m sorry for your loss, I am. She was a good kid, a good fighter. She deserved a lot better.” He responded, his voice quieter, calmer, as he thought about the woman he’d worked with for years.

He didn’t pride himself on being a good friend - he knew what he was - but he had to admit, he’d felt deeply shaken by the news of her death. 

“She’s alive.” 

Greef sighed deeply, reaching out to place a hand on the Mandalorian’s shoulder, an act of comfort he believed, but the hunter quickly shook him off and pressed him harder against the stone wall behind him, making him wince.

“Mando, I know you miss her. But you have to face reality. She’s gone.”

The genuine confusion in Greef’s voice had Din releasing his grip on the man. He didn’t know anything, that was clear. Greef mistook Din’s release as acceptance, realization of his emotional tyrad and he sighed in relief, readjusting the shirt he wore.

“Why don’t you sit. I have a job, it’ll be good for you to focus on something, get your mind off everything.”

Din hesitated, his body tense as if he were still ready to strike at any moment, before he finally relented and sat in the booth across from the man who was looking at him wearily. 

“Look, I know things have been tough since you lost her. I get it, but you can’t let yourself slip. You have a job to do and you can’t let your grief get in your way. The Guild is understanding, but not  _ that _ understanding.” Karga explained, still believing that the Mandalorian was spiralling. 

“I saw her. She was working a job. Joran Suul, that ex-Imperial that bailed and stole money. She was there, she killed him.” 

Karga’s face twisted in confusion as he stared back at the helmet that gave nothing away. He didn’t understand what the man was saying. This was more than just a grief-induced hallucination. 

“Are you sure it was her?”

“I know what my wife looks like.” Din snapped at him, his hands clenching into fists as he forced himself to calm down before he slammed the agent into the wall again.

“How is that possible?”

“I was hoping  _ you _ would have that answer.” 

“Mando, I swear, I know nothing about this. I haven’t heard anything either. As far as I knew Iella was long gone.” 

Din flinched at his words and Karga sighed, his head bowing when he realized how wrong his sentence was. 

“Do you know anyone that might know something?” Din asked, feeling more impatient by the second. He didn’t want to spend any more time with the man who was clearly no help.

“No. There’s not many witnesses left from that day and those that did work with you then have no alliance to you, not after what you did to Remy.” 

Din clenched his jaw, a white hot wave of anger overtaking him. He didn’t know why the man still caused him to have this reaction, especially since he was the one to end his life. It wasn’t something he regretted either. 

He was the reason for the crash. Iella had been ripped away from him and the gang’s ship had just begun to take off when the hot headed hunter, Remy, started firing at the ship. Din had yelled at him to stop, to wait until they tracked them down and they had landed safely.

But Remy had been adamant about not letting the gang keep the weapons they stole and he kept shooting, ignoring Din’s yells until they had turned to screams of anguish as the ship fell out of the sky in a ball of fire. 

A handful of other bounty hunters had to hold Din back from killing him then and there, but no one was there to stop him just a month later when he ran into Remy on another job. Din’s instinct was to kill him as soon as he’d seen him, but he had heard Iella’s voice in his head, telling him not to let vengeance blacken his heart.

And he’d listened, until he saw Remy shooting at a group of Stormtroopers, not caring that an entire family was in his way. Din didn’t think twice before taking out the careless hunter. 

He told himself it was to protect that innocent family, but he knew deep down it was revenge for what he’d taken from him. 

He didn’t regret it. He would’ve done it a thousand times over, regardless of the reputation it had gained him. 

Now knowing that his wife was alive didn’t change anything either, it didn’t suddenly cause him to feel guilt about it because his wife was clearly not ok.

“I didn’t do anything to Remy that another hunter wouldn’t eventually do themselves. I just beat everyone to it.” Din argued and Greef shrugged in response. He couldn’t exactly dispute that.

“Just… let me ask you again. You’re sure it was her?” 

Din held back a sigh and tried his hardest not to lash out again.

“It was her.”

Karga hesitated before nodding, though he still looked slightly apprehensive. “Well, if you ever need any help, you know where to find me.”

Din nodded and moved to leave, but Karga stopped him.

“Whoa, was it something I said? Where the hell do you think you’re going?”

“I’m going to find my wife.”

“No, I have a job for you. The Guild can’t keep looking the other way when you start slacking. You’re a bounty hunter, you need to start acting like it.”

“Well, I’m sorry to disappoint, but I have something a lot more important to do.” Din spat at him harshly. 

Karga scoffed and shook his head. “And what are you gonna do when you run out of fuel, or you’ve starved to death before you could find her? You need this job, Mando.” 

Din contemplated his options. Either he could shoot Karga and continue with his plan to scour the entire galaxy until he found his wife, or he could use Karga and his plentiful resources. 

_ I don’t have time,  _ he thought to himself. He didn’t want to wait, he didn’t want to waste time with meaningless jobs, but he knew he needed to be smart. He couldn’t allow himself to be careless, not when it came to Iella.

He needed all the help he could get and complying with Karga was how he made that happen. 

“Fine. Give me the puck.” 

“There’s no puck. It’s face to face, direct commission.” 

That had Din straightening in his seat. This was serious. That meant it would pay, more than any other meaningless job. This was a fast track to fuel, lots of it, which meant time to spend travelling and finding any trace of the love of his life that he could.

“I’ll do it.”

~~~

A soft groan left her as the lights of her room turned on. Her headache was finally fading but the harsh fluorescent lights didn’t help. 

She eyed the man that walked in, a faint feeling of familiarity telling her he wasn’t a target to be taken out. This was her master. She remembered those words being told to her through her foggy memories that were dominated by the pain she’d been feeling as soon as her eyes had opened. 

“Master.” She greeted him, getting to her feet, although she wasn’t as quick as she should have been given the trauma her body had just been put through.

Voros smiled at her greeting. The feeling of triumph washed over him every time she said that word. It meant all that time brainwashing her had paid off. 

“I have another mission for you, darling. It’s important, more important than anything else you’ve done.”

She nodded, though she had trouble remembering the other jobs she’d done. The images that flashed through her brain at the mention of them were hazy, like she was watching them on a screen rather than actually living them. 

“The target is force sensitive, do you know what that means?”

“Yes.”

“Good. I need you to bring the child in alive.”

She paused, an itch at the back of her mind stopping her train of thought and reflexive acceptance. 

“It’s a child?”

Voros tilted his head, looking at her curiously. The smile was now gone and he looked at her sternly. “Does that bother you?”

“No.” She replied, ignoring the voice within her that screamed ‘yes’. 

“Who are you?”

“No one.”

“Who do you belong to?”

“You, Master.”

“What is your job?”

“To kill.”

Voros smiled and stepped closer to her, reaching out to brush a strand of hair from her face. She flinched away from him and his face darkened. 

“Remember, darling, leave no witnesses.” He whispered harshly. 

  
  



	4. Chapter 4

Iella ignored the deafening sounds of screams of terror and pain as she walked casually through the transport station. She watched as her partners slaughtered the people that wouldn’t give them answers with barely a second glance.

They needed information and she knew what needed to be done with people that weren’t willing to give it.

She eyed the man she’d stabbed earlier as he crawled away, desperate to get to safety and she fought the urge to roll her eyes. She walked towards him, kicking away the knife he’d been reaching for. 

She kicked his side, making him roll over with a groan of pain. 

“This could’ve been so much easier. All you had to do was talk.” She taunted him, watching passively as he gasped in fear, his face scrunched in pain from the injury in his side she’d given him.

“Where’s the child?” She asked again, her voice stern, hoping it let him know she was not in the mood for any kind of banter. She just wanted answers.

“I’m not telling you anything.” The man cried out, his voice laced with pain.

“Is that so?” She questioned teasingly. She wanted to laugh at the way he tried to mask his pain and make it seem as though she didn’t have the upper hand. 

By now, her partners had finished taking care of the rest of the workers at the transport station and had joined her at her side, their blasters pointing at the man on the ground in front of her. She raised her hands, silently telling them to stand down, that she would handle the man herself.

“You live your life for evil lords, for no purpose but violence.” The man sputtered, looking at her with disgust. “You deserve no answers.”

Iella sighed heavily, annoyed by his virtue he was holding to so strongly and stomped forward, her foot landing on his neck heavily, leaving him gasping for air.

“Where is the child?” She asked sternly. 

“I’m not telling you anything.” The man gasped brokenly, his face turning red with the lack of air.

“Tell me or I’ll go to your house and bring your pregnant wife here to watch you bleed to death.” She threatened through gritted teeth.

The man’s eyes widened and he looked at her in disbelief, like he couldn’t imagine that anyone in the galaxy could be so cold hearted.

“Please…” He choked out, but she just rolled her eyes and pressed her heel harder onto his neck, making him writhe underneath her.

“Tell me.” She spat harshly, losing her patience with the man.

“A-arv-” The man started, but was unable to speak due to her tight grip on his neck. She lifted her foot, easing her grip off his throat when she realized he was finally beginning to cooperate. “Arvala-7. That’s the last I heard about the child, I swear.” He answered breathlessly.

Iella removed her foot from his neck, looking to her two partners who nodded, satisfied with the information, and began to make their way back to the ship. Iella turned her attention back to the man in front of her who was gasping for her, his hands rubbing at his sore neck.

“Thank you.” She said plainly and before he could utter another word she pulled the blaster from her waistband and shot the man between the eyes. 

Without sparing another glance at him or the other bodies that littered the port, she was turning on her heel and walking back to the ship, her hips swaying with a confidence that didn’t feel natural to her. 

But she didn’t question it. All she knew to do was to move forward. 

~~~

It was two days later that Iella and her team arrived on Arvala-7. They’d heard whispers of a station that housed some powerful being. It was all they had to go off of so it was their best hope. 

Her partners, that she didn’t know the name of, walked behind her, flanking her on each side, as she led the way to the station. 

“Keep your eyes up, we don’t need a repeat of Naboo.” She told them harshly, remembering a time when they’d been reckless and almost let a bounty escape due to their negligence.

She kept her eyes forward as they walked, unable to notice the way the two men shared looks with each other, both on edge that she’d remembered the incident in Naboo, given that that had happened months ago and she’d only had her mind wiped days ago.

That wasn’t a good sign.

One of them put his hand over his blaster, ready to take her out, but the other one shook his head. They needed her. It was only one incident. They would report it to Voros when they got back and they’d wipe her mind again. They needed to finish the job first.

They arrived at the station in no time, but the sight of bodies that lay sprawled over the courtyard had Iella gritting her teeth in frustration, muttering a curse under her breath. 

“Take a look around, question any survivors, but make sure you silence them before you leave.” She ordered, already moving away from them, when they stopped her.

“Where will you go?”

“I’ll check inside.” She answered, trying not to feel off put at the fact that they were questioning her, but something in the back of her mind had itched at her, telling her that was unusual.

She moved inside, her eyes surveying every inch of the place before looking down at the IG unit that lay on the floor, the hole in it’s head still smoking from the blaster that had taken it out. 

She cursed under her breath and stormed out of the room. They were too late. 

She ran back outside, watching as her partners scanned over every body that littered the yard, but there were no survivors. Whoever had come for the child had been thorough.

“We need to move. Quick.” She called out to her partners.

“The blood is still wet, they can’t be far.”

“We’ll catch them.”

Iella nodded at the two men and motioned with her head for them to follow her as she walked away from the compound. The partners shared a look. They didn’t know how stable she was. They’d heard about her sparing the Mandalorian on her last mission. 

No matter how much Voros wanted to praise his experiment for working, they knew better. They saw the cracks in her. 

They both kept their hands over their blasters as they walked, not in case of impending enemies, but in case the woman in front of them finally came to her senses and realized who she was.

~~~

Kuiil kept a watchful eye on the Mandalorian as he fiddled with his chest plate that was broken beyond repair from his fight with the mudhorn. 

There was something about his movements that caught him off guard. Mandalorians were known for their meticulous work, for being careful and never making mistakes, but with how hasty and on edge the man in front of him acted, he knew something was amiss.

“There’ll be better weather tomorrow, we can start on the repairs then.” He spoke up after a long bout of silence.

The mandalorian turned to look at his ruined ship and sighed in annoyance. They’d been able to get all the parts back from the Jawas, but it had taken time. He’d wasted a full day on the planet and that meant a day wasted not looking for his wife.

“Have I really been such an awful host, you’re counting down the minutes until you leave?” Kuiil asked, looking at the man in front of him curiously. 

Din looked up in surprise, staring back at the ugnaught in silence. He sighed heavily again and moved his attention back to working on his chest plate, despite it being a lost cause, at least it gave him something to do, a way to get his mind off of everything.

“The kid seems to be in good spirits. He won’t be too much of a handful.” Kuiil said, venturing a guess as to what had the mandalorian so on edge.

Din looked down at the child who was still in his pod, fast asleep. After what the child had done to save him from the mudhorn Din had been cautious. He couldn’t deny that he’d been amazed by what he’d seen but he wasn’t about to admit that he was concerned.

“I need to get this job done.” Was all Din said to Kuiil to explain his behaviour. 

“Your guild has a time restriction?”

Din paused, contemplating how much to share with the ugnaught. He didn’t want to be callous towards the man that had been nothing but help to him the last few days, but he also didn’t want to explain his story.

He honestly didn’t know if he’d be able to get through it.

“I’m looking for someone. They’re waiting for me and the sooner I get this job done, the sooner I can find them.”

“Who is it?”

Beneath the helmet, Din’s face twisted in agony, his teeth grit together tightly and his eyes stung with tears as Iella’s smiling face flashed through his mind. A reminder of what he lost, what _she_ had lost too apparently. She wasn’t the same as before and it terrified him.

“My wife.” He said quietly, his voice barely a whisper, as if he worried his voice would break with every emotion he felt if he had spoken any louder.

Kuiil stiffened, his eyes widening at his answer. That was the last thing he expected to hear. He suddenly placed the bowl down at his feet, ignoring his dinner, and reached for his tools that sat by his side.

Din looked at him curiously, his brows furrowed in confusion.

“Well, come on then. You have a lady waiting for you. We can’t let a little rain stop us.” He stated simply, getting to his feet and beginning to walk to the ruined ship.

“But-”

“I have spoken.” Was all Kuiil said, stopping Din from arguing or questioning his actions. 

Din’s shoulders slumped and he let out a light laugh, truly surprised by the ugnaught. He was quick to follow, his hands reaching for the scraps they’d gotten back from the Jawas.

He wouldn’t let this set back stop him. He couldn’t let it.

He would find her. 

~~~

It had taken a monumental amount of work and effort, but the Razor Crest was finally put back together. 

Din was exhausted, but so grateful. The adrenaline he felt at the knowledge that he was one step closer to finding the love of his life gave him enough energy to remain standing, even after days of back-breaking, continuous work.

He spared a look at the child who had yet to wake and made his way over to Kuiil. He hesitated, feeling uncomfortable with how much he owed to the man in front of him.

“I don’t know how to thank you for everything.”

“There’s no need.” Kuiil said, waving his hand to him dismissively.

“You know, I could use a crew member of your ability. I can pay handsomely.”

Kuiil smiled sadly. “I am honoured, but I have worked a lifetime to finally be free of servitude.” He explained and Din nodded slowly.

“I understand.”

“I hope you find your wife. She’s lucky to have a man of honour so dedicated to her.” 

Din stiffened, unable to respond. He didn’t feel like she was lucky. He’d failed her. He couldn’t protect her.

Noticing the man’s discomfort at his words, Kuiil began to walk towards the ship, eyeing the exterior to make sure everything was in place.

“I’d say you’re ready for take off.”

“Again, I can’t thank you eno-” Din’s words stopped abruptly, his body tensing and his hand moved to hover over his blaster.

Kuiil looked at him in confusion.

“Is everything alri-”

“Shh.” Din ordered, his body stiff as stone. He knew he wasn’t exactly of sound mind, not when he was constantly distracted by the thought of his wife, but he still knew how to do his job. Those instincts never left him and he knew he had heard the footsteps of someone nearby, someone trying to get the jump on him.

He pulled his rifle off his back and handed Kuiil the blaster from the holster at his hip.

“Take this.” He whispered and Kuiil sputtered his refusal, but Din was already making his way to the end of the ship, his rifle raised.

Suddenly, thundering footsteps came from behind him and he turned on his heel, quick enough to see a hulking man sprinting towards him, a deadly looking blade in his hands that were raised over his head, ready to take him out.

Din got to his knees, rolling out the way and kicking the man in the back of his legs. He was about to point his rifle and end the man when a heavy blow to his helmet from behind had him falling to the ground. 

He groaned and brought himself back to his feet, using his rifle to block both of their swipes of their blades. 

He could faintly hear blaster shots which came from Kuiil who was too stunned to move from his spot. 

He kicked at one man’s legs, causing him to fall. Swiftly, punching the second man in the jaw to subdue him, he turned on his heel and pointed his rifle at the man on the ground, not hesitating to pull the trigger and the next second the man was nothing but dust.

Suddenly a flash of violet swam before his eyes and before he knew it he was on his back, staring up at the blue sky. 

“Get the child.” An accented voice spoke and his heart jumped to his throat.

He scrambled to get to his feet, his rifle lay at his side, refusing to ever raise it to point at her. He knew he couldn’t fight her. So that left the goon at her side that was slowly making his way towards the pod where the child lay sleeping. 

He growled fiercely and moved to raise his rifle but groaned and stumbled on his feet from a harsh blow to his side. Iella. She was after him.

From the corner of his eye he saw Kuiil raise the blaster towards her and his heart skipped a beat in fear.

“Don’t shoot her!” He screamed, his body moving from side to side to avoid the knife his wife was swinging at him. He hissed as she caught him on his arm in the small sliver of a gap where two pieces of his armour met. 

He moaned in pain and fell to his knees as she roundhouse kicked him, knocking him off balance. He’d seen her do that vicious move countless times, he’d been aroused by that move countless times, he’d had to drag her back to the ship countless times to have his way with her after seeing her use that move against bounties. He never thought he’d be on the receiving end of it.

“Please.” He whimpered, unable to ever raise a hand against her. No matter how bruised his body felt, he wouldn’t fight back against her attack.

“We got it?” She asked her partner.

The man had his weapon raised to Kuiil as he approached the pod, rendering the ugnaught unable to take a shot, and he grabbed the child, walking back towards Iella.

He spared a look at the mandalorian and back to the vicious assassin. The cold look in her eyes reassured him that she didn’t remember the man in front of her. 

“Take him out.” He said, as if to test her. He took a step back, allowing her center stage to commit the acts of brutality. He’d worked with her before and he knew how good at it she could be.

“You can’t do this to me.” Din yelled as she stepped forward, her blade twirling in her hands threateningly, seconds away from taking him out. “I know you know me. I know you’re still in there.” 

Iella scoffed and placed the blade against his covered neck. 

It broke his heart to see her so cold-hearted. This wasn’t the woman he loved. It felt like a knife in the heart to see her with no recollection of him. It hurt more than he could ever imagine.

“El, please.” He whispered breathlessly. 

Iella froze, her grip on her weapon loosening at his words.

_El_

She remembered that name. Why did she remember that name?

“What did you say?” She said through gritted teeth, looking at him sternly. The knowledge that he may have answers to her questions, answers to the blank spots in her mind had her heart racing, her mind reeling.

Din looked up at her, his chest lightening with hope. 

“El. Your name is Iella Yazir. We’ve known each other for ten years-”

His words that he spoke so desperately were cut off as she cried out in pain, her hand flying to the side of her neck as she grimaced and screamed in agony. Her body seized and her eyes rolled to the back of her head as she collapsed to the ground, her cries of pain now silent. 

He let out gasping breaths, his eyes stinging with tears as he watched her eyes fall closed, passing out from the pain that overtook her body. He looked up at the man behind her that was still holding the sleeping child, a device held in other hand as he looked down at her in disdain.

She’d failed his test.

In the blink of an eye, Din was on his feet and charging at the man, delivering a punch to his jaw that held so much anger, so much hurt, that it knocked the man to the ground. Din was quick to pull the dagger from his boot and plunged it into the man’s chest, watching with satisfaction as blood spurted from his mouth as he gasped his last breath.

He panted with exertion, his body trembling as thoughts raced through his mind so rapidly it left him dizzy. The intense fear he felt for his wife that lay motionless beside him was like a vice around his heart, it physically hurt.

Kuiil was already at her side, the child thankfully tucked in the crook of his arm. He gently moved her head to the side and his face darkened, as if he recognized what had caused her so much pain. Din was quick to move towards her, kneeling down beside her. 

His body tensed and he felt a white hot wave of anger wash over him when he saw the disk embedded into her neck. The device that left her in this state. He wondered how long she’d had it, why she had it.

He looked over at the dead man, wishing he could kill him a thousand times over. He moved to the device the man had held, the one button he had to press to render his wife screaming in pain.

He crushed the device with the heel of his boot. 

“This is her, isn’t it?” Kuiil asked, the first words to be spoken since the attack, it almost startled Din when the silence had been broken.

He just nodded wordlessly, his eyes locked onto her motionless body. The rise and fall of her chest was enough for him to relax, but only slightly.

“You need to get off this planet.” Kuiil said suddenly. He was familiar with that technology and knew nothing good came from it. 

Din looked up in surprise, as if startled out of his daze as he stared down at his wife.

“I’m guessing it isn’t normal for her to try to kill you. Whoever sent her, they’ll be looking for her. You need to move and make sure they don’t get their hands on her again.”

Din nodded, still in shock from what had just transpired. He almost couldn’t believe she was there in front of him. He reached out slowly, moving a strand of violet hair that covered her face. He let out a shaking breath as he looked at her, really looked at her, for the first time in over a year.

Gods, he missed her, he missed that beautiful face, the way her eyes would scrunch closed as she laughed, the way she’d raise a brow whenever he initiated something intimate, as if to tease him. 

Everything she did was enough to leave him breathless and he hoped to every devine entity that existed that he’d be able to get that back. 

He gently brought her into his arms and began to carry her towards the ship. He let out a shaking breath as he held her in his arms. He thought he’d never get to do this again and despite the awful circumstances, he reveled in the feeling he’d missed so dearly.

Kuiil was behind him, bringing the baby and his pod aboard, knowing the mandalorian was too distracted to focus on his bounty.

Din placed Iella down on his bunk, the one they’d shared all that time ago, as carefully as he could, straightening out her legs and placing the blanket over her.

Kuiil watched with fascination how gentle he was, how clear his devotion and love was for the woman. He never thought he’d see the day a mandalorian was love struck.

But he knew their story would be long fraught with hardship after what he’d seen. He eyed the mandalorian who stood stiffly, his fists clenched tightly. He knew the couple in front of him would need all the prayers in the galaxy to get through whatever this mess was.

Kuiil sighed heavily, sparing one last glance to the child, making sure once again that he was unharmed. 

“The child wasn’t hurt.” Kuiil called out, finally gaining the man’s attention.

Din didn’t respond, his gaze moved to the child briefly before returning back to Iella, as if he was physically incapable of not looking at her for more than a minute. 

“Thank you for looking after him.” He said softly, knowing that fight could have gone a lot worse if Kuiil hadn’t been there to focus on the child when he was so caught up in seeing Iella, he was unable to think of anything else.

“I wish you well, Mandalorian. You’re going to need it.”


	5. Chapter 5

Din was anxious, his foot tapping against the metal floor impatiently as he landed the Razor Crest on Nevarro as quickly as was safely possible. He’d kept the ship on autopilot for most of the journey so he could be by Iella’s side.

Just watching the rhythmic rise and fall of her chest was enough to bring tears to his eyes. She was alive. She was really alive and the nightmare he’d been living for over a year had come to an end.

He wanted to brush off the current circumstances because it was obvious she wasn’t truly ok, but he’d take her breathing over nothing. He’d work through whatever she was going through, he’d help her come back to herself, no matter how long it took.

He was there with her and he wasn’t going to let that change, not ever. He wasn’t going to lose her again.

He just needed to get this job done and then he could move on with his life, with Iella.

As he turned the engine of the ship off, he turned to make sure the child was still ok. He’d awoken shortly after he’d taken off but he was still worried, it felt like what he’d seen the little one do had been a dream. 

His heart dropped and he abruptly stood from his chair when he noticed the cradle was empty. 

With a hushed curse under his breath, he raced out of the cockpit, practically jumping down the ladder as his eyes frantically roamed over every inch of the ship for the child. 

That thing was becoming more and more of a hassle every second he was with him.

Din paused in his frantic movements, noticing the door to his bunk where Iella lay was left open from the last time he’d checked on her before landing. He took a cautious step closer. He knew what the child was capable of after the fight with the mudhorn and despite knowing it was unlikely the child was some evil mastermind that hurt people for no reason, he wasn’t about to take any chances.

He sighed in relief when he saw the little green creature at the side of the bunk where Iella was left sleeping, his little arms reaching up, trying to get to her. 

Din stepped forward, grabbing the child in his arms. The child whined, his arms still reaching out for Iella. 

“No, you leave her alone, go it?” Din ordered, sparing one last look at his wife to see if there was any change. A dejected sigh left him when his hope dwindled at the realization that there was none and he quickly left the room, pressing the button on the side to close the door.

Din placed him back in the cradle and moved to grab his weapons. Hearing the child’s coos made him wince. He knew he wasn’t an honourable man. The job he had kept him from having the morality of justice, but this one job was worse.

Having the child involved made it harder to ignore the seediness of his work. 

“Come on you little womp rat.” Din mumbled, ignoring his conscience that told him he was doing something wrong as he lowered the ramp of the ship.

He couldn’t look back, he couldn’t let his feelings get in the way. 

He needed to focus on Iella and he couldn’t let the child get in the way of it.

~~~

Din, clad in his new armour, walked into the cantina with the stride of a man who hadn’t just done something awful. The confidence he portrayed didn’t match how he felt. It didn’t match the emotional storm inside him.

He hadn’t expected that leaving the child with those warlords would cause such a chaos of feelings to bubble inside him. 

It didn’t feel right. But he had to move on. He always did.

“Mando! Good to see you.” Greef Karga called out when he noticed the bounty hunter approaching. “They all hate you, you’re a legend now.”

“How many of them have tracking fobs?” 

“All of them. But not one of them closed the deal, only you, Mando.” Karga said with a flourish, smiling widely at him.

“Do you know everyone that got a fob?”

“That’d be a lot of people, a lot of names. Why?” He’d expected Mando to at least be a little less stoic than usual, given the hefty reward he’d just earned.

“I got ambushed a few times. Hunters with fobs, trying to get the reward for themselves. One of them was my wife.” He admitted sternly. 

Greef sat stiff as stone in his seat, his face slack with shock. He didn’t know whether he truly believed the Mandalorian when he had come bursting into the bar demanding answers days ago. But now, he truly knew that the man had lost his mind.

“Mando…” He started softly and the tone in his voice immediately made Din angry and he slammed his hand on the table, startling Greef and making him lean away from the bounty hunter cautiously.

“Whoever took Iella, whoever brain washed her and did god knows what to her… you know them, you do business with them, you gave them a fob.” 

“Mando, I swear to you, I don’t know anything about this. Iella is gone and I’m sorry-”

Din turned on his heel abruptly and began to walk out of the cantina. Greef didn’t believe him. He would be no help to him and it was a waste of time to try and get answers from him.

He didn’t bother to stop, ignoring Greef calling out for him to stop. He needed to get back to his ship. It had been too long since he let Iella alone. 

For the first time in a long time, he felt excitement creep through his veins. That feeling of having someone waiting for him, someone to get back to was something he’d missed for over a year. He would finally get to see her face again and to him it felt like the sun was finally rising again after being dormant for so long.

He waved off the patrols at the landing dock, quickly making his way up the ramp of the Razor Crest and closing it behind him. 

He immediately made his way to his bunk, anticipation rolling over him as his hands almost trembled as he pressed the button to open the door. His shoulders sagged and he sighed in defeat when he saw Iella hadn’t moved, she hadn’t woken yet.

Din stepped towards her, kneeling at her bedside as his eyes moved over every inch of her body, worrying that there was some other injury that caused her to remain unconscious. 

He took his gloves off and reached forward, brushing his knuckles over her cheek gently. 

“You gotta wake up soon, love. I haven’t seen you in so long, it’s driving me crazy. I never thought I’d have to live my life without you and to be honest, it hasn’t been easy. I didn’t handle it well and I started to lose myself. But you’re here and for the first time in a long time I feel like myself again.” He whispered to her, his hand greedily stroking through her hair.

“Please.” He whispered desperately. “I need you to come back to me.”

The guilt that festered within him since leaving the child behind increased tenfold as he stared down at his wife. He knew if circumstances were different, if he’d never lost her, if he never experienced that heartbreak and darkness of thinking she was gone from his life forever, he never would’ve taken this job.

Iella had a rule, one he respected and followed. They never worked with kids. No matter what species, they never put childrens’ lives in danger and he had broken that rule. He had focused on the credits instead of the values she had instilled in him.

It had him feeling even more guilty than before. 

“I don’t know what to do.” He whispered to her unconscious body. 

He knew if she was still at his side, as her usual self, she would have smacked him upside the head for even considering what he had done. 

Iella never would’ve let him give up the child and he felt as though he had betrayed her because of it. He grit his teeth, his mind whirling with the operatics of what he was about to do.

“I did a bad thing.” He admitted quietly, bowing his head in shame. “Kriff, you would kick my ass if you knew what I’d done.”

He sighed heavily, weighing his options in his mind. 

“I think I’m going crazy.” He muttered as he considered what he was about to do. But he hesitated. 

He couldn’t put himself in danger because that meant putting Iella in danger. He couldn’t risk it, not now when she was dealing with the trauma she’d been through that caused her to not recognize him. 

But he thought of her, of how kind and loving she was and he knew he couldn’t disappoint her, no matter if she remembered him or not. He knew when she did get back to herself he’d have to admit what he’d done and he didn’t want to be what caused her to be upset. 

He knew what he had to do.

“I’ll make it right. I promise.” He said softly, leaning down to kiss her forehead gently before he was springing up from his spot on the floor at her bedside and moving to grab his weapons.

He would not be the reason this child suffered. He couldn’t be. When he got Iella back, he would not be the cause of any disappointment. He knew he needed to right his wrong, especially before his wife woke and figured out what he had done.

No matter what he thought about himself and his own reputation, he would not let this child stay in the clutches of evil men.

Din paused before he left the room. He turned on his heel and looked at Iella contemplatively. He didn’t know what kind of state of mind she’d be in when she woke, he didn’t know if she’d still look at him as a stranger, as the enemy. 

It was with a heavy heart and trembling hands that he pulled the binders off his belt and connected her wrist to the small table next to her. 

He couldn’t take the chance of her bolting if she woke up alone. He’d finally found her after so long and he couldn’t handle losing her again. 

“I’ll be back soon, I promise.” He whispered to her still form, pressing one last kiss to her forehead that he couldn’t resist. 

He had been deprived of her for so long, it was the first indulgence he’d allowed himself in a year.

With a final look at his wife, the woman that had shaped him, that had changed him for the better, he stormed off the ship, ready to tear apart the entire town to right his wrong, to get the child back in his arms where he belonged.

~~~

Din’s heart was racing as he closed the ramp of the ship. He’d just shot Greef Karga, his confidant, his boss. 

It was hard to believe that he’d defied the guild, that he was now a traitor, now on the run. The repercussions of his actions hadn’t really sunk in until he was getting shot at by multiple bounty hunters. At that point, Iella was the only thing on his mind, the motivating factor that made him fully accept that his decision was the right one.

He knew she’d be proud of his choice and that made the title of traitor worth it. 

Din was quick to start the engine of the ship and fly off the planet. He would be happy to never see Nevarro again. His fingers tapped against the controls of the ship anxiously as he flew. Once they were set in light speed, he set the ship to autopilot, looking down at the child who stared back at him curiously before he was making his way out of the cockpit.

He hadn’t checked on Iella when he had gotten back to the ship. There was too much hassle, he just knew he’d had to get out of there as quick as possible to avoid the other guild members who were after him.

His heart fluttered in anticipation, as it had all day when he was about to see her, as if he couldn’t really believe that he was really able to see her again. It still felt like a dream to him.

He stepped into the room, an involuntary smile already growing as he expected to see her, but his steps stopped abruptly and his heart dropped to his stomach when all he saw was an empty bunk, the binders he’d put on her wrist, hanging from the bedside table that lay in pieces. 

“El?” He called out, taking slow steps out of the bunk. If he knew anything from his encounters with her, he knew she was highly skilled and dangerous. He had to be careful because it was obvious she didn’t know him or who he was to her.

“Come on, baby. You know me. You know I would never hurt you. Why don’t you come out and we’ll talk about this.” He called out to the silence of the ship, waiting anxiously for an answer.

But one never came. There was no answer, no movement that signaled where she was hiding. 

“Iella please-” His desperate pleas were cut off as a blow to the back of his head startled him and made him fall to the floor of the ship with a groan of pain.

He turned on his back, his hands raising in surrender as he stared back at Iella who stood above him, her face dark and her eyes wild, like a caged animal. He suddenly realized what it looked like to her, to wake up in an unfamiliar space, handcuffed to a table. 

He knew this would not end well.

“Shit.” He mumbled to himself, slowly backing up from her intimidating form. “Baby, please. You know me. This isn’t you.”

“Shut up.” She hissed, staring down at him fiercely. She moved quickly, her foot slamming down against his chest. 

Din heaved at the blow and back up away from her, his heart breaking at the sight of her cold, uncaring eyes staring back at him. 

“El, pleas-”

“Don’t say that name!” She yelled, pulling a knife from her waistband that he hadn’t known was there. She pointed the weapon at him but he could see how her hands trembled, how her wide eyes portrayed just how scared and confused she felt.

“You know me. You know that name.” He said slowly, cautiously getting to his knees in front of her, worried that the slightest motion would cause her to perceive a threat and attack. 

“I don’t.”

“You do. I know you do.” He pleaded with her. 

His words just caused her to feel even more confused and she didn’t hesitate any longer, lunging forward with a swipe of her knife that he expertly dodged. She kicked at his arm that reached out for her, sending another vicious kick to his side that left him slightly winded.

“Stop! I’m not gonna hurt you, I swear.” He pleaded, refusing to put his hands on her or cause her any harm.

Seeing that he wasn’t going to fight back, she quickly wrapped her legs around his waist, using his own strength against him as she rounded up on his back, immediately pulling her arm around his neck which left him gasping for air.

She pressed harder and harder, ignoring the feeling of dread inside of her as she heard his pained wheezes as he struggled for breath. She faltered slightly when she heard that name again, the one that she recognized but didn’t know why, the one that left her feeling pained.

A soft coo sounded from across the room, causing her head to snap up, her eyes locking onto a little green creature who stared back at her with the biggest eyes she’d ever seen. Her grip fell slack as she stared at the creature in surprise.

Din took her momentary distraction to his advantage and quickly turned his body, grabbing her by the waist and pulling her to the floor. He quickly reached for his second set of binders that were attached to his belt and with all his might, attached the squirming woman to the shelf behind her.

“Let me go!” She yelled, kicking her legs out at him and pulling at the binders frantically. He noticed how scared she looked, how apprehensive she was to be around him and it broke his heart.

“It’s ok. Relax, I’m not gonna hurt you I just need you to stop hurting me.”

She relaxed, finally stopping her struggling when she realized that he wasn’t pointing a weapon at her and the fact that he hadn’t fought back both times she’d gone after him left her believing his words.

Din looked back at the child, sighing deeply and moving towards him, swiftly picking him up and placing him in his bunk, quickly closing the door behind him so the child wouldn’t follow him out.

He couldn’t deal with the kid, not now.

“Do you know who I am?” He asked, almost desperately. He couldn’t control the emotion in his voice. He was so scared for her and he couldn’t hide it.

“You’re a Mandalorian.” She answered simply and he sighed in defeat, his head bowing at the answer that broke his heart. She didn’t know him and it hurt more than he could ever believe. 

“Look, I’m only here for the child. Let me take him and you don’t have to get hurt.” She reasoned with him, though her tone was harsh, making him feel anything but comforted at her ultimatum. 

“Ok.” He said slowly, still cautious of his every move because he knew she didn’t trust him and he didn’t want her to find a way out of those cuffs again and come after him. “Do you remember who sent you?”

“Master Voros.” She answered and she immediately cursed herself in her head. She didn’t know why she told him or why he was even still breathing after holding her hostage. Her hesitation around the man in front of her didn’t make sense to her.

“Master?” Din mumbled sadly, shaking his head in defeat. “Look, I know you don’t trust me but I promise you no harm will come to you, not while I’m here, ok? I just wanna talk to you.”

“What do we need to talk about? You have my bounty and you took me hostage. As far as I’m concerned, you’re the bad guy here. I don’t owe you anything.” She argued with him, her face still drawn tightly with anger and mistrust.

Din sighed heavily. “Just listen to me, please. I promise I’ll explain everything.”

She grit her teeth, fighting the urge to roll her eyes at him. Usually, any person she’d been in contact with would be dead by now. She didn’t know why she didn’t want to kill him, why that voice in her head stopped her from doing so.

Din took his helmet off, almost sighing in relief when he was able to see her without any filter, he saw her so realistically. Seeing the dark color of her eyes for himself was almost hypnotic and he found himself having trouble looking away or focusing on what he was trying to do.

Iella’s eyes widened and she stared back at him in shock. 

“You… what are you doing?” She stammered, averting her eyes from him. 

“Will you look at me, please?” He said softly and Iella shook her head.

“You’re a Mandalorian, I’m not supposed to.”

Din’s heart fluttered and he smiled sadly, he remembered how scared and hesitant she’d been on their wedding night when she’d seen his face for the first time. She hadn’t thought she was worth it, that he shouldn't show his face to her. 

She’d been so scared that he would regret it and he promised that he would spend every day of his life letting her know how glad he was to show her the real him. Even now, when she had no idea who he was anymore.

“It’s ok. You’re the only one I’m allowed to show my face to.”

“That doesn’t make sense. The only people Mandalorians are allowed to show their faces to are their… spouses.” She trailed off, saying the words slowly and quietly, as if it were cursed.

Her face went pale and she stared at him curiously. Her mind was whirling and she didn’t know what the hell to think at this point.

“I don’t know you.” She said abruptly, her breathing becoming laboured as she began to panic slightly. 

“You do.” Din stressed. “My name is Din Djarin. You’ve known me for over ten years. And you…” He paused, taking a deep breath. “You’re my wife.”

Iella stared back at him, her eyes wide and her lips parted in surprise. She immediately wanted to lunge at him, to stick her knife in his gut for his words, but something stopped her. Something that told her he wasn’t so crazy.

_His wife. I’m his wife, he loves me, I love him._

She could picture it. She had a flash of memories of her wrapped in his arms, his face above hers, panting, his mouth open as he moaned her name as he thrust himself inside her relentlessly. She heard herself call out for him, her hands clutching onto his shoulders, her nails leaving a trail of red scratches down his biceps. 

It all felt so real.

She shook her head, forcing the memory away. _Focus_ , she told herself. _This doesn’t make sense, this can’t be true._

“I know you remember me. You’re fighting it, but it’s there.” He said to her, wanting so desperately to reach out to her, but he didn’t want to scare her off. He’d gotten her to stand down from wanting to kill him, he didn’t want to push his luck.

“Do you remember your name?” He asked slowly.

She paused, her face falling as she bowed her head, almost looking shameful.

“I don’t have one.” She admitted quietly and the sound of her voice made his heart shatter once again.

“Your Master didn’t call you by anything?” 

“He calls me darling, but I know that’s not my name. No one else calls me that but him.”

Din breathed deeply, forcing himself to relax, to not get angry at a man that wasn’t there, despite how much he wanted to kill him for what he’d done to his wife.

“You have a name.” He told her quietly, feeling overwhelmed with emotions he’d never felt before.

“How do I know you’re being honest?”

“I … I don’t know. Your master, Voros, he’s the one that’s been lying to you. Has he hurt you?”

Iella stayed silent, her eyes casting down towards the floor again and that was enough of an answer for him and it had his chest constricting tightly at the realization. The thought of her getting hurt, of someone manipulating her so deeply and darkly was almost too much to fathom and he had to stop himself from getting too emotional at the knowledge of what she’d been through this whole time.

“Iella, listen to me-”

“Stop saying that name.” She hissed at him, her face tight with anger as she sent a glare his way that he’d never seen on her face before.

“Why?” He pried, gaining courage to probe further, desperate to get her back to him. “You know that name, that’s why it’s hard to hear, that’s why you get so mad when I say it.”

Iella hesitated, not having words to retaliate.

“Your name is Iella Yazir. We met years ago when the Mandalorians took you in. We became friends and partners… and then lovers. You’re the only woman I’ve ever loved, the only one I’ve ever cared about in my entire life and I know you’re still in there and I know you still feel it.”

Iella wanted to curse him out, to stop him, but she couldn’t. For so long she’d felt so empty, so stupid for having such blank spaces in her mind and the knowledge that the man in front of her could potentialy fill in the gaps she was missing was too tempting to not follow through.

“How did we meet?” She asked quietly, surprising him and causing him to look at her with the softest expression she thought she’d ever seen. 

The way he treated her, talked to her, was nothing like the way the people at the compound did, the way Master Voros did and she found she liked it. She liked the soft, tender way he spoke and looked at her.

“It’s a long story.”

“I got time… apparently.” She joked darkly, pulling at the handcuff on her wrist that kept her from moving anywhere. She noticed the man in front of her did not crack a smile, in fact, he looked pained at the sight of the binding on her wrist and it stirred something inside of her. 

She felt something she’d never once felt before. She felt cared for the first time she could ever remember and it led her to feel even more confused than before. 

“You were only a teenager when your family was killed. This gang of mercenaries were known for raiding small villages and stealing people.” He paused, swallowing thickly, as if the memory was hard for him to remember. “They took you and you worked for them as a slave for a few years.”

Iella’s face paled and she had to look away from him. What scared her the most about the story is that it wasn’t surprising. Despite hearing the story about her life for what she thought was for the first time, it didn’t feel like the first time, the story didn’t feel unfamiliar to her.

“My people, the Mandalorians, got word of this gang of mercenaries and we got assigned to take them out. We knew they were trafficking people, killing entire villages and keeping people as slaves, so we were sent to take care of them.”

Iella noticed how Din’s face lightened, how his saddened expression turned to one that looked more nostalgic, like he was remembering a memory that meant a lot to him. Her stomach twisted at the thought and she didn’t know how to feel.

“By the time the Mandalorians got to their hideout, you had rallied all the other slaves, started a revolution and the fight was practically over when we got there.” He said wistfully, a sad smile on his face. “You were such a good leader. You convinced all the other slaves, no matter if they were young or old to fight back against their captors. There were barely any masters left alive by the time we got there. You’d fought your own fight and I knew the second I saw you that I was doomed, that you would take over my thoughts forever.”

Iella was breathless at his words. She didn’t know how to feel, how to rationalize that there was this man before her, practically confessing his love for her and she just didn’t _know_ him. It was hard for her to wrap her head around.

“The Mandalorians gave all the surviving slaves a choice, join the covert or relocate. You chose to join the covert and from then on we barely spent a day apart. I looked after you, I took care of you… well, actually, you took care of me more than anything.” He admitted with a small smile, like he was caught up in all the good memories they’d shared together. “You always guided me in the right direction, you were always so good to me, even when I didn’t deserve it.”

“Why wouldn’t you deserve it?” She asked abruptly, startling him from his memories.

“I’ve done bad things. I’ve been trained since a young age to kill my targets, to be ruthless, to not let emotions cloud my judgment, even if I was in the wrong. You taught me about everything good in the galaxy, how to not let this job take over and ruin the good things in my life.”

Iella was quiet as she took in his words and he watched her carefully, trying to gage her reaction. He knew it was a lot to take in, that it would be overwhelming for her to suddenly be this person she couldn’t remember, he just hoped he hadn’t pushed her too far.

“Please say something.” He whispered, staring at her worriedly when he saw the blank look on her face.

“I… I don’t know what to say.” She said quietly and Din was thankful that the edge in her tone was gone. “This doesn’t seem real.” 

“I know. I can’t imagine what you’re thinking right now.” 

“How do I know you’re not lying to me?” She countered, staring back at him curiously.

“You don’t. I’m just hoping you remember, just the slightest bit of what I told you, to trust me enough to know that I’d never do anything to hurt you. I swear on my life, that’s the last thing I’d ever want to do.”

Iella stared back at him, their eyes meeting and it left both of them breathless. That voice in the back of her head told her not to fight back, not to question what he was saying. It felt so good to finally have a story, to have a name, but she was still hesitant, too scared to fully trust him.

“You promise not to hurt me?” She asked and the way her voice sounded so weak and so vulnerable left him feeling so utterly heartbroken. 

“I promise. I’ll do whatever I can to make this right.” He told her and he meant every single word.

Iella nodded slowly, staring at the man in front of her carefully. She didn’t know what to believe. All she knew was she longed for the comfort he seemed to bring and she was fighting a war inside her head.

Did she trust him or not?


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you're enjoying the story so far! xx

_ She couldn’t help the smile that stretched across her face as those familiar brown eyes became her first sight of the day.  _

_ “Good morning, love.” He spoke, his voice that was still raspy with sleep sending a pleasurable chill of excitement down her spine.  _

_ “Morning.” She answered, the giddy feeling he brought to her refusing to dissipate. She wondered if it ever would around him. _

_ She hummed in contentment as his hand carded through her hair, letting her eyes fall closed.  _

_ “That feels nice.” She whispered, feeling the pull of sleep grasping her once again.  _

Iella’s eyes opened and the image she’d thought was in front of her disappeared. She gasped lightly, bolting upwards from the bunk she’d been sleeping in. She looked down and startled slightly at the sight of the Mandalorian asleep on the floor at her bedside.

Her brows furrowed at the sight of him. His helmet was still off from the night before and she couldn’t help the stirring of feelings within her as she looked at his face, the same face that had invaded her dreams.

The same face that felt so familiar. 

She let out a shaking breath, running a trembling hand through her tangled hair.  _ Din _ . That was what he said his name was. While looking down at him she resisted the urge to brush the hair from in front of his eyes.

Her spine stiffened at the thought. Those petty, frivolous thoughts weren’t allowed. They would only slow her down and create a weakness she didn’t need. She repressed a shiver at the thought of having something to care about, something to make her weak. She almost  _ wanted  _ it. 

The conversation last night had gone better than she expected. He’d kept her promise and he didn’t put a hand on her. That alone left her feeling more comforted with him than she had with Voros or anyone else on that base. 

No matter how much more she wanted to know about this apparent life she had and the apparent husband she had, she knew she couldn’t stay. 

She had a job to do and if she spent any more time away from Voros she knew she’d be in trouble. She was probably already in for a world of hurt given that her partners had been killed and she hadn’t returned. 

Voros would blame her. 

Her chest felt tight at the thought of what would happen to her when she made it back. She swallowed the lump in her throat and shook her head. 

_ Better to get it over with _ , she thought to herself. It would only get worse for her the longer she was away.

The thought made her feel sick, but she didn’t know what else to do, where else to go. She didn’t know if her ‘husband’ would still want her given that she didn’t remember him. She figured he wouldn’t want to deal with her anymore.

She slowly crept out of bed, making sure not to step on the man that lay on guard in front of her. Slowly, she pulled her boots back on, the same boots that Din had so carefully removed when she was too tired to even remain standing.

Her chest tightened again and she placed a hand over her heart, her face creasing with worry.  _ Heart attack probably _ , she thought. With how overwhelmed she felt she knew it was a possibility, but a voice in the back of her head told her she was wrong.

She breathed deeply, moving past the thought before it could lay more doubt within her.

_ You don’t belong here _ , she told herself. 

Din wouldn’t let her go easily, she knew that, and she knew she needed to leave before he could stop her. 

She grabbed her jacket that lay over the foot of the bunk and shrugged it on, patting the side pocket to make sure her knife was still there. She didn’t know if her supposed husband was too trusting or just plain dumb to let her keep it.

She paused before she left the room, turning to look back at him, still fast asleep. She remembered his words from the night before,  _ you have a name, we became friends...then lovers, I would never do anything to hurt you _ , they rang through her head, almost tortuously.

Her stomach filled with butterflies, something that felt so unfamiliar to her, but in a way was also so comforting and assuring to her. 

He was there for her. He wouldn’t hurt her like Voros did, he wouldn’t treat her like a mindless weapon. 

_ Din. _

She ran his name over in her mind again, feeling so conflicted over the emotions that swirled inside her at the thought of him. 

Lovers. That was what they were.

Or so he says. 

If he was right and Voros had been manipulating her for so long, how was she to know that Din wasn’t doing the exact same thing?

_ He’s not. He would never, not to you. _

She squeezed her eyes shut at that damn voice in her head. The one that so desperately wanted her to stay with Din. That voice called him her saviour and she was scared she was starting to believe it.

_ Trust him. Stay with him. Let him heal you. _

Iella let out a shaking breath and hurried out of the room, her eyes frantically searching around the ship. Without giving much thought to her surroundings, she moved to the left, entering the fresher and slamming the light on.

She didn’t have time to think about why she’d known where it was and why she knew exactly where the light had been. She was panicking too much to really dwell on it or it would have made her panic all the more.

She turned the tap on, letting the cool water run over her hands. She sighed in relief as she splashed the water over her face, taking in a deep breath to try and relax herself as she let the confusion over her situation ruminate with her.

Looking up, the reflection that stared back at her left her even more confused. Was she the person Din said she was? Could she really just forget all those years? Was she capable of loving someone?

Just days ago she would’ve answered no to each and every one of those questions. But now, she wasn’t so sure. Not after how sincere Din had been with her. 

He had her doubting everything she believed in.

Her eyes cast over her reflection before they stopped abruptly at her neck. She felt the lump in her throat grow until it felt as though it would choke her as she twisted her head and stared at the device on her neck. The one that had left her screaming in agony and unconscious for an entire day.

Voros had done that to her. He had caused her that pain. 

Iella let out a shaking breath. She needed to make a decision and fast, before Voros killed her out of pure anger.

Without giving her decision much though, she reached into her jacket, pulling out her knife. Her breathing stuttered as she raised the deadly blade to her neck, her chest heaving nervously. 

Carefully, she dug the knife into her neck, at the edge of the device that was embedded in her skin. She winced, her face scrunching in pain as the blade dug around the small incision she’d made, trying her best to dislodge the thing that had hurt her.

“What are you doing?!” A panicked voice yelled, making her jump in surprise. She hissed as the blade nicked her skin, but before she could place a hand over the small wound, Din was already there, one hand covering her neck and the other reaching to take the knife from her.

“Oh god, oh shit!” Din cursed frantically, quickly reaching for a towel to press against her neck to soak up the blood that ran down to her chest.

Iella watched him closely, noticing the shine in his eyes, the unshed tears. His hands trembled against the towel and the fear and despair on his face was unmistakable. 

That only made her feel even more confused by what she was supposed to feel for him. 

No one had ever looked so worried for her before and it made something inside her fill with warmth, something she didn’t even know existed within her and it completely confused her. 

“Fuck, what the hell were you doing?” He asked, his voice shaking. 

“I just-”

“You can’t do this to yourself! You can’t just kill yourse- fuck! El, you can’t do this.” He rambled panickedly, cutting off her explanation. 

“I wasn’t tryi-”

“I can’t lose you, not again. What you’re going through, we’ll work this out. I swear I’ll do everything I can to fix this. You just have to give me a chance.” He said, sounding like he was pleading with her and it made her stomach fill with butterflies once again.

“Din,” She started and she watched as his eyes widened and he stared into her eyes, finally tearing his attention away from the wound on her neck.

His stomach flipped at the sound of her saying his name. It filled him with hope that left him deliriously happy.

“I wasn’t trying to kill myself. I didn’t want to hurt myself, I just… I …” She stammered, trying to find the words to explain her actions even though she didn’t really understand it herself.

“What?” He urged softly, his hands moving to hold hers. Her breathing hitched and she stared down at the affectionate gesture with wide eyes.

His warm hands against hers felt so good. She found herself dreading the moment he would let go.

“I wanted that thing out. I don’t want Voros to find me. I don’t want him to hurt me again.” She explained quietly. 

Just two minutes ago, she wasn’t expecting to make the decision she did. She didn’t expect to make the decision to not return to the man she called Master. The only thing she could think of was the pain she’d endured at his hand and she knew she couldn’t go back.

Din had been so sweet to her, so gentle and it was the first time she’d ever felt that. Or not, she guessed. But it was the first she could remember and it meant so much to her. Too much for her to just walk away.

She knew the second she left him she’d regret it. 

“You…” Din paused, his eyes searching hers intently, his mind racing estatically. “You wanna stay… here… with me?” 

Iella shifted on her feet anxiously, feeling nervous under his gaze. Those eyes held so much love and she still had a hard time believing it was truly directed at her. She was sure he had to be thinking of another woman when he talked about the love they shared.

“Yes - I mean, I don’t… maybe.” She answered quietly, feeling unusually bashful at her admittance. She’d never felt so vulnerable before. “I can’t go back there. He’ll kill me or torture me or whatever it is that he does to me.”

“What do you mean, you don’t know?” Din asked, almost hesitantly like he didn’t actually want to know the answer.

Iella bit her lip nervously, contemplating how truthful she should be. It would usually be a quick decision to lie but with the way he looked at her, she found herself wanting to spill everything.

“You said I’ve been gone about a year, right?” 

Din nodded slowly, looking at her curiously. 

“I don’t remember it. I only remember the last week. The rest is… murky.” She explained lowly. 

Din’s face sobered and a quick flash of anger crossed his features. He sighed loudly and reached out, moving to reflexively comfort her and as his hand brushed against her cheek, she flinched away from him, her eyes casting down to the floor, away from his.

Din felt his heart ache but immediately took a step back from her, whispering an apology. He realized that even though he felt like he was reuniting with his wife, Iella wasn’t in the same state of mind. 

To her, she wasn’t reuniting with her husband, she was with a stranger. A stranger that loved her and was desperate to hold her and love her again. 

He couldn’t even imagine how confusing this was for her and he realized he shouldn’t be pushing her. He needed to wait patiently for her to come back to herself. The best course of action is to wait for her to make the first move so he didn’t completely scare her off.

No matter how much he missed her, he needed to wait.

He breathed deeply, moving the knife back up to her neck. He noticed her flinch again and it broke his heart even more.

“It’s ok. I told you last night, I’m not gonna hurt you, I never would.” He said softly, his hands softly moving to tilt her chin upwards in a gesture so soft she’d never remembered experiencing. “I’ll help you get this thing out.” 

Iella nodded, exhaling loudly and straightening her shoulders, preparing herself for the incoming pain. She didn’t know why, but as soon as he began to dig the knife into his skin, she tried her hardest to hide her pain. She didn’t want Din to see her in this state and she didn’t know why she was trying to spare his feelings, but she could only do so much. The pain was becoming unbearable.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Din whispered as he heard her wince as he dug the knife in as carefully as he could.

He winced himself, he could only imagine how painful this was for her and he was happy when the small device finally fell into the sink in front of them and she was finally free of the torment it would cause her.

“There we go.” Din said, resisting the urge to smile in relief. 

Iella nodded and he could immediately tell that something was off with her.

“What is it?” He asked softly. 

“This doesn’t feel right. I shouldn’t be doing this.” She said, her voice beginning to sound frantic and she moved to leave the room but he quickly stopped her, his hands holding onto her shoulders, thankful that his touch hadn’t made her flinch like before.

“El, you can’t go back with him. You belong here.”

Iella shook her head, her eyes cast downwards, refusing to look at him. 

“He’ll kill me. He’ll kill you for helping me.”

“I can keep you safe. I swear it. That bastard won’t ever get his hands on you again.” Din told her, his eyes holding a fire of fierce protectiveness she didn’t think she’d ever seen before. His words were enough to make her heart race, but it was as he held the towel against her neck to stop the bleeding that she felt her heart ache for him, something she was new to experiencing. 

“Why are you doing this?” She asked quietly, feeling her eyes beginning to sting with tears. 

“Why am I doing what?” 

“Why are you helping me? Why are you so willing to put up with this?” 

Din sighed heavily, his heart breaking even more at the hurt he saw on her face. It killed him to think of what she had gone through with that son of a bitch Voros. 

“Because I love you. And even though you don’t remember me it doesn’t mean you deserve to go back to him. You belong here, with me, and I’m willing to wait as long as you need and even if you never remember me and what we had, I’ll still do everything in my power to protect you and keep you safe from him.”

Iella felt overwhelmed by his words, feeling her emotions run tenfold. She’d never have anyone treat her the way he treated her. She couldn’t believe what he was willing to do for her. 

“I don’t deserve this.” She whispered.

“You do. I know you, the real you, and whatever you’ve done in this last year doesn’t change that. You deserve to be saved, you deserve to have your life back.” Din told her honestly.

Iella looked down again, noticing her hand was still locked with his. The gesture seemed so innocent but so intimate. It confused her even more.

“Let’s just… take it one day at a time. I don’t wanna go back, but I can’t put you in danger. You seem like a good man, an honest man, and I can’t be the reason you get hurt. I can’t let you put yourself on the line for me.”

“That’s my choice to make, and I’ll make it. You’re worth it.” Din shrugged, as if it were the simplest decision in the world.

Iella blinked, looking up at him in surprise. The way he treated her, the way he talked to her was unlike anything she’d ever seen. 

Sure, she’d seen husbands with their wives, their affectionate gestures that she’d always rolled her eyes at, but this devotion, this unflinching and unconditional love and need to protect was something she’d never experienced and she found it wasn’t horrible like she had previously assumed it would be. 

“He’ll come after me, after  _ you _ .” She explained.

“Let him come. I’d love to get my hands on that bastard and make him regret ever touching you.” 

The way his voice lowered and sounded so dangerous had a chill running down her spine.

Before Iella could respond to his heart melting admission, a muffled coo startled the both of them, making them jump. Din’s hand abruptly fell from hers and he raced back to his room, placing his helmet back on. 

She was right, she hated the feel of his absence, of her hand without his.

She also found she didn’t like to see him with his helmet on. She much preferred his face, those brown eyes that were so soft and full of love. 

She hated that she couldn’t see them anymore.

Iella slowly crept out of the fresher, watching as Din opened the hatch of the cradle, and she startled at the sight of the little green creature that poked its head out.

She’d almost forgotten about the child, her mission.

A wave of guilt hit her when she noticed how adorable the little thing was and she realized she would’ve really hurt the innocent child if not for Din interfering. 

The knowledge was just another reason for her to not trust Voros. She couldn’t remember if kids had ever been involved in her job previously. All she knew was that the man she worked for wanted her to hurt the little one in front of her and it made her feel sick.

That was enough for her to feel safe in the knowledge that she wasn’t going back to him.

“You didn’t take him to the client?” She asked Din as he took the child out of it’s cradle. She tried to ignore how it’s big eyes landed on hers. She didn’t want to totally melt in front of him so it was better to just look away.

Din sighed, feeling regret wash over him even though he’d made up for his lapse in judgement.

“I did, but I… I couldn’t go through with it. I took the child back.”

“Why?” 

Iella’s question caught him off guard and he looked over at her curiously. 

“I couldn’t. Leaving the child there… with those men… it wasn’t right.” He explained slowly, contemplating telling her her role in his decision, but ultimately decided against it. She was already overwhelmed with everything he’d told her the night before and he didn’t want to make it worse.

Iella just nodded in response, sensing that Din didn’t want to talk about it.

“I don’t get it.” Din started, looking down at the child as he squirmed in his arms, trying to reach out to Iella. “He has some sort of obsession with you. He was trying to get to you yesterday.” 

Iella looked at the child curiously, feeling herself stifling a smile as she watched the adorable little thing look up at her, its ears perking up and his little arms reaching out for her, as if wanting her to pick him up.

“I think he likes you.” Din said, the amusement heard in his voice despite not being able to see the expression on his face.

Din looked at her carefully and Iella could tell that his gaze was on her.

“What?”

“I just… I know how dangerous this is, having both you and the child with me. I know there’s going to be a target on my back, but I don’t care.”

Iella felt herself blush and she looked down, trying to avoid Din’s gaze even though she couldn’t even see it for herself.

“I’m gonna try to search for a safe place for us. Do you mind staying here with the child?” He asked, his voice laced with uncertainty. 

Iella just nodded in response. She didn’t know if she felt completely comfortable with looking after the child, but there was some sort of instinct within her that was willing to try.  _ Maybe it was the old me,  _ she thought to herself, though the thought was still unsettling to her.

The fact that she had this life she never even remembered left her feeling completely overwhelmed. 

Din was hesitant to leave her, especially after missing her for over a year and even more especially after seeing the nervous look on her face, but he knew she needed space and it was the least he could do to give it to her.

Iella stared down at the little green child that stood on the table, it’s wide eyes looking up at her curiously. She reached out hesitantly, feeling a shaking breath leave her as she took the child into her arms. 

This feeling was something completely foreign but she found it wasn’t totally uncomfortable. She liked the way he nuzzled into her the crook of her neck. She liked the way her heart absolutely melted at the sound of his content coo as she held him closely.

She liked that he was totally oblivious to how destructive she could be, how dangerous she was. She liked that he didn’t know. 

She looked down at the child in her arms at the same moment he looked up at her. But as soon as he placed his tiny little hand against her cheek, her eyes widened and she felt a wave of emotion wash over her.

An intense feeling came over her, like energy flowing through her at his touch.

She immediately felt calmed, like she had no care in the world, like she was exactly where she was meant to be. It felt like she was trapped in a deep sleep, totally unaware of her surroundings, completely free of any thought, any worries or troubles. 

She wanted this feeling to last forever.

“You two ok?” A voice called out, startling her out of her state of relaxation. 

Iella jumped and pulled the child away from her, his hand falling from her cheek and the intense relaxation she felt dissipated almost instantaneously. 

“Yeah, we’re fine.” She answered, trying to hide just how much that interaction had shaken her, how much it affected her.

“Just wanted to tell you, I’ve set the course for Sorgan. It’s a remote planet. Small, isolated. I doubt anyone would find us there.” Din explained and Iella nodded in response, feeling hope rise within her.

She felt giddy that Din was keeping to his word, that he was actually willing to try to keep her safe.

“We’ll be there by tomorrow. You might want to get some rest.” 

Iella nodded and placed the child down in the cradle as she stood. She moved to make her way to the bunk but stopped in her tracks. She found herself wishing Din to follow. She wanted him by her bedside like he’d been the night before. 

She wanted him to protect her. She liked waking up to find him there, it made her feel so safe and wanted. 

“You ok?”

She startled slightly at his question and realized she hadn’t taken another step. 

“Yeah, I’m good.” She smiled softly, a barely perceptible smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “Thank you for today, I really appreciate it.”

Din smiled, his chest tightening at her praise, no matter how small it was. 

“Of course.”

Iella moved to make her way to the bunk but his voice stopped her.

“I hope you know… Whatever I need to do for you, to help you, it’s never going to be trouble. I’ll never regret it. You’re worth everything to me and I’m willing to do anything to keep you safe.”

Din’s words left her speechless and she was left to gape at him wordlessly. The sound of his voice, the dedication she heard, she found she was left unable but to smile at him. She nodded slightly, unable to form any words back.

Her heart was racing as she made her way to the bunk and once she sat down, she placed a hand over her chest, unable to describe exactly what she felt.

The way her heart ached and her stomach fluttered was something so unfamiliar but something so pleasurable to her. 

She found she never wanted to stop feeling that, especially if Din was the cause.


	7. Chapter 7

Din kept looking over his shoulder as he piloted the ship. It was getting difficult to look after the adventurous child that insisted on pressing every button on the panel in front of him while simultaneously trying to check up on Iella and make sure she was still ok.

He worried that she’d creep up behind him and knock him upside the head. She’d certainly done that more than once over the past few days, enough for him to be paranoid now. 

He hoped Sorgan would be good for her, he hoped it would be possible for her to gain her memories back, even just a few of them would make a difference. He longed for a day when she would look at him and he would see that look of familiarity and love in her eyes that he had been used to seeing from her before the crash.

He landed the Razor Crest on the grassy fields of Sorgan and sighed heavily, a lot was riding on this trip. 

He stood from his pilot’s chair and stared down at the child who was staring right back up at him with those enormous eyes he had. 

“You stay here. You got that? Don’t touch anything, I’ll find us some lodging and come back for you.” Din told the child sternly, though he doubted how much of it he really understood. Din rolled his eyes under the helmet, feeling ridiculous for talking to a child that clearly didn’t understand him and he left the cockpit, making his way back to where he left Iella.

His steps slowed as he walked into the room and he saw her sitting at the table, her eyes filled with emotions he couldn’t decipher as she stared off into space. 

It wasn’t unusual that she would do that. He’d tell her time and time again to get her head out of the clouds, but she always seemed so carefree, so relaxed when she would. The expression on her face now told him she wasn’t relaxed. She was stressed and worried and he didn’t know how to help.

It killed him to feel so helpless around her.

“Hey,” He called out softly, trying his best not to startled her, though he failed as he saw her jump in her spot, her hand immediately moving to the knife at her hip, but he was glad to see her relax slightly when her eyes found him.

That was progress to him. She wasn’t trying to attack him anymore, which he was thankful for.

“Ready to head out?” 

Iella furrowed her brows and stared at him with confusion.

“You want me to come with you? Are you sure that’s safe?”

“I’ll be right beside you. I promise nothing is gonna happen.” Din assured her but she still looked hesitant. “I thought you’d liked to get some fresh air, see the sun again.” 

He knew how much she used to love exploring unfamiliar planets, taking in the sunlight. After being held in slavery for a few years, she cherished her freedom and wanted to soak it in as much as possible.

He wondered if she remembered that about herself.

Iella nodded slowly, the desire to finally get off the ship too enticing to not go. 

“What about the child?”

“He’s staying here.” Din answered and as he moved towards the hatch to lower the ramp, Iella noticed the little green child waddling behind him, making his way towards the doors.

She smiled lightly in amusement, knowing the child hadn’t listened to Din. 

“Are you sure about that?” 

Din looked back at her and she pointed over to his side. He looked down and his shoulders slumped when he saw the child looking up at him, his ears twitching upwards, almost to say he’d won this round.

He sighed heavily and shook his head.

“What the hell, let’s go.” He mumbled and the child was quick to start waddling his way down the ramp. 

Iella smiled at him and followed behind him slowly. “Careful, little guy, don’t want you to trip.” She cooed to him softly and Din could’ve sworn his heart skipped more than one beat.

Before the crash they’d had a conversation about having children. He knew Iella wanted them and he’d been on his way to wanting it to. His desire to start a family with her had grown exponentially after he’d lost her as he thought of what he would never have.

If he was ever going to have a child it would be with Iella and as soon as he thought she’d been gone forever, he knew he would never get the chance to be a father. He didn’t want it with anyone else.

Now he had her back and he still had that lingering desire to have a family with her. Watching her with the child just increased that desire to heights he didn’t even know existed.

Together, the three of them walked through the woods to get to the center of town. Iella walked significantly slower than usual, keeping her eye on the child who was struggling to make his way over upturned roots in the ground.

“Hey, slow down. He can’t keep up.” She called out to Din who was leading them.

He turned on his heel and that painful longing in his chest tightened even more, leaving him breathless. He was seeing the Iella he knew and he hated that she had no idea she was truly being herself. 

She was always so considerate. She had the biggest heart and she was one of the kindest people he’d ever encountered in his life. He so desperately wanted her to remember. He so badly wanted to be the one she loved again. 

He slowed his pace and the small, shy smile Iella gave him as they caught up to him left him breathless.

Once the huts came into view, Iella stiffened and the smile on her face was nowhere to be seen. Her heart started to beat faster at the idea of being around others, people she didn’t know. Din noticed her change in attitude and his hand instinctively reached out to comfort her, but he stopped himself before he could touch her.

He didn’t want to scare her off and he let his hand fall back at his side.

“It’s ok. It’s a small planet, low foot traffic. You’ll be fine.” He assured her.

Iella looked over at him, desperately wishing he wasn’t wearing his helmet so she could see his brown eyes, see the emotions that swirled within them that made her feel so unusually calm and giddy at the same time.

She nodded slightly, taking his word for it, and together, they walked into the small hut. 

Iella’s wide eyes looked at the people around her, watching as they laughed with each other, sat with each other, like regular people did. She never got to have this, not that she remembered. On jobs she had to be vigilant, her mind focused solely on work, on her kills.

She felt jealous of those people she saw. She wished she could have the life they had.

They arrived at a free table and she looked shocked as Din pulled a chair out for her to sit. The gesture was small, but it made butterflies flutter within her. She sat at the chair and smiled at the child as Din lifted him to his seat beside her.

“Welcome travelers, what can I get you?” A woman said as she approached the table. Iella eyed her cautiously, her eyes reflexively scanning over the woman, checking for hidden weapons.

“Bone broth for the little one.” Din answered and turned to her. “You want anything?” 

She just shook her head wordlessly, feeling uncomfortable in the woman’s presence, no matter how harmless she seemed to be. Iella let her eyes travel around the room once again, scanning for any sign of unrest, any sign of violence or someone coming after her.

The woman soon left, leaving an awkward silence as Iella shifted in her seat, feeling nervous being around so many people.

“Hey,” Din called out, catching her attention. “It’s alright. No one’s gonna hurt you. There’s not a lot of business on this planet, there’s no one here that knows you.” He assured her and she nodded slowly, bowing her head in embarrassment for her paranoia.

Din felt his heart ache as the lie slipped out. He didn’t know these people, he couldn’t guarantee that they weren’t their enemies, that they wouldn’t try to hurt them, but he needed to keep Iella calm. 

His eyes moved over to the table he’d seen the woman at when he’d walked in and he bristled when he saw it was now empty.

“Stay here with the kid.” He told Iella as he stood from the table and began to make his way out of the hut. If that woman was after him and the child, or even after Iella, he was going to deal with her out of sight. He didn’t want to spook his wife, not now when she was already so fragile.

Iella sputtered, trying to find the words to beg him to stay without feeling like a complete embarrassment, but Din was already out the door before she could form any.

She sighed heavily, feeling like every gaze in the room was on her and she shrunk in her seat. A soft whimper sounded and she looked over at the child who was looking at her with wide eyes and she could’ve sworn he looked concerned for her.

Iella squeezed her eyes shut, feeling panic creep through her veins. She knew it wasn’t a good idea to be out in public. She knew it was a risk, that people would recognize her, would see her as the deadly assassin she was brainwashed to be.

She ran her hands over her face and exhaled roughly. 

_ Get it together,  _ she told herself. Wanting to compose herself before Din got back so he wouldn’t see her in this state, though she knew he already had over the last few days.

She slowly opened her eyes, trying her best to avoid the looks from the other patrons. She turned back towards the child, wanting to look at his cute face to try and ground her, but her heart dropped to her stomach when she saw that his chair was empty.

“Shit.” She hissed under her breath and stood from her chair so abruptly, it clattered to the floor, drawing the attention of everyone in the hut.

She blushed fiercely and stormed out of the bar, her heart racing. She just wanted Din.

Once she got outside, she followed the obvious footsteps he’d left in the sand. She stopped in her tracks and sighed in relief when she saw the child unharmed. She looked over at what he was looking at and her face hardened, pure anger seeping through her at the sight of an unfamiliar woman on the ground with Din, her blaster pointed at his face.

It didn’t matter that Din also had his blaster pointed at her, all she saw was the threat against him and it drove her into action. She rushed forward and kicked the blaster out of the woman’s hands, causing her to cry out in surprise.

Iella kicked her side, making her turn on back. She quickly straddled her and wrapped her hands around the woman’s throat.

“El, stop! El!” Din yelled and quickly brushed off his shock, stumbling to his feet and rushing forward. He wrapped his arms around Iella’s waist and pulled her off of the woman. “It’s ok, I’m fine. It was just a misunderstanding.” He told her, still holding onto her tightly.

He could feel her practically vibrating with anger. Her chest was heaving and her wide eyes were locked onto the woman on the ground who was looking up at her with shock.

“It’s ok.” He whispered to her. She nodded and her tense body slowly relaxed, causing Din to let go of her. “You good?”

She nodded again, her eyes casting down to the ground in shame. She brushed the hair out of her face and breathed deeply, trying her best to calm herself down.

“I’m sorry.” She breathed out, her eyes hesitantly moving to meet the woman who was looking back at her in surprise. The woman scoffed in amusement and got to her feet. 

“It’s fine.” She responded, his eyes roaming over Iella curiously before letting out a laugh and shaking her head slightly, like she thought the whole thing was funny.

“C’mon.” Din said, urging her forward to follow the woman back into the hut.

They made it back to the table and Iella felt dizzy from the whirlwind anger she’d felt that had dissipated the second Din’s arms were around her. She didn’t understand it and it left her more than confused.

“I’m Cara.” The woman said, her confidence oozing out of her easily. 

Iella hesitated. She didn’t have a name, she didn’t think, until yesterday. Did she use it? Was it hers now?

“I-Iella.” She offered quietly, a strange sense of pride overcoming her as she used her name for the first time.

Din looked over at her, his eyes wide as she spoke her name. He hadn’t expected that and it delighted him to hear it. He smiled widely under his helmet, allowing himself a second of relief before he steeled his expression again and cleared his throat, forcing himself to focus on the new woman in front of him.

“You’re from the rebellion.” He said, noticing her tattoos.

“Saw most of my action mopping up after Endor. Mostly ex-Imperial warlords.” 

Iella stiffened at her words. She tried her best to hide her fear, to not let her face crumble, but she knew Din noticed by how he shifted in his seat beside her. 

Voros was an ex-imperial warlord. Cara might know him, might know her, at least the version of her Voros had created. Her throat went dry at the thought of this woman turning her in, bringing her back to Voros kicking and screaming.

The thought left a chill down her spine. She droned out the rest of Cara’s words as she pictured herself back at the compound, strapped to that machine. 

“Look, I knew you were Guild. I figured you had a fob on me, that’s why I came at you so hard.” She explained, bringing Iella’s attention back to her.

“That’s what I figured.” Din said cooly, not wanting to admit that he’d come after her so she wouldn’t be a threat to his wife.

Cara didn’t need to know that. 

“Well, this was fun. But unless you wanna go another round, one of us is gonna have to move on, and I was here first.” She said with a sarcastic smile, standing from her chair. She turned to Iella, her smile growing. “I definitely wouldn’t oppose if you wanted more than another round.” She winked at her, leaving Iella to gape at her with wide eyes as she sauntered off.

“Was she… hmm.” She hummed, a small smile forming at the realization that Cara had been flirting with her. 

Din tensed, his gaze followed Cara away from their table. He was used to people flirting with his wife, it drove him mad, but he knew he had nothing to worry about. Iella had assured him of that time and time again.

But now that she wasn’t exactly herself, now that she didn’t remember him or how much they cared for each other, he couldn’t deny the strike of fear he felt that she would feel desire towards the shocktrooper over him.

“Guess this planet’s taken. We should go.” He said quickly, his jealousy riddled mind wanting her off this planet and away from Cara quickly.

Iella was confused more than anything, but she couldn’t deny the small sliver of amusement she felt at Din’s haste. She knew exactly how he felt about Cara’s proposition for her and didn’t know if it made her a bad person to find it funny.

~~~

Iella didn’t know how she ended up in this position. Being propositioned by two farmers which led to her, her husband she didn’t remember, a green child with powers, and a flirtatious shocktrooper who could be her worst nightmare, on their way to some village to help them with raiders. 

Her life wasn’t going how she expected.

Iella had barely slept the entire ride. Her eyes were glued to the shocktrooper across from her that was fast asleep. She knew the woman was a fighter, that she valiantly hated the Empire. If she knew of Iella’s ties to Voros, she could send her back to her hell.

Beside her, Din stirred, letting out a small groan as he stretched his sore muscles. 

“Hey,” He called out to her quietly and he immediately noticed the ashen expression on her face and the dark circles under her eyes. He sighed heavily. “Did you sleep at all?”

“A little.” 

Din eyed her carefully, his gaze following hers to Cara who was still thankfully fast asleep.

“She’s not after you.”

“No, just the ex-Imperial warlords. The man I worked for.” She said bitterly.

“Against your will. You’re not one of them. You’re not the bad guy here.” Din explained to her, desperately hoping she could understand.

“I was the bad guy. For a year, I killed people.” Iella told him, her voice sounding weak and regretful.

“El, you had no control over that.”

“When the numbers are that high, do you really think people are gonna care whether or not I was in my right mind?” She countered and Din swallowed thickly at the thought of the number of people who had died at her hand.

He had tried not to think of it before, but now he couldn’t ignore it. She had a long list of kills, mostly innocent people he was guessing. He knew what the Empire did, who they targeted. It made him feel sick to think of her doing that, especially because he knew she would hate herself for it.

He longed to reach out to her, to pull her into his arms, hug her tightly and never let go. He couldn’t deny himself any longer and he slowly, hesitantly reached over, placing his hand atop hers.

Iella’s eyes locked onto his hand, her breathing stuttering at the warmth his touch provided. She swallowed the lump in her throat and her wide eyed gaze lifted to meet his, well, his helmet. 

She couldn’t help but feel amazed by the way his touch made her feel. It was so foreign to her, almost unbelievable that he had the ability to make her, a cold blooded assassin with no memories, melt into herself and turn her into mush.

Din stayed quiet, he didn’t know what to say to her, he doubted he could ever make it better. He couldn’t erase what happened, the sins she’d committed.

Iella sighed heavily as she saw the village in sight. The last thing she wanted was to deal with even more people. 

“Why are we here?”

“They have lodging. We can blend in here, lay low for a few months.” Din explained and she looked over at him with a raised brow.

“You really think you can blend in with that get up?” She teased and Din felt a wave of emotion hit him as she sounded just like she did a year ago.

Every mission they’d taken when they had to use stealth, the ones that were always a little more dangerous, he insisted on going, purely to avoid letting her potentially be in danger and she’d always tease him for his inability to be stealthy and avoid attention due to his obvious armour.

Their conversation was cut short as the cart stopped in front of the crowded village, waking Cara from her sleep. She looked around in confusion for a second before she noticed the Mandalorian and the strange violet haired woman from yesterday and she relaxed. 

Immediately, children ran towards the cart, their attention stolen by the adorable green baby that happily greeted them all. 

Din made his way off the cart, his hand falling from hers, a feeling Iella missed the second he left. He turned, holding his hand out to help her off the cart, which she took hesitantly, a small, bashful smile on her face as she did.

She was soon surrounded by curious children as she stepped off the cart.

She felt awkward with the questions that were thrown at her at the same time that they were all indecipherable. She looked over at Din, hoping he could help, but he had his own swarm of children around him, all of them admiring his armour, asking him questions about the missions he’d been on and if they could use his blaster.

Iella laughed slightly. She felt a tug on her hair and looked down, her eyes meeting a young girl who was looking at her long hair with wide eyes, her hands gently holding the violet strands.

“Your hair is pretty.” The young girl said shyly and Iella smiled.

“Thank you. I like your braid.” She responded, feeling out of her element. The girl smiled widely at the compliment.

“My mommy did it. She could put a braid in your hair too.” She eagerly told her and Iella’s smile widened.

“I would love that.” 

“El, c’mon.” Din called out, motioning for her to follow him. She nodded and turned back to the child, giving her one last smile before parting and walking towards Din. He smiled under his helmet, his heart racing wildly at the sight of Iella and the young girl.

Iella smiled shyly, feeling Din’s gaze on her as they walked towards where the farmers who found them guided them to. 

Her breath suddenly constricted in her throat as she followed Din into the hut. Her heart started to race inside her chest as she looked at the one bed across the room. She tensed even further as she noticed the unfamiliar woman in the room who smiled shyly at them.

Din stood slightly in front of her, blocking her view, knowing she would be on edge by her presence.

“Hello, please come in.” She said brightly to them. “I hope this is comfortable for you two.”

“This will do fine.” Din answered and Iella felt as though her throat was constricting in on itself. She wrung her hands nervously at the thought of sharing a bed with him, this man she didn’t know but supposedly loved.

“I stacked some blankets over here. If you need anything just let me know.” 

“Thank you, that’s very kind.” 

Iella cleared her throat, trying her best to move past her nerves that felt debilitating, to the point where she found it hard to breathe.

“Can I - is there… is there somewhere - another hut for me to stay?” She stammered nervously.

She noticed Din’s head snap over towards her but she kept her gaze forward, avoiding his stare that was piercing even from under his helmet. She didn’t want to hurt his feelings, she saw how hesitant he was around her, how he would sigh heavily, like he was so relieved everytime she looked up at him or allowed him to touch her briefly.

But this was all too much too fast for her. She wasn’t ready for this yet.

“Oh, of course.” The woman said. “I’m sorry, I just assumed that you two were together.”

“We … we are. It’s, uhmm, it’s just… complicated.” Iella answered, squeezing her hands into fists when she began to feel them trembling.

Din couldn’t deny that he felt like his heart had broken into two when he heard her ask for a separate space, but he understood. No matter how much it hurt him to know that she wasn’t totally comfortable around him yet, he had to respect what she wanted at such a hard time in her life.

But hearing her say they were together gave him hope. It had his chest tightening and he had to force himself to calm his breathing before he completely broke down.

“There’s a spare hut just across here. I’ll make sure to bring you some sheets.”

“Thank you.” Iella said quietly, giving the woman a weak smile as she left. 

She breathed deeply and slowly turned to face Din, gazing up at him hesitantly. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“You don’t have to apologize. I get it.” He interrupted her. 

Iella bit her lip, she could tell by the sound of his voice how much she had hurt him and how hard he tried to not show it. 

“I just thought it would be good for me to have some time for myself, figure things out. Maybe I’ll remember a few things. I dunno, I just thought-”

“Hey, really, you don’t have to explain yourself. I get it, this is a lot for you. You do what you need to do.” Din interrupted her again and she looked back at him, still slightly disbelieving before nodding slowly.

“Thank you.” She whispered, feeling her emotions beginning to bubble to the surface. She began to walk out of the hut when she heard a shrill whine. Turning on her heel, she saw the child looking up at her sadly, tilting his head in question.

“Sorry, little one, I gotta go. You’ll be safe here.” She told him softly, kneeling down to give his head a gentle stroke with her finger, earning her a soft coo in response that made her stomach twist.

She smiled sadly and stood, moving to leave again.

“Iella,” Din called out, stopping her and making her heart race at the sound of her name.

She wondered when that would stop happening, when it would finally feel right to hear that name being used. 

“If you need anything, you find me, ok? I don’t care what time it is, I don’t care what’s going on. You come to me if you need to.” 

Iella couldn’t help the smile from slowly growing on her face and she nodded. It still amazed her what he could make her feel with just his words.

“I will.” 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your comments! xx  
> Little bit of smut in this chapter, hope you enjoy!

Din’s heart was racing as he approached her hut. The door was closed, signalling that she wanted privacy, that she most likely wanted to be alone. But that sliver of light he saw under the crack of the door, the one that signalled she was awake was enough of a pull for him to approach.

Not having her by his side constantly after a year of separation, of thinking she was dead, was killing him. 

He knocked on the door and immediately dropped his hand, cursing himself for how forceful it sounded, how it probably scared her. 

He paced the length of the doorway, the few seconds of silence behind the door agonizing, until it finally opened a crack, only allowing him to see half her face peaking through.

The hesitant expression on her face shifted to one of relief and she opened the door wider for him, stepping back to allow him to enter her room.

He swallowed thickly, ignoring the heavy pounding in his chest at her actions, at her seemingly comfortable reaction to him. 

“Are you ok?” She asked, slightly confused as to why he was there in her hut.

“I’m fine, I just wanted to make sure you got settled in ok.” He answered slightly awkwardly.

There was a moment of silence between them, neither one of them knowing what to say to the other. Din had a long list of things he wanted to say, but couldn’t in fear of scaring her away. 

“I talked to Cara, we’re going to head out tomorrow, take a look around the village for the threat.” Din explained and she nodded, shifting on her feet anxiously at the thought of a potential fight. “I think it’s best if you stay here.”

Iella’s face turned down into a frown and Din could’ve sworn it caused his heart to crack. He hated having to be the one to make her look like  _ that _ .

“W-what do you mean? You don’t want me to-”

“No! No, that’s not it!” He interjected quickly and quite forcefully, making her flinch. He sighed deeply and shook his head. “We don’t know Cara, we can’t trust her yet. I think it’s better if you keep your distance from her for awhile, at least until we know she isn’t actively seeking out Imps to destroy.”

Iella winced slightly at his words. 

_ Imps _

She was technically an Imp. She was one of them, the enemy. 

“Right.” She muttered, crossing her arms over herself protectively. 

Din felt at a loss as to what he could say, how to comfort her when she clearly needed it but looked at him like a stranger. 

“I’m sorry.” He said dumbly, rolling his eyes at himself from behind his helmet.

“Don’t be. I get it.” She told him, echoing his earlier words when she decided to separate and get her own hut, away from him.

Din nodded and stood unmoving for a moment before realizing that she’d gotten a separate hut for a reason, to be alone. He cleared his throat, mumbling a quick ‘goodnight’ and made his way to the door.

“Be safe tomorrow.” She called out, stopping him in his tracks. He turned to face her, his heart racing within his chest, a wonderful warmth blossoming inside of him, one that had been absent since he lost her.

“I will.” He promised her and he couldn’t help but feel so emotional at how familiar this felt, how she would always say those words to him before seeking out a bounty, how she was herself when she said those words.

He couldn’t help but feel hopeful.

~~~

_ Din was in awe as he stared up at her, every inch of her bare skin glowing under the soft candlelight. They’d only been married a few days and he could already tell that he would never tire of this. _

_ Seeing her in these moments without the restrictions of his helmet or a blindfold covering half her face would never cease to amaze him.  _

_ “You think you can handle one more?” She teased him as she crawled forward to sit atop his lap, his arms immediately wrapping her waist, holding her close. _

_ Din smirked, his hands gently tracing patterns up and down the curve of her hip, making her shiver in response.  _

_ “Can you?” He teased back, his eyes turning dark with desire as she bit her lip to hide her smile. _

_ His smug smile dropped, his lips parting with a low groan as she deftly grabbed his hard length and took him inside of her, sliding down his entire length until her hips cradled against his. His hands anchored to her hips, holding her tightly.  _

_ He couldn’t stop the noises escaping his mouth, the breathless groans, the soft pleas for her to go faster. She never failed to render him weak in the knees.  _

_ His heart raced as he watched her on top of him. The way her face twisted in pleasure, the cries of his name, her breasts that bounced with each roll of her hips, it all sent him reeling to a frenzied desire only she could cause. _

_ His eyes stayed glued to hers, even as his vision became hazy and the struggle to let his eyes fall close in bliss became too much. He fought through it, needing to see her, truly see her, now that they were married. _

_ “Din!” She gasped breathlessly, letting her head fall back in ecstasy.  _

The mandalorian gasped as he jerked awake. He sat up abruptly, instinctively reaching for his blaster, but when he soon realized there was no danger, that it was just him and the baby still sleeping in his closed cradle, he calmed down.

He lay back in bed, his hands clenched into fists as he fought hard to ignore his desire, his throbbing member that ached for release. 

Her voice echoed in his mind as the remnants of his dream rushed through his mind, as if just to torture him. He missed her, he missed laying with her, making love to her. 

He tried hard to focus on something else, to force his mind away from her, in that state, so eager, so willing, so ready for him.

_ Fuck, stop,  _ he thought to himself. It wasn’t right, he reminded himself. She wasn’t in her right mind, he couldn’t be having these thoughts about her, not now while she was suffering. 

He looked around the quiet room, noting how it was barely light outside, the sun having only just risen.

His chest heaved with each of his breaths as he fought a war in his mind, going back and forth in his decision to let himself feel pleasure he hadn’t allowed himself to feel in so long. 

His eyes fell closed and in the darkness he saw her, he saw her perfect bare body above him, her eyes full of want. It drove him mad. 

He reached down slowly, undoing his pants with trembling fingers. He pulled out his hard cock, moaning softly at the first tentative grip. He bit his lip, keeping his eyes closed to keep her image clear in his mind as he began to slowly stroke himself.

His breathing became heavier, soft pants escaping him as his hand moved up and down rhythmically. He let out a low curse, his hips lifting off the bed slightly as he quickened his pace. Images of her ran through his mind, making him groan softly, his peak coming faster than he expected. 

_ Fuck, Din, just like that _

Her voice echoed in his mind, driving him into a frenzy. The thought of her in the throes of ecstasy, the way she took him in, the way she felt around him while she came, the memory just about did him in. Fuck, he missed her, he wished it was her hand on him. He wanted her so badly. 

“El…  _ fuck _ .” He moaned quietly, his body buzzing with pleasure.

His chest was heaving and his back arched slightly as he began to approach his release. His hand rapidly jerked up and down, the memory of her fueling him. 

It happened quickly, his helmeted head thrown back, his body going rigid as a punched out groan of her name fell from his lips as he came hard. 

“Fuck.” He muttered under his breath, his breathing uneven as his body unclenched, feeling boneless from the well-needed release. 

He hadn’t often allowed him a moment of weakness to take care of his desires. He found it hard to think about it when he had lost Iella. His grief outweighed every other feeling, including his sex drive. He laid in bed, his mind racing in the silence that surrounded him. 

The thought of her had a sense of calm falling over him, one that was soon overshadowed by grief, a kind that was thankfully different from the one he was used to feeling this past year.

It was a kind of grief that played with his mind. Rather than the sick feeling of knowing she was dead, this kind of grief was one that left him longing to have her in his arms, of having her so close to him but so far away. 

It was becoming unbearable. 

With a heavy sigh, he finally got out of bed. He cleaned himself up quickly, strapping his beskar armour on as waves of guilt hit him for his actions. He felt like an asshole, getting off to the thought of her when she was in such a tortured state of mind. 

It felt wrong to use her memories when she didn’t even have them. 

~~~

Din was tense as he made his way through the forest of Sorgan, Cara at his side. She kept stealing glances over at him, trying to figure him out through all the beskar that kept him a mystery. 

“So what’s the deal with you and Iella”? She suddenly asked, making his head whip around to look at her, taken aback by her question.

“What?” 

“You two are together, I’m assuming, but I don’t know many couples that sleep in separate rooms.” 

Din’s throat tightened and he forced himself to look away from Cara, even though she couldn’t see the twisted expression on his face. 

“We’re together.” He said simply.

“Yeah? Is that why you barely even looked at her this morning?” Cara teased with a smirk.

Din clenched his jaw. It was stupid, it was childish. He felt so guilty, like he defiled her that morning, he could barely get a word out to her when those innocent eyes were looking at him. To see her look so vulnerable was like a knife to the heart.

He knew leaving her that morning like he did, so abruptly, with barely a word, would come back to haunt him. 

“Hey, I’m just kidding, no need to get so tense.” Cara said, raising her hands in defense when she saw just how rigid the Mandalorian beside her was. “I’m just asking in case she’s available.”

Din spun on his heel, his helmet covered gaze whipping around to face her. His heart stuttered and he was lucky Cara couldn’t see the scowl on his face or how his eyes widened in fear at her insinuation. 

Cara snorted out a laugh and shook her head. “Kidding again… kind of.” 

Din’s heart was still racing as they continued to walk in tandem through the forest. 

“We’re together.” 

“Well, I’m no relationship expert, but you better fix whatever you did and get your girl back in your good graces before someone snatches her up.” Cara joked, though she had no idea just how much gravity her words held for the Mandalorian. 

Din’s footsteps slowed slightly, causing Cara to walk ahead. 

“I’m trying.” He muttered to himself. 

They walked in silence for a few more minutes, Din finally getting back in the headspace he was supposed to be in as he used the sensors in his helmet to track footprints.

“About 15 or 20 of them came through here.” He announced and looked up at the destroyed trees in front of them. “And something big sheared off those branches.” 

They continued to walk, following the footprints, until they came across another one, an enormous footprint that caused both of them to tense at the sight.

“AT-ST.” Cara murmured, her tone laced with derision. 

“Imperial walker. What’s it doing here?” Din asked aloud, dread forming a pit in his stomach. If there were creatures on this planet with Imperial ties, they could recognize Iella, or at least know Voros, the man that ruined her life. 

It made his stomach twist uncomfortably to think of the possibilities. 

~~~

Back in the village, Iella was watching fondly from the small porch of her hut as the baby played with the children who were thrilled by his presence. She didn’t know what it was about the strange green baby, but ever since he’d touched her, made that wave of calmness wash over her, she found herself unwilling to stray too far from him. 

“Morning!” A cheery voice called out, making her jump and instinctively reach down to the knife at her belt.

Omera startled at her reaction and took a cautious step back from her. “I’m sorry.”

“No, no, it’s ok, you just caught me off guard.” Iella rushed out, quickly moving the hem of her oversized shirt, that was actually Din’s since she had no clothes, over her waistband to hide the weapon. 

“I just came to give you some breakfast.” Omera offered, placing the tray she was holding down in between them.

“Oh, thank you.” Iella smiled shyly, feeling slightly uneasy by her kindness. It wasn’t something she was used to, at least not in how she knew her life to be lately. Well, except with Din.

“You didn’t go with your… partner?” 

Iella shifted where she sat, the mention of him making her nervous, but a good nervous. A nervous that wasn’t life threatening, it was… nice. 

“No, I thought I should stay here, keep an eye on the child.” She lied swiftly, quickly dodging her clear question about who he was to her. 

Omera smiled, looking out to the group of children that were enthralled with the little green baby. “He’s certainly caused a lot of entertainment here.” 

Iella was unable to keep the smile off her face as she watched them all play. “Thank you, by the way, for letting us stay here.”

“Of course. I’m just glad we finally found people like you to help. We’ve been struggling for a long time.” 

Iella stayed silent, feeling like she was floundering for words. She didn’t know what to say, did she comfort her? Did she offer condolences? She felt downright uncomfortable. 

Thankfully, she didn’t have long to dwell on it when she noticed Din and Cara stomping back into the village. She got to her feet quickly to greet them, an uneasy feeling inside her, one that needed to make sure he was ok. 

She brushed past it and the implications it had, not having the energy to deal with her whirlwind of confusing emotions towards the Mandalorian.

“Is everything ok?” She asked him. He didn’t respond, his helmeted gaze instead, roaming up and down the length of her body, but not in a way that made her feel violated. 

He stood still and she looked down, following his gaze. She suddenly blushed and she fisted the shirt she wore and forced a bashful, weak smile. He caught her red handed wearing his clothes. 

“Sorry, I hope you don’t mind. I didn’t have anything else and I-”

“It’s fine.” He choked out, trying his best to move past the emotion that swelled within him at the sight of her in his clothes, just like old times. 

She’d had a habit of stealing his shirts. A habit he could never get mad at.

“Come on, Lovebirds, we got news to share.” Cara said with a playful roll of her eyes as she moved past them to take center stage in front of the crowd that had formed, waiting to hear their fate.

Din, acting on reflex, placed his hand on the small of Iella’s back as he guided her up the porch of his hut. She forced herself not to react, not to show just how much that small action stirred things inside of her, things she’d never felt before, at least, not that she remembered.

“Bad news, you can’t live here anymore.” Din spoke abruptly.

That certainly got Iella out of her daze and her eyes narrowed questioningly at the Mandalorian and then moved to the crowd in front of her as they started to all simultaneously argue back in disbelief.

“Nice bedside manner.” Cara mumbled to him. 

“You think you can do better?” 

“Can’t do much worse.” She said smugly and moved forward to address the worried crowd of villagers. “I know this isn’t the news you wanted to hear, but there are no other options.”

“You took the job.” One of the villagers argued.

“That was before we knew about the AT-ST.”

Iella blanched, her body going rigid at Cara’s words. She turned her head, finding Din already looking at her. She wished he had his helmet off, she wished she could see his face, know what he was thinking, if he was worried. She certainly was.

“We can’t fight that thing, there’s only three of us.” Cara argued, gesturing to the couple beside her who were still gazing at each other worriedly.

“No there’s not, there’s at least twenty here.” 

“I mean fighters.” Cara stressed. “I’ve seen that thing take out entire companies of soldiers in a matter of minutes.” 

Din sighed, wishing he could reach out to his wife, wishing he could wipe that scared look off her face. They needed to take down that walker. He wanted to take down every single Imperial that walked the face of the galaxy. For her, he would do it.

“We’re not leaving.” Omera told them simply, her voice holding a courage none of them had heard from her before.

“You cannot fight that thing.”

Din was already forming a plan. It was iffy, but it was all he had, all he could do to keep the village safe, to get rid of a potential threat to his wife. 

“Unless we show them how.” 

~~~

Iella watched in fascination as the training continued. Din was teaching those who were comfortable enough with blasters to shoot while Cara manned the others who would be using homemade spears. 

Din had suggested she stick to construction and not try her hand at training. She’d been a deadly assassin for over a year and her methods were tortuous and cold blooded. It was best for all of them that she not reveal that part of her to the innocent farmers. 

She had to admit, it struck a pain inside her she hadn’t expected when he’d told her, but she couldn’t disagree. 

She stretched her back, wincing as her sore muscles pulled uncomfortably. She wiped her sweaty forehead and pulled her tangled, lavender locks up into a messy bun before grabbing the large hammer once again and continued making barricades. 

It had been a long, grueling couple of days as they prepared for battle. Her hammering slowed, her focus wavering as her eyes once again drifted towards the Mandalorian. They hadn’t spoken much, barely at all, in the past few days. 

She wondered if something had happened, if he’d finally gotten tired of dealing with her baggage, that he’d finally realized she wasn’t worth all this work and he should just move on. 

She wondered if she had done something to cause the final straw to break. 

“Hey” 

She looked up, smiling politely, though it was weak, as Cara approached her. 

“The barricades are coming along well.” 

Iella just nodded. She wasn’t as intimidated by Cara, not like she had been the first day they’d met. It was obvious Cara had no love lost for Imperials, but it was also obvious she didn’t suspect anything, she had no idea of Iella’s ties. 

“Holy shit! Are you ok?” Cara yelled suddenly, her eyes locked onto the scabbed over gash on the woman’s neck.

Iella’s eyes widened and she quickly covered the wound from where the shock device had been implanted, the one she and Din had carved out of her. 

“I’m fine.” She waved off the shocktrooper, blanking on an acceptable lie to use.

Cara tensed, her face turning hard as stone as she spared a look over her shoulder at the Mandalorian before turning back to face her. She leaned in and lowered her voice. “Are you ok? If you need help, I can find a way to take you off this planet right now.” 

Iella was stunned for a moment, her mouth opening and closing with no words leaving her. 

“W-what- no! It’s not- he’s not… it’s nothing like that, I swear.” She stammered.

Cara eyed her curiously, hesitating slightly before her cold scowl finally lifted and she sighed. 

“Sorry, if I overstepped.”

“No, it’s fine. You were just worried, can’t fault you for that.” 

She got back to hammering, finishing the last of the barricades. She heaved the structure upwards, pushing it into the ground to keep it steady. She could feel the shocktrooper’s eyes on her the entire time and she turned to face the woman, seeing her eyeing her curiously.

“What? Gonna keep flirting?” Iella teased, making Cara bark out a laugh in surprise of her humour.

“So you caught on to that, huh?” 

“You aren’t exactly subtle.”

“I don’t make you uncomfortable, do I?”

Iella paused. She wasn’t put off by Cara’s flirtatious remarks, she was just terrified about what the fighter would do to her if she ever found out about her ventures in the past year. 

“No.” She finally answered honestly. 

Cara continued to watch her, trying to understand her more, which she discovered a hard feat. She and her Mandalorian were elusive to say the least.

“You don’t talk much, do you?” 

Iella shrugged. “I guess not.” 

“That something you picked up from your Mando buddy?” 

Iella’s mind went blank. Was it or had she always been a quiet, reserved person, or was it due to her newly discovered identity she had no trace of that made her so closed off to others? 

She looked back at the Mandalorian, as if he would give her the answers she needed, even from across the krill ponds. She tensed, her brows furrowing when she saw only him and Omera together, the two of them engaged in a conversation. 

Cara, seeing the forlorn expression on Iella’s face, looked over her shoulder to see what had captured her attention. She narrowed her eyes in confusion and looked back at the woman in front of her.

“You two are together, right?” 

“Uhh, yeah, I think we are.” Iella answered quietly.

“You think?” Cara retorted, looking confused before letting out a slight scoff. “Damn, that man needs to do some serious damage control.” 

Iella stayed silent, not knowing how to respond. She didn’t know how to tell Cara that it was nothing Din had done to cause them to be so distant, she didn’t know how to tell the woman of her seeming resurrection and twisted identity crisis she was going through.

“Tell you what, after this is over, I’ll hold him down, you just start swinging. That’ll teach him a lesson.” The shocktrooper offered sarcastically. 

Iella laughed, a genuine laugh that surprised her and Cara who had never seen her so much as smile with teeth before now. 

“I might just take that deal.” Iella joked. 

The two women finished the final touches that needed to be made for the battle. Night was approaching fast and it was soon time for Cara and Din to make their way to lure the raiders and the AT-ST into their trap. 

Iella was looking for the baby, wanting to make sure he and the children were somewhere safe, away from the fighting. 

She was searching past the huts and she abruptly stopped in her tracks when she saw Din and Omera in the doorway of his hut. Had they just come out together? Why had she been in there with him?

Din, sensing eyes on him, looked up, his posture standing straighter when he saw Iella. His heart dropped to his stomach when he saw the hurt in her eyes as they flickered to Omera and back to him.

He knew what it looked like and it killed him that she could even think that he would do that. Although, she wasn’t exactly aware of how much he loved her, how they were devoted to each other and solely to each other. 

“Hi.” He breathed out, a nervousness that was so foreign washing over him. 

“I think Cara’s looking for you, she’s ready to leave.” 

Din nodded, swiftly making his way down the stairs to meet her without a glance back at Omera. 

“Are you sure you’re up for this?” He asked, keeping his voice low in case there were any passing villagers.

Iella hardened her expression and nodded. “It was kind of my job for the past year. I’ll be fine.”

He grimaced under his helmet, her words giving him no sense of comfort. He sighed heavily, unable to move his mind off the current dilemma.

“El, Omera and I were just talking, there’s nothing-”

“It’s fine.” Iella interrupted him. “She’s a nice woman.” She said elusively and walked past him before he could get another word out.

Din stood rooted to his spot, his mouth agape as he watched her walk away. Did she really think Omera was the better choice for him? That he would rather be with the widow than with her?

A ragged sigh escaped him and he hung his head lowly. As soon as this battle was over, he had some serious work to do. 

He needed to get her back.

~~~

Omera tightened her hands into fists to keep them from trembling. She spared another look at the woman beside her, feeling even more confused as she saw Iella’s stern scowl, a fire in her eyes she’d never seen before.

Since the Mandalorian and his partner had come to Sorgan, she’d only ever known Iella as a quiet, introverted, gentle woman. She’d seen her with the kids, with the baby, and Omera never would’ve imagined Iella in this state.

To Iella, this was the first time in over a week she’d been in her comfort zone. This was what she knew. This anticipation to fight, the need to spill blood, to swing her mighty weapons, it was all she knew about herself, all she knew how to do.

Iella tensed suddenly, her grip on her blaster tightening. She heard the faint sound of thundering footsteps, the dull pop of a blaster shooting. 

“They’re coming! Everyone get ready.” Iella called out to the villagers around her. 

She perked up, relief washing over her when she saw Din and Cara breaking through the tree line, sprinting towards them and hauling themselves over the barricades.

“This is it! Once that thing steps into the pond, it’s going down.” 

Everyone held their breath as the rumbling footsteps of the enormous machine drew closer. Trees cracked under its weight, falling to the forest floor and soon, glowing red eyes were seen on the horizon, making everyone tense simultaneously as the reality of what they were facing hit them.

Iella could tell the people around her were scared, but she offered no words of comfort. Her attention was focused solely on the machine that stepped towards them. 

But it suddenly stopped, a mechanical foot in the air just a step away from their trap before taking a step back, their plan foiled.

“It stopped.” 

Barely a second later, the AT-ST started firing, rapid blaster shots aiming at the barricades. 

“Get down!” Din yelled, pulling down an elderly villager beside him. 

Iella flinched, quickly dodging a close blaster shot. Her heart was racing, a familiar and strangely thrilling surge of adrenaline rushing through her. She heard the war cries of the raiders approaching, making her grit her teeth as she prepared herself for bloodshed.

“Open fire!” Cara yelled and they all raised their blasters, firing at the  Klatooinian Raiders. 

It was as if Iella was in her own world. She fired shot after shot with deadly accuracy, watching with satisfaction as raider after raider fell by her hand. 

She was in her element. The thrill of the kill was something Voros had instilled in her and she was doing it perfectly, just as her master taught her.

As more raiders approached, breaching their barricades and invading the village, it was time to switch to hand to hand combat, Iella’s specialty. 

She ran forward, throwing the blaster to the side and she unsheathed the two large knives at her belt. With one in each hand it was easy to take down the Klatooinians, each swipe of her hand, slicing them down swiftly.

She moved on her feet like a cat, never slowing down as she mowed down every raider that crossed her path. 

The fighting soon slowed down, but she didn’t. Even when the AT-ST crashed into the water and cheers erupted around her, Iella kept fighting, kept killing. 

The raiders began their retreat, but she wasn’t willing to let them off so easy. With a mighty war cry she launched herself forward, swinging her legs out to knock a raider to the ground. She slipped over him, straddling him as she brought her knife down into his chest. 

Before the raider could even take his last breath, she was off, jumping on the back of one and slamming both knives down into his skull, making him fall. 

_ Who are you? _

_ No one _

_ Who do you belong to? _

_ You, Master _

_ What is your job? _

_ To kill _

The words echoed in her head on a loop. 

This was her, this ruthless killer was who she was. 

With a growl of exertion she threw her knife, hitting the last retreating raider in the back, making him fall to the ground motionless. 

She breathed heavily, wiping the blood that splattered across her face. When she realized the fight was over, she realized just how quiet it was.

She turned to face the village and her stomach flipped anxiously when she saw all eyes on her. Every single villager who had been out fighting was staring at her in shock, their eyes wide with uncertainty and fear. 

She took a small step forward but stopped immediately when she saw a man pull his wife back, shielding her body with his as he eyed her with caution. 

They were scared of her. 

Iella’s eyes met Omera’s who quickly looked away to hide to fear on her face. Everyone was looking at her with either fear or disgust, like  _ she  _ was the enemy.

_ You are _ , she quickly reminded herself. 

She felt her heart beginning to race, her hands beginning to shake as panic surged within her. The need to escape was threatening to bring her to her knees. Her eyes caught Din as he slowly walked towards her, his hesitation a punch to the gut.

He was scared of her too.

“El,” He called out softly.

That name. That damn name. She would never be the woman Din wanted her to be, or thought she was, she couldn’t, not after what she’d just done, what she’d been trained to do. She looked down, her breathing stuttering as she saw her shaking hands stained red with blood. 

She didn’t belong here, with them. 

Without another look towards the others, towards Din, or Cara who looked stunned by her actions, she turned and ran, sprinting away from the village. She could hear Din scream out her name, but she kept running, needing to be as far as possible as she could from the destruction she’d caused, from the looks of derision she’d earned. 

She didn’t know how long she ran for, how far she’d gotten, all she knew was that her lungs were burning and it hurt to keep going, but she did. 

Iella’s vision was going spotty as she hyperventilated, her hands trembling violently. Her legs felt like jelly and she only made it a few more staggering steps until she collapsed to her knees. 

She found it difficult to catch her breath, loud sobs intermingling with harsh, panting breaths.

She was a killer.

She was a monster. 

She was irredeemable. 

She hated herself. She hated who she was. 

She didn’t know what changed, what clicked inside of her mind, but she realized, she finally realized the blood on her hands and not just from tonight. She realized just how much she truly disgusted herself. She wondered if that was her old self finally breaking through.

She wondered if that old soul of hers would climb its way back into the darkness to avoid her new self. 

Loud, running footsteps caught her attention and she tensed, her hands scrambling for a weapon, before she remembered she’d dropped them, she was defenseless.

She looked up in time to see Din sprinting towards her. She bowed her head, unable to meet his gaze, even if it was hidden behind the beskar. She was amazed by what she could see just in this visored gaze. She didn’t think she could handle seeing it now. 

He landed on his knees in front of her, his hands hovering just out of reach, hesitant, but longing to touch her, to comfort her.

“El-”

“Don’t! Don’t you dare call me that.” She cried. 

“Iella, please. I’m here, just breathe.” He told her, his voice edged with panic. “It’s ok Cyare, I’m right here, but you have to calm down, you’re gonna pass out. Take a deep breath.” 

The pet name slipped out seamlessly, without him even realizing. But she heard it. 

Her pulse quickened, butterflies erupting in her stomach. She looked up at him in shock, her glistening eyes piercing through his helmet like a lightning bolt. 

“W-what did you just say?” She whispered.

“You need to breathe.” 

“No, no, no, the… other…. Cyare?” 

Din tensed and his breath caught in his throat. He hadnt meant to let it slip out, he hadn’t meant to scare her off. 

“You used to call me that.” Iella whispered hoarsely 

Din let out a shaking breath, tears welling in his eyes. His bottom lip trembled and his heart raced at the hope that she remembered, that she finally knew him again.

“I did. Y-you remember that?” He rasped.

She nodded slowly, her eyes suddenly narrowing. “What does it mean?” 

His heart shattered. As quickly as his hope grew, it was gone. 

“It-” He cleared his throat, feeling nervous about what he had to admit to her. “It means beloved.” He said, his voice cracking with emotion. 

Iella’s breathing hitched and she looked up at him, the sight of her tear filled eyes striking a pain through him. With all the courage he could muster, something that, in any other situation, would seem ridiculous to the fearless bounty hunter, he reached out, placing his atop hers, linking their fingers. 

He wished he could take his helmet off, he wished he could see her unfiltered, but he couldn’t risk a villager finding their way past them. 

“You shouldn’t be doing this.” Iella whispered. 

Din looked at her intently, fearing that he’d crossed a line. 

“You shouldn’t be trying so hard for me. I’m not worth it.” She added and Din sighed in relief that it wasn’t his hand in hers that made her uncomfortable. But dread soon followed knowing how much self hatred burned inside her. 

“You are.” 

“I’m not a good person, Din.” 

“You are. I know you, the  _ real  _ you.” He told her, his hand tightening in hers. “You’re so sweet, so gentle, so caring. You’re the light to everything dark in my life. I’m not losing you, not again.” 

“What if I’ll never be the  _ real  _ me again? What if I never remember and I’ll always be this way?”

Din’s chest tightened at the thought, it was one he tried hard not to think about, but he couldn’t ignore it any longer. He may never get his wife back, she may never love him like she used to.

The thought was deathly terrifying to him. He felt the lump in his throat grow and he blinked rapidly as his vision began to blur. 

“Then we’ll deal with it.” 

Iella scoffed. “You make it sound so easy.”

“El, look at what happened. You killed those raiders and you ran because you felt bad. I doubt you had that reaction every job you’d taken this past year. You’re already different from the person you were on Arvala-7.”

Iella winced as she thought back to her ambush on him to get the child. It made her skin crawl to think of what could have happened, how wrong it could have gone.

“See, you feel bad. You’re already miles ahead of who you were then. You’re changing. You don’t like to hurt people, I know that, I can see that.”

Iella let out a shaking breath and wiped the tears from her cheeks. Her breathing had finally calmed and she no longer felt on the brink of panicking.

Din tensed slightly, contemplating his next move carefully, before finally deciding to go for it. The need to comfort her outweighed everything else. He shifted closer to her, slowly wrapping his arm around her, keeping his hold loose so as to not scare her off. 

Iella tried her hardest not to show just how much his closeness affected her. She hoped he couldn’t hear how fast her heart was beating. As if acting on instinct, she leaned in closer to him, letting herself just feel the emotions he caused, pushing past every doubt she had.

She moved closer to him and leaned her head on his chest plate, a blush forming on her cheeks when she heard his sharp intake of breath. He wrapped his other arm around her, letting it rest over her shoulder.

Despite the carnage that they’d just been through, the meltdown she’d just endured, as they held each other closely they both felt more content than they had in a long time. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all are enjoying it so far! xx

A soft poke to her cheek startled her, breaking Iella from her sleep. Her bleary eyes opened slowly, feeling confused for a moment before her blurred vision cleared. She smiled softly at the green baby who stood on her pillow, his big ears perking upwards at the sight of her finally awake.

The baby let out a happy chirp, his hand pressing against her cheek again. 

“Hey, little one.” 

“He’s been trying to bug you all morning.” Din called out from across the room, starting Iella before she remembered the arrangement they’d settled on. 

When he’d brought her back to the village and walked her to her hut, it was clear she was still in a fragile state. 

Din had asked if she was sure she wanted to be alone and she’d insisted she was, not wanting to put him out with her neediness. It was only minutes later that he came crashing back into her hut, dragging his bed along with him and having to painstakingly shove it through the door frame.

Iella had stared at him in shock, his antics leaving her speechless. At her look of bewilderment, Din just shrugged innocently. 

_ “I can tell when you’re lying.”  _ Was all he said to answer her silent question.

The two of them, well, three of them, had kept up this arrangement for a few days. Iella was surprised by how comfortable she felt in his presence, how she loved to know he was there when she closed her eyes at night. 

She’d never felt safer.

Neither of them had brought up the hug they’d shared that fateful night. The both of them were too anxious to bring it up to the other.

“Omera brought some food for you.” Din told her, bringing over a tray and laying it at the foot of her bed. 

Iella smiled at him softly in thanks. She held the baby in her lap as she picked at her food, occasionally handing him a bite, unable to resist his big eyes that pleaded to her. 

“Any plans for today?”

Iella shrugged. “Same as yesterday, I guess.”

Din bit his lip nervously, looking at her curiously. She was still emotional about her violent outburst at the battle a few days ago. She hadn’t even left the hut since then, not wanting to face the villagers. 

“Are you sure? We could go for a walk, get away for a little bit.?” 

Iella’s expression shifted, her brows furrowing, her mouth turned down into a frown as she pictured those looks of fear she’d seen from the villagers. She didn’t want to see them again. 

It was clear she had no intention of showing her face. 

Din sighed audibly and Iella suddenly felt guilty. He was trying hard to be there for her, to help her, but she turned down every attempt.

“I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but I just… I can’t face them, not yet.” 

Din nodded, unable to shake that feeling of helplessness that seemed to be a constant ever since he’d found her. Hell, he’d been feeling helpless ever since the crash when he thought he’d lost her for good.

“I’ll see you later.” 

“See you.” She said softly, her weak smile falling the second door closed behind him. Looking down at the baby in her lap, who was looking up at her curiously, she felt stuck. “Guess it’s just you and me.” She mumbled.

The baby cooed, his clawed hand reached out to the food in front of him. Iella quirked her lips up in a small smile, handing him the food he so desperately wanted.

Across the village, Din met up with Cara. They were doing a sweep of the planet, making sure the raiders were gone for good. 

The duo walked in silence, one that was tense with unasked questions. Din knew Cara was curious, that she wanted answers and he was dreading the moment she became brave enough to ask.

“Looks like we’re in the clear.” Cara acknowledged, kicking the ruins of the belongings the raiders had abandoned. 

Din stayed silent as he looked around for anything that was left behind in the deserted camp. Packing up a blaster he’d found, he started to make his way back towards the village, hearing a loud sigh of annoyance behind him before Cara’s stomping footsteps rushed to keep up with him.

“So am I supposed to pretend the other night didn’t happen?” She finally asked.

“That would probably be for the best.” 

Cara rolled her eyes at his tone, like it was the obvious answer. “Well I don’t think I can. She single handedly  _ demolished  _ the entire group of raiders, by hand. That’s not something you just forget about.”

Din stayed silent, causing Cara, fed up with his blase attitude, to grab his arm, stopping him in his tracks.

“Who is she?” 

“She’s my wife.” Din spat through gritted teeth, a wave of fierce protectiveness rising within him at the notion of the woman he loved being questioned. 

“Who does she work for?”

“No one.”

“Bullshit. I worked for the rebellion, I know how they trained and the way she fought, that brutality, that wasn’t how we did it. But I know who did.” Cara argued angrily. 

She liked Iella, she really did. The few conversations she had with the quiet woman were pleasant, she enjoyed playfully flirting with her, but the possibility that she could have been with the Empire, the one firing at her across enemy lines was a dealbreaker. 

Din’s heart was racing. He knew he’d eventually have these questions to answer, but he dumbly thought he’d have time to think of an explanation, one that didn’t expose Iella completely. He just wanted to get back to her. 

He continued to walk again, but was abruptly stopped by Cara yet again, her grip tight and threatening, her scowl cold. 

“You asked me to be here. You asked me to fight with you and her. I deserve answers, everyone in that village does.”

“It’s not what you think.” Din said and he wished that could have been enough for the shocktrooper, but it clearly wasn’t by the way she just raised a brow in question, silently asking him to continue.

He exhaled loudly, his nerves rising dangerously high.

“I thought she was dead.” He admitted quietly, pushing past the emotion that always rose when he thought of that time without her.

Cara looked at him incredulously, crossing her arms over her chest.

“We were on a job, there was an accident and I thought she was gone.” He cleared his throat, forcing himself to continue. “People found her, bad people. They kept her… honestly I don’t even know what they did to her. I just know it was bad.”

“Imperials?” Cara asked quietly.

Din nodded and the shocktrooper bowed her head regretfully. 

“I found her a couple of weeks ago. She had no idea who I was, who  _ she  _ was.” 

Cara swallowed thickly, a sick feeling settling in her stomach. “They wiped her.” She surmised darkly.

Din looked at her intently. “You’ve seen this before?”

“During the war, soldiers, my  _ friends _ , they’d go missing and then I’d see them on the battlefield, on the other side, pointing their weapons at me like we’d never even known each other.”

Cara felt sick. She didn’t think she’d ever have to face that horror again, she wished it wasn’t with that quiet woman who she found quite endearing. 

“Do you know who took her?”

“Someone named Voros.” Din answered, anger brimming within him by just saying his name. “You ever heard of him?”

Cara shook her head sadly. 

Din clenched his jaw, hating that he’d met yet another brick wall in his path to save his wife. He began to walk again, wanting nothing more than to get back to the village and get back to his wife. 

“Hey,” Cara stopped him again, a fire in her eyes, one that wasn’t laced with anger and betrayal. Now it was determination. “Well, what’s next? Are we going after that son of a bitch or not?”

“We aren’t.” Din said simply, his voice harsh. 

“Why the hell not?”

“Cause I’m not letting him get his hands on my wife again! I’m not putting her in danger.” 

Cara’s eyes widened slightly at his tone. She’d never heard the bounty hunter so angry before. He always seemed cool and collected, this was the first time she saw that hard wall begin to slip.

“What if he comes after her?”

“Then I’ll kill him.” Din told her sternly and turned on his heel to start walking again.

~~

Iella was reading on a holopad, sprawled out on the bed, when yet another whine from the child broke her concentration. She sighed and looked at the green baby who was looking at her pleadingly, his ears low and his eyes wide.

“Bored, huh?”

The child whined again and she took that as a ‘yes’. 

Iella bit her lip nervously. She knew she should take him out to be with the children he loved to play with, but that would mean showing her face to them. But with those big eyes looking at her, she was unable to let him down.

“Ok, you little trouble maker, let’s go.” She got up from the bed, throwing her messy hair up and making sure her clothes were at least presentable. The child’s ear immediately perked up, an excited coo escaping him. 

He raised his little arms, reaching out for Iella to carry him. She smiled and lifted him into her arms, 

“You’re lucky you’re cute.” She mumbled. 

She walked across the room, stopping just as her hand lingered on the door. Her heart was racing and she made sure to take in deep breaths, something Din had taught her to do when she felt her panic beginning to rise. 

With her eyes squeezed shut and her chest heaving with heavy, deep breaths, she willed herself to calm down. 

“You can do this.” She whispered to herself.

She felt slightly ridiculous. Here she was, a trained assassin, squeamish to visit a group of children. But those looks of fear, the hesitance to even make eye contact, was a punch to the gut, everytime.

Slowly, Iella pushed the door open. Her hermitting the last few days had the bright sun hurting her eyes. But she kept moving. 

She walked slowly, as if trying to show that she wasn’t a threat, as she made her way towards the group of children. 

The baby in her arms squirmed when he saw his playmates. She set him down, watching with a stifled smile as his little legs hurried him towards them.

Satisfied that she’d gotten this far, something she hadn’t expected, she was content to run back to her hut and hide her face one again. Before she could turn and even begin to try and walk away, loud voices called out to her.

“Mrs. Mandalorian!” 

Iella couldn’t help the slight laugh that escaped her at what the children had come to call her. She walked towards them hesitantly, looking around, expecting to see angry parents with pitchforks coming at her.

“Do you want to play with us?” 

“Uhhh….” Iella floundered. 

She had to remind herself that the children hadn’t seen the battle. They hadn’t seen her dark side, they didn’t know she was a monster.

“Come on!” A young boy ran forward and grabbed her hand, dragging her to join the group.

Iella was hesitant, not wanting to push her luck, or be out in the open where she felt too exposed, but with all the smiling faces that looked at her, she found herself unable to turn them down.

The kids were all too happy to have her around. They taught her the rules of their made up games excitedly, showing her exactly where her place was. 

“Do you wanna be on my team?” A young girl asked her, grabbing her hand.

“Ok.” 

Iella couldn’t keep the smile off her face. She found it hard to be anything but happy and carefree as she watched the children laugh happily. She forgot about all her previous fears and worries. 

Until an angered voice yelled, catching everyone’s attention.

“Nomi!” A man screamed, rushing forward and grabbing his young daughter, hauling her up to her feet and pulling her away from Iella.

“Dad, I was just playing.” 

“What did I tell you? You stay away from her.” He scolded his daughter, sending a deadly scowl to Iella as he spoke.

By now a crowd had formed, weary gazes locked onto Iella, as if they were expecting her to lash out and attack the man.

“If you ever even think of putting a hand on my daughter-”

“I-I wasn’t. I would never-” Iella stammered, feeling her face grow hot with shame as the man looked at her with that look of pure disgust.

“What are you still doing here? The fight’s over, you did your job. You can go now.” He spat at her. 

Iella averted her eyes, slowly looking to the others who were crowded around, watching her get reamed out. They all avoided her gaze uncomfortably, making her heart sink to her stomach.

The man stepped forward, his face darkened with anger. 

“You don’t belong here.”

“I’m sorry.” Iella whispered, not knowing what else to say.

“Hey!” A harsh voice snapped, causing everyone to jump and involuntarily take a step backwards, avoiding the angry Mandalorian that stomped forward. As soon as he was close, he was taking Iella’s hand in his, moving her behind him. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“I’m making sure this bitch doesn’t kill anyone else.” 

Din’s face twisted in anger, his blood boiling and it took all the restraint he had to not punch the man in the face or wring his neck. He took a step forward, earning a sick sense of satisfaction as the man in front of him cowered slightly as his intimidating, armor clad form got nose to nose with him.

“If you want to stay standing, you’ll turn around and walk away.” He warned darkly. 

“Yeah, you’re gonna kill me too? You’re just as crazy as that-” 

Before the man could continue, most likely with another insult directed at his wife, Din lunged forward, grabbing his collar and roughly jerking him forward. 

Iella’s eyes widened and she grabbed onto Din’s arm, stopping him before he could raise his fist against the man. 

“Mando, stop. Please.” 

Din stopped, keeping himself from hitting the bilgerant man, but he didn’t let go or soften his hold on him. 

The man scoffed. “We never should have let you into our village.” 

“Kai, that’s enough.” An older woman stepped forward, afraid that the stupid man would coerse the Mandalorian into killing him.

“You saw what she did!”

“I did. I saw her take down a raider that had their gun pointed at you. You’d be dead now if it wasn’t for her.” The old woman argued, causing him to gape at her in surprise, unable to argue back.

Din eventually let the man go, making him hastily take steps back to create distance between them. Iella kept her hand on his arm, worried that he would soon change his mind and go after the asshole again. 

“She fought for us, helped save us, they both did. They belong here and they can stay as long as they want.” Another woman spoke up in their defence. 

Kai rolled his eyes, looking to the Mandalorian and his wife with disdain before shaking his head and walking away, back to his hut shamefully. 

Iella let out a breath she didn’t realize she had been holding, feeling relieved that he had gone, that she wouldn’t be suffering a public lashing, at least not anymore. 

“You ok?” 

She nodded, heat coming to her cheeks as she realized she was still holding tightly to Din’s arm and she quickly let go, averting her gaze from his shyly. 

Din stifled a shuddering breath at the loss of contact, one he’d reveled in, and looked around at the many eyes on them, the crowd of villagers too enthralled with the momentary drama to walk away just yet. 

He sneered under his helmet. 

“Come on.” He said softly, reaching out and taking her hand in his as he guided her back to their hut. “What happened?” He asked once they were alone, away from prying eyes. 

“I was… the baby wanted to play with the kids.” 

Din sighed, now understanding why she’d left the hut. Despite his worry for her, the underlying guilt he knew was still festering within her, he couldn’t help but feel warmed by her devotion to the baby.

It reminded him of the old her, the sweet and gentle version of her he’d known for so long. Knowing she’d sacrificed her own comfort for the baby, to make him happy, it left him aching for more, for a bigger sign that she was coming back to herself.

“Thanks for sticking up for me.” She said quietly, a bashful, half smile growing. 

Din’s heart raced and he nodded slowly, happy the helmet was covering his face so she wouldn’t see his own blush marking his cheeks.

“You never have to thank me for that.” He told her simply, a phrase he’d repeated to her many years ago, when they were younger. 

~~~

The drama had died down. Once Iella realized that the majority of the villagers were able to see past her display of violence, that they truly felt thankful for her actions, she found it easier to spend time outside the hut, outside of hiding.

She stuck with the kids, who always had a million questions for her, who always wanted help thinking of new games to make up. 

And Din.

He always found ways to make her blush, she’d come to find. She didn’t mind it, not in the slightest, she was just overwhelmed by it. He was so protective of her, so willing to be there for her, to help her when she faltered. 

She didn’t understand it, not quite, but she found she didn’t want him to stop.

Her eyes, as if on instinct, gazed across the village, finding him sitting on the porch with Cara. She smiled softly when his head tipped, indicating he was looking right back at her. 

Din watched with a content smile as his wife engaged in something he was told was a ‘braid chain’. Iella sat in the grass, weaving an intricate braid in the young girl sitting in front of her while another sat behind her, happily weaving her beautiful violet locks. 

“They seem to like it here.” Cara noted with an amused smirk as she watched the baby in Iella’s lap try to help her braid. 

The smile on Iella’s face, so easygoing, so breathtaking, it made Din feel dizzy. He hadn’t seen that sight in a long time. 

“You know we raised some hell here. It’s too much action for a backwater town like this. Word travels fast. We might wanna cycle the charts and move on.” 

“I wouldn’t wanna be the one who’s gotta tell him.” Cara said, watching the baby who cooed delightedly at the children.

“I’m leaving him here. Travelling with me, that’s no life for a kid. I did my job, he’s safe.”

“And Iella?”

“She’s… I gotta focus on her. Help her get better. I can’t do that if I’m worrying about him.” 

“Who says you can’t?” Cara argued. “You’re gonna break his little heart and she’s not gonna wanna leave him.”

“He’ll get over it.” Din answered, ignoring the pang in his chest at the thought of Iella being mad at him for this. He’d neglected telling her just because he didn’t know how to break it to her. He knew she would be upset.

“Look, I don’t wanna tell you how to care for your wife, but I only ever really see her smile when she’s with the kid. I don’t think you should be taking that away from her.” 

Din stayed silent. She was right, he knew she was. But there was something inside him, an anxious, self doubting part that told him he couldn’t have both. Having Iella’s enemies after them was one thing. He could deal with that, he wanted to. He couldn’t wait to end them.

But having bounties after them, constantly, because of the child was another. He couldn’t put Iella in more danger than she already was. 

Without another word to Cara he stood from his spot, walking across the village to find Omera. He felt slightly uncomfortable in her presence, knowing how it had made Iella feel. There was nothing there, truly. He liked the widow, he admired her bravery. It just made him uncomfortable that Iella had seen something there. 

It made him feel like there was something he was doing wrong.

He cleared his throat as he approached, catching her attention.

“Can I have a word?”

“Of course.” Omera followed him away from the workers, eyeing him curiously.

“It’s very nice here.” He started.

She nodded in agreement, slightly confused as to where he was going with this.

“I think it’s clear… he’s happy here.”

“What about you?” 

“Me?” Din asked in confusion.

“Are you happy here?” 

Din stayed silent, making Omera sigh. She looked over her shoulder, her eyes finding Iella, the woman she’d grown to feel more sympathy for than she ever would have expected. 

“Is  _ she _ happy here?”

“I think so.”

“Is she alright?” 

Din stayed silent again. He didn’t know how to answer. It was a question he had asked himself many times a day and every time he came up blank, a heavy weight sank lower and heavier within him. 

Omera sighed heavily, turning back to the Mandalorian. “I hope you know, we all deeply appreciate what you did for us, what  _ she  _ did for us. I know we weren’t exactly… polite with how we reacted, it was shocking to see, but it had to be done. We know that and we’re all so grateful for it.” 

Din felt choked at Omera’s words. 

“We want you all to stay. You and Iella, you can live here with your boy and have a good life.” 

It was tempting. So tempting. He looked over at Iella with the child, surrounded by the group of kids and that longing feeling that now seemed so familiar settled deep within him once again.

He could picture Iella here, her hair loose, a long, flowing dress, her stomach swollen with his child. 

It was everything he could have ever wanted for the both of them. But he couldn’t have it. Not while Iella was suffering. She wouldn’t be pregnant with his child because she didn’t remember him, she didn’t love him. 

The image dissipated quickly, a bitter feeling replacing the warmth it had conjured. 

“I need to save my wife. I need to help her and I can’t do that here.” Din explained, only further confusing Omera. “But the child, he belongs here.” 

“I will look after him as one of my own.” She promised him. 

Suddenly, a loud blaster shot fired through the air. Instinctively, Din placed his body in front of Omera, pulling out his own blaster. 

“Get the kids.” He ordered. 

Across the village, Iella cradled the child to her chest, her heart racing as her wide eyes scanned the children around her who clung to her tightly in fear, making sure none of them were hurt.

“Iella?!” A voice yelled.

She sighed in relief at hearing his voice, knowing he was ok. 

“I’m here!” She called back. 

Din ran forward, his shoulder’s visibly relaxing when he saw her. “Stay with the kids.” He told her before running towards the forest, his weapon tight in his hands.

Iella let out a shaking breath, looking down at the child in her arms to find his wide eyes already staring back up at her.

“It’s ok. You’re ok.” She whispered soothingly, her heart melting as he nestled into the crook of her neck with a small whine. 

Anger swelled within her at the thought of someone trying to hurt him, or the other children. But the anger, she realized was not one born of bloodlust, it was different from what she was used to. It was a protective anger, one that wished to keep the child safe from any harm.

It was a new feeling, a strange feeling, but she found she liked it far better than that feeling of bloodlust. She felt more normal to feel it.

Din and Cara made their way back and soon it was a rush of gathering their things and loading up to leave. Their leave was sooner than Iella expected, but one she knew was coming.

She could tell Din didn’t like to stay still for too long. 

Iella bid goodbye to the children, smiling sadly at the frowns on their faces. She hoped she’d see them again. 

“Thank you, for everything.” Omera said to her, holding her hand warmly.

Iella stiffened but plastered on a smile. “Thank  _ you  _ for letting us stay here.”

“You’re welcome back here anytime.” 

Iella nodded, a genuine smile growing. “Thank you.” She said again. 

As she mounted the cart, she gave a final wave to the children who eagerly waved back, exuberantly yelling their goodbyes. 

“You ready?” Din asked as he hoisted himself up on the cart to sit beside her. She nodded, subconsciously leaning in closer to him, the action causing Din to stiffen for a moment before relaxing as his surprise wore off.

His heart raced at her closeness and he longed to reach out, to hold her tightly to him and never let go.

They didn’t speak much as they made their way back to the crest and Din was all business as he loaded their things back on the ship. Iella took the child into her arms who was seconds from falling asleep, his big eyes blinking heavily as he fought against it.

Iella pressed a kiss to his forehead. “It’s ok, little one, just rest.” She whispered to him.

Once she made her way up the ramp, she found his pod, gently placing him down, fiddling with the blankets to make sure he was comfortable. By the time she pulled her hands away, the baby was sleeping peacefully.

“The womp rat asleep?” Din’s voice called out and she nodded, turning on her heel to face him.

Her brows furrowed when she noticed how tense he looked, how rigidly he stood.

“Are you ok?”

Her question made his head snap up, his visor meeting her gaze. He didn’t think she’d notice. He took a slow step forward, his heart beginning to race as he began to prepare himself, unable to withhold what he desired so deeply.

“Can I… can I try something?” He asked her, his voice soft as he took another cautious step forward until he was standing just inches away from her.

Iella watched him closely, swallowing her nerves down. She was scared of him, not of what he’d do to her, just of what he made her feel. But it was a good scared, the best kind of scared.

“Yes.” She breathed out. Her hand twitched, wanting to reach out and touch him, but she stopped herself. 

Din let out a shaking breath and mustered all the courage he had. He hoped to whatever maker existed that he wasn’t pushing her too far or scaring her off.

“Stop me if this is too much.” He whispered to her. She didn’t say anything, her eyes continuing to stare at him, as if she could see right through his visor. 

He always felt that way whenever she looked at him. It had started off incredibly terrifying to him, but as the years went on he found himself looking for it, finding comfort in it.

He reached out slowly, his hands gently resting at her waist. Iella pursed her lips, trying her best to not let out a pleasured gasp of surprise at his touch. Din slowly leaned down, letting his eyes fall closed as he leaned his helmeted forehead against hers. 

Iella let out an audible breath and her eyes closed. Images flashed through her mind like a mirage, images of her and Din, sometimes armored and sometimes not, locked in this affectionate gesture.

This was how Mandalorian’s kissed. She didn’t learn that through reading, or anything Master Voros had taught her. No, she knew because of Din, because he showed her time and time again. 

He really did care about her, love her. 

She sometimes found it hard to believe, wondering if he was lying to her about their supposed past, thinking it was so unlikely that he could love her, but now, with his forehead pressed against hers, his hands at her waist holding her so gently, so lovingly, she knew it was true.

The knowledge almost brought her to her knees.

“Do you remember this?” He asked quietly, his voice shaky and filled with barely contained emotion. 

“Yes.”


	10. Chapter 10

Iella watched fondly as the green baby slept peacefully in his cradle. He had an exciting time on Sorgan, Iella knew he hadn’t wanted to leave them, but Din had to think of his safety.

They needed to leave to make sure more bounty hunters didn’t find their hideout. 

Iella hadn’t seen Din for a few hours. She knew he needed time alone, he didn’t feel comfortable showing his face to the child, but she found herself feeling unsettled without him by her side.

Despite the fact that she didn’t remember him, he had become her safety net, the one person she felt comfortable with, except for the baby, of course. 

She gently ran her finger along the length of the baby’s big ears, smiling softly as he twitched in his sleep. She slowly stood from her spot, not wanting to disturb him, and made her way down the ladder from the cockpit. 

She felt like all she had been doing for the last few days was being mommy to the strange green creature and she desperately wanted to shower. She knew she had at least some food in her hair from the baby’s grubby hands tugging on her long strands. And she felt like she could use some solitude. It was all she had known on the Imperial base where she was kept, except for Voros and the odd doctor, and she felt she was beginning to go stir crazy having no time to herself for weeks now.

Iella made her way towards the fresher and opened the door, jumping in surprise when she saw Din standing helmetless.

“Oh shit, sorry.” She cried out, placing a hand over her eyes. Din frowned deeply and he slowly reached out, taking her hand off her eyes.

“It’s ok. You’re allowed to see me.” 

Iella slowly opened her eyes, one at a time and looked up at him bashfully, her cheeks blooming with a blush.

“Right.” She muttered, almost shamefully. 

She was his wife. She was the only one allowed to see his face. She’d forgotten. 

Din sighed softly, trying hard to ignore the pang in his chest at her actions. He’d thought she was making progress. After their keldabe kiss, knowing she’d remembered that they’d always used to show affection that way, he figured she was starting to remember more.

It was agonizing each time she showed just how much she _didn’t_ remember. She didn’t remember that she was allowed to see his face, that they were married, and it killed him.

“Uhh, I was just about to take a shower.” Iella said slowly, awkwardly standing in the fresher with him. 

Din nodded in realization. This wouldn’t be like old times where they would shower together, or where she felt comfortable enough to leave the door open. It was different now.

“Oh right.” He said awkwardly, getting out of her way and leaving the fresher. 

“Do you have any shampoo and conditioner, I don’t see any in here.” She asked and Din never would have thought that such a simple question would set his heart fluttering.

She always used to tease him for the three-in-one soap he used. She used to decorate the already cramped fresher with fancy products he always told her were unnecessary, but gave in to each and every time. 

He even surprised her more than a few times with the most lavish and expensive soap he could find whenever he could, just because he knew it would make her smile.

“Yeah, I have some.” He choked out, pushing past the pain, once again. 

He moved towards the storage cupboards. After he thought she was gone forever, he’d hoarded all of her things away, unable to look at them without feeling complete agony. Even the sight of her shampoo was enough to bring him to tears in those early days after he thought he lost her.

He figured it was just easier to hide them, he never had the heart to throw them away. There would be many nights he’d opened the shampoo bottle just to get a whiff of that familiar, fruity scent of her, one he had missed so terribly.

He pulled out the bottles he’d kept, missing the trinket that fell at his feet as he did. Iella’s eyes narrowed and she stepped forward, standing beside him and taking the weaved trinket in her hands.

“Is this a dreamcatcher?” 

Din’s eyes widened and he fought hard against the stinging he felt in his eyes, the emotions that rose at the sight of the gift she’d given him all those years ago. Seeing it in her hands again was almost too much.

“Yes.” He answered, his voice rough with repressed emotions. 

Iella turned it over in her appreciatively. “It’s pretty. Why do you keep it in there?” 

Din couldn’t speak, the lump in his throat prevented him from even trying, knowing he most likely wouldn’t be able to speak without his voice breaking. Iella looked up at him when he didn’t answer, her eyes watching him curiously.

Her breath caught in her throat and her heart began to race as she caught sight of the tears that formed in his eyes. She was getting astute at reading the signs, reading the sadness on his face or in his posture every time she made it obvious she had forgotten something significant. 

“Was it mine?” She whispered hesitantly. Din shook his head, clearing his throat and forcing his bubbling emotions to stay beneath the surface.

“You… you got it for me, a long time ago.” 

Iella’s face twisted with sadness. The look of shame in her eyes was like a knife in the gut for him. He knew how hard it was for her to come to terms with things she no longer remembered. It took a toll each time.

Before Din could offer any words of comfort, the ship suddenly lurched on its side, causing Iella to fall right into his chest. His arms cradled her protectively, holding her tightly to keep her from falling as they stumbled in their place.

She looked up at him, their eyes meeting and it was as if they were both in a trance at being so close. It wasn’t until the ship jerked again, that they realized they were nose to nose and Iella quickly pulled herself back, as much as she could with his arms still locked around her waist. 

“What the hell was that?”

Din quickly, but reluctantly, pulled his arm back and placed his helmet on, racing up to the cockpit. Alarms and incessant beeping were blaring. He sat himself down in the pilot’s chair and frantically began to swerve the ship away from the incoming blasts.

_“Hand over the child, Mando. We might let you live.”_ A stilted voice came in through the comms.

He jerked the joystick, careening the ship on it’s side. Iella, who hadn’t yet made her way to her seat, cursed and gripped onto the back of his chair tightly.

“Strap yourself in.” He ordered sternly. 

Iella quickly rushed forward as he levelled the ship to allow her to move. As soon as he heard the click of her seatbelt, he jerked the ship again to avoid the blaster hits. 

“Hang on.” He warned them before engaging the thrusters. Iella winced as the ship flew backwards, locking the attacking ship in target in front of them. Din fired his blasters, blowing the ship in front of them to fiery pieces. 

Suddenly, the lights went out, the whir of the engine falling to a dull hum. Iella looked over at the child who was giggling to himself, looking marvelled by the flashing lights on the dash. 

“Are we fucked”? She spoke up, breaking the silence. Her words made Din huff out a laugh. She sounded like herself again with those blunt words and he had to remind himself not to get too excited by them.

“Not yet.” 

Thankfully, the engine wasn’t completely fried and Din was able to get things running again. 

“We’re losing fuel. We’ll have to land here.” Din explained and began to make his descent onto Tatooine. Once they had landed shakily, Iella let out a long breath and leaned back in her seat. She wondered if her old life was like this, living planet to planet, having to constantly look over their shoulders for danger. 

“I’ll put the kid to bed. Why don’t you shower while I go into town. I need to find a job so we can pay for repairs.” 

Iella nodded in agreement and made her way down to finally have that shower she was longing for. As she moved to step into the fresher, she looked to Din before she closed the door.

“I won’t be long.” He promised. Whether it was to assure her or himself, he didn’t exactly know. 

As they separated, Din was anxious to leave her for too long. Tatooine didn’t exactly have the best representation and she wasn’t in her best state of mind.

Back in the Razor Crest, Iella let out a sigh of relief as the hot water hit her skin. It felt blissful to wash her long hair. She stayed in the shower longer than was necessary, her mind wandering as she stood under the flowing water.

She felt uneasy at the state of her life. She couldn’t keep living her life in hiding, in the dark from her own mind. She wanted to end this, she wanted to end Voros so she didn’t have to live her life on the run. 

She knew Din’s job was dangerous, that they’d have to be on the run anyways with the child, but she was willing to do that. For the child she would. 

But hiding from Voros was not something she could stand. She hated the man and she wanted him dead. 

Finally, after her skin was tinged pink from the hot water, she turned the water off and stepped out, wrapping a towel around her body. 

As soon as she opened the door, the intimidating form of the Mandalorian was there, his fist raised as he was about to knock. They both jumped at the sight of the other and Iella tightened the towel around her, suddenly feeling extremely vulnerable.

“Uhhh, hi. Sorry.” Din stuttered, averting his gaze from her tempting almost naked form. “I was just-” His words stopped abruptly and beneath his helmet, his eyes narrowed suspiciously. The bunk was empty.

“Where’s the kid?”

“I thought he was asleep.” Iella followed his gaze and her face paled when she saw the empty blankets. “Shit.” She muttered. 

Without any regard for her state of undress, including a lack of shoes, she followed behind Din and they raced out of the ship.

“Hey!” Din yelled out, waking the mechanic who had the baby in her arms. 

“Aww man, you woke it up!” She complained and stepped towards them, bouncing the child up and down in an effort to calm him down. “Do you know how long it took me to get him to sleep?” 

Iella eyed the strange woman curiously and peered over her shoulder, looking down at the child to make sure he was ok.

“Give him to me.” Din ordered.

“Not so fast. You know it’s really irresponsible to leave a child alone just because you needed some ‘quality time’.” She scolded them. 

Both Iella and Din blushed at what she was insinuating, neither one of them able to look at the other. 

“It’s not like that.” Iella quickly spoke up and the mechanic just eyed her incredulously, raising a brow at the sight of her in nothing but a towel. Iella shifted under her gaze, her white knuckled grip on her towel tightening even further.

“Right.” She whispered to herself. “I’m gonna get dressed.” She spoke bashfully and quickly scurried back inside the ship, locking herself in the bunk. She let out a harsh breath, winding a hand through her wet hair. 

She dressed as quickly as possible and although she didn’t exactly want to leave the ship and face the mechanic again, she didn’t exactly feel comfortable leaving the baby with her. 

Stepping out of her room, she noticed Din grabbing his weapons. 

“You got a job?” 

Din nodded, not sparing a look back at her. “Found someone who needs help getting into the guild. I should be back by tonight.”

Iella’s brows furrowed at his words and she began to feel a pit of unease growing in her stomach. 

“I’m going with you.” She stated.

Din finally looked over at her and he sighed, his helmeted head bowing slightly. 

“No, you’re staying here.” 

“No, I can't, you can’t just-” She stammered and exhaled heavily in annoyance. “I can’t sit on the sidelines.”

“It’s not safe.” 

Iella rolled her eyes. “I’m a trained assassin, you know that right?” 

Behind his helmet, Din winced. He didn’t want to be reminded. He didn’t know how to tell her what it was he was scared of. He knew she could handle herself, that she was perfectly capable of taking care of the job, especially against the asshole kid he was going on the job with. That wasn’t what scared him. 

“I know you can… I just don’t want to put you in that position.” He said slowly and he winced again at the unconvinced look on her face. He bit his lip nervously. “It’s just… on Sorgan-”

“What about Sorgan?” Iella snapped, her voice getting louder with anger. “What, you think I’m gonna snap and kill everyone?” 

“That’s not-! Look...” He sighed, forcing himself to calm down and not match her anger. He reached out slowly, taking her hand in his. “I just need you to stay safe. Going out on missions, dealing with the scum of the galaxy, that’s the last place you need to be.” 

“I can’t just stay locked up in here forever.” 

“We’ll, you’re not going out there either.”

“Din-”

“You’re staying here.” He interrupted sternly, his voice low with authority. Iella stiffened and hardened her expression, the look of anger and betrayal piercing him, making his shoulders stiffen.

“Is that an order?” Iella taunted bitterly. She scoffed suddenly, shaking her head and wrenched her arm out of his grasp.

“Guess I went from one master to another.” She muttered as she stepped out of the ship.

Din stood frozen in his spot, watching her leave, his mouth agape beneath his helmet. His heart felt as though it had been disintegrated into dust. Shame washed over him so forcefully it felt as though it would knock him to his knees.

His hands clenched into fists as his anger followed soon after. He loved her, gods did he love her more than anything in the galaxy, but it was starting to feel like a failing job. He was beginning to lose hope. He feared that she’d never remember, or maybe never fall in love with him again.

It was getting harder and harder to face her each day and pretend he wasn’t crumbling from the weight of his grief and sadness and anger. 

Her words were justified and that made it hurt so bad. 

“You know it’s costing me a lot of money to keep these droids powered up.” Peli spoke up as soon as Iella made her way out of the ship. “And your buddy there refuses their service. _And_ it’s gonna cost extra to look after this little one.”

“Don't worry about that. I’m staying, I can take care of the kid.” Iella assured her. Peli clicked her tongue and looked Iella up and down curiously.

“Alright. But, like I said, repairing this hunk of junk is gonna be a lot of work without the droids. If you help me I’ll knock some credits off the price. You know you’re way around ships?” 

Iella opened her mouth to answer but stopped. _Did she?_

She didn’t know if she was handy with repairs, she didn’t know if it was something the ‘old her’ knew how to do.

“Well?” Peli asked impatiently at her lack of answer, snapping Iella out of her thoughts.

“Uhh, yeah, sure. I can help.” 

“Alright.” Peli said, her narrowed gaze back to looking at Iella curiously. She turned to the Mandalorian who was exiting his ship. “You’re lucky you have this one around.” She called out to him, unaware of just how much those words affected him.

Iella clenched her jaw as he walked past her, making no effort to talk to her. 

“How long are you gonna be, cause if it’s any longer than a day, I’ll start charging a parking fee.” Peli pestered him as he left the hanger. 

“I won’t be long.”

Iella followed them out slowly, her body immediately tensing when she saw the young man next to the speeders, the man that would be working the job with Din. she crossed her arms over her chest defensively, her fingers twitching with the reflexive want to reach for her weapon.

The man eyed her up and down appreciatively and stepped forward, holding his hand out.

“Hey, I’m Toro. Toro Calican.” He smiled charmingly. 

Iella stared back at him, her hard expression unwavering, her arms unmoving from their crossed position. Toro’s smile faltered and he slowly let his hand fall down to his side when he realized she had no intention of touching him.

“Let’s go. We don’t wanna lose to the light.” Din said sternly, making Toro flinch slightly at the hard edge in his voice and he quickly made his way to the speeder. Din was glad he came up with the excuse he did. He was willing to say anything to threaten Toro away from his wife. 

Din hesitated before getting onto the speeder. He turned back to Iella, wanting nothing more than to rush back to her, bring her into his arms, tell her he was sorry, that he loved her, that he would do anything to make her ok again. 

He didn’t move. 

Iella looked over at him, noticing his stare. Her face softened slightly, her anger giving way to sadness, which only made Din feel worse. 

“Be safe.” She mumbled softly and turned on her heel, walking back into the hanger. 

Din watched her go, his heart beating heavily in his chest. Those words, no matter how simple they were, always meant the world to him, and even more now that she didn’t even remember how she used to say them. 

Stepping back into the lot, she saw Peli sitting at a table with her working droids, and the woman held up a handful of cards. “Wanna play?”

Iella sighed, it wasn’t like she had anything else to do. “Sure.” 

~~

After playing cards for a while, Peli finally got started on the repairs and within minutes, Iella realized that, no, she did not know her way around a ship. 

Iella jumped back, holding in a yelp, as the mechanics in front of her sparked. She looked over at Peli slowly, who was looking back at her in annoyance. 

“Sorry.” Iella mumbled. She placed the wrench in her hands down and sat back on her knees with a huff. “I’m not helping.” She surmised simply.

“Nope.” Peli agreed without hesitation. 

Iella sighed and looked around at the empty lot. Her eyes, for what was probably the thousandth time, locked onto the doorway, wondering when Din would find his way back.

She always felt out of her element, vulnerable, when he wasn’t by her side. She felt even more uneasy with how they’d left things. 

She was going crazy just sitting and waiting for him. 

She looked down at the baby who was stumbling towards her, his little arms reaching out to her as he whined softly. Iella smiled at him, picking him up into her arms. She got the feeling he could tell something was wrong, he’d been extra clingy since Din had left, as if he had known Iella was upset about their fight.

Iella felt stuck. It wasn’t a new feeling, but it was more unbearable today. She couldn’t stand it.

“I’m gonna head out for a bit.” She said, getting to her feet. 

“What? I thought you said you’d be looking after the kid?” Peli argued. 

“I won’t be long, an hour, at most.”

“That’s gonna cost you.”

Iella rolled her eyes. “Is that all you care about?”

“You _don’t_ care about it?” She asked in disbelief, rolling her eyes. “Don’t be too long. That kid’s a handful, I’m not looking to deal with him by myself.”

Iella laughed slightly. She could tell Peli was enamoured by the child. His cute self had her wrapped around his finger. The child’s whine as she placed him on the ground had her frowning and suppressing the urge to wrap him back up in her arms.

“I’ll be back soon, little one, I promise.” 

Iella walked slowly, her sad eyes looking at the baby until she knew she’d have to look away from his face or she’d stay for sure. 

As soon as she left the hanger, she let out a breath, feeling more free than she had been just sitting and waiting. Without a destination in mind, she began to walk. 

The streets weren’t busy, which was a relief. 

The occasional person she did cross, she made sure to keep her eyes forward, schooling her expression to not draw any attention to herself. She soon heard the low thump of loud music playing. Following the noise, she made it to a busy cantina.

It looked shady, but it wasn’t anything she hadn’t faced before. 

Iella smiled lightly as she walked into the cantina, enjoying the sound of music, which she hadn’t allowed herself to indulge in since… well, she couldn’t remember. 

She elbowed her way to the bar, flagging down the droid behind the counter. As she waited for a drink, a figure soon came by her side, standing close enough for their arm to brush against hers. Iella tensed and slinked her arm closer to her side.

“Hey, you drinking alone?”

Iella turned, eyeing the stranger beside her carefully. He was handsome, with a charming grin on his face. But she couldn’t have been less interested. 

“Yeah.”

“You want company?”

“I’m good.” She shook her head, trying hard not to show how uncomfortable he made her. 

“Aww, c’mon. A pretty girl like you shouldn’t be in a place like this alone.”

“I can handle myself just fine.”

The man smiled at her words, leaning in closer to her. “Lucky for me, I happen to like my women feisty.” 

It took all her might to not roll her eyes and she quickly downed her drink. “Look, I’m not interested, ok?” 

“Don’t be like that, we’re just getting to know each other.” The man crooned, his hand slithering over her wrist. Iella jerked back, but his hand remained holding her.

“Don’t touch me.” She spat through gritted teeth. 

“Hey, I’m just trying to talk. Don’t need to get so aggressive.” He taunted, his grip tightening its hold on her. 

Iella stared down at the hand on her wrist, her heart racing within her chest as she started to breathe unevenly. She saw images flashing in her mind, bindings around her wrist, faceless soldiers holding her down and strapping her in, the whir of a machine, her echoing screams of pain. 

_That’s it, Darling_

That voice in her head, _his_ voice, had her stomach turning.

With an anguished sob, Iella punched the man holding her across the jaw, making him stumble to the ground. Before the hush fell over the crowd, Iella was already running out the door. She walked as fast as she could without alarming anyone she passed. 

Once she was a good five minutes away from the cantina, her pace slowed and she let herself stop and catch her breath. She braced her hands on her knees, taking in deep breaths in an effort to calm herself down. 

“Fuck.” She breathed out to herself. Her ears were ringing and she felt a headache forming. She recognized the phantom pain, the aches that would linger from that wretched machine, the one used to erase her completely.

_Keep moving,_ she spoke to herself. All she wanted was to be back on the Razor Crest, the child in her arms and Din at her side. She didn’t exactly know when it had happened but they had become her comfort zone.

She walked quickly, praying that Din would be there by the time she got back. 

When she got back to the hanger, she stopped in her tracks. Only one speeder was parked out front. Her stomach twisted, that instinct for danger that had been instilled in her during her time on the Imperial base made her just _know_ something was wrong.

Taking the blaster out of her thigh holster, she slowly crept forward into the hanger, moving with silent footsteps. 

She strained her ears, hearing a voice she didn’t fully recognize. That douchebag Din had left with, she was sure.

“Bringing you in won’t make me a member of the guild, it’ll make me legendary.” She heard Toro taunt.

Iella peered around the corner, her blood beginning to boil when she saw the asshole holding the child, pointing his blaster at Din. She squinted her eyes, noticing Din had something in his hands that Peli was hesitating to cuff. 

A wave of fiery protectiveness washed over her so strongly, it almost scared her. She knew this wasn’t her way, at least not the person the Imperials had trained her to be. She never cared about her partners, she never cared if they got killed or not, she never bothered to protect them on jobs. 

But it was Din. It was the child. 

The apathy Voros had taught her was gone with the two of them around. 

Without even waiting for Din to make his sly move, she was stepping out of the shadows and raising her blaster, firing off a shot that hit Toro directly in the chest. He barely had a chance to cry out in pain before he fell to the ground, motionless.

Din jumped, pulling out his blaster and pointing it at the potential threat that had taken out Toro before him. His shoulders sagged and a ragged breath left him when he saw Iella step towards him. 

“Where the fuck have you been?” He almost yelled, unable to keep the fear out of his voice. When he had gotten back to the hanger and she had been gone, he couldn’t help the deep horror that solidified within him.

“I went out for a drink.” She answered sheepishly. She’d been happy to finally get out, have a moment for herself, not matter how quickly it had turned to shit, but knowing Toro had come had her regretting her decision.

“Where’s the kid?” She asked, sidestepping Din, who was left gaping at her - both in relief and shock - and hurried towards Peli who was lifting the child into her arms. She couldn’t deal with him, not yet. The idea of him being angry at her had her hesitant to even try and start a conversation.

“Is he ok?” 

“I think so. Oh, I know, that was really loud for your big old ears, wasn’t it? 

Iella held back a smile at Peli’s baby voice as she spoke to the child. “I’ll take him.” She offered, taking the child that a reluctant Peli handed over. Iella rocked him softly, her heart melting as the child let out a small coo and nestled into the crook of her neck.

“I’ll get him settled.” She told Din, who still had his eyes trained on her intently. “And sorry, for not being much help.” She said to Peli who waved her off.

“Don’t sweat it.”

Iella smiled at the strange mechanic and walked back into the ship, stepping up into the cockpit to place the child into his pod. She let out a deep breath, the events of the night rattling around in her head on a loop. 

“We’re ok.” She whispered, gently brushing a finger over the child’s large ears, a smile forming at the sound of his sweet giggle. 

She tensed suddenly as she heard heavy footsteps up to the cockpit. She averted her eyes, looking down at the baby to avoid looking at the Mandalorian as he took his seat and started up the engine. 

“Strap yourself in.” He told her. 

She was happy there was no hint of malice or anger in his voice, despite everything that happened that day and quickly strapped herself in for take off. 

It was dreadfully silent as Din began to fly. Iella wrung her fingers together anxiously. There were thousands of things she wanted to say. She wanted to yell at him, she wanted to cry, to be held by him, she wanted to scream in frustration at her own mind. 

She didn’t know which of those would make her feel better, which of those would heal her.

In his pilot’s chair, Din shifted uncomfortably. It had never been this way with Iella. Even when they weren’t together yet, when they were unknowingly pining after each other, or when they had fought in the past, it had never been this stifling between them before.

Her words from earlier still lingered in his mind. They still caused an ache in his chest to form. 

He needed to make this right. 

“I’m sorry.” Din said softly, finally breaking the tense silence.

Iella looked up at him in surprise, her expression much softer than it had been previously. 

“I didn’t want to make you feel like a prisoner. I care about you and I just want to keep you safe. I’ve always had trouble letting you take the reins. Our job wasn’t easy, I never really got comfortable having you out in the field with me, in danger and I guess I just got too caught up in wanting to protect you, I wasn’t thinking about anything else.”

“I’m sorry I got so angry.” Iella whispered. “I know it’s dangerous for me to be out in the open. I just…” she trailed off, looking down at her hands that fidgeted in her lap nervously. 

“What?” Din asked softly. The hurt look on her face hurt _him_ too much to be so far away from her. He got up from his pilot’s chair and kneeled down in front of her, taking her hands in his and held them tightly. Iella let out a shaking breath, both his touch and his closeness setting her heart racing. She looked up into his visor, feeling anxious to reveal what she truly felt. 

“I feel safe with you. When you leave… I feel like I’m… floundering...more than usual.” 

Din’s heart both swelled and broke at the same time. She needed him, just like he needed her. Even with her not remembering him, that hadn’t changed. But knowing she was suffering, felt so scared in this big galaxy, that made his chest ache. 

“I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. I told you before, I don’t care how long this will take, I don’t care if it never happens, I’m not giving up on you.” He assured her, his voice low and quiet. He was afraid if he projected anymore, his voice would crack, revealing just how hurt he was.

Iella tightened her hands in his. Despite his touch, she longed for more. 

“Din,” She breathed out, making him look up at her and even behind the helmet, she felt as though he was seeing _every_ part of her so deeply. “Can you… can you hug me?” 

Without another word, without a second to wait, he lunged forward, pulling her into his arms tightly. Behind his helmet, his eyes squeezed shut as he tried hard not to show just how much this affected him, just how much he wanted to break down. 

He tightened his grip around her waist, letting his mind take over as he pictured this moment happening just over a year ago. Her in his arms, holding him tightly, and _loving_ him. 

“Please come back to me.” Din whispered, his voice shaking. Iella felt tears spring to her eyes and she held onto him tighter, feeling her heart break at the vulnerable sound to his voice. 

_I’m trying,_ she thought to herself. She wanted to so desperately. 


	11. Chapter 11

_ Din sighed in contentment, snuggling in closer to Iella who was huddled against him in the cramped bunk. He let his eyes fall closed at the blissful feeling of holding her so tightly, so close. _

_ “I missed you.” He whispered, nuzzling his nose into her hair that was sprawled across the pillow, breathing in her comforting scent. _

_ “I missed you too.” She told him with a smile, pressing a light kiss to his jaw, making him moan softly. _

_ Din held her tightly, as if he was worried she’d disappear if he let go.  _

_ Having her wrapped in his arms made it easy for him to fall asleep. He had never felt so at ease before. She so effortlessly made every trauma he’d ever experienced easier to face.  _

_ He hummed in pleasure, longing to be even closer. He opened his eyes and suddenly sat up, pure fear coursing through him. _

_ She was gone. The space in his bunk was empty, she was no longer wrapped around him so tightly. _

_ “El?” He called out, stumbling to his feet and racing out of the cramped room.  _

_ “El?!” _

_ He sprinted up to the cockpit, his heart hammering within his chest. There was no sign of her. He jumped back down to the hull, loud, ragged gasps escaping him as he began to panic. _

_ “Iella!” He screamed, his eyes frantically roaming over every inch of the ship.  _

_ She was nowhere to be found.  _

_ With a shaking hand, he pressed the button on his vambrace, opening the ramp of the ship. Without even realizing his helmet was off, or even caring, he ran on shaking legs out of the ship.  _

_ His eyes widened and a whimper escaped his lips when his eyes landed on the fiery remains of a destroyed ship that laid in front of him. _

_ It was the ship those gangsters had dragged her onto. It was the ship that fell out of the sky, making him think he had lost her forever. It was the ship that tore his heart out and ruined every part of him.  _

_ But this was different.  _

_ He could see through the window of the cockpit, he could see the outline of a body laying motionless, he could see her violet hair. She hadn’t escaped. This wasn’t like it was supposed to be, she hadn’t survived. _

_ “Iella.” He breathed out, his voice laced with agony as he fell to his knees. _

_ Din _

_ Din _

“Din!” 

He gasped, startling awake. The first thing he saw was Iella staring down at him, her face twisted with worry. He looked down, his gaze locked onto her hands that were still holding him tightly from how she had tried to gently rouse him awake.

“Are you ok?”

He reached out, placing his hands on hers, holding them tightly. He felt as though her touch grounded him, pulled him back to reality as the remnants of his dream lingered in his mind, sending a shiver down his spine.

“I’m ok.” He whispered, though she looked doubtful by the way his chest continued to heave with panting, panicked breaths. 

Iella looked at him intently, her eyes searching for an explanation, which she would never get with the helmet that covered his face. 

“You were… you were saying my name in your sleep.” She told him quietly, hoping the heated blush on her cheeks wouldn’t completely give her away to how the knowledge made her feel. 

Din stiffened, his instinct telling him to pull away, to escape the inevitable embarrassing conversation, but he found himself unable to move, unable to part from her touch. 

“I’m sorry.” He whispered.

“For what?”

He swallowed thickly, shifting in his spot. “I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I know this is… new for you.”

Iella couldn’t help the small smile that grew at his worry for her. She was always left feeling giddy by his insistence on helping her, on keeping her comfortable, how he tried so hard for her. 

“You don’t make me uncomfortable.” 

Din stared back at her, his heart racing once again. The relief that washed over him at her words was indescribable. It was the barest form of assurance, but it was more than he had in a long time. 

He longed to reach out to her. He was thankful he was still wearing his helmet or it would have been extremely difficult to not pull her into his arms and kiss her like he wanted, like he longed for. 

He cleared his throat, forcing the thoughts from his head.

“Where’s the kid?” He asked, swiftly changing the subject before the need for her became too unbearable. 

“Still asleep, don’t worry.” 

Din nodded and stood, quickly sidestepping her and making his way out of the room. He felt like he couldn’t breathe around her and he needed to get his head into the game. He had a job coming and he couldn’t let himself get distracted, not with the dangerous crew he would be running with.

“Wait.” Iella called out, grabbing his gloved hand to stop him. Din froze and looked down at her hand in his, his heart racing at her touch. “There’s something I wanted to run by you.”

“Ok.” He said slowly.

“I need to go after Voros.”

Her words made it feel as though they had knocked him to the floor. They were the last things he’d expected to hear and he couldn’t ignore the fierce protectiveness that grew within him on instinct at the mention of the man who hurt his wife.

“W-what? You-you can’t, he’s dangerous, El, you can’t- I won’t let you- he’s-” He stammered frantically. His mind conjured images of Iella getting hurt, of Voros getting his hands back on her and twisting her mind until she was back at square one, with no memory of him again.

“Din, we can’t live like this. We’re never going to be safe as long as he lives. I need to find him and I need to kill him.” 

Din sighed deeply, trying his best to take back control of his spiralling emotions. 

“Iella, you can’t get anywhere near him.”

“I know he’s looking for me. If we get ahead of him, if I find him before he finds me I can get the upper hand and kill him before he kills me.” 

“And what if you don’t? You said he’s at an old Imperial base? He’s got muscle, he’s got weapons.” He explained, desperately trying to get the idea out of her head. “I can’t lose you again, I can’t let you get anywhere near that man.” 

Iella felt herself beginning to get frustrated and she sighed heavily, forcing herself not to get mad and lash out at him. They didn’t need a repeat of their fight a few days ago.

“Din, I can’t keep going like this. I can’t handle those memories, I can’t keep having those feelings every time someone touches me.”

Din suddenly stiffened, his heart beginning to thump against his chest, almost painfully. He turned to face her and for the first time since Iella started travelling with him, she found that emotionless visor looking back at her intimidating. 

“What?”

Iella paused, her lips parted in surprise at the anger she heard in his voice. She soon realized her mistake, her admittance that someone, other than him, had their hands on her, despite it being consensual or not. 

Despite not remembering their relationship, they were still technically married. Iella cared for him, maybe not in the passionate, loving way she used to, but she didn’t long for anyone else. She wouldn’t go looking for anyone else.

“Who… who touched you?” He spoke through gritted teeth, his hands clenching into fists as white hot anger rushed through him. The thought of her with someone else absolutely destroyed him. 

Iella hesitated for a second, running a hand through her hair nervously. “On Tatooine, when I went out for a drink, there was a guy…”

Din’s breathing turned erratic, tears involuntarily springing to his eyes. His mind whirled with the most torturous thoughts of her tangled with another man. He’d lost her, officially. She didn’t remember him, she was moving on. 

“He didn’t do anything, not really. He was just trying to flirt, he put his hand on my wrist and it was like…”

“Like what?” He breathed out, feeling dizzy at the whirlwind of emotions that were running through him. The fear, the relief that she hadn’t slept with some stranger, the worry and rage that  _ something  _ had happened against her will were all simultaneous. 

“It felt like I was back there. I could feel the binders on my wrists, the restraints of the machine, I could hear Voros in my head.” She admitted quietly, her voice shaking slightly. 

Din’s shoulders slumped and he reached out to her reflexively before stopping himself, realizing his touch most likely wouldn’t be comforting to her. 

“I’m sorry.” He said, feeling at a loss as to what else to say. There was a lot he wanted to say, he wanted to tell her he would go back to Tatooine and kill the man that dared to touch her, he wanted to tell her he’d track Voros across the galaxy and make him pay for everything he’d put her through.

But he couldn’t, especially about Voros. He wouldn’t put her in danger and he knew there was no way she’d let him go by himself. 

“But I need you as far away from that man as possible.”

With that, he turned on his heel and stomped his way up to the cockpit, not allowing her to argue back. Left in the silence, Iella’s shoulders slumped and she exhaled heavily in annoyance.

She knew where Din was coming from, she knew Voros was a deadly man, but to her, it was all the more reason for her to go after him, to end him.

She moved past her disappointment and followed him up to the cockpit. 

“So where are we going next?” She asked, not wanting to let their tiff get in their way and leave them trapped in an awkward silence no one was willing to break.

“I’m meeting with someone from our old crew.”

“Really?” She asked in excitement. “I knew them too?”

“Yes.” Sensing her eagerness, her excitement that their old partners might be able to jog her memory in any way had him stepping in quickly. “He’s not a good man. I’m only taking this job because we need credits and he’s offering a lot.” 

“Oh.” 

Hearing the disappointment in her voice only had his shoulders slumping yet again, feeling like a failure for the second time that morning. 

“Why did we work with him?”

“Opportunity, we didn’t have many. It was better to get a hang of the job with a group, more people to watch your back. Once we felt we didn’t need them anymore, we left.” He explained vaguely.

He left out a lot of the details, particularly Xi’an’s jealous rage over their relationship that made her place a target on Iella’s back. It was easy for Din to make the decision to leave the second he noticed the Twi’lek’s refusal to watch Iella’s back on a particularly dangerous job.

He knew they weren’t safe with them. 

He soon landed in Ran’s hanger, turning the ship off, a nervous, gut twisting anxiety settling in his stomach. 

“It shouldn’t take long. You keep the ship locked and you don’t leave, ok? Ran can’t be trusted, I don’t want you wandering around here.”

“And he probably thinks I’m dead, right.” Iella said, filling in the blanks, saying what Din wouldn’t. 

Din flinched slightly, the words itching at something inside him that dreaded to hear her say it. “Yes.” He said softly.

Grabbing his weapons, he prepared for his leave. Iella stood to face him, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. 

“Be safe.” 

Din nodded. “I will. And remember-”

“Stay here and keep the ship locked.” She finished for him. 

Din sighed softly. She wasn’t yelling at him like last time, but he could tell she was still annoyed at their predicament. She wasn’t happy sitting on the sidelines. But he would rather have her angry at him than in Ran’s company. 

“I’ll see you soon.” He assured her, sparing one last quick look at her over his shoulder as he descended the cockpit and out of the ship. As soon as he stepped off the ramp, he closed it, making sure none of the workers milling around even got a glance inside. 

“Mando!” He turned, a grimace forming unintentionally as Ran approached him. “Is that you under that bucket?”

“Ran.” Din greeted coldly, shaking his hand. 

“I didn’t know if I’d ever see you in these parts again. It’s good to see you.” He clapped his hand on Din’s shoulder, forcing him to steel himself to not flinch away. “To be honest, I was surprised when you reached out to me. Cause I… I hear things. Like maybe you ain’t got what it takes anymore, like things between you and the Guild aren’t workin’ out.” 

Din stiffened, the intimidating visor of his helmet staring the man down. He knew his reputation suffered after he had lost Iella, that he had slacked on jobs. 

“I’ll be fine.’

“Well, you know, I wouldn’t blame you. I heard about what happened to your lil’ violet.” 

Ran’s nickname for his wife, one he hadn’t heard since they’d abandoned the group, threw him for a loop. He thought back to his younger self, how he’d sneer under his helmet everytime Ran would call her that. 

His prolonged silence had Ran raising his arms in surrender. “Well, you know the policy. No questions asked.” 

“So what’s the job?” Din asked, wanting to get this over with so he could get back to the ship and get him, Iella and the kid away from this place.

“One of our associates ran afoul of some competitors and got himself caught. So I’m putin’ together a crew to spring him. It’s a five person job, I got four. All I need is the ride, and you brought it.” Ran explained, eyeing the Razor Crest.

Din’s heart jumped, his stomach twisting into knots. 

“The ship wasn’t part of the deal.” He argued sternly, hoping Ran wouldn’t notice the urgency, the fear in his voice. 

“Well, the Crest is the only reason I let you back in here.”

Din’s mind raced, trying to come up with an excuse, a solution, but he was coming up empty. If he could race back to the ship before the rest of the group, hide Iella and the kid in the bunk, lock the doors, tell her not to make any noise, he might be able to get through it without having anyone know her presence. 

But it was unlikely. 

He panicked silently as Ran showed him around, introducing him to the crew. Mayfeld seemed cocky, Din could tell they wouldn’t get along well. Burg was intimidatingly huge. And the droid… well, was a droid. 

“I thought you said you had four?” He asked Ran, noticing the numbers hadn’t added up.

“He does.”

The unnerving feeling in the pit of his stomach only tripled at the sound of her voice. He turned to face her slowly, his brain working hard to find a way to flee, to keep the woman away from him and the ship and the people inside it. 

“Hello, Mando.” 

“Xi’an.” 

“Tell me why I shouldn’t cut you down where you stand?” She said cooly, swiftly lunging at him and pointing her knife at his covered neck. 

“Nice to see you, too.” He drawled, unamused.

Xi’an smiled widely, leaning up closer to his helmet, making him shift his head back away from her. 

“I missed you. And I was so, very sorry to hear about sweet little Iella.” She crooned to him, sarcasm and bitterness seeped in her voice. “I bet you’re awfully lonely now, aren’t you?” She smiled at him widely, sultry and teasingly. It made his stomach turn. 

The way she had treated Iella all those years ago still left him on edge and brimming with fury. Xi’an had some sort of vendetta against her as soon as it became obvious he had loved her and not the Twi’lek. 

“Do we need to leave the room or something?” Mayfeld joked, looking at the two of them with disgust.

Din rolled his eyes as they all laughed. He stayed silent as they continued to joke around with each other, regretting his decision more and more with each second. He listened to them explain the job, his stomach twisting with knots with the more information he got.

He’d protested, but there was no use. They were adamant that they needed him for the prison break. He couldn’t get himself out of this.

He marched past the others, quickly making his way inside the ship before them.

“El.” He urgently called out in a hissed whisper. 

He heard her footsteps above in the cockpit before she made her way down the ladder. His hands were on her in an instant, guiding her towards the bunk hastily. 

“Whoa, what-”

“You have to hide.” He whispered to her desperately. 

“Well, well, who’s this?” 

Din squeezed his eyes shut, his jaw clenching tightly, his heart beginning to race as he heard Mayfeld’s voice behind him. 

It was too late. 

Iella took a step over, looking over Din’s shoulder to get a look at the people who were coming onto the ship, which instantly made him move with her, standing in front of her protectively. 

“What’s your name, Darling?” Mayfeld called out to her charmingly.

Iella’s face fell at the pet name, the same one Voros used to call her. Din reached back, taking her hand in his tightly. He knew what that would do to her, what images were now crossing her mind just at the mere use of the pet name. 

He kept his gaze locked onto Mayfeld, wishing the man could see his deadly glare, his silent threat to stop talking to his wife. 

Xi’an stepped forward slowly, her jaw falling slack as she stared back at the familiar, violet haired woman she hated. 

“W-what… is this a joke?” She spat out, eyeing her up and down with disdain. “You’re supposed to be dead.” 

Iella’s eyes widened with surprise at the bluntness of the woman’s words and she instinctively moved in closer to Din. 

“This is the broad Xi was talkin’ about? The dead one?” Mayfeld asked, a smile growing, like he found the situation amusing. He suddenly let out a loud chuckle and turned to face the Twi’lek. “Guess you’re outta luck with him.” 

Iella’s face twisted with confusion at the comment, looking at Din curiously, but his helmet covered glare remained on the crew in front of him. A feeling of dread settled in her gut at the implication of his comment, the idea it placed in her mind. 

The thought of the Twi’lek with Din, holding him, wrapped around him, her hands holding onto his helmet as she gently lifted… Iella stopped her train of thought, the sick feeling in her stomach only growing the more she thought of the two of them together.

Had Din lied to her? He’d told her they were married, that he knew from the moment he had met her that she was the one for him. Had he strayed? 

The thought had unfamiliar emotions swell within her, making her feel uneasy. 

Iella noticed the fury brimming in the woman’s eyes as she looked at her, her expression one of shock as she looked her up and down calculatingly, making Iella repress a shiver. She could tell they hadn’t been friends before. 

“How are you alive?” Xi’an questioned, the tone of her voice making it clear she wasn’t happy about her supposed resurrection.

“I- uhh…” Iella stammered. She obviously had no recollection, no answers about the crash that had almost taken her life. 

Xi’an’s face twisted, her look of shock dissipating as she began to smile widely as she started to put the pieces together. Her nervous and stuttering words and the unfamiliarity in her gaze gave her an idea. 

“You, uhh, what?” The woman teased with a wicked smile. “Is there trouble in paradise?” She coaxed happily, her eyes moving from Iella to the Mandalorian. 

“Enough.” Din snarled, the uncomfortable look on Iella’s face stirring his fierce protectiveness over her. 

Xi’an only laughed, throwing her head back in amusement. She stepped forward, sending him a quick glare as she stood only inches from him, making him tense. 

“Easy, Mando. We’re just having fun, like the old days right, El?” 

Din’s body stiffened at the sound of her name coming from Xi’an’s mouth. He had to fight hard to keep his body from jerking forward and ripping her hand off his wife when she placed her arm over her shoulder.

Sensing the tension, Mayfeld stepped forward, getting in between the delighted Xi’an, the nervous Iella and the furious Mandalorian. . 

“Alright, alright, we don’t got time for this. You can have your lover’s quarrel after we finish the job.” 

Xi’an raised her hands in surrender, thankfully for Iella, making her alleviate her touch, and she walked away without another word, though her wicked smirk never moved an inch. 

Din reached out, taking Iella’s hand in his as he led her to take a seat next to him. Sensing her unease, he tightened his hand in hers, cursing himself for ending up in this mess and for dragging her into it. 

Iella watched as the enormous Devaronian paced the length of the ship, his curious eyes roaming over every inch. He started to press buttons on the control panel in front of him, smiling devilishly as the weapons cache opened. 

He reached forward, eager to grab what he could, but Din acted fast, closing the cache with the button on his vambrace. The Devaronian growled in anger, turning to face the Mandalorian, his shoulders squared as he readied himself for confrontation.

Din stood from his seat, taking a threatening step forward the same moment Burg did, making them stand toe to toe with each other. 

“Ok, ok, easy. I’m a little particular about my personal space, too. So let’s just do this job.” Mayfeld called out, quickly trying to diffuse the growing tension. “We get in, we get out and you don’t have to see our faces anymore.”

Iella held back the biting comment that came to mind immediately. With the way Xi’an was still scowling at her, she didn’t want any more attention placed on her.

“Why do we even need a Mandalorian?” Burg questioned.

“Apparently, they’re the greatest warriors in the galaxy.”

“Then why are they all dead?”

Iella clenched her fists tight, her teeth grinding together as she fought hard not to lash out at the crew laughing darkly. 

“Well, you flew with him, Xi’an. Is he as good as they say?” 

Xi’an smiled to herself. “Ask him about the job on Alzoc three.” 

Din felt his blood run cold. He knew what he did on that job was cutthroat, he knew he had acted out. He had to do a lot of grovelling to Iella after that job, convince her that he wasn’t a monster for how he had reacted. 

She had gotten hurt and he couldn’t contain his rage. He had scared her, he knew that, and he spent every year after with her doing his best to prove he wasn’t like Xi’an and the rest of their bloodthirsty crew. 

  
  


“I did what I had to.” He explained vaguely, sparing a look at Iella who looked back at him confused and slightly worried. 

Xi’an just laughed, rolling her eyes at his words. “Oh, but you liked it. Protecting your little princess was all you cared about and you didn’t care who got in your way. Isn’t that right?” She asked, directing her attention back on Iella who shifted under her gaze.

“See, I know who you really are. You like the hunt, you like to spill blood, you would’ve killed thousands of people if you had to, not like your princess here. That’s why you left, wasn’t it? You knew she couldn’t keep up.” 

Iella fought back a scoff.  _ If she could see me now,  _ she thought to herself bitterly. But she couldn’t deny that Xi’an was getting under her skin. The implication that she knew Din, had connected with him better than Iella ever did, had her stomach twisting with nerves. 

“Are the stories true? He never takes off the helmet?” Mayfeld asked. 

“This is the way.” Xi’an mocked, only pushing Iella’s patience further. It was taking a monumental amount of self control to not lunge at her and show the Twi’lek who she really was now. 

“I wonder what you look like under there. Maybe he’s a gungan.” Mayfeld speculated with a devious smirk. “Is that why yousa don’t wanna show your face?” He teased. 

Iella looked to Din, as if waiting for him to make his move, to shut them up, but he stayed perfectly still, his visored gaze not giving anything away. It drove her crazy.

“You ever seen his face?” Mayfeld asked Xi’an who gasped, as if the question was too scandalous to answer. 

“A lady never tells.” She drawled, her eyes moving to Iella as she smirked, as if just waiting for her to react.

Iella schooled her expression, trying her hardest to keep it neutral, to not give Xi’an the pleasure of cracking under her prodding.

“Aw, c’mon, Mando. We all gotta trust each other here. You gotta show us something. Just lift the helmet up.” 

Burg took a menacing step towards Din and Iella couldn’t keep her emotions in check any longer. She sprung to her feet and unsheathed the knife she kept at her belt, pointing it at the Devaronian’s neck.

“You take another step and I’ll gut you like a fish.” She threatened through gritted teeth.

Burg turned to face her, a look of genuine shock on his face at her outburst. Xi’an let out a shrieking laugh, thoroughly thrilled at Iella’s words, believing the woman truly didn’t have it in her to commit such an act of violence. 

Brushing off his initial surprise, Burg smiled down at her, his sights now leaving Din in favour of her. 

“Is that right? Little birdie wants to play?” He taunted and reached out, taking a lock of her hair in between his fingers. 

Din acted immediately.

He lunged forward, grabbing Burg’s arm and wrenching his grip off of his wife. Burg fought back, ripping Din’s arm off him and swinging his fist out. Din ducked, moving to grab his arm again, wanting to break it for ever reaching out to his wife. He pushed the Devaronian back against the wall behind him. 

Burg stumbled to find his footing, his hand involuntarily pressing against the control panel behind him, opening the door to the bunk. 

Iella’s face fell with horror as the crew got to their feet, their eyes locked onto the now exposed child. She wanted nothing more than to strike them all down with a single swipe of her knife and take the child into her arms. 

“Whoa! What the hell is that?” Mayfeld laughed, stepping closer to the child who looked back at him curiously. “Did you two make that?” He asked Xi'an. “Cause that thing sure as hell didn’t come from you.” He said, looking over his shoulder as his eyes raked up and down the length of Iella’s body.

Din tensed, gearing himself up for yet another brawl, but Iella stepped forward, placing her hand on his arm. He let out a staggering breath, her touch calming him just the slightest amount. 

“What is it? Like a pet or something?”

“Yeah, something like that.” Din replied tersely. 

“Didn’t take you for the type.” Xi’an said, looking at Din curiously. “I knew princess here would turn you soft.” She sneered. 

Iella didn’t bother to spare a look at Xi’an. Her eyes stayed locked onto Mayfeld, every inch of her body locking with agitation as he lifted the child into his arms. She breathed heavily, forcing herself not to act now, not when the child was at risk of getting hurt. 

No, she would have to wait to kill Mayfeld. 

She could feel Din stiff as stone beside her, his hard muscles tensing beneath her touch. He flinched as Mayfeld pretended to drop the child, his anger rising exponentially. 

Mayfeld laughed at his reaction, satisfied that they’d successfully gotten under Din’s skin, that they had the upper hand. He looked to Iella, hoping to see the look of horror they wouldn’t get to see on the Mandalorian, but instead he tensed, his smile falling when he looked at her.

Iella stood still, her expression dark, her eyes fierce with fury. The calmness to her anger was unsettling, putting both Mayfeld and Xi’an on edge. The Twi’lek looked at Iella intently, confusion washing over her.

She’d never seen the woman look so murderous before. It was so unlike the woman she used to know. Everything about her was different. 

“Dropping out of hyperspace now.” Zero’s voice came in through the comms, interrupting the tense moment. 

The warning came just a fraction of a second before the ship lurched harshly, causing everyone to stumble off their feet. Din moved quickly, wrapping his arm around Iella’s waist, securing her to his chest as they fell so his back took the brunt of the fall. 

“Shit, you ok?” She asked him worriedly once she heard his stifled groan.

“Fine.” He gritted out, holding her tightly as they continued to get jerked around like ragdolls. Iella stifled a scream as they fell abruptly. 

They ended up on the floor, Din atop Iella, nose to… well, helmet. The couple paused, the position seeming eerily familiar to both of them. Iella seemed transfixed, lost in the moment. The way his arms encased her, the weight of his body on hers, it caused the briefest of images to flash through her mind, one that made a blush form on her cheeks. 

But Din could remember it like it was yesterday, the last time they were in such a position. The memory only made his chest ache at what they no longer had. He cleared his throat and quickly sat up, reaching out to help her steady herself. 

He looked around frantically, sighing in relief when he saw the child. A growl slipped past his lips at the knowledge that Mayfeld had dropped him so carelessly and he quickly scooped him into his arms, holding him close.

Iella leaned in, her fingers gently rubbing his wrinkled forehead, causing the baby to let out a soft coo. 

“Are you ok, little one?” She spoke softly, the gentle, mothering tone to her voice only leaving Din feeling more agonized. He quickly got to his feet, placing the child back in the bunk and closing the door. 

“Useless droid didn’t even give us a proper countdown.” Xi’an hissed angrily. 

Iella brushed herself off, getting to her feet with a groan. She patted her belt, making sure her knife was where it should be, but with the people that surrounded her, she felt the need for more. 

She opened Din’s weapon locker and quickly strapped a few more knives to her belt, already feeling more comfortable with the weight of them on her. 

“Whoa, whoa, what’s this? You’re coming too?” Mayfeld asked her, eyeing the weaponry strapped to her wearily. 

“Yeah.” She responded, unbothered by the annoyance in his voice. 

Din’s head snapped up, his gaze finding her. Even from behind the helmet, she could tell he was worried, that he was hating her decision and if the others weren’t there, he’d be begging her not to. 

But he stayed quiet. The group already found a crack in his armour with his creed and the child. He didn’t need them using Iella against him too. 

“This should be fun.” Xi’an drawled happily, eyeing Iella with a particularly mischievous smirk. 

Her words had Din almost forgetting everything he’d told himself about being cautious and wanting to drag Iella into his arms, threatening Xi’an if she even looked at his wife again. Dread settled within his stomach knowing he couldn’t, that he was putting her in danger by letting her go on this job.

He watched as the others made their way through the hatch on the floor into the prison. He kneeled next to Iella, slowly putting his hand over hers, stopping her before she could make her way down. 

“Are you sure you want to do this?” He asked her quietly. She nodded slowly, though he could see the hesitance, the unease in her gaze.

“But the kid-”

“Will be fine.” She interrupted him. “I’m more worried about you.” 

Din tried his hardest to ignore the fluttering of excited nerves that burst within him at her words. He pushed past his desire to reach out to her, to show just how much he appreciated her worry for him, her care for him that never wavered, even when she didn’t remember him.

He looked down, shifting uneasily at the thought of her working with them, of being goaded into acting like that ruthless assassin she wasn’t anymore. 

“Don’t listen to a word they say.” He whispered to her, desperation laced in his voice. 

He hoped to every god that existed that this wouldn’t ruin her, that these people wouldn’t push her to be what she wasn’t. He hoped the damage wasn’t already done with Xi’an’s constant teasing. 

He couldn’t handle any more steps backwards. 


	12. Chapter 12

As soon as Iella had jumped down into the prison, Xi’an’s eyes were locked onto her. There was a delighted glint in the Twi’lek’s eyes, like she was just waiting for Iella to mess up, get herself killed, prove that she was useless just like the woman believed her to be.

Xi’an knew Iella, the real her, she knew what she was like on jobs, how pragmatic and gentle she was. Xi’an remembered a particular job where the woman had veered off from the path to help a group of people who were caught in the crossfire.

She’d almost blown their cover, something the Twi’lek would not let her forget for the rest of their time together. 

Iella’s big heart was the thing Xi’an hated most about her. That and the fact that she held the Mandalorian’s attention so effortlessly. 

Xi’an sneered to herself as Mando hauled himself down from the ship and immediately made his way to _her_ side. The way his hand found the small of _her_ back protectively, the way he grabbed her hand to keep her at his side as they made their ways through the halls of the prison _,_ lit that familiar fire of jealousy within her. 

Xi’an straightened her shoulders, pushing past the desire to act that very second. She’d have to wait for their plan. She’d get her revenge soon enough.

The group stealthily made their way through the complicated path Zero guided them through. The way they moved from hall to hall, ducking around corners carefully, it was all too eerily familiar for Iella. 

Images flashed through her mind, images of her in that damn cat suit, her face hardened and dark with the desire to spill blood. She had been stealthy and deadly, it was what Voros had trained her to do. 

It made her stomach turn. 

Din looked over at her, checking yet again, to make sure she was ok. Being around the group, a part of the mission, didn’t sit right with him. His brows furrowed in concern at the haunted look in her eyes, one he was used to seeing on her face when she was lost in thought. 

She hadn’t disclosed to him just where her mind went during those moments, he hadn’t asked. He hadn’t needed to because he knew. 

She was thinking about herself, the new self that she had been manipulated to be. 

Without thinking, he reached over, gently brushing his gloved fingers against hers. She startled out of her thoughts and looked over at him, a weak, sheepish smile on her face when she realized he’d noticed her distraction. 

Din held his hand in hers, squeezing tightly, a silent comfort that he was there, that he would protect her. 

It sent Iella’s heart racing. 

It didn’t take long for the plan to go awry. Iella rolled her eyes, holding back every scathing comment she wanted to yell at the stupid Devaronian as he shot the mouse droid. It didn’t take long for the security droids to follow, their thundering footsteps echoing through the halls as they turned the corner, their weapons pointed at them the moment they spotted them. 

_“Intruder alert. Open fire.”_

“Shit.” Iella hissed and quickly pressed herself against a cell door, hidden by the beams in the wall for protection. 

“Come with me.” Din whispered in her ear and before she could respond he was grabbing her hand and dragging her back with him.

Iella sputtered, looking over her shoulder at the others. 

“Are we really just gonna leave them there?” She asked, not exactly worried for their safety after how they’d acted, but there was a part of her that didn’t feel right just abandoning them. Din didn’t answer her, but as he guided her around the corner, meeting at the adjoining hallway, placing them just behind the security droids, she understood just what he had planned. 

“You good to cover me?” He asked and she nodded, holding back the smile that almost appeared at his question.

“Always.” She breathed out. 

Din paused, his body going rigid for a moment, before he shook himself from the intense emotions that flooded him at her answer that was all too familiar and comfortable for him. 

Taking the anger that grew at the remembrance of what was taken from him, what was taken from _her,_ it fueled him in his fight as he unsheathed the knife at his belt and raced into action. Sliding across the floor, he side swept one droid while stabbing the other at his side. 

Iella watched with fascination as he fought. He kicked and shot the droids in front of him, the movement of his body pulling her in, leaving her knees feeling weak in a way that was so strange to her. 

Shaking herself from her thoughts, she moved forward, seeing Din’s body flinch as a shot hit his armour, throwing her into action. 

She ran forward, throwing a knife as she did, dropping one droid that had its blaster raised towards him. Once it fell at his feet, he turned on his heel and watched with a barely constrained smile as Iella fought by his side. 

She jumped on the back of one droid, jamming her knife into the wiring in its neck. She grit her teeth with effort, a low groan leaving her lips and she grasped its head and pulled with all her might until it detached from its shoulders, it’s mechanical body falling limp beneath her. 

Din felt arousal cloud over him at her actions for a moment before quickly moving past that blind urge to grab her and have his way with her and getting his head back in the game. 

He would definitely be thinking of that later. 

Din let out a groan as he was grabbed by his lapels and pushed against the wall behind him. _Serves me right for getting distracted,_ he thought to himself. He dodged the hits that came his way easily, ripping a piece of the droid and throwing it across the hall, hitting the droid facing his wife, causing it to fall to the ground. 

The remaining droid shot Din in the chest, causing him to fall to the floor with a groan, the reverb from his beskar making his chest ache. Iella grabbed the droid by the arm, harshly snapping it downwards before the droid could shoot again. 

She pulled hard, dragging the droid in front of her and kicking the back of its legs, forcing it to its knees. Din got to his feet and pulled his blaster, Iella having placed the target perfectly in view as he shot the droid in its head. 

She let go, letting the droid fall to the floor. Din was by her side in a second, his eyes scanning every inch of her he could see, an instinctual act he never would stop. 

He smiled behind his helmet, his heart racing with an intensity he hadn’t felt in a long time. “Thanks for having my back.” 

She nodded slightly, a small smile forming. She just hoped he wouldn’t see the blush on her cheeks. Turning her attention back to the others, she quickly hid her emotions, her body going rigid as they eyed her up and down pensively. 

Mayfeld looked like he was in disbelief as he looked at her with scrutiny. He shook his head, blowing out a long breath through his lips and passed by Din, his shoulder hitting his harshly.

“Make sure you clean up your mess.” 

Iella watched the group walk past them, stiffening at the thoughtful look Xi’an gave her as she passed, a slight menacing hiss escaping her as she did, only fueling Iella’s distrust for her. 

Once they passed, she looked over at Din, only to find him already looking at her. 

“It’s too late to back out, right?” She whispered and he sighed, bowing his head, which gave her his answer. 

“Come on.” He urged, placing his hand on the small of her back to guide her as they walked, following the rest of the group. Iella suppressed a shiver at his touch, forcing herself not to visibly show just what he did to her. 

“Stay close.” He whispered to her, leaning in close to avoid the others from hearing. Iella knew she didn’t hold back the shiver and she knew Din had noticed by the way his helmeted gaze seemed to be locked onto her as he seemingly froze, all his attention placed right on her. 

Din couldn’t speak, the lump in his throat growing extremely tight, it rendered him breathless. Her reaction, her shiver, it almost seemed too good to be true. 

He reminded himself that he couldn’t act now. He had to wait, at least until Xi’an and the rest of the sketchy group were out of their way. 

He longed to reach out to Iella, to pull her into his arms, kiss her like he wanted, like he missed doing. He would have to wait, he knew that, but he knew he couldn’t hold himself any longer. He was acting like that innocent, scared young man he was when he first met her. He would be embarrassed if he wasn’t so damn relieved to know she was feeling exactly the same feelings as him. 

“Z, open the door.” Mayfeld ordered as they approached where the droid had led them. 

“I’m detecting an organic signature-”

“Yeah, yeah, ok, just open the door!” He urged, ignoring the droid’s warnings.

“Wait, what did he say about-”

“Shhh!” Mayfeld turned to her, stopping whatever misgivings she’d had. Iella rolled her eyes and motioned for him to go first, knowing exactly what was waiting for him behind the closed door.

She wasn’t surprised in the slightest when the door hissed open to reveal a republic worker, pointing his blaster at them, exactly what Zero had warned them of. Everyone in the group had their weapons pointed at the man, ready for him to strike. 

“Stop right there! Put down your blasters right now.”

“There were only supposed to be droids on this ship.” Din accused as the rest of the group strode into the room with an unmatched confidence, circling the republic officer who was shaking in his boots. 

“Let’s see here….cell 221. We got it.” Mayfeld spoke, ignoring Din completely. 

The shaking officer reached into his pocket, pulling out a tracking beacon, making everyone in the room twitch and tighten their grips on their weapons that were steadily trained on the scared man. 

“Whoa, whoa, ok. Easy, just put that down.”

The officer turned in a circle, his blaster pointing at each of them with a shaking grip, which only made Mayfeld pull his weapon, pointing it at the terrified man. 

“Easy, it’s ok. Nobody has to get hurt here. Just calm down.” Din interjected, his harsh tone directed at Mayfeld. 

Iella looked at the man intently, her heart racing and her hands trembling on her weapon that was pointed at him. Every instinct within her told her to kill him, every bit of training she remembered from Voros told her to kill him.

It was exactly that instinct that has her lowering her weapon shamefully, her eyes cast downwards with confliction. 

“What is that thing?” Blurg called out dumbly. 

“It’s a tracking beacon.”

“He presses that thing, we’re all done. A new republic attack team will hone in on that signal and blow us all to hell.” Mayfeld explained.

“All the more reason to get the hell out of here and get the job done.” Iella told him sternly. 

Xi’an scoffed, rolling her eyes in exasperation. “You really think it’s gonna be that easy, princess?” 

“Are you proposing another way to get us out of this?” Iella countered harshly, making Xi’an hiss and pull a knife from her belt, pointing it towards her. 

Din stepped forward, blocking Iella from Xi’an’s view. 

“Enough.” He spat and turned to the republic officer. “What’s your name?” 

“D-davan.” The man answered nervously. 

“Davan, we’re not here for you. Just let us do what we need to do and I promise you, we won’t hurt you, ok?” He reasoned with him. 

Xi’an scoffed again at Din’s words, pretending to vomit at his attempt to reason with the man. Mayfeld sneered and raised his blaster.

“Like hell we’re letting him go.”

Din acted quickly, pointing his blaster at him, causing the ex-Imperial to scowl at the Mandalorian in anger. 

“Get that blaster out of my face, Mando!” He yelled.

Burg raised his weapon and Iella quickly followed, her long knife pointed at his jugular in warning. Seeing Burg turn his gaze to Iella, Din acted on instinct, pulling another blaster and holding its target on the Devaronian, making sure he could drop the man before he even took a step in her direction. 

Before anyone could get another word in, a knife flew across the room, hitting Davan in the throat and he stumbled to the ground motionless. 

Iella’s jaw dropped and she lowered her weapon, her eyes locked onto the innocent man who now lay dead on the floor. 

She turned on her heel, her face dark with anger as she met Xi’an’s gaze who just smirked at her in response, as if wanting her to act out, to scold her for her careless actions.

Iella got the feeling it wouldn’t have been the first time.

“Would you all just shut up?” Xi’an drawled in amusement, smirking at the others who looked at her in shock. 

Iella tightened her fists together, her anger rising at the Twi’lek’s actions. She felt the loose grip on her control beginning to slip, Xi’an’s actions only pushing her to the brink more and more with each passing second. 

Din reached out, his hand finding hers. He didn’t like the look on her face, it worried him and he wanted nothing more than to grab her and take her far away from here, far away from them. But he couldn’t. They had to finish the job, so holding her hand was the best he could offer in that moment.

“Was that thing blinking before?” Mayfeld asked, catching their attention to the device that Davan had held.

_“Zero to Mayfeld. I’ve detected a New Republic distress signal honing in on your location. You have approximately 20 minutes”,_ The droid’s voice called out through the comms. 

Iella threw her hands up in exasperation and sighed dramatically. 

“Is this the first job you idiots have ever been on? This is fucking ridiculous.” She muttered, running her hands through her hair.

“Hey, easy, Darling. I doubt you would be doin’ much better.” Mayfeld snapped at her. Din’s body went rigid and he took a step to the side, shielding Iella’s body on instinct, as if worried that the ex-Imperial would act out further against her. 

When he made no move, Din’s rigid body relaxed slightly, but he made no move to step aside, to not shield her from the others. 

“Come on, we gotta move.” 

The group ran out of the security pod, Iella sparing a look back at the innocent that had fallen by their hands. She reached out, grabbing Din’s arm who was frozen in his spot, looking down at the dead man. He looked up at her touch and, even through his helmet, Iella could practically see his discomfort. 

This wasn’t what they had signed up for, but there was no way around it. They just had to do the job and be done with it. 

“Come on.” She urged quietly. He tore his gaze from the man and tightened his grip in hers as he let her lead him forward. 

They blindly followed the group to the cell they had been looking for. Iella didn’t know what it was for, who they were looking for, and frankly, she didn’t care. As long as it was over soon, that was all that mattered to her. 

Soon, they had made it to cell 221. 

“Z, open it up.”

The door hissed open, revealing a male Twi’lek who looked in shock at the people who stood before him.

“Qin.” Din breathed out in disbelief. Iella looked at him questioningly, it sounded like there was history there and she hated that she couldn’t remember. It left her feeling useless. 

Qin got to his feet, smirking slightly at the Mandalorian and the woman at his side. 

“Well, well, long time no see, little violet.” He drawled, looking Iella up and down, making her tense and lean into Din beside her who was all too willing to grab her hand tightly and pull her into his side. 

He laughed at their display, their obvious protection for one another that gave away their weakness so easily and he shook his head. “Funny, the people who left me behind are now my saviours.” 

Iella furrowed her brows, searching whatever memories she had for the answer she was desperately looking for, the answer to who this man was, how she knew him and what she did to him, but she came up empty.

Suddenly, in the blink of an eye, Din was shoved forward into the cell, the door closing behind him before she could even act. She almost yelled his name, his real name, but she thankfully stopped herself, only letting a pathetic sounding whimper escape her. 

Strong arms wrapped around her tightly, keeping her from reaching for her weapons. She growled in annoyance, kicking her legs frantically, desperately trying to wrench her way out of the tight grip.

“No, no, no, you’re stayin’ with us, Darling.” Mayfeld whispered in her ear. 

Iella grit her teeth, red hot fury coursing through her veins. She kicked her foot back, landing a sharp strike to Mayfeld’s ankle. He cried out in pain, his grip loosening around her. She squirmed out of his arms and before he could even take a step towards her she kicked her foot out again, her blow landing straight to his crotch. 

“El, go!” Din yelled from the cell, his hands gripping the bars tightly as he watched with fear. 

She couldn’t even revel in the satisfaction of watching Mayfeld fall to his knees with a groan, his hands grabbing at his crotch that was throbbing from her hard kick. She got to her feet and sprinted forward, dodging the incoming blaster shots that came her way and turned the nearest corner.

Din tightened his grip on the bars, the metal creaking beneath his grip. He could feel his body practically vibrating with anger, with the desire to rip them all apart for even trying to come after her. 

“If you touch her-”

“Oh save it, Mando. I’ve heard it all before. You’ll track me down and kill me if I hurt a hair on her pretty little head.” Xi’an interrupted his growled warning. 

Behind his helmet, his jaw was clenched, his face twisted with anger. He could feel the slight trembling in his hands, the fear for his wife that wormed its way to the forefront until it was all consuming.

“Thing is, you won’t be able to stop me this time.” The Twi’lek smiled sweetly in delight and turned on her heel to walk away. “You deserve this!” She yelled out as she walked away. 

Din watched them all run away and slammed his fist into the metal door, letting lose a feral growl of anger. 

~~

Iella was panting heavily, looking over her shoulder frantically with every few steps she took. She felt panic swelling within her, threatening to overtake her, threatening to render her useless. She skidded to a stop and pressed herself against the wall behind her, straining her ears as she heard running footsteps in the distance.

Her body went rigid and she reached down, grabbing the knife at her hip and gripping it tightly as the footsteps grew closer. 

“She couldn’t have gotten far.” She heard Mayfeld say to the others from the adjacent hallway. 

“The princess is useless, we’ll take her down easily.” Xi’an sneered.

“Did you see the way she took down those droids!?” Mayfeld yelled at her. “Little princess isn’t as innocent as you think.” 

Iella listened carefully, preparing herself for the moment they would find her. But it didn’t come. Suddenly, the lights cut off, blanketing the prison in complete darkness for a few seconds before the emergency lights kicked in, casting an ominous red glow. 

From the security room, Din watched the monitors. His body was thrumming with anger as he saw the group only meters away from where Iella was hiding. With careful timing, he slammed his hand against the button on the console, shutting the doors in quick succession, herding the crew where he wanted them, away from his wife. 

He blocked them off easily, one press of the button separating them, causing them to panic frantically. 

“I’m gonna kill that goddamn princess.” Xi’an hissed as she and Burg stomped down their only path. 

Din tensed, having heard her words through the speakers on the console, his hands clenching into fists. He had to find a way to take them out before they found her. 

With her knife tightly gripped in her hand, Iella began to walk again, taking slow, careful steps forward. Her heart raced within her chest, as if just waiting for one of them to jump out in front of her. 

She felt her old instinct beginning to take over, like a numbness spreading throughout her entire body, but she fought it. She didn’t want to revert to her old ways, well, new ways, if she was being technical.

She didn’t want to be that person. She didn’t want to act like the cold blooded assassin she was. 

Even if her life was on the line, she didn’t feel comfortable using what Voros had taught her as a way to survive. 

Iella suddenly stopped in her tracks, her brows furrowing. She could hear the distant sound of fighting, the unmistakable sounds of grunts of effort and of fists hitting flesh. 

_Din._

Without another thought, she ran forward, following the noise. 

As soon as she turned the corner, racing towards Din, she crashed into another body, causing both of them to fall to the floor with a groan. Iella stumbled to her feet, shaking herself from the pain in her back. 

Her eyes soon widened, her stance going rigid in defense as she saw Xi’an across from her, a sickly satisfied smirk on her face. 

“Well, well, Princess. Looks like it's just you and me.” She crooned, pulling her knives from her belt. 

“I don’t wanna fight you.”

Xi’an scoffed and rolled her eyes in annoyance. “Of course you don’t. Perfect little Iella wouldn’t hurt anyone.” She goaded, her voice laced with disgust.

Iella looked confused, not understanding where the woman’s hatred for her came from. Before she could even make a move, Xi’an was throwing a knife her way. Iella ducked quickly and acted on instinct, kicking a leg out and tripping the Twi’lek, causing her knife to be thrown off kilter, embedding itself in the wall behind Iella. 

Xi’an yelled in frustration and launched herself at the woman, knives thrown every second, her anger fueling her attack. 

But it made her sloppy. 

Iella expertly dodged eached attack, throwing a fist out, catching Xi’an in the nose, making her hiss in both pain and annoyance. Xi’an grabbed the last knife on her belt and twirled on her feet swiftly, slicing Iella in her arm with her blade.

She yelped in pain, dropping her own knife. 

Xi’an smiled widely in triumph and stepped towards her threateningly. 

“I can’t wait to see the look on Mando’s face when I bring him your head.” She taunted. Iella felt a sudden rage overtake her, one that felt eerily familiar to what she’d felt on Sorgan before she’d single-handedly taken out the entire troop of raiders and exposed her homicidal tendencies. 

The white hot rage dulled her emotions, her fear for Din, the worry she felt for the child. The only thing she felt was anger. 

Iella growled under breath and grit her teeth, moving fast. She ducked under the Twi’lek’s outstretched arms, kicking the woman behind the knees, making her fall. Iella grabbed the back of her head and smashed it in the wall in front of them. 

Xi’an’s cry of pain only kept her going. 

Grabbing her by the lekku, Iella hauled her to her feet and pushed her against the wall, turning her harshly. As soon as Xi’an’s head stopped spinning, she was met with a blade against her neck. 

Xi’an looked at Iella with horror, truly confused by her actions. Sure, Iella had been a good fighter when they had worked together, but this ruthless, dirty fighting was _not_ her. 

“What happened to you?” Xi’an breathed out in disbelief. 

Iella clenched her jaw, pressing the knife harder into the Twi’lek’s skin, making her wince and try to turn her head to avoid the blade, but to no avail. 

“Guess I’m not who you thought I was.” 

A look of fear flashed across Xi’an’s eyes at the careless tone of her voice, so unlike her. Her lip trembled slightly and she forced her eyes to look away. 

“What is it about you?” She asked suddenly. “I was willing to give him everything and all he saw was you.” She spat impassionedly. 

Iella paused, her grip on her knife loosening slightly. Xi’an’s words caught her off guard. She could see the insecurity in her eyes, she could see, despite all the hatred and the tough, careless act she put on, how desperate Xi’an was for _something._ For the slightest meaningful interaction.

“W-what?” She stammered dumbly.

“Mando only wanted his perfect Princess. No one else was ever good enough.” She spat and Iella got the feeling these were words she had wanted to yell in her face for a long time, words she hadn’t even processed herself. 

“I’m not perfect.” Iella muttered, as if to herself. Xi’an only sneered in disbelief.

“Then kill me. Prove you’re not that perfect, righteous woman who wouldn’t even hurt a fly. You’re weak, Iella, pathetic. Everyone knows it, even _him._ I don’t know what he sees in you-”

Iella breathed heavily, her face turned dark with anger as she pressed the knife against Xi’an’s throat even tighter, cutting off the rest of her sentence. The mention of Din, of his love for her not being real, set a fire under her skin. 

“El.”

She tensed, her hand stilling before she could slit the woman’s throat. She turned her head, her eyes finding Din who stood rigidly at the end of the hallway. 

She dropped the knife in her hands, not even noticing how Xi’an relaxed, her hand coming to run against her irritated throat that was rubbed raw by her blade. 

Din sighed in relief, the tensity of his shoulders sagging at her actions. But he knew better than to let his guard down with Xi’an. Despite the relief he felt that Iella hadn’t killed her gruesomely, didn’t mean he was letting her go. 

“Aww, Mando, did you come to rescue me? You always were a sweetheart.” Xi’an crooned in delight, letting out a pleased sound as he turned her harshly, taking her by the wrists as he guided her forward. “I knew you liked it rough.” 

Din rolled his eyes behind his helmet, ignoring her words. He looked over at his shoulder, motioning for iella to follow him, who did slowly, her uneasy glance flittering over at Xi’an every few seconds. 

“You know, Mando, El and I were just having a great talk. I think we both agreed that she can’t handle you, not like you _really_ need it. I can show you just what you’ve been missing all this time.” Xi’an taunted, her bravery coming back full stop now that she didn’t have a knife to her throat. 

Iella tensed, a feeling of embarrassment washing over her. She didn’t know if that were true, if she had left Din… unsatisfied during their time together. She blushed at the notion of the two of them together in that way, wrapped around each other, sweating and panting and moaning- she shook her head, forcing the thoughts from her head. 

Without another word, Din threw the Twi’lek into the cell that was already occupied by Mayfeld and Burg, who looked away shamefully at the Mandalorian they had failed to double cross. 

“Come on.” Din said lowly to her, grabbing her hand and guiding her with him. 

“Mando! You can’t do this! You know you’ll never be happy with that prissy bitch!” Xi’an yelled after him as they walked away. Iella flinched slightly at her words and her gaze lowered to the ground shamefully. 

She hated that she didn’t know if there was any truth to Xi’an’s statement or not. 

Din’s hand tightened in hers, giving the barest amount of comfort he could offer at the time, Xi’an’s words triggering anger to rush through him, anger that he tried hard to push away for Iell’a sake. 

“Are you ok?” He asked quietly, once they were a comfortable distance from the cell.

“Yeah.”

“You’re bleeding.” He pointed out and she looked down, suddenly remembering that Xi’an’s knife had gotten her.

“Oh... right.” 

Din felt fury course through his veins. The fear he felt when he saw her, just seconds away from killing Xi’an hadn’t dissipated in the slightest. Adrenaline was still coursing through his veins. Mixing with the almost incapacitating anger and fear he’d felt, left him feeling almost dizzy. 

He pulled her hand, making her fall in closer to his side as they walked. His body went rigid again, something she could meant he was getting serious, getting his head back in the job.

“Qin.” He called out sternly, stopping the male Twi’lek from climbing the ladder back to the ship. He turned on his heel, eyeing the couple warily. 

“You killed the others?” He asked, his voice downtrodden as if he already knew the answer.

“They got what they deserved.” Din replied vaguely. 

Qin’s lip twitched, his face drawing tightly with anger. He moved quickly, unsheathing the blaster at his hip, but Din was quicker, pointing his right back, stopping him from making another move.

“You kill me, you don’t get your money.” Qin argued, trying to make a deal. He looked over at Iella, letting out a slight laugh. “And you don’t really wanna do this infront of her, right?” 

Iella furrowed her brows. Why did everyone treat her like some innocent, precious, housewife? She shifted on her feet uncomfortably, her eyes unable to meet Qin’s. She didn’t want to be a cold blooded assassin, but being useless wasn’t any more desirable. 

“You were hired to do a job, right? So do it. Isn’t that your code? Aren’t you a man of honour?” Qin asked, holding out his hands to be cuffed, clearly preferring imprisonment to the alternative. 

Iella looked over at Din, his visored gaze giving nothing away. There were a few moments of tense silence before he finally sighed and holstered his blaster. 

“Get up.” He said tensely, motioning for him to make his way up the ladder into the ship. 

Iella looked confused and sent him a look over her shoulder. Din just grabbed her hand, squeezing tightly, as if asking for her to trust him. She nodded slightly, unable to deny the feeling inside her, as if it were instinct. 

Din made his way up the ladder first, not wanting Iella to have any second alone with Qin. Iella was making her way up behind him when she heard his blaster fire. She almost lost her footing and fell to the floor, but she held on tightly.

“Mando?!” She yelled worriedly, hurrying her way up into the ship. 

She sighed when she saw him standing, perfectly fine. Her eyes then found the droid on the floor, a sizzling hole in its head. Her face creased in confusion and it was then she looked up at the child that she understood. 

She let out a harsh breath and scrambled to her feet, rushing towards the child.

“Oh, honey, are you ok?” She cooed, bringing him into her arms, smiling slightly as he sighed in content and nuzzled into the crook of her neck.

“He’s fine, just a little shaken.” Din said softly, gently brushing a gloved finger against one of the child’s enormous ears. 

Iella smiled softly, looking up at Din happily. She barely ever saw him show affection to the child, but it left her insides turning to mush each time she did. Sensing her gaze on him, he turned his head and the soft look on her face, her small smile, rendered him speechless. 

They stared at each other for a few seconds before he cleared his throat and took a step back. “I’ll get the engine started. You watch him.” He said, motioning back to Qin who was already seated in the hull.

Iella watched him go, her shoulders sagging slightly. She held onto the child tightly, happily rocking him as Din piloted the ship back to the hangar. She stayed back as he landed and dispatched Qin. 

A loud, exasperated exhale left her as soon as Din made his way back onto the ship and closed the hatch behind him. He sighed right along with her. 

“Let’s get the hell outta here.” He muttered and quickly made his way back into the cockpit to fly them far away. Iella laughed slightly, happy to see the slightest moment of brevity from him after the excruciating day they’d had. 

She continued to rock the child softly until his big eyes slowly fell closed. Gently, she placed him in his pod, wrapping the blankets around him tightly. She hissed slightly, finally noticing the throbbing pain in her arm. 

She looked down and winced at the sight of the blood that saturated her arm and the sleeve of the shirt she wore. With a groan of pain, she peeled the shirt off her body, leaving her in only a too-small tank top. 

She rifled through the slim first aid kit Din kept on the ship. She pulled out a bacta patch and sat herself on the floor of the ship, laying out the bandages in front of her. She only just got to opening them when Din’s heavy footsteps began to make their way down from the cockpit.

His steps stopped abruptly when he saw her. First, worry crashed through him intensely at the sight of her bloodied arm, before he soon took notice of her skin on display. The revealing shirt she wore left little to the imagination, not that he needed his imagination with her, he had enough memories to last a lifetime. 

But it was more than he had seen in a long time. More than he thought he’d ever see again. 

He swallowed the lump in his throat and stepped closer, sitting himself down in front of her. 

“Do you need help?”

Iella was about to refuse, stating she could do it herself, but she stopped, noticing just how rigid he sat before her. It was for his benefit that she nodded slowly, holding out the bandages to him, which he took without hesitation. 

She winced slightly as he brushed over her cut with disinfectant and he looked up sharply, his hand reaching out to grab hers in comfort, an act she didn’t think he even noticed.

“Sorry.” He whispered to her and gently got back to work. “Are you ok?”

“Better now that it’s over.” She mused. “We really used to work with them?”

“Just Xi’an and Qin. The group didn’t last long.” 

“Yeah, I figured.” She mumbled and Din looked up at her, silently asking her to elaborate. “I just… I got the feeling Xi’an and I weren’t best friends.” She explained mildly and he sighed. 

“No. She was… difficult.” He said vaguely. 

Iella nodded, though she wasn’t exactly satisfied with his explanation, if you could even call it that. It was obvious the Twi’lek had a thing for Din, that she wanted to be with him, if only for just for a night. But, through no fault of her own, Din had his eyes set on her instead. 

She bowed her head, Xi’an’s words running through her head, making something deep within her ache with uncertainty. 

“She said I was useless, that I wasn’t… capable of anything.” 

“You had a big heart. You acted with kindness, they didn’t understand that.” Din explained quickly, wanting to squash those feelings before they arose. He had half a mind to fly back to the prison ship and berate Xi’an until he was blue in the face, but the downtrodden expression on his wife’s face had him unable to move, letting him know he was exactly where he needed to be in that moment. 

“She acted like I was different than the rest of you, that I didn’t belong in the group. Is that true?” 

Din sighed heavily, placing the bacta patch on her arm and leaning back on his hands, trying to figure out a way to explain her past to her. 

“The job was about justice for you. You didn’t like to kill, but you wanted bad people to pay for what they’d done. You just wanted to help people.” He told her softly, wincing when he saw the shadow of regret fall across her features at what she had become, how different she was manipulated to be. 

Din had to hold himself back from reaching out to her, from pulling her into his arms. 

“But the crew… they didn’t care about that. They liked to kill and they didn’t care if innocent people got caught in the crossfire along the way. You couldn’t stand that, so we left.”

“And you?”

Din looked at her blankly, her question making his heart race, scared to answer what he knew she was asking.

“Could you stand it?”

He bit his lip, his gaze falling away from her, unable to stand the inevitable look of disappointment in her eyes. 

“Yeah, back then I could.” He admitted regrettably. “Being a Mandalorian, I felt like I had a reputation to live up to, this pressure to be a ruthless killer.” 

“That’s not what being a Mandalorian is.” She blurted out and quickly snapped her mouth shut, a blush forming on her cheeks as Din’s helmet snapped up to look at her intently. “At least, not how I know you are.” She said quietly, bashfully.

It was silent between them, a silence that was overflowing with unspoken words, unspoken desires and feelings. 

“Can you take off your helmet?” She asked shyly. “You don’t have to, I just-”

She trailed off as Din reached up, taking his helmet off without hesitation. The reverence she saw in his eyes had her breath hitching in her throat and she suddenly felt at a loss for words. 

“I was glad we left.” He told her, wanting to soothe the insecurity he saw in her eyes ever since that crew had stepped onto the ship. “I didn’t like that person I was. After we left, when it was just you and me… that was... “ He stopped, a small smile forming, a far away look in his eye as he was lost in his memories, the ones of her he cherished the most.

“You made me better. And I wouldn’t trade that for anything.” 

Iella’s lips parted in surprise, his words causing an extremely intense fluttering of emotions to swell within her. It almost left her feeling dizzy. 

Din, with all the courage he could muster, shifted closer to her, their thighs now touching, and he reached out slowly, gently taking her hand in his, intertwining their fingers. 

“I was scared back there.” He admitted quietly. “Not knowing where you were… it was… I was scared.” 

Din and Iella had always been a close, affectionate couple. Din found it easier having her close, he was always eager for her touch, to have her by his side. But since he’d lost her and then found her again, he felt like he could barely breathe if she wasn’t with him. 

He worried it would scare her away, his clinginess, his desire for her. 

He was almost scared to look at her, to see her reaction. When he finally gained the courage to, he was pleasantly surprised, the soft smile on her face was back and she looked down bashfully, her eyes averting from his the second they had met. 

His heart raced wildly within his chest, his desire climbing so intensely it felt as though it would choke him.

“El,” He said softly, his voice barely above a whisper. 

She looked up, though her eyes didn’t quite meet his. Her eyes widening slightly as his hand reached out, his fingers hooking under her chin, gently guiding her to meet his gaze. 

He leaned in slowly, letting out a shaky breath. He ignored the trembling in his hands and gently brushed his finger against her jaw, a wave of pure satisfaction washing over him as he saw her shiver slightly, for the second time that day.

“Tell me to stop.” He whispered.

Iella stayed silent, her eyes boring into his, leaving him breathless. Her mind was racing wildly, a million thoughts running through her head, but only one thing was clear, she didn’t want him to stop.

Her silence made him lean forward, his eyes searching hers for any sign of discomfort, that he was pushing her too far, but there was none. But he was still hesitant, scared of how she felt, of what she was thinking.

“Tell me to stop.” He whispered again, his voice trembling with anticipation. 

“I don’t want you to.” She breathed out. 

Din almost whimpered and, unable to waste another agonizing second, he leaned forward, pressing his lips to hers. Iella’s eyes widened before falling closed at the blissful feeling of him kissing her so softly. 

His arm snaked around her waist, pulling her in closer to his body as his other hand stayed cradled to her jaw, holding her as if he was worried she would disappear just like she had in his dream that morning. 

He let out a soft moan as she kissed him back, finally getting over her initial shock. She wrapped her arms around his neck, her fingers tangling in his messy, wavy hair. The groan that left his lips at the feeling of her touch set her body alight with a desperate neediness she couldn’t remember ever feeling before. 

Din tried to keep the kiss soft and innocent, but it was getting more difficult with her body so close to his, with her hands tangled in his hair, her tongue against his. 

It was all too much.

They pulled away from each other, both of them breathing heavily. The frantic desire for each other didn’t dissipate in the slightest, but they were both coherent enough to realize it was moving too fast. 

Iella smiled, letting out a small giggle and she bowed her head. Din smiled along with her, his arm still wrapped around her tightly. He leaned forward, letting his forehead fall against hers. 

She let out a ragged breath, her eyes falling closed in contentment.

She had worried almost every second of the day that she would never get her memories back, that she would never be who she used to be, but with the way Din was holding her so tightly, with the taste of him still on her lips, she knew she would be ok if she didn’t. 

She knew she would always have Din and to her, that was just about all that mattered. 


	13. Chapter 13

Din tapped his foot anxiously as his eyes stayed locked onto the closed fresher door Iella was behind. He’d only caught a glimpse of her that morning and it was enough to leave him breathless and wracked with nerves.

They hadn’t spoken much since the night before, they hadn’t spoken about the kiss. 

He felt like his heart hadn’t stopped its racing since he’d kissed her. He worried he’d gone too far, he always did whenever he tried to show affection, but the way she reciprocated, the way she’d kissed him back which had left his head spinning, reminded him that she was comfortable in his presence, that she  _ wanted  _ to be around him.

Those few seconds, with her lips against his, made it feel like he had her back, like things were the way they used to be, like she loved him again.

A loud whine broke him out of his thoughts and he looked down at the child who was holding onto his boot, staring up at him expectantly, his big eyes pleading with him to play.

Din sighed heavily, sparing another look at the closed door before looking back down at the child.

“Ok fine, but just for a little bit.” He told him. 

In the fresher, Iella stared at herself with scrutiny, gritting her teeth in annoyance at the flyaways in her hair she couldn’t tamp down. She’d been frantically working over her hair with a brush, trying to look the least bit presentable after all the tossing and turning she’d done the night before.

The kiss she shared with Din had left her feeling giddy and unable to drift off, unable for her mind to quiet. 

She huffed in annoyance as her unruly hair refused to cooperate. Placing the brush down, she shook her head at herself.

She was already married to the guy, right? There was no need to be so uptight about her appearance, but she couldn’t help it.

Things had changed between them. Despite not remembering what they’d had before, Iella knew it had been special.

If she had felt just a fraction of what she was feeling for him now, she knew he was the love of her life. He made her heart race in ways she’d didn’t remember ever experiencing. She wondered if that was what they were like at the beginning of their relationship all those years ago. 

She wondered if she had fussed this much over her appearance before.

“Get it together.” She whispered to herself and forced herself to just accept the state of her hair.

Exiting the cramped fresher, her eyes fell onto a sight that made her stomach twist with butterflies. There he was, the big, scary Mandalorian bounty hunter, sat on the floor with the silly green child with ears too big for his body.

Din rolled the silver ball towards the child, causing him to squeal in delight and toddle after it. He grabbed it in his small hands and held it up for Din to see.

The Mandalorian laughed fondly at the child under his helmet, the noise barely audible.

But she heard it. And it made her melt inside.

“Morning.” She greeted with a wide smile. 

Din startled, his helmeted gaze snapping up to meet hers. He hadn’t even heard her come out, he’d been so focused on the rambunctious child that demanded his undivided attention. He felt his cheeks burn as her eyes took in the scene before her. He hadn’t meant for her to see him like this. 

“Morning.” He spoke, hoping the cadence of his voice wouldn’t reveal just how embarrassed he was. 

Iella blushed slightly, feeling embarrassed for an entire different reason. As soon as she had looked at him, the only thing on her mind was that kiss. The one that shook her to her core, made her legs tremble and made her ache for more. 

She forced herself not to think of it any longer, at least not in front of Din. 

“And how’s the little one?” Iella cooed, using the baby voice she had adopted whenever she was around the child, much to Din’s amusement. The baby cooed up at her and eagerly made his way towards her, lifting his arms up to signal he wanted to be in her arms.

Iella smiled, her heart melting even further, and she was all too happy to comply, cradling the child in her arms tightly.

“Did you have a good sleep? Yeah?” She spoke to the child, having a one sided conversation with the baby who answered only in nonsensical sounds. 

Din watched fondly, a warmth settling within him. Seeing her with the child, speaking to him so softly, so motherly, it made his chest ache. He longed to see her with their own child. He hoped to whatever higher power was out there, it would happen one day. 

“How long have you been up with him?” She asked the man beside her, her gaze still locked onto the adorable creature she was holding. After a few seconds without an answer, she looked over at the Mandalorian, noticing his gaze locked onto her and the child.

“Din?”

He flinched slightly, breaking out of his daze. He cleared his throat and shook his head. 

“What?”

“Are you ok?” She asked, her face now creased with concern.

“Yes, I-I’m fine.” He responded, cringing to himself as he stammered slightly and he cleared his throat. “Actually, there’s something I need to show you.” 

He motioned for her to follow him up to the cockpit. Iella held the baby tightly, her face creased with worry as she followed him and stood behind his pilot’s chair as he pressed buttons on the dashboard for a few seconds before a sudden hologram appeared. 

_ “My friend, if you are receiving this transmission, that means you are alive.” _

“Who is that?” Iella questioned aloud.

The question made Din’s shoulders sag in defeat and he held back a disappointed sigh. He knew it was unlikely she would remember Karga, but it broke his heart every time she forgot something she once knew. It only reminded him of the trauma she had been through. 

“Greef Karga, our old boss.”

“Didn’t you say you killed him?” Iella asked in confusion.

“I thought I did.” Din answered simply. 

_ “A lot has happened since we last saw each other. The man who hired you is still here, and his ranks of ex-Imperial guards have grown.” _

Iella stiffened, her jaw clenching in anger at the mention of the man who seeks the child. 

_ “If you would consider one last commission, I will make it worth your while. You have been successful so far in staving off their hunters, but they will not stop until they have their prize. So here is my proposition, return to Nevarro. Bring the child as bait. I will arrange an exchange, and provide loyal Guild members as protection.” _

Iella’s eyes widened as she listened to the proposition. Her heart began to race and she held onto the child tighter, as if to protect him from the incoming danger.

_ “Once we get near the client, you kill him, and we both get what we want. If you succeed, you keep the child and I will have your name cleared with the Guild, for a man of honour should not be forced to live in exile. I await your arrival with optimism.” _

“It’s a set up.” Iella surmised as soon as the transmission faded. 

“Yeah.” Din sighed. “But we’re out of options. Bounty hunters will keep coming, they won’t stop until they have the child.”

Iella stared down at him in disbelief. “You can’t seriously be considering this.”

“I don’t know what else to do!” He argued, his frustration about practically every aspect of his life making him angry. He sighed heavily and bowed his head, muttering a soft apology for his outburst. 

“They’ll hurt him.” Iella said quietly, her simple answer for why she was against the plan. 

“Not if we don’t give him up.” Din mused quietly and Iella looked down at him questioningly. “It’s dicey, but I think I have a plan.” 

They could hopefully recruit Cara and with her help they could provide some resistance to Karga. With the barest form of a plan of action, they charted their path back to Sorgan to recruit more muscle in the form of Cara Dune. Iella sat in the co-pilot’s seat, the baby still happily in her arms. 

Every few minutes, she noticed Din’s helmet turn slightly towards her, as if he were checking on her, making sure she was still there. She shifted in her seat slightly, subconsciously running her hand through her messy hair, yet again, before slamming it down beside her, silently scolding herself for acting like a young school girl with her first crush. 

For Din, his heart was pounding within his chest and he could feel his palms begin to sweat. His head was empty but thoughts of the kiss. Neither had spoken of it yet and his anxiety was beginning to get the best of him. 

He had been hoping she’d break the tension and speak, tell him she was ok, that last night hadn’t been a mistake, finally allowing him to ease his mind. 

A few minutes later, as his gaze, unknowingly to him, sought her out again, she perked up and smiled slightly.

“What?”

Din stiffened and turned to face her fully, his body rigid with uncertainty.

“What are you looking at?” She asked again, more clearly. 

“Uhh, I- uhm-” He stammered nonsensically as he blushed furiously under his helmet. “Well… you.” He finally admitted quietly. 

“Oh.” She whispered, biting her lip hard to keep her from smiling. “Why?” She asked with a slight laugh.

“Wanted to make sure you were ok.”

“Why wouldn’t I be ok?” 

Din hesitated, his throat going dry as he found himself faced with the opportunity to tell her how terrified he was, how scared he was of losing her, of pushing her too far. 

“I just… last night, the - uhh- the kiss… I don’t want to… push you with this.” He stuttered nervously. 

Iella frowned softly and she sat up straighter in her seat, hesitating on whether or not she should reach out to him. She decided against it, figuring his nervousness was coming from a place of hesitance surrounding his feelings for her. 

She didn’t think it was possible for it to be the other way around. 

“You’re not pushing me.” She said forwardly. “I…” She paused, smiling slightly as she thought back to the night before, how softly he had held her, how tenderly he had kissed her. “I liked it… the kiss.”

Din’s helmet jerked upwards, his eyes finding hers, as if to search for any sign that her words weren’t truthful, but he found none, much to his utter relief. 

“Oh, ok. Well... good.” He spoke and cringed beneath his helmet at his choice of words. 

“Din,” Iella said softly, making him look at her again and stop his self-deprecating train of thought. “You don’t have to walk on eggshells around me. I’m ok and I’ll tell you if I’m not, I promise.” 

Din let out a ragged breath and nodded. He felt like the vice-like grip around his heart had loosened, just the slightest, at her assurance and he felt like he could breathe just the slightest bit easier. 

The child started to fuss in her arms and began to get cranky as it was time to feed him, which signalled the end of their conversation. Din moved to stand but Iella stopped him with a hand on his arm, making him freeze at her touch. 

“I got him, don’t worry.” 

She stood and began to make her way out of the cockpit. Din watched her go, his nerves still very much rattling in his head. 

“Hey,” He called out, stopping her before she could leave. “So, you’re sure the kiss wasn’t too much?” He asked, still sounding nervous. 

Iella laughed and nodded, finding his persistence for her acceptance just about the sweetest thing she’d ever encountered. 

“Actually, I wouldn’t mind if you did it again.” She said cheekily, hoping the fierce blush on her cheeks wouldn’t completely take away from the flirtatious banter she was trying to accomplish. 

She made her way down the ladder, not allowing Din to get the last word in, not that he could even speak with the state she had left him in.

His gaze stayed locked onto where she had stood, a wide smile growing. He laughed to himself quietly and blinked rapidly, forcing the tears that started to well in his eyes to dissipate. 

He knew she had no idea just how much she had sounded like her old self in that moment. She had no idea just what those few words had done to him, how much they had decimated him so easily. 

Gods, he missed her.

She was  _ right there  _ and he missed her so much.

He breathed deeply, forcing himself to not let his bubbling emotions get the best of him. He’d been keeping his breakdown at bay for weeks now. He wondered when the inevitable emotional blow out would happen. 

He shook himself from all his thoughts, valiantly forcing himself to focus on the task at hand. Protecting the child was all that should be on his mind now. He couldn’t let himself get distracted, which was why he chose to stay in the cockpit, where Iella couldn’t invade his mind.

Though, every few minutes, he could hear her muffled laughter as she played with the child and each time, it sent a pang of longing into his chest. 

She was really making it difficult for him to stay a hard-headed bounty hunter. 

It wasn’t long until the Razor Crest landed on the grassy fields of Sorgan. Din steeled himself, forcing his head to get back into the game. He stepped down from the cockpit, ignoring the twist in his stomach as he spotted Iella with the child.

“I shouldn’t be long. Keep the hatch closed and don’t answer for anyone but me.” He told her, repeating his usual instructions every time he had to leave for a bounty as he collected his weapons as he prepared himself to leave.

Iella went rigid and she stared back at him in disbelief. “You don’t want me to go with you?”

Din sighed, cursing himself for how his words had come across to her. He trusted her, of course he did, but he didn’t want to put her in a situation that deemed too much. After what had happened on their last trip on Sorgan, he figured the small planet would hold triggering memories for her. 

“I think it would be safer if you stayed here.” He said, making sure to choose his words carefully. 

Iella opened her mouth, like she was about to argue, but she stopped herself, her lips slamming closed and she nodded slowly, bowing her head shamefully to avoid his gaze.He was right, she knew that, but that didn’t mean she had to like it.

“I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t be. I get it. I didn’t exactly leave a good impression last time I was here.”

“It’s not that.” He interjected quickly, wanting to stop her negative thoughts before it destroyed her. “Hunters were after us, I don’t want to put a target on your back again.” 

Iella’s expression darkened and she looked back at him worriedly as a thought she’d tried to suppress came back to the forefront.

“Do you… do you think that hunter Cara killed, the one with the fob… could he have been after me?” She asked slowly. 

Din, paused in his movements, his body stiffening hard as stone as he swallowed thickly. The thought had crossed his mind. His first guess had been that the hunter had been after the child, but the possibility that he had been after Iella was just as likely. He wouldn’t put it past that Imperial scum, Voros, to put a bounty on her head to have her returned to him.

But he didn’t want to tell her that. He didn’t want to worry her.

“I’ll be back soon.” He told her forwardly, ignoring her question that he didn’t have the emotional capacity at the moment to answer, and turned on his heel, exiting the ship. 

Iella watched him go with a heavy heart as he turned and spared one last glance at her as the ramp closed slowly before finally shutting, cutting off their view of each other. 

She let out a ragged breath and looked down at the child who grabbed her attention with a soft coo as he pulled at her pant leg.

“Sorry, sweetie.” She told him softly, leaning down to take him into her arms. 

It felt like hours he was gone.

She paced back and forth anxiously, spending time playing with the child, half distracted, and when he got tired and she put him down, she was left to her own devices, trapped inside her own mind, which she found a thousand times worse.

She sat in the hull, the silence beginning to play with her paranoia. Every little noise sent her heart racing within her chest, like she was just waiting for Voros to tear the ship apart and drag her away at any second. 

She knew it was only a matter of time before he found her. 

Din’s silence to her question lingered in her mind, only making her more anxious. She knew he was aware of the danger she was in just by existing and the danger she put him in by being at his side. 

He’d told her time and time again that he was willing to face whatever was brought to them with their predicament. He was willing to tear down anyone who dared to rip her from his side, but she couldn’t quell the guilt that rose at the knowledge of what he was willing to do for her.

She didn’t feel worthy.

The sound of the ramp hissing downwards, startled her out of her thoughts and she jumped at the sudden noise, her hand instinctively reaching for the knife on her belt. 

She relaxed when she saw Din making his way onto the ship, Cara only a few paces behind him. Din suddenly stopped in his tracks, his body tensing when he noticed her sitting on the floor, her hand on her knife.

He was suddenly rushing towards her.

“Are you ok? Where’s the kid?” He asked frantically.

“He’s sleeping, we’re fine… we’re all good.” She assured him weakly, unable to divulge the emotional and mental hell she was suffering.

She inched to the side, away from Din and placed a plastic smile on her face.

“Good to see you again, Cara.”

“You too. I’m glad to see you two haven’t changed at all.” She joked, sending a flirtatious wink her way. 

“So Mando told you about the job?”

“Yeah, something about an Imperial scumbag.” She spoke with sarcastic enthusiasm. “So, we’re finally going after the asshole that’s got you twisted?” She asked, assuming Voros, the man Mando had told her about, was the Imperial they were going after.

Iella’s face paled, her expression falling to one of horror. She turned to look at Din who stood just as rigidly as she did. 

Cara’s mouth dropped open and she looked back and forth between the couple. She didn’t even need to see the Mandalorian’s face to know he was shitting bricks.

“You didn’t tell your wife you told me?” She asked, bowing her head into her hands.

“Uhh, I, no, there was no time, I didn’t think-”

“It’s ok.” Iella interjected, stopping Din from what would have been a litany of feeble excuses. “No harm, no foul.” She waved off the uncomfortable situation.

“Are you sure? I was going to tell you, it just slipped my mind.” Din asked her quietly, ignoring the fact that Cara was still in the room.

“It’s fine, really. Keeps me from having to explain.” She shrugged. 

Din’s shoulders deflated at her tone. He hated hearing her sound so downtrodden. But now wasn’t the time to plead his case, to beg for forgiveness for his wrong-doing, to promise her he’d keep her safe from the harm she was still so scared of.

No, that would have to wait.

Din made his way up to the cockpit to take off and make their way to their next stop. Iella huffed a loud sigh and sat herself next to the shocktrooper.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to start any drama between you two.” Cara started and Iella held up her hand to stop her. 

“Don’t apologize. Honestly, it’s fine. I don’t care that you know about my… trouble.” She said hesitantly, unsure of how to phrase her current situation. Trouble was both the best and the most downplayed version she could use. 

“So… we’re not going after that Imperial asshole?”

“No, this is for the child. We have to take out the man that put the bounty on his head.” 

Cara nodded in understanding, a small smile forming at the mention of the child. “How is the little guy?” 

“Good.” Iella spoke with a wistful smile. “He’s getting into more trouble every day.”

“And you wouldn’t have it any other way.” Cara surmised, knowing how much the woman adored the little green baby.

“Of course not.” Iella laughed, but it faded quickly, her once genuine smile falling into a frown. 

She  _ would  _ have it another way. Gods, if she could change her life, she would in a heartbeat. But the child? That was one thing that felt perfect to her, the one thing in her life that wasn’t tarnished by her new self.

Soon, Din stomped back down into the hull, opening his weapons locker and motioning for Cara.

“Pick one.” He told her and the shocktrooper’s eyes lit up excitedly at the arsenal before her. 

She poked her way through various guns and weaponry, eyeing them curiously and testing out their weight.

“So, you trust the contact?”

“Not particularly.” Din answered honestly. “He and I had a run-in last time I was there on some Guild business.”

“So why are we going? It’s obviously a trap, right?” 

“We don’t have a choice. You saw what happened on Sorgan. They’ll keep sending hunters.” Din explained.

“The child won’t be safe unless the client’s dead. It’s a gamble, but it’s worth it.” Iella added, the protectiveness heard in her voice stirring something within Din.

There she went again, sounding like his old Iella, making him feel emotional at the most inopportune time. Din watched her fondly, allowing himself just a second to take her in, admire her. 

His moment of indulgence was cut short as the ship lurched on its side, loud alarms blaring from the cockpit. Din grunted as he was thrown forward into Cara and before he could even throw himself off of her, the ship was hurled to the side again, throwing him against the wall behind him.

Iella got to her feet unsteadily, her hands latched onto the table for balance.

“I’m guessing the kid’s awake!” She yelled over the chaos. Din just groaned in response. He forgot the kid was left up there alone. 

All three of them made their way up the ladder to the cockpit. Iella was halfway up when she slipped at a particular harsh blow and almost lost her balance. Behind her, Din’s arm reached up immediately, holding firmly to her back to help keep her steady.

“You ok?” He asked worriedly and she nodded, the heat from his touch emanating on her skin leaving her unable to speak. 

Iella quickly climbed the rest of the way, holding back a yelp as she almost lost her footing yet again. She rushed forward unsteadily, grabbing the child who was having a hell of the time with the joystick, making him whine in disappointment as he was ripped away from his toy.

Din was behind her immediately, throwing himself into his pilot’s seat and frantically pressing buttons to reverse whatever damage the child had done. Soon, the ship’s course smoothed and they all let out a collective sigh of relief.

“We need someone to watch that thing.” Cara said, looking down at the smiling child unamused. “You got anyone you can trust?” 

Din paused, his eyes finding Iella before quickly averting in shame. He felt bad for even thinking she would sit this one out to play babysitter. He knew it drove her crazy every time he had asked her to sit out on jobs. He knew there would be no way to convince her not to fight this fight, to not protect the child.

“Yeah, I know someone.” He answered vaguely and set the course for Arvala-7.

~~

Iella let out a breath of relief as she breathed in the fresh air. She looked around at the mountainous range surrounding them, her mind reminding her of the last time she had been to this planet. 

A shiver ran down her spine and she tried her hardest to push down the guilt and self-hatred that threatened to overtake her at the thought of that day, when she’d almost killed Din and let the child get captured by her partners.

A hand was gently placed on her shoulder, making her flinch and turn on her heel. She relaxed when she saw Din staring down at her. She didn’t need to see his face to know he was worried about her. 

He knew where her mind had wandered to.

“Come on.” He urged her softly, placing his hand on the small of her back to guide her forward. 

Iella shivered slightly, this time for an entirely different reason, and instinctively leaned into his touch. Din hoped she couldn’t hear how fast his heart was racing. 

At the sight of the unaught approaching them, Iella tensed again, remembering how she’d almost killed him if Din hadn’t distracted her. 

“Good to see you again.” The ugnaught spoke warmly and eyed the ones behind him curiously. 

“You must be Kuiil. It’s nice to meet you.” Iella greeted him with a smile.

“I’m glad to see you aren’t still trying to kill your husband.” He said to Iella who was left to gape at him in surprise at his blunt words.

“Come in.” He offered and motioned for them to follow him into his home. 

Iella looked over at Din who was just as taken aback and he shrugged, following after the ugnaught. She shook her head and followed behind him. 

“This should be interesting.” Cara muttered behind her. 

The group sat in the cramped home, Iella making sure to be next to the child as Din sat on her other side, his thigh pressed against hers, as if to seek out the barest form of comfort from the only touch they could get at the time. 

“It hasn’t grown much.” Kuiil observed, looking at the child curiously. 

“I think it might be a strand cast.”

“I don’t think it was engineered. I’ve worked in the gene farms. This one looks too evolved, too ugly.”

Iella’s face creased with derision at his words and she looked down at the baby who looked back up at her with a soft coo. She had to disagree wholeheartedly. 

“This one, on the other hand, looks like she was farmed in the Cytocaves of Nora.” Kuill spoke to the former shocktrooper who stiffened and met his eyes head on firmly. 

“This is Cara Dune. She was a shock trooper.” 

“You were a dropper?”

“Did you serve?” Cara asked curiously, wondering how he knew all of what he spoke of. 

“On the other side, I’m afraid.” Kuill noted regrettably. Iella watched him carefully, her stomach twisting with knots at the tone of his voice. She wondered if other people felt the same pity towards her. 

She hated the thought.

Suddenly, Din was jumping to his feet, pulling out his blaster and pointing it at the droid who had just entered the room. He took a step forward, shielding her and the child with his body.

“Would anyone care for some tea?” The droid asked and Iella’s face creased with confusion. It didn’t seem to pose much of a threat, but Din apparently had other misgivings. 

“Please lower your blasters. He will not harm you.” Kuiil urged, but Din and Cara didn’t waver in their threatening positions. 

“That thing is programmed to kill the baby.” Din spat harshly and Iella was immediately getting to her feet, her hand hovering over the knife on her belt, her face now twisted darkly with anger, ready to make a move before the droid could.

“Not anymore.” 

“What do you mean?” Iella asked the ugnaught, reluctant to lower her defenses. 

They listened as Kuiil explained how he had rehabilitated the droid Din had killed the day he found the baby, how he reworked the droid's protocols and how it now served a new purpose, one that no longer posed a threat to them.

“Is it still a hunter?” Din asked, sounding like he didn’t quite believe the droid wasn’t a danger. 

“No. But it will protect.” Kuiil assured him.

From her place still protected behind his broad frame, Iella could see how rigidly he stood, how uncomfortable he felt in the droid’s presence. He didn’t believe Kuiil, or trust that the droid had completely different motivations, that much was clear.

He sighed heavily in disdain as Cara reached out, taking the cup of tea the droid offered. Iella moved to take one and Din tensed, his hand moving to reach out to hers instinctively, but he stopped, holding it in the air with uncertainty.

Iella looked over at him, placing her hand on his arm that was stiff as stone.

“It’s ok.” She whispered in assurance. He slowly dropped his hand, allowing her to reach for the drink. 

They were left in a tense silence and she could tell Din was on edge, that the droid’s presence had agitated him deeply. 

“I’m going to talk to the ugnaught. I’ll be right back.” He told her, placing a hand on her knee and squeezing softly before leaving her side. She nodded, watching as he looked down at the droid threateningly as he passed. 

“What’s up with him?” Cara muttered to Iella.

“I don’t know.” She mumbled, a feeling of helplessness arising as she realized she didn’t know how to comfort the man that was her husband. 

~~

Iella, Din and Cara were sat in the cockpit as Din set their course for Nevarro, sharing a few words with Cara about the Imperial warlord they were planning on taking out.

But Iella was oblivious to their conversation. She sat with her arms crossed over her stomach, biting her thumb nail anxiously. That nagging feeling in her mind since Din’s reaction to the droid hadn’t left her and it was driving her crazy.

It was like she was finally aware of the block in her mind. She knew she was feeling this way for a reason, that she was forgetting something extremely important, something Din had told her long ago. 

As if, knowing exactly what was worrying her, the droid made an entrance, offering food for them, but Din quickly shot it down.

“Under no circumstances does that thing leave the ship.” He ordered sternly, disdain clear in his tone.

“You got a real thing for droids, don’t you?” Cara noted with a slight laugh.

“I got a real thing for  _ that _ droid.”

“The ugnaught said he rewired it.” 

“That droid was designed to kill things. I don’t care how much wiring he replaced. It goes against its nature.” Din spat with reverence. 

“Well, it shouldn’t be a long job anyway. We take out the head Imp, the rest will run like rats.” Cara beamed with excitement, patting Iella on the shoulder as she stepped past her and made her way out of the cockpit, leaving the couple alone.

It was silent between them and Iella continued to fidget in her seat uneasily. Her brows furrowed with concentration as she tried hard to find lost memories, ones that would fill the blank spots in her mind.

“Are you ok?” Din asked, noticing the expression on her face that looked less than relaxed. “We have a strong plan, good muscle. The Imp won’t make it far.” He assured her, assuming her anxiety was due to the impending plan.

“You don’t like droids.” Iella spoke quietly. 

Din’s eyes narrowed in confusion and he turned his chair so he was fully looking at her. 

“I know you don’t like droids. You’ve told me before.” She spoke monotonously, her eyes holding a faraway look like she was still lost in thought.

“I did.” Din said, his voice strained. He couldn’t help the spike of excitement that raced through him, leaving him dizzy at the expectation that she may be remembering something.

“You’ve told me why. I know there’s a reason. And I can’t remember it.” Her voice broke slightly, her tone laced with frustration. 

Din’s heart broke within his chest and he reached forward, taking her hand in his, stopping her from biting her nails. 

“It’s ok-”

“No, it’s not!” She yelled suddenly. “Nothing about this is ok! I can’t remember a single thing about you. I can’t remember a single thing about  _ us _ .” 

“That’s not true.” He said quickly. “I know you’re there. I know it’ll take time, but it’ll happen. You’re still the woman I fell in love with.”

“I’m not, Din. And you have to stop pretending I am.” 

Din’s face fell and he swallowed thickly, wondering if the lump that grew in his throat would choke him. 

“No.” He whispered, shaking his head as he refused to let their tough situation drag her down even further. “No, I can’t- I’m not gonna let you give up.” He spoke desperately, holding onto her hands tightly.

“You may not remember a lot, but you’re remembering, Cyare.” 

Iella’s breath caught in her throat, the pet name he’d used only once before striking something within her that made butterflies erupt in her stomach. She did remember that name, not what it had meant, but that it was what he’d always called her.

“Not a lot.” She mumbled.

“Enough.” He said quietly, making her look up at him. “I don’t care how long it takes. I don’t care if you only remember something once a year. It doesn’t change anything for me. I need you here, with me. And I’m not settling for anything less, ok? Not after the last year I had to-” He stopped abruptly when his voice cracked and his head bowed. He took in a ragged breath, willing himself not to break down.

Iella pursed her lips together tightly, trying hard not to cry as she watched his usually level-headed and strong demeanor falter. It was jarring to hear him sound so defeated, to see him so affected. 

“I’m not letting you give up on us.” He whispered desperately. 

She nodded slowly, squeezing his hand that still held hers. 

“I won't.” She promised him, sniffling quietly, though he had heard it and he lifted his head to meet her gaze. “I’m just tired of this.” She whispered, her vision blurring from her tears. “I’m so tired of not knowing anything.”

“I know.” 

Din leaned forward, pulling her up and into his arms, holding her tightly. 

“I know it’s hard and I can’t imagine what it’s like for you. I just… I need you to keep trying ok? I know it’s selfish of me to-”

“No, no it’s not.” She interjected. 

Din let out a ragged breath and ripped his helmet off his head in a flash before he was pulling her close again, letting his head rest in the crook of her neck where she felt each of his shuddering breaths.

“Just please… keep trying.” 

Iella nodded, not trusting her voice to speak without breaking. She held onto him tighter, finding comfort in how he held her just as tightly, how he seemed to melt into her embrace. 

~~

“Master Voros,”

The scared, wavering voice made the intimidating man turn slowly, eyeing the young officer before him. 

“We found something, footage from a New Republic prison ship.” 

Voros perked up, his dark expression lightening as he smiled widely. The officer suppressed a shiver at the sadistic gleam in the man’s eyes. 

“Show me.”

With shaking hands, the officer brought up the footage he’d found. Voros leaned in, his eyes locked onto the monitor with captivation. 

Voros clenched his hands into fists tightly, his teeth grinding as blind anger rose within him as he stared at the picture on the screen. There she was, his asset, standing strongly. She was alive, that was more information he’d had in weeks.

It should’ve been good news, it should have elated him, but the sight of the Mandalorian next to her, their hands joined together, made his blood boil. He knew it was dangerous to send her in the Mandalorian’s path, but he had faith in his work, in the machine that had wiped her mind.

He growled under his breath, his body thrumming with fury at the evidence of his failure. 

He needed the Mandalorian dead and his asset back. 

“Get Moff Gideon.” He ordered and the officer nodded, but hesitated before he could make his move.

“What do you want me to tell him?”

Voros let out a harsh breath, his eyes never wavering from the picture of his asset. 

“Tell him it’s time to make our move.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for your comments! I hope you enjoy this chapter xx


	14. Chapter 14

They landed on Nevarro, too soon for both of their likings. It was time to get serious and Iella was worried. The conversation she’d just had with Din lingered in her mind and she worried it would keep her distracted.

Seeing the tough Mandalorian so weak and fragile wasn’t something she saw everyday and it had shaken her.

She watched as Kuiil and Cara got set up on the blurrgs, preparing to make their exit and meet Karga and the goons he’d chosen to keep a close eye on them. Iella let out a ragged breath, clenching her hands into fists to keep them from trembling as anxiety wormed its way to the forefront of her whirlwind of emotions.

Picking up the child, she moved towards his pod, moving to place him down when his little three-fingered claw reached up and gently laid on her cheek. She gasped lightly, feeling that overwhelming wave of calmness wash over her.

Her eyes fell closed and she smiled softly, leaning into the baby’s touch. She wasn’t scared by his powers. She knew he was only trying to help, just like that first time she held him. He could feel her array of negative emotions and he only wanted to soothe the war within her. 

“You ready to go?” Din’s voice came from behind her, making her flinch instinctively. She immediately pulled the child away, making him whine in disappointment and reach out for her again, but she quickly placed him in the pod. 

“Yeah.”

The second she turned to face Din, she could see how tense he was, how scared this mission made him.

“I don’t like this.” He mumbled.

“I know. I don’t either, but we don’t have a choice.” 

Din sighed loudly and reached out, taking her hand in his tightly. There was no way he was letting her out of his sight, there was no way he was letting her move past arm’s length. He leaned forward, taking the hood of the long cloak she wore and securing it over her hair, hiding her hair, what made her stand out. 

He let his hands linger, his fingers gently tracing down the length of cheek and down to her jaw. The shiver he saw that she’d failed to hide made his heart race and her eyes that were locked onto his had him ready to call off this entire mission. 

“We good to go?” Cara called from across the hull, breaking the couple from their moment. 

Din nodded, clearing his throat and taking a step back from her. He lowered the ramp, allowing Kuiil and Cara to make their way off the ship. He quickly pressed another button, closing the pod, shielding the child from the outside. 

Din’s heart was racing. He knew he was running out of ways to stall the inevitable, that he had no choice but to lead Iella into danger. 

She pet the blurrg softly, calming the animal before they mounted. She felt Din’s hands on her waist as he moved to help her make her way atop the animal, but he stopped, his touch lingering. 

She turned her head, her eyes meeting Beskar. She noticed he was stiff as stone.

“Din?” 

His helmet looked out the ship, making sure Cara and Kuiil weren’t looking their way. Once he was positive they weren’t, he grabbed the edge of his helmet, lifting it so just his lips were exposed. He leaned down, kissing her quickly but fiercely, pouring every protective emotion into the chaste kiss. 

Iella’s eyes stayed closed for the few seconds their lips had parted as his body stayed close, locked into their tight embrace. 

“Sorry, I just…”

“It- it’s ok.” She breathed out, stopping whatever reservations he had for showing affection. It left her feeling weightless each time, she never wanted it to stop. 

Din let out a long breath of relief and let his helmet slip back into place securely. He readjusted his grip on her waist, waiting for her nod that she was ready, and hauled her upwards onto the blurrg. 

Iella ignored the jolt of excitement that shot through her as he used his brute strength to lift her. She bit her lip, forcing her mind not to wander where it clearly wanted to. Now wasn’t the time for  _ those  _ kinds of thoughts.

Din climbed up after, placing himself in front of her on the blurrg so he could shield her any way he could. 

“You ready?” He asked again, as if he was just waiting for her to change her mind. She nodded and wound her arms around his waist. Din tried hard not to freeze, not to show just how much that small action sent him practically reeling into ecstasy.

Every time they got close it felt like the first time because it had been so long.

He squared his shoulders, forcing himself to focus, and he guided the animal off the ship.

He followed Kuiil and Cara, sparing a look to make sure the closed pod was following, and they met with Karga who eyed the entourage suspiciously. 

“Sorry for the remote rendezvous, Mando. Things have gotten complicated since you were last here.” Karga greeted stiffly. 

Din’s eyes shifted to the mercenaries behind his old boss, his hands tightening as he willed himself not to act too hastily. He figured he’d end up killing them eventually, but he couldn’t make a move too quickly and put the others in danger.

“It appears that introductions are in order. It seems we’ve both provided a security detail.” Karga said, his eyes shifting over the strangers with the Mandalorian. “I recommend the shocktrooper guards the ship.”

Cara glared back at the man with disdain, opening her mouth to make a snarky retort, but thankfully, Din stopped her.

“She’s coming with me.” 

His tone left nothing to be debated and Karga sighed in defeat.

“Fine. At least cover your tattoo. No need to flaunt it.” 

The Guild agent swept his gaze over the other two strangers, his interest peaking with the cloaked figure behind the Mandalorian, the one whose arms were wrapped around him tightly. 

Karga’s eyes narrowed with scrutiny. 

“Now, who’s this mysterious one you’re hiding, Mando?” 

Din’s body tensed, preparing himself to launch off the blurrg and put a blaster bolt in every one of them, but Iella’s gentle touch on his arm that was instinctively reaching for his blaster without him realizing, stopped him.

He could hear the sharp intake of breath behind him and he squeezed his eyes shut, he knew she would lose a lot of protection the moment she made her identity known. 

Iella threw the hood off her head and looked up defiantly, her eyes meeting Karga’s with a confidence she had become good at faking. 

Greef Karga had seen a lot of things, but someone coming back from the dead? That was new.

His breathing stuttered and his mouth fell agape as words failed him. He stared at her in wonder. He couldn’t believe it. When Mando had come barging into the cantina, demanding answers about his wife, he thought the man had finally lost it. 

“Hey, Kid.” He choked out, his gaze still one of awe. He felt guilt swarm him immediately. He always liked Iella and he’d been genuinely distraught to hear of her gruesome death. He had to admit, he was happy to see that she was alive, but what she had coming to her… he didn’t want to think about it.

She just nodded to him stiffly, feeling uncomfortable that there was yet another person who knew her that she had no recollection of. 

Karga cleared his throat, shaking himself from the intense revelation. “Now, where’s the little one?” He called out.

Iella watched as Din hesitated, just for a moment, before pressing the control on his vambrace, letting the pod move forward and open, revealing the child. 

“So, this little bogwing is what all the fuss was about.” Karga mused with a slight laugh and he reached down, picking the child up.

Iella let out a soft noise, like she wanted to protest, her body jerking slightly on instinct as she wanted nothing more than to personally rip the man’s hands off their child. Din’s hand fell to her thigh, stopping her from making a potentially deadly move, but his other hand moved to hover over his blaster, preparing himself for the worst.

“I can see why you didn’t want to harm a hair on its wrinkled little head.” 

Karga’s words only made them both squirm internally. They didn’t trust him or what he had planned. They just hoped it wouldn’t end as badly as they were both fearing. 

He placed the child back into his pod, making the couple simultaneously relax. 

“Well, I’m glad this matter will be put to rest once and for all.”

Din didn’t respond. He just closed the pod and guided it back to their side. 

Karga then suggested their plan to camp for the night and make their way into town in the morning, something Din detested, but he wasn’t in a position to make a compromise. They began their trek, Din making sure he left a comfortable distance between them and the others. 

He already hated where this was going.

~~

Iella blinked her eyes slowly, feeling the pull of sleep calling to her, but she refused. Her gaze rose, meeting one of Karga’s mercenaries that sat on the other side of the fire. He stared her down dominantly and she rolled her eyes. She couldn’t let her guard down around them.

She felt a nudge to her thigh and she looked over to see Din holding out a piece of meat towards her. 

“I’m good.” She refused, but he still held out his hand and she knew the face behind the helmet was insistent. 

“You need more, you’ve barely had anything.” He pressed softly, his voice low for only her to hear. 

She sighed and took the food. It always left her awestruck by how he looked after her, even when he couldn’t look after himself. She knew he hadn’t eaten anything, but he was more worried about her.

She took small bites, her nerves making her feel slightly nauseous each time. She was too wound up to eat. After finishing half, she broke off small pieces and fed them to the child who was delighted to get the rest. 

She smiled at the way his big ears perked up as he eagerly took the food she gave him. She heard a sigh from beside her and she turned to face Din with a sheepish smile, knowing he was looking at her in disapproval. 

Din both loved and hated how considerate she was. She was the brightest light in his life but he hoped that just once she’d look out for her own needs. 

“So,” Karga suddenly spoke, gaining their attention. “Are you going to explain to me what miracle occurred to have you back in our lives?” He asked Iella. 

She looked back at him blankly, her heart beginning to race as that familiar anxiety began to claw its way forward. 

“She survived the crash.” Din said, speaking so she didn’t have to. 

Karga fought the urge to roll his eyes at the Mandalorian. He always did drive him crazy with how overbearingly protective he’d been with his wife. 

“Well, yes, but you’d told me she attacked you on that one job, the … what was it? Joran… something. The thief.” 

Iella’s brows furrowed, her face twisting with confusion. She looked over at Din, horror in her eyes. She didn’t remember that. She remembered attacking him on Arvala-7 to get the child, but there had been a time before that?

Her stomach turned at the thought. She felt like she was seconds from being sick.

“You must’ve heard me wrong.” Din replied stiffly, hoping Karga would take heed of his tone and his lie and keep his mouth shut. 

The group around the fire went quiet again, much to Din’s relief. He didn’t know what he’d do if Karga kept talking.

Beside him, Iella was practically curled into herself, her arms around her stomach, her head bowed low. He knew she was not taking the new information well. He itched to reach out to her, but Karga’s men that had their close eye on them made him hesitant to show his weakness in front of them.

As Greef stood to take another piece of the meat that was roasting over the fire, a creature suddenly flew down and struck the man with its sharp claws. Karga yelled in pain and staggered to his knees, clutching his wounded arm.

The rest of them were on their feet in seconds. Iella pulled out the blaster Din had loaned her for the mission and began shooting with as much precision the darkness would allow her. They were all shooting in quick succession, the blaster fire seemingly having no deterrence on the flying creatures that swarmed above them. 

Din quickly made his way towards the child, closing the pod to keep him safe. 

Iella watched in horror as the creatures killed the blurrgs, leaving only one surviving, and snatched one of the mercenaries with Karga, his screams echoing as they took him far away. She grit her teeth, her grip tightening on the blaster as she fired off shot after shot. 

She heard a grunt beside her and her stomach dropped as she saw one of the creatures on top of Din, their snapping jaws just inches from taking a chunk out of him. Din fought tirelessly, grabbing the creature by the neck and trying to wrench it off of him, but it was too strong.

Iella fired at it, but the shots did nothing to get it off her husband. 

Her heart beat wildly in her chest as she began to panic. She quickly reached into the belt at her waist and unsheathed a knife, throwing it with a deadly accuracy her new self had acquired. The knife embedded into the creature's eye, causing it to shriek in pain and flail erratically, finally letting go of Din. 

He turned on his back and activated his flamethrower, dousing the creature in fire as it flew away, finally deterred by the firefight. They all stayed in formation, their weapons raised as they made sure the creatures were gone for good. 

It was silent except for the panting breaths of exertion and the low cries of pain from Karga who was still clutching onto his arm tightly, his face tight with agony.

Iella was at Din’s side in a second, her hands on him, checking to make sure the creature hadn’t gotten him where he didn’t have armour. 

“Are you ok?” She asked breathlessly, her expression twisted with worry. He nodded, looking up at her with reverence and reaching out to wrap his arms around her as she helped him back to his feet. 

His grip stayed on her even after he was standing, unwilling to let her go after what had just happened. 

Together, they opened the pod, making sure the child was ok and both of them let out heavy breaths in relief when he cooed up at them, his ears twitching upwards at the sight of them. Iella smiled and reached down, gently patting his little head. 

“He’s hurt badly.” Kuiil’s voice brought them back into the present and Din grabbed her hand, holding it tightly as they made their way over to where Karga was laying. 

Iella winced at the bloody gash on his arm and looked away. 

“How bad?”

“Bad.” Cara replied simply. “The poison’s spreading fast. We got any other medpacs?” 

The silence that greeted her gave her the answer and she sighed in annoyance. Iella chewed on her lip, watching Karga sorrowfully. She didn’t know the man, at least not anymore, and given the predicament they were in, she didn’t exactly like him, but this was no way to die.

Her ears picked up a soft rustling sound and she looked over her shoulder, her brows furrowing when she saw the child making his way towards them.

“What are you doing, little one?” She whispered, moving to pick him up, but Din placed his hand on her arm, stopping her. She looked up at him in confusion, but his gaze was trained on the child that made his way to Greef’s side.

“Get this thing outta here.” Cara hissed as she tried to work.

“Wait.” Kuiil instructed, watching the child with awe. 

The group watched with a captivated silence as the child placed his tiny hand on the wound, closing his big eyes in concentration. Iella’s lips parted, her face falling slack with surprise as she watched the reddened skin return to normal, the bloody gash fading into nothing.

A wave of emotion hit her hard.

All those times he’d placed his little hand on her cheeks, that rush of calm that would spread through her, he was trying to heal her, trying to take her pain away. 

She could’ve cried at the thought.

She was quick to gather him in her arms the moment his eyes had fallen closed and he’d stumbled to the ground in exhaustion. She pressed a kiss to his wrinkled forehead. A ragged breath left her as she watched him sleep. 

“He’s ok. Just tired.” Din explained, seeing just how scared Iella was for the child’s safety. 

She sighed in relief and let herself lean back against his firm body behind her. His arm reached around her, his fingers gently tracing the length of the child’s ears. 

~~

Everyone was restless that night, no one allowed themselves to get much sleep and by the next morning, they were all exhausted, but tensions were high and it kept them moving. 

Iella was by Din’s side, Cara on her other. She could feel the gazes of Karga’s men at her back as they walked a few paces behind. She could feel their slimy gaze on her and it made her skin prickle each time, making her twitch and want to reach for her weapon.

She knew something was about to go down. 

They slowed to a stop as they approached the outskirts of the city and Din instinctively took a step towards Iella, his hip bumping against hers.

“I guess this is it.” Karga mumbled. 

Iella heard soft footsteps behind them and before she could even pull out her blaster, Karga was turning on his heel swiftly and pointing his blasters, taking out his own men with simultaneous shots. 

Iella, Din and Cara had their weapons out in a second, pointing it at the man, their eyes wide with surprise.

“There’s something you should know.” Karga started, raising his hands to signal he wasn’t a threat to them. “The plan was to kill you and take the kid. But after what happened last night, I couldn’t go through with it.” He explained, but the three of them didn’t waver, their weapons continued to point at him defiantly. 

“Go on. You can gun me down here and now and it wouldn’t violate the code, but if you do, this child will never be safe.” 

“We’ll take our chances.” Cara spat at him.

“The Imperial client is obsessed with obtaining this asset. You tried to run, but where did it get you?”

“This is ridiculous.” Cara hissed to the couple, but Iella wasn’t so sure. She slowly lowered her weapon. She knew he had a point.

Seeing Iella had lowered her weapon, Karga continued, hopeful that he was making them understand. “Listen, we both need the client to be eliminated. Let me take the child to him and then you three-”

“No.” Din objected immediately.

“Let’s just kill him and get outta here.” Cara suggested, taking a menacing step forward.

“He’s right.” Din said as he lowered his weapon. “As long as the Imp lives, he’ll send hunters after the child.”

“It’s a trap.”

“Bring me.” Din suggested, making Iella’s heart drop and she fought back the urge to argue. “Tell him you captured me. Get me close to him and I’ll kill him.” 

Karga nodded in agreement. “Give me your blaster.”

Iella was shocked to see Din comply so easily. She sputtered, her mind racing as she tried to find a way out of this plan.

“I’m going with you.” She finally managed to say and Din swung his helmet around to look at her. She knew he was looking at her like she was insane.

“What? No! You-”

“I’m not letting you go alone.” She interrupted his frantic yells. 

“El, you can’t step into a city full of Imps. Who knows how many of them know your face. It’s too dangerous.”

“Tell them you captured me too.” She said to Karga. “We’ll be out of there by the time words gets back to Voros. It’ll be fine.” 

“Voros?” Karga asked, his face twisted with confusion. 

Din ignored the question and turned to face Iella, taking her hands in his. 

“That’s not good enough. I’m not taking that chance.” He argued, squeezing tightly to her hands. “El, please. I can’t let you do this.” He spoke desperately, pleading with her not to go. 

“I have to. You would never let me do this alone, that’s why I can’t let you.” She whispered. 

Din’s shoulders sagged, her words taking him out like a punch to the temple. He felt his stomach twist and he lowered his head, forcing himself not to show outwardly just how much her words had stirred emotions within him he’d kept buried for so long.

“Please. I have to do this. For the kid.” 

Din looked over at the child who was watching them curiously. He sighed loudly, realizing dreadfully that he was out of options. 

“You don’t move from my side, ok?” 

Iella nodded, a soft smile growing, though he could see the look in her eyes, the fear that she was unable to hide. He wanted to rip off his helmet and kiss her, hold her tight and tell her everything was going to be ok, that he would protect her from everything that came their way.

“I’m going too.” Cara spoke up.

“No, that would make them too suspicious.” Karga objected. 

“Tell them she caught us.” 

“And what about the kid?” Iella asked. She knew Din wouldn’t be willing to let the child anywhere close to the danger the city held. 

“He goes back to the ship. Kuiil, ride back to the Razor Crest with the child and seal yourself in. Engage ground security protocols. Nothing on this planet will breach those doors.”

Kuiil nodded in agreement. “I will keep the child safe.” He vowed to the couple. 

“Thank you.” Iella said to him, pure gratitude pouring through her tone. Kuiil smiled at her and moved to get the child. 

Iella watched with disdain as Din pulled out a pair of binders and Karga latched them onto his wrists. Karga then pulled out his own set and approached Iella hesitantly. The look of dread on her face made his pause. There was a haunted look in her eyes, one that led to many more questions he wanted to ask. But he didn’t.

He slowly attached the binders to her wrists, ignoring the shaking breath she let out. 

Iella stared down at her bound hands, her chest beginning to ache as panic rushed through her. Her instincts told her to run, to get out of this situation as quickly as possible, but her fear had her rooted to the spot. 

“Hey,” Din called out, nudging her with his hip slightly, making her slowly look up to meet his gaze. His heart ached at the sight of her so scared and unsure. “It’s ok. It won’t be for long. They’ll be off soon, I promise.” 

Iella nodded stiffly, holding out to hope that his words were truthful. 

“Let’s go.” 

They all began to make their way towards the city, dread settling within the mock prisoner couple. As they walked, Iella spared a look over her shoulder, her eyes meeting the child who was watching them over Kuiil’s shoulder.

She prayed he would be ok. 

Her gaze left quickly, unable to look at the adorable child for too long or else she’d lose all control of the emotions she was keeping under wraps. 

Her mind was fuzzy, her heart racing, her stomach twisting, the closer they got to the city. Even with Din at her side, his arm brushing against hers in the barest form of comfort he could offer her, she couldn’t shake the terror she felt in her bones.

She didn’t listen to the excuse Karga gave to the trooper they met at the edge of the city. Everything around her was like an echo, like she was trapped inside her own mind with only her horrendous thoughts playing on a loop. 

She walked blindly, following like a mindless droid as Cara held onto her arm in the guise of a captor as she led her through the city streets.

“El,” Din whispered, noticing the vacant expression on her face that made his blood pressure rise. Despite their circumstances, he couldn’t ignore the state she was in. “It’s ok, I’m right here.” He told her.

Iella nodded stiffly, the only sign that she had heard him, and let out a deep breath. She knew she needed to relax, that she couldn’t let herself be the weak link of the group. She needed to get her head in the game, she needed to ignore the memories that made her tremble. 

She needed to pretend she wasn’t crumbing inside.

They soon made it to where the client was residing and Iella began to feel like all attempts at hiding were feeble. She sucked in a breath as the door closed behind them and they approached the old man who smiled smarmily at the sight of them.

“Look what I brought you, as promised.” Karga greeted, shoving Din forward. Cara was more gentle as she guided Iella forward. 

“And this lovely young lady?” The client eyed her carefully, his hand gently tapping under her chin.

“Works with him. She helped him escape with the child.” Karga explained, harshly gripping onto Din’s elbow to keep him from lunging forward and ripping the client’s hand away from his wife. 

The client nodded, his thoughtful gaze still locked onto her. They all held their breath, worried that he had known her, who she truly was and what enormous secret she kept. The client then turned to the bartender, motioning for more drinks to be served, making them all simultaneously unclench as his attention turned.

Iella had to fight hard not to luge across the table as the client droned on about Imperial rule, how it improved everyone’s lives for the better. As disgusting as it made her feel, she focused on her training to school her expression, to not reveal how absolutely vile his words made her feel.

She could feel Din tense beside her, his leg shifting, just slightest, to touch hers and let her know she wasn’t alone in how she was feeling, that they both had to wait it out. They would get their revenge soon.

“I would like to see the baby.”

The client’s words had her heart dropping to her stomach. 

“It’s asleep.” Karga said quickly, the first excuse that had come to mind.

“We will be quiet. Open the pram.” 

Iella grit her teeth, looking over at Din pleadingly. She knew it was a bad idea to give up their weapons. 

Thankfully, a stormtrooper interrupted, whispering into the client’s ear, making the older man tense and he quickly excused himself. 

“Give me the blaster.” Din whispered and Karga complied immediately, handing over Din’s weapon and gave Iella back her knife as he unlocked the binders from their wrists. Iella sighed in relief, feeling a great weight relieved from her chest.

“This is bad. You said four.” Cara hissed angrily.

“Well, what can I tell you? There are more.” Karga whispered, just as unsettled as the rest of them by the city filled with Imperials.

“He’s talking to someone.” Iella noted, side-eyeing the hologram in front of the client. “I think he recognized me.” 

“Don’t say that.” Din said through clenched teeth, his own fear rising at the thought.

“Is it… what did you say his name was? Voran?”

“Voros.” Iella corrected Karga harshly. “And keep your voice down.”

Before any of them could plan to make a move in retaliation, blaster shots fired through the window in rapid succession, killing the client and every Imperial trooper in the bar. 

Din was quick to grab Iella and pulled her into his side, turning so his armoured body was shielding hers as they ducked for cover behind the tables. 

As soon as the shooting stopped, they ran towards the pillar at the side of the bar, watching as blockades of troopers lined up outside of the building. 

“This is bad.” Cara said, looking at them with barely contained anger. 

Iella felt her breathing falter and she let herself fall back against the pillar behind her, feeling like her legs were unable to keep holding her up. The sound of a tie-fighter approaching had her feeling like she was about to throw up.

“They know I’m here.” She whispered.

Din looked at her and shook his head, his mind unable to even fathom the possibility. He wouldn’t accept it.

“Din,” She whispered so only he could hear, her shaking hand reaching out to grab his. The sound of the tie-fighter landing just outside the building had her practically shaking in her boots. “I’m sorry.” 

He felt a lump grow in his throat, his eyes stinging as he watched her strong facade crumble. He stepped towards her, his arm wrapping around her waist, holding her to his side tightly.

“Nothing’s gonna happen.” He whispered to her, his voice hard with determination. He would sooner die than let any of those Imperial bastards get their hands on her again.

“You have something I want.” A man’s voice from outside spoke authoritatively.

Iella perked up. The voice, it wasn’t Voros. But she recognized it. It triggered something within her faded memories. 

“You may think you have some idea of what you are in possession of, but you do not. In a few moments, it will be mine. It means more to me than you will ever know.” 

Iella’s face suddenly dropped, her body beginning to shake with fear. 

She knew that voice.

_ She was groggy, her head throbbing painfully. She felt like she’d been strapped to the machine for days. Her screams of agony echoed in her mind, explaining the ache in her throat. _

_ “Fascinating.” _

_ Iella opened her eyes, the harsh light making her wince and she whined softly, trying to turn her head away, but a harsh grip on her chin kept her from moving. _

_ “Excellent work, Voros. I had to admit, I had my doubts about this project of yours. But she is magnificent.”  _

_ Iella blinked her bleary eyes open and flinched at the harsh gaze that met hers. _

_ “Thank you, Gideon.” Her master smiled, looking down at her appreciatively. _

_ “She will be the deadliest force that will make the galaxy tremble.” Gideon purred happily, smiling at her widely. _

_ Iella shivered under his gaze. The sadistic look in his eyes sent her stomach turning and she squirmed in his grip. _

_ He frowned, getting to his feet and turning to his dear old friend. _

_ “She’s acting up. Better take her for another spin.” Gideon said, patting the deadly machine she was strapped to affectionately. “Make sure my warrior is ready.” _

_ Voros nodded, bowing to his friend.  _

_ “I will, Gideon. She will be unstoppable.” _

Iella, being brought back to the present by Din yelling into the comlink to Kuiil, felt tears streaming down her cheeks at the realization of who was standing outside. She knew she was screwed, that her good luck was running out. 

“I’m sorry.” She gasped, looking up at Din sadly. She knew it was only a matter of minutes before she was ripped away from him.

He let out a ragged breath and kneeled in front of her, his hands cradling her face. 

“Don’t. You’re not leaving me, you got it? I’m not letting them take you.”

“Din, we can’t-”

“No!” He screamed, unable to keep the desperate and scared tone from his voice. “Iella, I’m not letting you go.”

She nodded, leaning into his touch. She held onto his words and no matter how much of an empty promise they were, she held out on the sliver of hope she had that he was true.


	15. Chapter 15

Iella was trembling in her spot, her chest heaving as she held tightly to Din’s hand which never strayed from hers.

His touch was the only thing grounding her in that moment.

“Try him again.” She said stiffly. Din sighed and lifted the comlink, trying in vain, yet again, to get a response. 

When nothing but silence answered back, the couple both stayed quiet, refusing to acknowledge what it meant, for Kuiil and for the child. Iella clenched her jaw, forcing herself to not think of that possibility. She pictured the child’s big, innocent eyes, and she pursed her lips, hoping the thought of his demise wouldn't break her completely.

Din watched her carefully, wishing he could smooth the furrow of her brows, erase the frown from her lips and the haunted look in her eyes.

He tightened his hands in hers, knowing exactly where her mind was going, what it was torturing her with. It was the same thing his own mind was making him suffer and he could barely stand it.

“Is there another way out?” Cara asked desperately as she looked upon the many stormtroopers that were lined up outside, blocking their chance of escaping. 

“No, that’s it.” Karga motioned towards the crowded front of the cantina sadly. 

“What about the sewers?”

“The sewers?” Iella looked up at Din in confusion, not noticing how his shoulders slumped at her question.

“The Mandalorian’s have a covert down in the sewers.” He explained, avoiding the disappointment that arose at Iella’s forgotten memory of the place she’d been before many times. “If we can get down there, they can help us escape.”

Iella nodded, a strange feeling of familiarity blooming within her as he dropped her hand and began to scan the room for a hidden entrance. She didn’t know if it was the tone of Din’s voice, the one she was used to hearing that signalled she had forgotten something, or if it were her own memories returning in a moment of stress. 

She didn’t know what the tip off was, but she could begin to picture the covert in her mind. She could picture the maze of hallways, the dimly lit rooms where familiar helmeted warriors would swarm, she could picture an intimidating woman, covered in furs. 

The fuzzy image in her mind was welcoming and comforting. But the reminder of more forgotten memories was like a bucket of ice water over her, dousing any good feeling that came with the slightest remembrance. 

It was just a reminder of how much she truly didn’t know about her own life.

“Hold up.” Cara called out, her voice thick with worry, forcing Iella out of her thoughts. “They’re setting up an E-Web.” 

Iella blanched, quickly taking a peak out of the window, and her stomach dropped at the sight of the deadly weapon. She had seen that weapon take out entire communities in one fell swoop.

“It’s over.” Karga sighed in resignation, knowing there was no plausible way they could fight their way out against that weapon. 

“I found the sewer vent.” Din suddenly announced and he and Cara rushed forward, frantically tossing the booth aside, only to find a grate blocking their path. Din grit his teeth angrily, ignoring the racing of his heart that signalled fear.

He wouldn’t be giving up so easily. Not with their lives on the line, not with Iella’s life on the line.

He and Cara got to work quickly, pulling at the grate with all their might, until they were breathless and their shoulders ached. The grate didn’t budge. 

Hearing the beginnings of a mechanical whirring, Iella turned her attention back to the enemy outside. Her throat went dry as she watched the weapon, now ready for firing, turning to point their way.

“The weapon’s assembled! How long until that thing’s cleared?” Karga demanded. 

Cara bit her lip, her face twisted in concentration as she thought hard for a solution. An idea suddenly formed, one that was right up her alley.

“Get out of the way!” She warned, reaching for her weapon and pointing it at the unmoving grate. She fired off rapid shots, moving her weapon side to side to try to weaken the integrity of any inch of the one thing that stood in their way of escape.

She stopped firing and kicked the grate, letting out a groan of frustration as it refused to give way.

Iella let out a loud breath, resolution settling over her. The slim chance of escape was getting slimmer and slimmer and she was beginning to lose any hope Din had tried to make her see. She looked over at him, finding his gaze already locked on her. 

They paused, having a moment to just  _ look  _ at each other. But, of course, it couldn’t last.

“Your astute panic suggests that you understand the situation.”

They all tensed at the sound of Gideon’s imposing voice. 

“I would prefer to avoid any further violence, and encourage a moment of consideration.” He continued, forcing them all to hold back a roll of their eyes. Easy words coming from a man with an entire platoon behind him. 

“Who the hell is this guy?” Cara bemused under her breath, her voice laced with annoyance.

Iella wanted to scream out his name, warn the others to leave while they still could and leave her to the wolves, but she found herself unable to find the courage to speak. 

“Members of my escort have completed assembly of an E-Web heavy repeating blaster.” Gideon continued smugly. “If you are unfamiliar with this weapon, I’m sure that Rebellion Shock Trooper Carasynthia Dune of Alderaan will advise you that she has witnessed many of her ranks vaporized mid-descent facing the predecessor of this particular model.”

Everyone in the room held their breaths, sparing a look at Cara who was glaring fiercely out the window, a haunted look of terror hidden in her expressive eyes. 

“Or perhaps the decommissioned Mandalorian hunter, Din Djarin, has heard the songs of the siege on Mandalore.” 

Iella’s breath hitched as she felt Din tense beside her. She looked over at him, watching as he took a slow step forward, his shock clear in his stance. She knew how horrified he would be to have his name spoken aloud, to have it known to others.

She didn’t know Gideon had any ties to him and it suddenly terrified her to her core that Din could be on his hit list. 

She reached out blindly, taking his hand in hers, which he grabbed onto like a lifeline, his grip so tight it almost made her wince. 

“I advise disgraced magistrate Greef Karga to search the wisdom of his years and urge you to lay down your arms and come outside.”

Iella held her breath, knowing what was coming next.

“And I would be remissed if I failed my brother Voros in his greatest efforts if I left former slave and deadly Imperial assassin, Iella Yazir -or should I say Djarin- slip through my fingers once again.” Gideon called out confidently. She could practically hear the smile in his voice and it made her feel sick.

Her shaking hand held tightly to her weapon until her knuckles turned white. She avoided Karga’s gaze that looked back at her in horror at the knowledge of her whereabouts for the last year she had supposedly spent dead. 

Beside her, Din’s body was trembling with rage. A murderous fury overtook him at Gideon’s words and he had to force himself to stay where he stood instead of racing out of the cantina to put a blaster bolt in Gideon’s head before he got the chance to even take a step towards his wife.

The thought of her back in chains, back to that manipulated killing machine that had looked at him so coldly, was terrifying. 

That feeling, along with Gideon’s forceful break of part of his creed, had him reeling. He avoided Cara and Karga’s eyes fitfully. Knowing they now knew his name, something his creed had forced him to hide from the rest of the galaxy, had him close to spiralling. 

“The structure you are trapped in will be razed in short order and your storied lives will come to an unceremonious end.” Gideon threatened, knowing he had successfully rattled each of them.

“I demand that my asset is returned to me promptly and without harm. I know the Mandalorian would never hurt his dear wife, but I admit I am an impatient man. If Miss Yazir is not returned to me, I will have no choice but to act with the utmost violence to get what I want. I will give you until nightfall, and then I will have the E-Web cannon open fire.”

Iella bit her lip harshly, dread settling within her. Gideon’s warning wouldn’t be in vain. The small sliver of hope she had was gone completely. 

She knew she’d be back in chains by the end of the night. 

Din’s hand in hers squeezed tightly, breaking her from her thoughts. She looked up, seeing his attention focused squarely on her. The silent promise in his hidden gaze was clear despite the helmet. 

“We know who he is.” Din said solemnly, speaking for both him and Iella when it was clear she had no ability to speak. The others looked at him cautiously, waiting with bated breath. “It’s Moff Gideon.”

Cara’s face fell, a flash of fear crossing her features. She’d heard gruesome things about the man and she refused to believe it was him they were facing or else she’d lose hope about their chances. 

“No, Moff Gideon was executed for war crimes.” 

“And I died in a crash.” Iella finally spoke up, her voice bitter with derision. “The Empire plays a dirty game.”

“It’s him. He knew my name.” Din insisted. 

“So? What does that prove?”

“I haven’t heard that name spoken, outside of my wife, since I was a child.”

“But they took Iella, there could be a chance-”

“There’s not.” Iella interrupted Karga darkly. “I couldn’t have told them, I didn’t even know who he was when I saw him…” She paused, swallowing the lump that grew in her throat. “I still don’t.” She admitted quietly, her face shrouded with shame.

Karga’s face twisted in confusion and he looked at the couple with frantic eyes, desperate for answers neither was willing to give. 

“But…” He trailed off, soon realizing he had no words that could encompass just how he was feeling. 

Behind his helmet, Din was gritting his teeth, his eyes squeezed shut as he willed himself not to break. Hearing his wife admit that she didn’t know him, even after all they’d been through, after how far she’d come since that first day he’d carried her back to their home, the one she’d long forgotten, almost brought him to his knees.

He knew she didn’t have her memories back, he knew she didn’t remember what they had, but he had tricked himself into thinking she was still there, that she still loved him. He had tricked himself into believing, through all their time together, he was with the old her because the reality was too hard to face. 

Hearing that she still felt as though she didn’t know him was like a dagger to the heart. 

“Surely, someone else on Mandalore would’ve known your name.” Karga spoke up, moving past the tense moment to get back to the enemy that was currently facing them. 

“I wasn’t born on Mandalore.” 

“But you’re a Mandalorian.”

“Mandalorian isn’t a race, it’s a creed. I was a foundling. They raised me in the fighting corps, I was treated as one of their own.” Din explained and Iella was almost knocked over at the abrupt feeling of remembrance. 

Din’s words sent a sudden rush of blurry images racing through her mind. Iella focused hard on the thought of her and Din, huddled together in the dark hallways of the covert. She remembered stories of his parents, that day he lost them, being saved by the man in a helmet who changed the course of his life forever.

Her chest heaved as the images settled, understanding washing over her. 

She didn't know what it was that had been causing these flashes of memories to come to her, but she wasn't about to question it. She was just so relieved she was getting more pieces to the puzzle that was her life.

“The only record of my family name was in the registers of Mandalore. Moff Gideon was an ISB officer during the purge. That’s how I know it’s him.” Din continued, sharing more about his life than he ever expected he would. 

Iella looked over at Din, the both of them sharing a meaningful look that held so many unspoken words and promises. Both of them were so protective of the other, knowing their enemy was after them. Iella never would’ve thought Din would be tangled with the men that had wiped her mind and ruined her life and Din never could’ve fathomed the man that ruined his saviour’s home would be one of the people responsible for causing so much harm to the person he loved the most.

It was a lot to handle and they didn’t have the time to handle it.

“He says he needs us, which means the child got away safely. I was worried when the ugnaught didn’t respond, but if they’d captured the kid, we’d already be dead. There would be nothing stopping him from taking what he needed and leaving.” Din spoke sternly, his stomach twisting as he felt Iella tense beside him.

She knew what he meant by ‘taking what he needed’ and despite how vague he’d tried to sound, there was no way of passing over what was looming over them all. Iella was the thing keeping them trapped, keeping them in Gideon’s clutches. 

“Call them again.” Cara demanded, her voice stern with panic. The knowledge that it was Moff Gideon after them had shaken her more than she had expected and she was eager to receive any kind of beacon of hope they could get.

Iella listened with bated breath as Din tried again to radio in with Kuiil. Her worry for both the ugnaught and the child was stifling. 

The silence on the other end had them all sharing dark looks of melancholy. They knew what the silence meant.

Suddenly, a squeal of laughter came in through the comlink. 

Iella’s expression twisted immediately from one of anguish to one of confusion. Din’s head raised and he met her gaze, the both of them sharing stunned looks. 

“Is that…?” Iella started quietly.

_ “Kuiil had been terminated.”  _ IG-11’s voice came through the comlink, causing the couple to look up at each other in horror, the worst case scenario flashing through their minds. Iella’s chest constricted at the thought of the ugnaught who’d been nothing but helpful and ended up paying the price for it.

“What did you do?” Din accused harshly.

_ “I am fulfilling my base function.” _

“Which is?” 

_ “To nurse and protect.”  _

“What the hell does that mean?” Iella questioned, her eyes wide with disbelief. She couldn’t remember much about Din’s aversion to droids, but it was enough to have her suspicious of IG-11. 

“I guess we’ll find out.” Din muttered darkly, having no faith in the droid. 

“What’s the plan now?” Karga asked, his weary gaze shifting towards them and back to the army outside.

“We’re out of options. The only thing we can do is-”

“Shh.” Din interrupted Cara abruptly, moving towards the window. “Do you hear that?” 

They all focused their attention, listening carefully to the distant sound of blaster fire and shouts of distress. They didn’t know what exactly was happening, they just knew it meant it was time to fight. 

They watched in equal parts fascination and worry as IG-11 crashed head first into the crowd, skidding across the courtyard and abandoning the speeder that crashed across the way, blowing up an entire troop of fighters in its wake. 

“Cover me!” Din ordered, taking his moment to fight back. Iella quickly grabbed the blaster Karga had slipped her and began shooting out the window at the unsuspecting Stormtroopers that had their attention on the droid that had crashed their ranks. 

Thankfully, Cara was providing most of the cover fire that she could focus on her husband and making sure they stayed together. She fired off shot after shot, slowly moving across the room, following Din who was making his way towards the door. 

She ceased her firing, grabbing onto his arm, stopping him before he could leave their safe haven that was the catina.

“Wait… this is-” She trailed off, unable to put her feelings into words. She wanted to tell him to be ok, to make it back to her, to try everything he could to stay safe or else she would lose all sense of herself. 

But there was no way she could tell him that. 

He stared down at her intently, his hand reaching out to grab hers.

“We can do this.” He whispered to her. He waited for her slight nod of approval, the fear in her eyes fueling him, and he was bursting out the door. 

He was like a machine the second he stepped outside, kicking at the first stormtrooper that stood in his way and began firing rapidly at the others that posed a threat. He cleared a path easily, allowing Iella and Karga to step out and start their reign of fire.

She followed Din’s lead, letting the man with the armour take the brunt of the fire. She fired off shots, taking down men that pointed their weapons at him. Reaching into her belt, she grabbed onto the small butterfly knives at her waist and, despite how vile it made her feel -knowing Voros had trained her with these knives- she knew it was her only option. 

She watched as man after man fell at her hand, with each throw of her knife. She knew exactly where to aim to hit where their armour didn’t cover. 

She didn’t want to dwell on how she came to know how to kill with such accuracy. She was willing to deal with the emotional consequences after the fight was over. 

Ducking for cover as heavy fire pointed her way, she let out a shaking breath, forcing herself to not focus on the very thing that was causing her anxiety, but yet was keeping her alive. 

She turned her attention to Din and watched with fascination how he moved, how he fought so seemingly effortlessly against the Stormtroopers. 

It mesmerized her how he fought. 

She soon noticed a stormtrooper hiding off to the side, aiming his weapon at Din and she squared her shoulders. The second Din turned his attention to the warrior that targeted him, the man fell with a knife in his neck. 

Din tensed and turned his head, his gaze meeting Iella in shock. 

Despite the horror he felt at this new found ability of hers, he couldn’t deny the appeal or his body’s response to it. She sent him a nod, which he gave back before getting back into the game. 

Iella’s gaze shifted from her husband to the droid that was holding the baby. She watched with bated breath as it took blaster fire, falling to its knees as it continued to shield the baby with its body, trying its hardest to keep it safe. 

She shot at the soldiers trying to harm the child, the fire within her barely allowing her to comprehend the bloodshed she was causing. The fierce protective instinct within her only saw her saving the baby and not the destructiveness of her actions.

She dodged shots that came her way, firing off as many as she could back. 

An arm abruptly shot out in front of her and she jumped backwards, staring in shock as Din deflected shots coming at her with his armour. She swallowed the lump in her throat, trying to ignore the emotions his actions stirred within her.

They were even harder to ignore as he continued to fight and the distance between them became even further. 

She shook her head, forcing herself back into action and raced forward, jumping on the back of a trooper and gouging her knife into his neck. She grabbed his body, holding him upwards and against her body, forcing his limp body to shield hers as his fellow soldiers fired at her.

She grunted at the effort and, once his body had taken a few dozen shots, threw him to the ground and ducked for cover. She fired back rapidly, ignoring the sick satisfaction she felt each time she met her target and she watched a trooper fall to the ground.

“Don’t harm her!” Gideon’s voice rang out amongst the chaos and the shots firing at her suddenly ceased.

Iella stiffened at the sound of his voice and she looked up frantically, her body going rigid as she met his harsh gaze that was locked on her. 

The smirk he was giving her, that knowing look that stared back at her was too eerily similar to the one she saw waking from the machine’s torture. It brought a shiver down her spine. 

They held eye contact for a few seconds, Gideon smiling widely at the terrified expression on her face, reveling in the power he held over her. 

He raised his blaster towards her and Iella froze, her instincts screaming at her to move, but she found herself unable to. She only stared back at him in horror. Gideon’s smile was bone chilling as he suddenly moved his arm, changing the trajectory of his aim. 

He fired off a shot at the box of ammunition that lay before them and her world turned upside down as it exploded. Iella winced at the dizzy feeling that overtook her as she was thrown to the ground, squeezing her eyes shut and covering her head for protection. 

She blinked her eyes open slowly, coughing through the smoke that surrounded her. She propped herself up on her elbows as her eyes scanned around her, scrambling to grab a hold of another knife at her belt. 

She shared a look with Karga, nodding to each other to assure that they were ok. It was when her eyes found Din that her heart dropped to her stomach and she realized what Gideon had done.

Her lips parted, but the scream she wanted to let out caught in her throat, leaving only a whimper to escape her as she saw him lying motionless on the ground.

She shakily got to her feet and rushed towards him. She let out a yelp as Karga’s arm wrapped around her waist, attempting to stop her from getting to him.

“Let me go!” She screamed, squirming in his grip and kicking her legs in an attempt to wrench out of his grip.

“Stop! You’re gonna get yourself killed!” Karga yelled at her sternly. 

She didn’t listen, the only thing on her mind was Din and the sight of him on the ground, unmoving. It was enough to bring her to her knees. She kicked her leg out, barely acknowledging Karga’s groan of pain as she hit his shin and his grip on her lightened. She was running forward immediately and dropped to her knees. She placed a hand on his chest plate, hoping to feel the movement of his breathing beneath it.

“Din? Din?!” She yelled frantically, watching him through blurred vision as tears grew in her eyes.

His helmet lazily moved so his gaze met hers.

“El…” He slurred in pain, his hand sloppily reaching out towards her. She took his hand tightly, intertwining her fingers with his. 

“You’re ok. I’m here.” She assured him breathlessly as her attention flickered from him and the enemy surrounding them as she simultaneously shot blaster fire in quick succession, taking out anyone who dared to approach them. 

“Iella?!”

She looked up, sighing in relief as Cara rushed towards them. 

“Help him!” Iella yelled, squeezing Din’s hand comfortingly before getting to her feet. She provided cover fire as Cara grabbed him under the arms, hauling him upwards as much as she could and dragged him back into the cantina. 

Iella’s chest was tight, her vision was going red. Her hearing was nothing but a dull hum as she fired shot after shot. 

The familiar numb feeling began to take over as she fired rapidly, the only thing on her mind being revenge, a bloodthirsty need to take their lives for what they tried to take from her

“Come on!” Karga yelled, grabbing Iella’s arm and dragged her forward, breaking her from her thoughts and forcing her to tear her attention away from the incessant firing she was laying down. 

A shiver of disgust raced down her spine at the thought of the state of mind she was in, but it was quickly overridden by worry as soon as the cantina doors closed behind her and she saw Cara laying Din down, his body limp like a ragdoll. 

“W-where is she… I need-” He moaned in pain, his head lolling side to side as he tried to find his wife. 

Iella raced forward and knelt next to him, taking his hand in hers tightly.

“I’m right here.” She told him, wincing and inching away from the sparks that lit up beside her from IG-11’s attempts to saw through the grate. 

“Cyare.” Din breathed out passionately, as if that word would bring him salvation. From behind his helmet, he let his eyes fall closed, her touch bringing him more peace than he ever thought was possible. 

“I’m not gonna make it.”

Iella shook her head, the tears brimming in her eyes beginning to fall down her dirt stained cheeks. 

“Don’t.” She said through gritted teeth, her heart beginning to race at what he was insinuating.

“Leave me.”

“Don’t!” Iella yelled firmly, unable to even fathom what he was trying to get her to do. 

Cara, who was still holding onto him after propping him upwards, moved her hand and the shaking breath that escaped her caught Iella’s attention. Both women stared at her blood stained hand in horror.

A whimper left Iella’s lips and she placed a hand over her mouth, as if she could take the sound back. Din’s hand reached out, his aim imprecise and messy as it reached out for her again. Iella caught it swiftly, intertwining their fingers and bringing his knuckles to her lips, pressing a kiss to his gloved hand.

Din let out a shaking breath at the contact, his heart constricting at her action, one that was so  _ Iella  _ and she had no idea. Cara took a step back to stand next to Karga to give the couple space and they watched sadly as the couple broke down. 

“El, listen to me-”

“No, I’m not-”

“Listen to me.” He insisted. “You have to make sure the child is safe. You’re the only he has.”

“I… I can’t.” Iella gasped, panic beginning to rise within her as Din gave her his final words. It felt too official and it made her feel like she was close to spiralling. “Please, don’t make me do this. I can’t leave you.”

“Here,” He rasped and reached under his tunic, pulling off the necklace she hadn’t even realized he wore. He placed it into her hands, leaving her to gape at what she saw. 

It wasn’t the mythosaur pendant that made her heart break, no, it was the ring that lay next to it that knocked the breath out of her. 

She knew it was his wedding ring, the one he couldn’t bear to wear with her gone, but the one he couldn’t bear to leave so he kept it close to his heart in her absence. 

She let out a shaking breath, wiping the tears that fell from her eyes.

“Din, please.” She whispered.

“When you get to the Mandalorian covert you show them that. They’ll remember you, but if they don’t you tell them it's from Din Djarin. You tell them the foundling was in our protection and they’ll help you.”

“Please… please, you can’t do this to me.” Iella whimpered, pursing her lips to keep the sob back that threatened to escape.

“I’m not gonna make it and you know it.” He told her softly and she shook her head, refusing to believe this was real, refusing to believe that she was about to lose the one thing that made her feel whole, the one thing that felt like a constant, that felt familiar despite her not knowing anything else about her life.

She could spiral all she wanted about what she didn’t know, but she would always have Din. He was the only one that felt right, that made her feel like she wasn’t a lost cause.

If she lost him… she didn’t know what would happen to her, where she would go from there. 

“You can’t do this to me.” Iella whispered, wiping her cheeks harshly. “You can’t leave me, not like this. You’re the only…” She trailed off, knowing she couldn’t say what she needed to without breaking down.

His hand reached up, cradling her cheek gently, making her gaze lift to meet his.

“I wish we had more time.” He said softly. “I wish…” His voice cracked with emotion and he paused, trying to compose himself. “I wish I could see you get better and be who I know you are.” 

Iella sniffled, her eyes squeezing shut as if it would make the horrible scene in front of her disappear.

“I wish I could be there to help you. I wish I could be there to avenge you.” He whispered hoarsely. It killed him to think that he would never get his chance to help her, he would never get his chance to kill Voros and get her the salvation she desperately needed. 

The realization hurt almost as much as dying did.

Suddenly, a burst of flames flew in from the broken window and Iella threw her body over Din, covering him from the wave of heat that hit them. 

His hands reached up to grip her arms, forcing her to sit up, leaving his embrace. 

“You have to go.” He said desperately, refusing to let her get caught in the crossfire. She shook her head again, unwilling to accept the inevitable and he reached up, his hand cradling her cheek as his thumb trailed across her bottom lip, making her freeze.

“You protect the child. I know you can, I know that’s who you are. You can do this, you’ve always been able, with or without me.” He assured her and she shook her head. “You can.” He insisted.

Iella opened her mouth but found no words to say, no words to express what she was feeling, no words to beg him not to do this. 

“I can hold them back long enough for you to escape.”

“Din…” She cried, shaking her head. He gently wiped the tears that fell down her cheeks with his thumb in the most caring touch she could ever remember.

“Let me have a warrior’s death.” He whispered and she whimpered softly, unable to accept the possibility of a life without him.

More flames were scorched in and she winced, leaning over him protectively. His hands that wrapped around her, trying weakly to move her beside him to avoid the flames left her heart racing. 

His protectiveness was something that always made her melt and she wasn’t ready to say goodbye to it. 

She watched in horror as a Stormtrooper stood in the doorway, aiming his flamethrower towards them. She looked down at Din, preparing to protect him to the very end, just like she knew he would for her, but Cara’s nudge in her side, had her attention wavering.

She looked at the child who stood in front of them, her eyes widening and Cara quickly grabbed her arm, stopping her from reaching out and grabbing the child. They watched in fascination as the child raised his small hands the moment the fire ignited and shot towards them.

Everyone was wide eyed with fascination as the flames stopped in their tracks, the child’s power keeping them at bay, protecting all of them. With a flick of his wrist, the Trooper was thrown backwards out the door and the flames engulfed the cantina.

Iella’s eyes were wide, her jaw dropped as she watched the child fall backwards, his eyes closing slowly with exhaustion.

“It’s open, let’s go!” Karga called out, already moving towards the grate the droid had successfully gotten loose. 

“Go.” Din said quietly, making Iella look down at him reverently. She shook her hand and his hand tightened in hers. “Go. Please, I need you to be safe.” 

She let out a sob and leaned down so her forehead touched his helmet, giving him a keldabe kiss, the only thing she could think of to say goodbye.

He let out a shaking breath, her action sparking a hope within him he was used to feeling around her, one he never felt jaded by despite the number of setbacks they’d had. It didn’t matter. She was his wife and he loved her more than anything in the world.

If this was his last moment with her, he would pretend they weren’t in shambles, he would pretend she was still herself. 

He loved her and now, with her head pressed against his, he could convince himself that she loved him too.

It was enough for him. 

“I love you.” He whispered and he knew she heard him by the shaking of her body against his as she tried hard to hold back her cries. 

He hadn’t spoken those words in a long time, worried that if he did, he’d scare her or overwhelm her. 

But he couldn't hold back, not now. He needed her to know. 

She couldn’t say it back. She didn’t know what it was that kept her from saying the words, but they seemed to get caught in her throat. Realistically, she’d only really known him for a month. Despite what she knew about her past, she couldn’t force herself to be that old version of herself, feelings included.

But with everything they’d been through, with everything Din had done for her, she knew it wouldn’t be long until she’d fall in love with him. 

But they weren’t given that time. And it broke her heart. She felt as though she was disappointing him yet again by not saying it back.

But Din knew. He knew who was talking to, he knew what she had been through and it didn’t change anything. He loved his wife, even if she didn’t love him, or even remember him anymore. 

“Protect the child.” 

She looked up and quickly took the unconscious child into her arms that the droid was holding out for her.

“I will stay with the Mandalorian.”

Iella looked at the droid in disbelief, looking down at Din, as if for confirmation that he was ok being around the droid in what might be his final moments. Iella wanted to stay by his side, she didn’t want to picture a life without him, but as she looked down at the sleeping child in her arms, she knew she couldn't leave him.

She couldn’t fail him.

“Promise you’ll bring him.” Cara asked the droid pointedly.

“You have my word.”

IG-11’s promise fell on deaf ears. Iella couldn’t find it in herself to be optimistic about what the droid could do for him. 

She got her feet shakily, worried her knees would buckle and bring her to the floor with the first step she took. She felt a hand on her waist, helping her stand and she looked up at Karga who was looking down at her with sad eyes. 

He guided her towards the sewer grate, trying not to look at the tears that were steadily falling down her cheeks. 

She stopped before she could crawl through, letting Karga go first. She turned, her eyes finding Din whose helmet was already pointed towards her, his eyes never leaving her. He wanted to get every last gaze in that he could. 

He swallowed the lump in his throat, the warm, wet tears falling down his cheeks undeniable as he watched her walk away for what he thought was the last time.

Once in the sewers, Iella could barely keep herself standing. She felt numb as they walked, completely unaware of her surroundings. 

_ I love you _

The words echoed in her brain on a loop. A worried coo echoed in the dark halls and she startled slightly, looking down at the child in her arms that blinked up at her tiredly, still on the brink of exhaustion.

But he still knew something was wrong.

“You have any idea where we’re supposed to go?” Karga asked, causing Cara to roll her eyes and slap the older man on the arm, making him wince and look at her in disbelief. Cara motioned to Iella, giving the silent explanation as to why his question was stupid.

Iella didn’t even hear the question, which was probably a good thing or it would have sent her over the edge, if she wasn’t already there.

The only thing on her mind was Din, her husband. 

_ I love you _

She could hardly fathom the idea that, after everything she’d put him through, he still loved her. He loved her enough to die for her. The knowledge that she’d had that this entire time was enough to leave her eyes burning with unshed tears once again.

She subtly wiped at her cheeks, trying her best to focus on what they had to do to survive now. But Din was still a constant in her mind, that was inevitable. She looked around the hallways, hoping something would trigger another memory, but she was coming up blank.

She had no idea where they were. 

It just made her want to spiral more. Usually, when she had these moments, the ever present knowledge of the blank spots in her mind, she had Din with her to ease the blow, to help her, to reassure her that she would get past it, that it would come to her eventually, that she wasn’t completely useless.

And now, his absence hurt more than ever.

The thought that this would now be the state of her life was too much to bear. 

“Do you need me to take the kid?” Cara’s voice broke her out of her thoughts. She looked up, prepared to refuse her offer, but once she saw the look on the woman’s face, the worry in her eyes, Iella knew the child was probably in better hands with the more capable woman who didn’t just have her life destroyed. 

She nodded silently, handing over the child who let out another quiet whine at the disturbance and reached out for Iella. He could sense her distress and intense sadness and he wanted to help her. 

The noise just sent another pang of hurt through her chest and she squeezed her eyes shut, feeling as though she would be destined to feel nothing but this dark cloud over her for the rest of her life. 

Suddenly, a crash sounded from behind them and all three of them turned quickly, their bodies tense in preparation for another fight. Iella’s shaking hands held tightly to her blaster, ready to make whoever was coming for them regret trying to cross her in this state.

The blaster quickly dropped from her hands, forgotten, as IG-11 and Din turned the corner, the droid holding up the wounded Mandalorian as they walked slowly. A soft gasp escaped her, her whirlwind of emotions making her feel dizzy.

She had to admit, she hadn’t had much faith in the droid and she had never been so relieved to be wrong.

Without any regard for anything else, she rushed forward, her body colliding with Din’s, almost making him lose his footing if not for the droid holding him upwards. 

Her arms wound around his waist tightly. A shaking breath left her as his arms wrapped around her, holding her firmly to his chest. His hand ran through her long hair, caressing softly.

“I’m here.” He whispered, echoing the same words of comfort she’d given him when he thought he’d been on his deathbed. 

She silently cried against him, wondering if this were all a dream. It certainly seemed too good to be true.

“You’re… are you....?”

“I’m ok.” He assured her, interrupting her worried rambling. He held her tightly, letting his eyes fall closed in bliss at the feeling of her in his arms. “I’m here.” He whispered again, this time he didn’t know if he was reassuring her or himself. 

They were reluctant to pull away from each other, but they knew there were pressing matters at hand, ones they couldn’t ignore in favour of each other’s comfort. 

“We must hurry.” IG reminded them and Iella quickly ducked under Din’s arm, placing it over her shoulder so she could support him as they continued to walk. The weight of his body against hers was the most comforting thing she could have ever experienced in that moment.

The group navigated their way through the maze of tunnels slowly, scanning each and every entryway for potential threats or potential pathways. 

Din suddenly stopped, his body straightening out so he wasn’t leaned over Iella. 

“I can stand.” He told her softly, though he kept his body close to hers, his arm sliding down to her waist to keep her close. 

“The bacta infusion is working.” IG noted and Iella’s face suddenly twisted in confusion, her eyes going wide as she looked up at Din. He’d suffered a head injury, that’s why he was so staunchly refusing to leave with them, knowing his creed kept him from being cared for. 

He looked down at her and shook his head slightly, signalling he didn’t want to talk about it, at least not now. She nodded in understanding which only made his grip on her waist tighten, his silent show of thanks. 

“Come on, we’re close.” He announced, guiding them forward once again. 

They followed valiantly, trusting Din’s instincts in the dark tunnels, when he suddenly came to a stop, causing Iella to huff out a breath as she bumped into his body. 

Her eyes followed the beam of his flashlight and her stomach dropped when she saw the armour and helmets piled in front of them. His arm fell from around her waist, his body tensing as he stared down at the evidence of his covert, his friend’s, demise. 

He approached with slow, calculated footsteps, kneeling down before the armour and taking a helmet into his hands, staring down into the visor mournfully. 

“Did you know about this? Is this the work of your bounty hunters?” He accused Karga harshly, his tone getting sharper with each word.

“No.” Karga answered, surprise laced in his voice. “When you left the system and took the prize, the fighting ended and the hunters just melted away.”

“Did you do this? Did you?!” Din yelled, jumping to his feet and pointing an accusatory finger at Karga.

“It was not his fault.” An authoritative voice called out behind them. 

They all turned, hands hovering over their weapons instinctively, but the sight of the helmeted woman had them pausing. Iella felt her breath hitch, she knew this woman, she recognized her.  _ The armourer.  _

“We revealed ourselves.” She explained abruptly. “We knew what could happen if we left the covert. The Imperials arrived shortly thereafter. This is what resulted.”

“Did any survive?” Din asked hoarsely, his body thrumming with anger and sadness at the state of the covert.

“I hope so. Some may have escaped off-world. Miracles happen, I don’t have to tell you that.” She said pointedly, her visored gaze falling to Iella who tensed slightly at the intimidating woman’s attention on her.

“It is good to see you alive and well, my dear. You certainly gave us a fright.” She spoke warmly to Iella who relaxed instantly at the tone of her voice and smiled softly to the woman. 

“Come with us.” Din insisted.

“No. I will not abandon this place until I have salvaged what remains.”

The group watched with curious interest as she gathered a cart full of armour and they followed her into her armory, watching with fascination as she began to melt down the left behind armour. 

“Show me the one whose safety deemed such destruction.” 

The droid, who Cara had quickly handed off the child to, stepped forward, allowing the armourer to inspect the fascinating creature. 

“This is the one that you hunted, then saved?”

“Yes. The one that saved me as well.” Din answered, causing Iella to look at her husband carefully. The cadence of his voice was soft, the kind of tone she’d only ever heard directed at her. 

Her heart bloomed at the thought. He loved the child, more than he’d ever let on before. 

“It looks helpless.” The armourer noted.

“It’s injured, but it is  _ not  _ helpless. It’s species can move objects with its mind.” 

“I know of such things.” She answered vaguely. “The songs of eons past tell of battles between Mandalore the Great and an order of sorcerers called Jedi that fought with such powers.” 

“Is it an enemy?” Din asked after a moment of hesitation. There was a part of him that dreaded the answer, that dreaded the idea that the child could be an enemy to his creed. 

“No, it’s kind were enemies, but this individual is not.” The armourer answered. “It is your foundling. By creed, it is in your care.” She said directly.

From beside her, Iella heard Din’s sharp intake of breath as his gaze shifted towards the child who was looking at him with wide eyes, as if he could feel Din’s sudden panic.

“You wish me to train this thing?” He spoke with disbelief.

“It is too weak, it would die. You have no choice. You must reunite it with its own kind.” 

Behind his helmet, his face twisted with frustration. He knew taking care of both the child and Iella would be difficult work, but now, his chance to help Iella, to kill Voros and find a way to restore her memory, was becoming more and more of an impossibility. 

He didn’t know if he could do both, help Iella and find the child’s kind. 

“You expect me to search the galaxy for the home of this creature and deliver it to a race of enemy sorcerers while trying to avenge my wife from Imperial warlords?” He questioned, sarcasm laced in his tone bitterly. 

The armourer just turned her helmet to face Din, unfazed by his tone. “This is the way.” She stated simply. 

Din sighed heavily, bowing his head slightly in resignation. 

“You take your riduur to be helpless?” The armourer chided, catching the couple off guard. Din tensed at the accusation, clenching his hands into fists as he tried not to become angry. “You came to us a fighter, you continued to learn under the guide of your partner,” She said to Iella, motioning between her and Din, who felt himself blushing.

He always did when the armourer insinuated what was between them, even after all these years. 

“Your time under the Imperial thumb has taught you to be a deadly warrior. You are more capable than ever before. Finding the child’s home, finding your vengeance, it will be difficult… but not impossible.” 

Iella was dumbfounded by the armourer’s words, by her insistence of her strength. Coming from such an intimidating and strong woman herself, Iella felt vindicated, despite the methods that made her this way.

“Those tunnels are gonna be lousy with Imps soon. We gotta get out of here.” Cara interjected impatiently, reminding them of the coming enemy.

“I’m staying.” Din said abruptly and Iella turned on her heel to look at him sternly.

“What? You can’t be serious?” 

“I need to help her and I need to heal.  _ You  _ need to get to safety, I can’t let Gideon get close to you.” He told her, practically pleading with her again to go. He couldn’t bear the thought of her back in the clutches of those men and he was willing to die to keep that from happening.

“You must go.” The armourer told him. “A foundling is in your care. By creed, until it is of age or reunited with its own kind, you are its father, and you, its mother.” She said to the stunned couple.

Iella and Din shared a look, the both of them feeling overwhelmed at the prospect of parenthood that was thrown at them. 

“You have earned your signet.” The armourer announced as she gathered her tools and stepped towards Din, beginning to engrave his pauldron. “You are a clan of three.” 

Din looked down at the mudhorn signet, his chest tightening at the memory, the first time the child had saved him. 

“Thank you.” He choked out. “I will wear this with honour.”

Suddenly, a crash sounded from afar, a distant explosion of blaster fire as Stormtroopers fired their way through the grate that had given away their path of escape. 

“We should go.” Karga said impatiently, his eyes wearily watching the doorway as his hands tightened on his weapon anxiously.

“IG, please guard the outer hallway. A scouting party draws near.” 

The droid complied without question, handing over the child to Cara who stood closest and she immediately recoiled, staring down at the child uncomfortably.

“Yeah, I don’t do the whole baby thing.” 

“I’ll take him.” Iella spoke up, taking the child from her arms, earning a look of gratitude and a sigh of relief from Cara. She held him close, leaning down so her chin rested above his head and he nestled into the crook of her neck comfortably. 

“I have one more gift for your journey.” The armourer spoke again, gaining their attention. “Have you trained in the Rising Phoenix?”

“When I was a boy.”

Iella furrowed her brows, trying to work through her memory for any recollection, but she came up empty. She didn’t remember Din ever mentioning it and it left her feeling downtrodden yet again.

Her eyes widened as the armourer handed to Din a pristine jet pack. She could practically feel the pride emanating off of Din, she could picture his shy smile in her mind, as he held the gadget carefully.

Iella flinched, the moment soon ruined as shots rang out from down the hall. She held the child closer, shielding its body with her arms as he whined softly in fright at the noise, picking up on everyone’s anxious feelings.

“It’s ok.” She whispered to him soothingly, vowing to herself that she would do everything in her power to protect him. 

They all tensed, readying their weapons as heavy footsteps approached the room. She heard soft footfalls behind her and watched from the corner of her eye as Din came to stand in front of her, protecting her and the child.

Her heart raced at his blatant show of protectiveness and, to her, a show of affection with how willing he was to lay himself on the line for her. 

They all simultaneously relaxed, their tense shoulders relaxing as they saw IG-11 step into the room and not a platoon of troopers gunning for their blood. 

Despite the relief, Iella’s racing heart did not slow. Not with how Din kept close to her side, practically hovering over her. 

“More will come. You must go.” The armourer said urgingly. 

“Come with us.”

“My place is here.” She insisted. “Be safe on your journey.”

“Thank you.” Din said sincerely and, with a hand resting on the small of his wife’s back, they began to leave, until the authoritative voice called out again.

“Iella.” 

She stopped in her tracks, turning back towards the armourer nervously. The intimidating woman, despite the small remnants of familiarity in her mind, put her on edge. 

“Keep your focus. The mind is a tricky thing, but you will heal in time.” The armourer spoke gently and assuringly, surprising the couple thoroughly. 

Din tensed slightly, his hand moving from the small of her back to wrap around her waist as if just the acknowledgement of her state of mind made him need her closer to him. 

Iella opened her mouth to speak, but no words came to mind. There were no words to capture what she was feeling, what she was going through, or what those assurances made her feel.

She just nodded jovially to the woman, silently thanking her, and together they left the room.

Din’s grip tightened on her, causing her to look up at him, assuring him she was ok with the slightest twitch of her lips. He didn’t exactly believe she was ok, not after everything that had happened today and the fact that they still weren’t in the clear, but he decided now wasn’t the time to question it.

They walked behind the others, allowing themselves the barest form of connection they could find in their dire situation. 

“Are you ok?” Iella whispered so the others wouldn’t hear. 

Din just sighed in response. He honestly didn’t have an answer. It wasn't easy to see the pile of abandoned armour, to know that so many had been forced from the creed, because of him, because of his decision to save the child. 

The guilt that weighed on his shoulders hurt almost as much as the dull throbbing in his head. 

“I’m fine.” He finally answered, his tone not convincing in the slightest. Which he knew when he saw how Iella tensed beside him, but she kept quiet, sensing that he wasn’t ready to talk about it just yet.

“How’s your head?”

“Better.” He told her, this time genuinely. 

She nodded in relief, a slightest shaking breath leaving her and he could tell just how shaken she still was at leaving him behind. Despite him being alive and breathing right at her side, they were both still reeling from the separation, one they feared -no matter if for a short time- would be permanent.

He reached down, intertwining their fingers together as he held her hand tightly.

“We’re ok.” He whispered to her.

She nodded again, knowing exactly what fears he was trying to alleviate with his words. She knew he saw right through her. 

All too soon, they felt the temperature rising and heard the sound of the rushing lava river. 

They eyed the desolate boat the lay abandoned and the unmoving droid that steered it, both looking as decayed as the other.

“The ferry droid is fried.”

“If we push the boat out we can get it to float downstream.” Karga noted, ushering them all to move and they began to push at the boat, trying to get it off the ledge. 

Iella stayed back with the child in her arms, watching as Din and Karga tried their hardest, but to no avail. The boat refused to move.

“You guys mind getting out of the way?” Cara called out smugly as she brought her weapon off her shoulder.

Iella held back a snicker as they quickly moved out of her line of fire. She wondered why they didn’t let the shock trooper handle it in the first place.

They all looked at Cara appraisingly as she successfully separated the boat from the ledge, giving them a self-congratulatory smile in response. They didn’t waste time getting on the boat, Din quickly hopping over the side and turning back to take Iella’s hand to help her with the child. 

Din kept close to her side as they began to slowly float along the river. They were antsy, knowing how close to freedom they were, but anxious about what else could possibly go wrong. They both knew there was no way Moff Gideon was letting them get away this easily.

A cracking noise behind them had them all turning hesitantly. Din took a large step over, shielding his wife and the child and pointing his blaster as the droid they thought to be dead beeped to life, slowly raising to its full height.

“He is asking where you would like to go.” IG translated for them. 

“Down river. To the lava flats.” Karga informed hesitantly, still slightly unwilling to trust the droid. 

They all unclenched when the droid began to paddle, taking their direction without any hassle, and they all put their weapons away, settling in for the slow ride. 

“What’s the plan when we get out?” Iella asked after a few minutes of silence. 

“We get the hell out of dodge.” Cara answered as if the answer were obvious and Iella was crazy for not understanding.

“And let Gideon get away?” 

“You wanna go toe to toe with him?” The shocktrooper asked in disbelief. 

“Well I sure as hell don’t want him alive.” Iella argued back sternly. Din put his hand over hers, silently willing her to calm down before another fight broke out, this time between each other.

“We’ll figure it out when we’re in the clear.” He told them and it was back to silence. 

He kept his hand over hers, his gloved thumb gently soothing over her knuckles in an attempt to keep her calm and not panic over what happened next, something they were both dreading.

After a few more minutes slowly floating down the river, they saw the wreath of light, the first sign of the end of the cave.

“That’s it! We’re free.” Karga said happily. 

Din got to his feet, changing the settings on his helmet to scan for heat signatures as he looked out the entrance of the cave. His stomach dropped when he saw the outlines of at least a dozen troopers waiting for them at the ready.

“No, we’re not.” He said darkly. “There’s stormtroopers flanking the mouth of the tunnel. It looks like an entire platoon. They must know we’re coming.”

“Stop the boat.” 

Despite the orders, the droid continued to paddle, bringing them closer and closer to the opening. 

“Hey, Droid, I said stop the boat.” Cara demanded angrily, panic laced in her voice. The droid continued to deny the order, its motions refusing to stop. Cara grit her teeth and stomped forward, blowing the head off the machine with her blaster.

She looked around in shock, huffing angrily as the boat continued to move despite the droid working its movements. 

“What do we do now?”

“Looks like we fight.” 

“There are too many.” Din refused immediately, unwilling to put his wife back into the line of fire, especially now that they had the baby in their care. 

“They will not be satisfied with anything less than the child or their asset.” IG noted and Iella grit her teeth angrily.

“Don’t call me their asset.” She hissed at the droid.

“I will eliminate the enemy and you will escape.” IG continued, disregarding Iella’s words. 

“We’re getting close.” Cara warned. 

“I still have the security protocols from my manufacturer. If my designs are compromised, I must self-destruct.”

“What are you talking about?” Din asked the droid in confusion. He certainly knew the words ‘self-destruct’ and he didn’t like the sound of it.

“I am not permitted to be captured. I must be destroyed.”

“You can’t self-destruct. Your base command is to watch the child. That supersedes your manufacturer’s protocol, right?” 

“Correct.” IG answered swiftly.

“Good. Now, grab a blaster and help us shoot our way out.” Din ordered. He didn’t like their chances against the platoon, but after seeing how the droid fought in the courtyard earlier, he knew their chances would be a lot better if they had its reinforcements.

“Victory through combat is impossible. We will be captured. The child and Miss Yazir will be lost. Sadly, there is no scenario where they are saved, in which I survive.”

“You’re not going anywhere. We need you.”

“Please tell me the child will be safe in your care.” The droid interrupted, not engaging Din’s words. “If you do so, I can default to my secondary command.”

“He’ll be safe with us.” Iella interjected, looking at the droid sadly. 

“You can’t do this. You’ll be destroyed.” Din spoke up, unwilling to allow what was quickly becoming their only plan.

“And you will live, and I will have served my purpose.” 

The child in Iella’s arms whined softly, as if he knew what was about to happen. IG stepped forward, caressing the child’s large ear softly, Iella would have guessed fondly if the droid were capable of emotions.

The droid then moved to haul itself off the boat, stepping into the lava.

“IG, what are you doing?” Karga yelled and they all watched in horror as the droid trudged its way forward, its body lurching and shuddering as the lava began to compromise its wiring. 

Iella felt Din’s arm wrap around her waist once again as they all watched sadly as the droid sacrificed itself for them.

She flinched as the explosion rang out, holding the child closer. Her chest tightened at the sound of his frightened coo as he nuzzled in closer to her. 

“It’s ok.” She whispered, soothing him softly. 

Din watched the two of them carefully, a whirlwind of emotions swirling within him as he did. To watch her care for him so lovingly sent his entire body alight with love, but the lingering fear and sadness over their current situation settled over him so harshly, he was unable to even bask in the good feeling that felt so rare.

The boat soon made it to the end of the river, docking against the bank outside of the cave. 

Iella’s eyes narrowed at the sudden light and as soon as they adjusted, she looked around in equal parts awe and horror at the smoking bodily remains that lay scattered around the opening of the cave. The droid’s sacrifice was bloody and horrific, but heroic. It gave them a fighting chance to survive.

The ounce of relief was short lived as the unmistakable sound of a tie-fighter sounded from a distant, quickly getting closer. 

“It’s Moff Gideon!” Cara yelled, quickly reaching for her weapon as the tie-fighter flew above them.

“Shit.” Iella hissed under her breath, her hands beginning to shake at his incoming attack, at the knowledge that he wasn’t giving up until he had what he wanted, until she was torn away from her husband again.

She knelt down, holding the child close to shield him from the shots that came at them. Knowing her blaster would be useless, she focused on protecting the child as she let Cara, with her enormous gun, hold down fire. 

“Our blasters are useless against that thing.” 

“Let’s make the baby do the magic hand thing.” Karga suggested, turning to the baby eagerly. “Come on, baby! Do the magic hand thing.” 

The child smiled at Karga, raising his little hand to wave at the old man.

Iella stared at the man with bewilderment. “I don’t think that’s how it works!” She yelled in frustration, slowly losing her patience more with each passing second.

“Well, then, how  _ does _ it work?”

“I don’t know!”

“He’s not gonna risk blowing this thing, not with you two still here.” Cara pointed out. 

“So what do we do? I can try to shield you and-”

“No!” Din barked, stopping her plan before she could even finish. “I have an idea.” 

Iella looked over at him and her eyes widened as she watched him strap the jet pack to his back. 

“What are you doing? Don’t you need training for that thing?” 

“I have enough.” Din shrugged, eyeing the incoming tie-fighter intently, only one thing on his mind and it sure as hell wasn’t  _ his  _ safety.

“But…” Iella sputtered, trying to find an explanation, any explanation, to keep him from doing this. She wanted Gideon dead, but Voros was still out there. Killing Gideon wouldn’t leave them home free and she didn’t want Din risking his life for this.

But for Din, it was all he could think about. Avenging his wife, even if it was only the side man, would be a hell of a satisfying start.

Sensing her fear, he turned to face her, grabbing her free hand tightly. 

“I’ll be fine.” He assured her softly, keeping his voice low in the guise of privacy even though he knew Karga and Cara were  _ right there _ . “I need to do this.” 

Iella looked at him intently. The desperation in his voice was easy to hear and there was no way she could refuse. She nodded slowly, squeezing his hand tightly.

“Be careful.”

“I always am.” He said back swiftly and Iella rolled her eyes.

“I’m positive that’s not true.”

She heard Din snicker and shake his head and within the next second he was squaring his shoulders, his body tensing and he took off. 

Her stomach twisted with nerves as she watched him fly through the air, following after Gideon’s tie-fighter. Her heart was thumping in her chest wildly as she watched Din struggle to catch a grip on the ship that flew erratically to throw him off. 

She winced and turned her head to avoid watching as Din was tossed around carelessly. Despite knowing he had a jetpack to keep him in the air, it was too much to watch. She met Cara’s gaze behind her and the sympathy in her eyes only made her feel like more of a coward.

“He did it!” Karga yelled and Iella’s head snapped up and the sight that met her almost made her heart stop.

Watching the tie-fighter fall out of the sky in a smoking cloud sent an ache through her she never expected to feel. 

_ This must be what Din saw the day he lost me,  _ she thought to herself darkly.

She shook the thoughts from her head, forcing herself past the day it all started and tried to allow herself to feel the relief that wanted to claw its way through at the knowledge of Gideon’s demise. 

A smile was growing as she watched Din land shakily, still needing that damn training he insisted he already had. She quickly handed the child off to Cara who smiled knowingly back at her.

Iella didn’t think of the possible embarrassment that would follow, but she didn’t care. She ran towards Din and as soon as it was possible, she was throwing her arms around him tightly, almost throwing him off balance for the second time that day.

“I told you I’d be ok.” He breathed out, his arms wrapping around her waist to hold her just as tightly. 

Iella huffed out a laugh and buried her head into the crook of his neck as she began to feel tears stinging her eyes.

“Thank you.” She whispered hoarsely as she tried hard not to cry.

Din let out a shaking breath, his arms holding her tighter as his hands fisted into the material of her shirt as if warding off everything that wanted to tear her away from him.

He could feel his own tears welling in his eyes at the pure relief in her voice. He’d done it. Finally, he was able to do  _ something  _ to help her. 

After feeling so helpless for so long, it was overwhelming to finally get a win, to defeat just one of the men that had hurt her so badly. It was what he vowed to do and he had finally been able to fulfill his vow, to protect her. 

He pulled away slightly and pressed his helmet covered forehead to hers, reveling in the sigh of contentment that left her lips at the connection.

The couple marveled in their relief, at their survival, unaware of the enemy that remained. The enemy that was even more incensed to get his asset back and destroy every ounce of happiness that Din Djarin possessed. 


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the longest chapter, by far... and there's finally smut...Hope you enjoy! xx

Iella felt her legs continue to tremble, even after they had landed safely on the sturdy ground. Holding onto Din for life as he flew them back to the crest with his new jetpack was not something she had been prepared for.

She watched pensively as Din, who still had the child cradled in his arms protectively, placed the final rock on Kuiil’s resting place. Her heart ached for the ugnaught, for the gruesome end he met.

She tried hard not to think too hard on the circumstances that led to his death. She would surely break down if she did. 

“You ready?” Din’s voice broke her from her thoughts. She nodded slowly, expecting him to hand off the child to her as they made their way onto the ship, but she was pleasantly surprised when he kept the child in his arms, holding him closely.

Biting her lip to hide her smile, she followed along with them, getting situated in the cockpit. Her attention turned towards the child as he whined in discomfort the second Din had set him down on his own chair.

He turned towards Iella, his big eyes pleading and his little arms stretched out towards her. She laughed softly and got to her feet, bringing him into her arms and settling him on her lap as she sat in the co-pilot's seat.

“Womp rat.” Din muttered at the child’s actions, though the amusement in his tone was obvious. Din smiled under his helmet, turning to watch his wife and the child and his brows furrowed when he saw the child reaching up to Iella’s neck.

Iella looked down at what he was reaching for and her stomach twisted with nerves as she pulled out the necklace Din had given her to look after in his demise, which thankfully hadn’t happened.

She pulled it over her head, holding it out for him to take.

“Here, you should have this back.”

Din felt a heavy weight on his chest as he looked down at the mythosaur pendant and the ring next to it. 

With bated breath, anxiety filling him as he readied himself for her reaction, he pulled the ring from the necklace and slowly, with slightly trembling hands, pulled the glove from his left hand. 

Iella’s eyes widened, her breath getting caught in her throat as she watched him place the wedding ring back on his finger. 

The symbol was enough to knock her off her feet. Din hadn’t told her much about their wedding and to see the ring on his finger, to have such concrete evidence of a time of her life she couldn’t remember was mind bending.

Ignoring the stinging of tears in his eyes as he stared down at the ring on his finger once again, he reluctantly placed his glove back on. 

“Did I wear one?” Iella asked quietly, not trusting her voice to be any louder.

He nodded silently and she had to swallow the lump in her throat before it could rear its head and make her break down. To know those Imperial assholes had taken it from her only made her hate them all the more, something she hadn’t thought was possible, she figured she was already at maximum capacity.

She looked down at her bare hand with narrowed eyes, trying to picture the ring on her finger, trying to remember what it looked like, what Din looked like as he placed it on her finger.

But she had no recollection.

“Why don’t you look after this for me.” Din spoke to the child, needing to change the subject before it became too much for either of them to handle.

He leaned forward, carefully placing the necklace over the child’s head and he cooed happily, immediately shoving the pendant in his mouth.

Iella laughed softly, staring down at the child with a wide smile growing. Feeling a heavy gaze on her, she raised her head and met Din’s helmet facing her as he watched them fondly, his heart skipping a beat within his chest at the sight of her smile.

The air between them was electric, filled with a tension that was rife with unspoken words and held back actions. 

Din was determined to focus on flying the crest and not her lingering gaze on his back, but it was becoming increasingly more difficult as the minutes passed. He thought back to the events of the day and his heart suddenly dropped to his stomach as he remembered what he’d said to her on his supposed death bed.

He’d said those three words he’d been holding back for weeks. 

It made him incredibly nervous to think of pushing her too far, of scaring her away, but she was still here. She was by his side even after he’d said those words. 

“I’m gonna put him down for the night.” Iella spoke suddenly, startling him out of his whirlwind of thoughts and all he could do was nod in response.

He let out a long exhale as soon as she was out of the cockpit and he tore his helmet off, hoping it would make it easier to breathe. But the problem wasn’t the helmet. The problem was this weight of unknowing that had been crushing him since the moment he saw her again.

After everything they’d been through in just one day, things between them were different now, that much was certain. 

But he was still left in the dark about where they stood. He’d told her he loved her, they were reluctant to ever leave each other’s side and when they had, she had acted like a wife who had to say goodbye to her husband.

Her reaction to his injury and separation, no matter how heart wrenching to watch, had given him hope for their future. 

“Hey, you ok?” Her voice rang out again, making him flinch. He hadn’t even realized she was back in the cockpit. 

He looked up at her and the slight flinch of her features as she saw the dried blood on his face didn’t go unnoticed.

“I’m ok.” He assured her and it was clear she didn’t quite believe him as she began to worry her lip between her teeth.

But she didn’t argue and sat back in her seat, leaning her head back and letting her eyes fall closed as a heavy sigh escaped her lips. Now that they were stagnant and not running for their lives, she could begin to feel every ache in her body.

“Are  _ you _ ok?” Din asked, watching her every movement carefully. She nodded, keeping her eyes closed as the exhaustion from what they’d been through began to catch up to her.

“It’s been a long day.” She mumbled tiredly. 

“Are you hurt?” 

Her eyes blinked open slowly, meeting Din’s worried gaze and she repressed another smile at his blatant protectiveness that he was so unaware of. 

“No, I’m fine.” She told him, but his worried gaze never wavered. “I promise.” She insisted sincerely. 

He just nodded slowly, his eyes continuing to rake over her body, as if to look for any sign that she wasn’t truly ok. 

“Why don’t you get cleaned up and get some rest. You need it.” 

Din nodded in agreement, his body and his head that was still throbbing practically screaming at him to go lay down. But the thought of not being by her side after everything they’d suffered through, not even just today, felt revolting.

“Can…” He spoke up softly, clearing his throat. “Can you come with me?” 

Iella stared back at him in surprise at his question. The vulnerability in his voice, the hesitation and the slight fear she heard left her speechless. She just nodded dumbly, unable to speak any words. 

He was practically giddy as he stood from his chair. He held out his hand for her and, as she took his hand in hers, they were both amazed at what just a simple gesture could do to them. 

No words were spoken between them as Din guided them to the fresher. Neither one spoke about how they could feel the others heart racing as they were pressed against each other in the cramped space. 

Iella motioned for him to sit and he did so blindly, his eyes watching her intently, as if he were in a trance and every one of her movements only served to pull him in further and further into her spell.

She wet a towel and moved to kneel in front of him, noting how his body tensed slightly and his breathing hitched as she did. Their eyes met and it was as if the galaxy around them stopped, ceasing to exist.

Reaching out, she gently grasped his chin to keep him still and even that slight touch was enough to bring Din to his knees. His eyes closed at the feeling, swallowing against that ball of emotion that threatened to escape.

He was unable to hold back the slight gasp as her hand cradled his cheek softly. 

It wasn’t just that touch felt so foreign to him after all that time alone, but it was  _ her  _ touch, one that he once feared he would never feel again.

His eyes opened slowly as she dragged the wet towel across his jaw carefully. The determination in her eyes was what stirred him so deeply. It was as if she wouldn’t relax until his face was clean, until all traces of his injury were gone.

He knew the feeling well, it was one he felt regularly with her and to know she felt the same way made him feel so loved in a way he thought he would never feel again, not with her gone. 

But, with her gentle touch, he was reminded that she was right there with him.

Their eyes met and the air around them changed, one charged with lust, with the need to reassure each other that they were ok. It was common that a lot of their passionate trysts together were fueled from difficult hunts and moments of fear of losing the other.

Those were the days they could barely wait for the crest’s ramp to close or get their clothes off fast enough. 

Iella was almost breathless in anticipation at the look in Din’s eyes, one of hunger and want and  _ need _ .

He stared down at her with reverence, the familiar war waging in his mind as he fought hard between his need for her and the fear of making her uncomfortable. But his need was soon winning as she leaned closer to him, her hands still cradling his face softly.

“Can I-”

“Yes.” Iella was interrupting his question for consent before he could even finish. 

The second the word was spoken, Din was eagerly wrapping his arms around her waist tightly and crashing his lips to hers fiercely. Iella let bliss wash over her as her hands tangled in his messy hair as he kissed her like a man starved.

It was so much more fiery than the kiss they had shared days ago after the shit show that was the job with their old team. 

It was filled with so much more eagerness and needs of assurance, of their safety. 

His hands gripped her so tightly like he was scared she would be torn away from him. He held onto her like a life line as her lips that moved against his left him feeling dizzy. He briefly wondered if he had died back in that cantina and this was his heaven. 

The slight tug on his hair that made him moan loudly brought him back to the present. Without much thought, he tugged her upwards, pulling her onto his lap. Iella let out a sound of surprise that tore their lips from each other.

Din didn’t waste any time in planting kisses down the length of her neck, unwilling to not have his lips on her for even a second. Iella’s eyes widened as he found a spot above her collarbone, his teeth biting just the slightest, enough to have a quiet whimper escaping her.

She hadn’t even known that spot existed. But Din did. He knew exactly where to touch her, what spots made her moan, what spots made her sigh in contentment and what spots made her giggle. 

He would never forget them. 

His lips left her neck and he looked up at her, their eyes meeting like two sparks igniting into flames. She leaned down, their lips finding each other again, but this time slowly, taking time to indulge in each other carefully.

Din suddenly realized how quickly it had turned into something a lot more than he ever intended. Not that he was complaining, but he knew there was no way she wasn’t feeling his hardness under her thigh, a clear indication of how much she drove him wild.

And he knew that was a lot more than anything she was ready for in her state of mind. 

He kissed her fervently, pouring every ounce of love he had for her into that final kiss before pulling away slowly, reluctantly. 

Their breathing was uneven and ragged as they stayed wrapped in each other's arms, neither of them willing to put too much space between them. 

“Mesh’la.” Din whispered as he stared up at her with shining eyes.

Iella looked down at him, a look of amazement on her face.  _ Beautiful.  _ The word rattled around her brain. A giddy feeling suddenly overtook her. Even if it was just a simple word, the remembrance of it made her more than excited. 

She knew Din had spoken that word before, she knew what it meant and she knew it was something she’d known for a long time.

She smiled widely and leaned down, pressing her forehead against his.

“Beautiful.” She whispered back to him, emotion swelling within her as she watched Din’s eyes fall closed and his face twist into an expression of both relief and anguish. 

He held her tighter, burying his face in the crook of her neck so she wouldn’t see how much that word affected him, how much it meant to him for her to remember it. 

~~~

Din watched with a hidden smile as Iella played with the child who was thrilled to have her attention. The longing within him was a constant whenever he watched the two of them together, he wondered if it would ever stop.

“So, where to next?” Iella asked, cradling the child in her arms who snuggled in contentedly.

“I think we should lay low for a while. Find somewhere quiet and have some time to relax. We deserve it.” 

Iella’s face broke out into a smile at his words. She was more than surprised by his idea. She may not remember a lot about him or their relationship, but she learned enough by her time with him to know relaxing and having quiet time wasn’t exactly on brand for him.

“I think that’s a great idea. Where do you think we should go?”

“Scarif?” He suggested as he wrung his hands together nervously. 

Iella nodded thoughtfully. “I’ve never been to Scarif.” She mused and with her gaze on the child she missed the way Din’s body practically sagged in defeat at her words.

His hands tightened on the ship controls as he tried to hold back his frustration, not wanting to take it out on her when it wasn’t her fault, but he couldn’t deny how deep those words had cut him. 

At his silence, Iella’s gaze rose, finding him curiously. She could sense the growing tension, she could practically feel it coming off of him in stifling waves.

“Is everything ok?” She asked slowly, confused as to why his attitude had taken the sudden turn.

“It’s fine.” He said, his voice clipped and her face twisted in confusion. 

“You don’t seem fine.” She said quietly, nervous to confront him when it was clear he was in a bad mood.

Din sighed, his head bowing low. He debated on whether or not to tell her what had him so worked up. He didn’t want to disappoint her, but he also didn’t like the thought of keeping things from her.

“We…” He paused, taking a deep breath as he prepared for the inevitable sadness he would cause her. “We got married on Scarif.” He admitted quietly, his voice barely above a whisper.

Iella’s face dropped, a look of horror building in her eyes. He sounded so hurt and it _ destroyed  _ her that she was the one to make him sound that way. 

“I… I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“No, don’t do that. It’s not your fault.” He interrupted her, knowing he’d only feel worse if she apologized to him for her current state. 

He wasn’t about to put that on her. 

“I just…” She trailed off, unable to put into words how useless she felt. “I don’t wanna forget stuff about us. I feel like…”

“Like what?” He prompted, turning the pilot’s chair to face her as he took her hands in his. His anger was dissipating into worry as he watched her face twist into one of sadness.

“I feel like it’s not enough... me, right now. I can’t be that person-”

“El, don’t, please.” He pleaded to her. “I told you, I’m right here and I’m not leaving. I’m never gonna give up on you.” 

Iella looked up at him, disagreement in her eyes, but he stopped her before she could even try to refuse him.

“We just need more time. But I know we’ll figure this out.” 

They both knew it was a hollow promise. But it was all they had and Din would be damned if he didn’t hold onto it with all he had. 

“Ok.” Iella whispered, having no trouble putting her trust in him yet again. She squeezed his hands in hers and breathed deeply to push past the welling emotion. “So, tell me about Scarif. Where did we get married?”

Din smiled softly, slightly in awe at her ability to bounce back from the many setbacks that were thrown at them. “We got married by the water. You grew up on a desert planet so we took every chance we could to go see the oceans.” 

He continued to tell her everything he knew about the planet, whether it was relevant or not. It was comforting for the both of them, settling into a routine of Din filling in the gaps of her mind, personal or not.

Iella was smiling softly at him the entire time, loving the sound of his voice, loving that he was doing this for her. Even as they landed on the sandy beaches of Scarif, she continued to ask questions about the galaxy she had forgotten, questions he was all too happy to answer.

As soon as the ramp lowered, Din ceased his long winded explanations and watched with a smile as Iella looked around at the surrounding trees with a content expression on her face. And he practically melted as he saw the awe in her eyes as they walked further and she saw the crashing waves of the ocean.

He remembered that same look on her face over a year ago when they had married. 

Unable to resist any longer, he reached out, taking her hand in his, making her look up at him in slight surprise, before a small smile grew and she tightened her grip on his hand. 

They walked to the town center, both Iella and the child marveling at the decorated town square and the people dressed to the nines that they crossed. 

“What’s going on?”

Din shrugged. “Must be some kind of festival.” He felt his pulse beginning to race as he looked around at the crowds of people. “If this is too much we can leave, find somewhere else-”

“No, this is… it’s beautiful.” She stopped him, holding tighter to his hand in assurance. 

Din looked at her intently, searching her eyes for any sign of unease, but he found none. The wistful smile on her face was the most relaxed he’d seen her in a long time. There was no way he was taking that away from her.

They walked through the crowded streets, occasionally stopping at vendors the child would get excited by. They were both slightly one edge by the sheer amount of people so close, but they were in desperate need for something good, for time to unwind.

They weren’t going to let their own reservations ruin what would be a perfect day.

“Why don’t we get some food?” He offered, guiding her towards one of the many stands that were selling those colourful berries he knew she loved.

The woman behind the stand smiled widely as they approached, not taken back at the sight of the fully armoured Mandalorian which would make most people cower. Even her two children looked up at Din with eyes of wonder instead of fear. 

“How can I help you two?” She asked warmly. 

“We’ll take two servings.” Din ordered and the child whined, looking up at him in confusion, making him sigh heavily. “Three servings.” He corrected.

The woman laughed softly and began to package up their food. “He’s quite the looker.” She commented, making the child laugh delightedly at her attention.

“Oh, he knows.” Iella mumbled and the woman laughed again, eyeing the couple with interest.

“Are you two from here or just visiting?”

“Just visiting.” Din answered, his tone slightly clipped, his reflexive reaction to anyone trying to get information from them, no matter how miniscule.

“Here for the festival then?” She asked and they just nodded, not willing to give the real reason for why they were there.

Taking time to relax after fighting off an Imperial warlord wasn’t exactly something they wanted to advertise.

“Well, I hope you have time to watch the firework display tonight. It’s always been a favourite and well…” She paused, taking a moment to collect herself as emotion crossed across her once happy features. “It’s close to everyone’s heart.” 

Iella’s brows furrowed, her interest peaked, but she didn’t want to set off the woman who was clearly upset over something. Seeing the look of confusion on her face, the woman’s eyes widened, realizing they were unaware.

“Oh you don’t know! We’ve set up a little memorial after the tragedy a few months ago.” She explained, wrapping her arms around her young daughter who was suddenly frowning deeply and clinging to her mother’s leg tightly.

“Tragedy?”

The woman swallowed thickly, tears stinging her eyes and she whispered an apology, trying discreetly to wipe them before they fell.

“Our village was attacked. There were rumours about… Imperials.” She whispered the word as if it were cursed -and it probably was- and wrapped her arms around herself protectively. “A few ex-soldiers from the rebellion had settled here and well…” She trailed off.

“I’m so sorry. That’s awful.” Iella said, ignoring the instant wave of guilt that flooded her knowing she had worked for, unknowingly or not, a side that caused so much pain to so many people.

“My husband was one of them. He took a shift at the transport station and never came home.” She said sadly with a sniffle. 

Iella’s blood suddenly ran cold. 

_ Tell me or I’ll make you watch your wife and daughters bleed out in front of you. _

The words she’d threatened the man with to get information on a target rattled around her brain. She knew it was no coincidence. She had killed this woman’s husband.

She looked at the woman, the poor woman who was his wife, the woman she had made a widow and a single mother. 

Her eyes fell to the young children she had taken their father from and she suddenly felt the need to throw up.

“I’m sorry for your loss.” Din said, his eyes flickering down to Iella once he noticed how rigid she’d gone.

Her face had gone pale and tears were brimming in her eyes. Even from his distance, he could see the rapid rise and fall of her chest. Something was wrong.

“Excuse us.” He said stiffly and wrapped his arm around Iella’s waist, practically carrying her away from the stand, ignoring the woman who tried to call out to them about their forgotten order.

Iella let herself get carried away, thankful for his sturdy arm around her, feeling like it was the only thing keeping her vertical. 

He guided her through the crowds, being more forceful with passerbys than he needed to, but his judgement was certainly clouded with the state his wife was in. He veered off into an alleyway that was thankfully empty and helped her lean against the wall behind her.

“What happened, are you ok?” He asked frantically, his hands reaching up to cradle her cheeks, forcing her to look at him. 

Iella just shook her head wordlessly, the expression of horror still marring her features.

“Iella, talk to me. What was that?”

It took her a moment to gain the courage to answer and the silence was driving him crazy, making him practically tremble with nerves.

“I killed him.” She finally spoke, her voice monotonous and void of any emotion, which was only one of the things that terrified him in that moment.

“You… w-what?”

“Her husband. I killed him. Those Rebellion soldiers, I killed all of them.” 

Din’s mouth was agape behind his helmet, staring at his wife in shock. He knew, logically, that it made sense, but he still had trouble believing that the woman he knew was capable of the atrocities she’d told him about.

It terrified him to know what she did and if  _ he  _ was feeling that way, he could barely imagine what she was going through.

“El, that wasn’t you _.  _ Voros manipulated you, he  _ broke  _ you, he-”

“It was me!” She yelled at him, snapping her mouth closed and bowing her head shamefully when she heard the child whine sadly at her angry tone. “I did those things, Din. It was me, my hands that slit their throats and watched them die.”

“No, listen to me, it was your hands, but not your mind. What Voros did to you, what Gideon did to you, it was torture, it was abuse. They played with your mind until there was nothing left, until  _ Iella  _ was gone.”

His words were blunt and harsher than he ever imagined himself speaking to her, but she needed the harsh truth, she needed to understand just how twisted her captors were and why the blame fell on  _ them  _ and not her.

“I ruined that family. And I know there’s so many others, ones I don’t even remember.” She whispered, tears steadily falling down her cheeks.

Din let out a heavy exhale, feeling at a loss as to what to say to help her. He didn’t want to believe in the reality that there was nothing he could do. That wasn’t good enough for him.

He reached up, gently brushing away her tears with his gloved thumb. 

“It makes me feel like… I don’t wanna remember anything else.” She admitted regretfully. 

Din’s heart stopped. His face dropped and he let his hand fall from her face. They were left to stand in silence for a few minutes. He didn’t have words to explain how utterly heartbroken he was, how she had just decimated every single part of his being with those words. 

“We should-” He cleared his throat, hoping she hadn’t heard how wrecked his voice was. “We should head back.” 

She nodded slowly, guilt weighing heavily on her chest, not just for the knowledge that she had ruined a family, but for putting such sadness in Din’s voice… again.

They began to walk back through the festival to get to the crest and Iella felt like it broke a piece of her when Din didn’t reach for her hand.

~~~

She’d been different since that moment, barely speaking two words to him, not playing carefreely with the child like she used to, and barely even looking at him. 

He hadn’t seen her smile since and it absolutely killed him. He watched her become a shell of herself, even a shell of the already damaged version of herself. He felt useless as he watched her retreat into herself.

Watching as her eyes became dimmer each day was like a knife in the heart and he had no idea what to do. 

He decided the only thing they could do was focus on their task and find leads to the child’s people. It was at least something to distract himself from the aching in his chest, from the hole that had seemingly been ripped from his soul.

“I gotta meet with some smuggler at a cantina, apparently he has some intel, and then I have to go to the market and pick up some food for us before we run out, so I won’t be back until after dark.” He told her as they landed on the next seedy planet of their journey.

“I can go to the market.” She offered, startling him with the most complete sentence she’d said in days.

He paused for a moment, then shook off his surprise. “Are you sure? I don’t mind going.”

“I can do it.” She told him sternly. “I’ll take the kid, too. I don’t want him in some gross cantina.” 

“Ok.” He said, still slightly stunned by her offer. “Be careful. Get back to the crest and lock it if anything goes wrong.” 

She nodded, her expression softer than before as his protectiveness radiated through his words, warming something inside her that had fallen dormant since the incident on Scarif.

Din gathered his weapons and opened the ramp of the ship, taking the first few steps down before stopping and turning on his heel to face her.

“Iella,” He called to her and his throat suddenly choked up as she looked back at him, the most eye contact they’d had in days. “I’m serious. Anything happens, you call me and get back here.” 

“I will, I promise.” 

He nodded slowly, having to force his feet to move. Seeing the softest expression on her face he had in days made him extremely reluctant to leave. He wanted to stay and bask in it as much as he could, but duty called.

Iella let out a ragged breath as Din left the ship. The guilt she was feeling since Scarif was beginning to feel all consuming. She could tell how much she was hurting Din with her attitude and it crushed her, but she just couldn’t stop herself, she couldn’t drag herself out of the hole of despair she had fallen into.

A soft coo made her look down and she smiled lightly as the child held onto her leg, looking up at her expectantly. 

“C’mon, Kid.” She hoisted him up and placed him in the bag they used to hold him, the cradle becoming a little too conspicuous. 

She breathed in the fresh air as she stepped off the ramp, hoping it would revive something within her as it did on Scarif. She’d felt practically invincible then, she’d felt more carefree than she had in a long time before it had come to a crumbling halt.

She didn’t know what to do to get that back.

Her guards were high as she maneuvered herself through the market, keeping a wide berth from anyone that crossed her path. She was thankful for the hooded cloak Din had found for her that had allowed her to hide her very obvious purple hair. It made her feel like she could blend into the background with ease.

She paid a vendor with the minimal credits they had and carried their few bags of food that would hopefully last them until their next pit stop that would be Maker knows where. 

The child whined, his little arms stretching out as they passed a vendor with delicious looking sweet treats. Iella frowned deeply. There was no way they could afford any kind of indulgence now.

“I’m sorry, buddy. Maybe next time.” She told him, caressing the top of his wrinkled head gently, which effectively soothed him. The child had been longing for her attention for days and he was just happy to finally have it back.

They continued to walk through the market, her eyes carelessly roaming over the vendors and the people that passed. She suddenly stopped in her tracks abruptly, her stomach dropping as the ice cold feeling of fear washed over her so intensely, it made her dizzy. 

There were two men making their way through the crowd, head and shoulders above the rest of the crowd, their bulky muscles warning off any passerbys of getting too close.

She knew them. 

Her brows furrowed, her chest begging to heave with panic breaths as she wracked her brain for the answer to why they were familiar.

Images suddenly flashed in her mind, images of dead bodies bleeding out at her feet, chaos surrounding her, men standing at her side, looking just as deadly as she did. 

They worked with Voros. They were assassins, just like her. 

Having yet another reminder of her gruesome past thrown in her face was the breaking point. It dissolved the already thin thread that was holding her together. 

A whimper escaped her before she could stop it and she was frozen to her spot in terror, unable to listen to every instinct that told her to get the hell away from them as quickly as possible.

A yelp escaped her as her body was pushed forward. 

“Whoa, sorry, didn’t see you there.” A man smiled at her politely before continuing on his way, having bumped into her still form in the middle of the crowded path. 

She looked up with wide eyes, clocking the men again, making sure they hadn’t noticed the slight scuffle. They continued to peruse the vendors, paying her no mind, causing her to let out a ragged breath of relief. 

Shaking herself from her fear, she forced her feet to move, unsteadily making her way down the maze of alleyways, away from the crowds. 

Harsh breaths left her lips, her mind becoming hazy as the veil of panic surrounded her fully, dulling her senses and the noises around her. She staggered as she walked, throwing her arms out to catch herself against a small building before she could fall.

She leaned against it, using it to keep herself held up, but the trembling in her legs soon became too much to handle and she slowly slid to the ground, bringing her knees to her chest.

The child whimpered softly, struggling to get out of his bag. He climbed into Iella’s lap, cooing at her to get her attention. She looked down at him and the sight of his wide, innocent eyes had something within her breaking even further.

The thought of him in danger because of her left her feeling sick. She didn’t know how she would survive if something happened to him.

“I’m sorry.” She choked out, wiping at her tears furiously. “I’m such a mess. I think I always will be. I don’t know how Din doesn’t see it, or isn’t scared of it. I am. I don’t know how he can keep going, keep having hope that everything’s gonna be ok, cause it’s not. It will never be ok. We’ll always be on the run because of me.” She rambled, letting out all her fears that she had never been courageous enough to speak aloud.

The child just whined in response and she looked down at him, huffing to herself slightly. He wasn’t exactly the one to be venting to. 

“Right.” She muttered dumbly. 

Taking a moment to collect herself and taking a few deep breaths, she got back to her feet, deciding to keep holding the child close as she walked back to the crest. 

Her mind was racing as they walked in silence. She had a decision to make, a hard one that she knew Din would throw a fit over.

She needed this to be over. If she couldn’t get her memories back, she could at least live in peace. She needed Voros dead. 

Her heart dropped to her stomach when she saw the ramp already lowered as she approached. Din was back. She thought she’d have more time to come up with a way to articulate her thoughts without completely throwing him off the deep end.

She didn’t know how to bring this up to him.

Stepping up the ramp, she could see him pacing anxiously before his helmet snapped in their direction at the sound of their footsteps and he was rushing towards them.

“All good?” 

“Yeah, everything’s fine.” She forced a smile, holding up the bag of food to show him.

“Have you been crying?” He asked, reaching up to hook her chin between his fingers as he stared down at her intently, the sight of her red rimmed eyes making his stomach twist uncomfortably.

She schooled her expression, not wanting to give away just how much of a colossal fuck up the trip had been or the extent of her freak out. 

“I… I was… it just can get a little… overwhelming being around a big crowd of people.” She explained slowly, forming the excuse as she was speaking.

Din sighed, his shoulders sagging. “I should’ve gone.” 

“No, no, I’m fine. It was nice to get some fresh air, do something productive.”

He eyed her for a few seconds longer and she stiffened under his gaze that was burning even with the helmet between them. If he stared any longer he’d surely pull the story out of her.

She sidestepped him abruptly, moving to put the food away. He turned to watch her, sensing the tension within her and hoping she would explain it, or he’d at least be able to tell with a little more inspection.

He could always read her so well.

“Are you sure you’re ok?” He asked again, taking a step closer to her and his fingertips grazed her elbow gently.

She swallowed thickly, his touch not helping her keep her cool. 

“I’m fine.” She spoke tensely.

She debated in her mind. Tell him what she was planning and have him freak out and shoot her down again, or stay quiet and suffer under Voros’ thumb even longer.

Neither option was desirable, but she would rather avoid another moment of scaring Din about putting herself in danger. 

So she stayed quiet. 

Din watched her for a few more moments. He knew something was up, but he wasn’t going to push. 

He moved to take the child in his arms, barely resisting a smile as he yawned and snuggled in closer. He bounced him gently as he walked around the hull mindlessly. 

It wasn’t long until his big eyes began to close. 

Iella watched them, barely containing her emotions as Din rocked the child to sleep. She gripped onto the counter tightly, her mind racing with a plan that had been lingering in her mind, one she hadn’t allowed herself to pay attention to.

Until now.

Her biggest fear was putting Din and the child in danger. 

Voros only wanted her, she didn’t have to get them involved. She wouldn’t. 

She’d take care of it on her own. 

She turned her attention back to Din, her heart fluttering as she watched him place the child in his crib. The gentle caress he gave to his ear almost made her melt. 

He turned back to face her and stopped in his tracks when he saw her looking at him, emotions swirling in her eyes. 

“El? You ok?”

“Can you take off your helmet?” She asked abruptly, surprising him thoroughly. He moved to close the child’s cradle, avoiding any potential mishaps, and without hesitation, lifted the helmet from his head.

Her breath got caught in her throat as she looked at him, those deep brown eyes rendering her speechless. 

She thought of her messy, half a plan and the guilt that had been lingering within her was now all she could think of. She knew she would hurt him. But his feelings getting hurt was better than him dead.

_ Don’t do it, don’t do it, don’t do it, don’t do it _

_ You have to. _

The dueling voices in her head screamed at her. She felt pulled in two directions and she didn’t know which to follow. 

“Iella? What is this ab-”

“I’m sorry.” She interrupted. “I’m sorry I’ve been so difficult since… I don’t know how to handle this. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”

“You… you don’t-'' He sputtered, taken aback by her honesty. She didn’t speak much about how this was for her, not having any memories of her life. “You don’t have to apologize to me for that. I can’t even begin to imagine what you’re going through, what it’s like to…” He stopped, she didn’t need him to recount it for her.

“Still, I shouldn’t treat you like that.” She said quietly. “And what I said about… not wanting to remember anymore, I didn’t mean-”

“You don’t have to explain yourself.” He told her sincerely. No matter how much it broke every part of himself to hear her say those words, he didn’t blame her. He wished he could pick and choose, bring back the memories of her life and their relationship and leave out every bloody and gory detail of everything else.

“I want to remember you.” 

The way his expression changed so rapidly made her suppress a small smile. The sadness and guilt changed to hope and the pure love she saw in his eyes as he looked at her was enough to have her heart racing.

She stepped closer to him, reaching up to snake her arms around his neck and he stiffened, his heart pounding in his chest as he stared down at her with wide eyes.

“El, what are you-”

“You’re the only constant in my life. You’re the only thing that makes me feel normal.” 

Din swallowed thickly, his eyes trained on hers, ignoring the twisting feeling happening in his stomach at her words.

She leaned up, pressing her lips to his softly and slowly. His eyes fell closed and he immediately moved his hands around her waist, holding her to him tightly. What started as a sweet, innocent kiss, suddenly turned fierce as she tilted her head and deepened her motions, startling him slightly, but he was unable to resist and he kissed her back just as passionately.

Iella suddenly pulled away, pulling her arms from his body and he suddenly worried that he’d done something wrong. 

He watched, his eyes growing wide as she unclipped the latch of her cloak and shrugged it off her shoulders, letting it fall to the floor. 

He knew exactly what she was insinuating with that one move and it made his throat suddenly go dry. 

“El, you don’t-”

“I want to.” She said, her voice hushed and low as she moved her arms over his shoulders again. “I want you.” 

He stared down at her in shock, his mind short circuiting, he didn’t say anything back. She crashed her lips to his again and they kissed fervently. 

His hands clenched, turning into fists as he grabbed at the back of her shirt, having to hold himself back from tearing it off her. 

He pulled away, his fears and misgivings about the situation not retreating.

“We don’t have to do this. It’s too much for you, too fast, we shouldn’t.” 

“It’s not too much for me.” She told him honestly. “I wanna be close to you. It’s the only place I feel safe.” 

Her words lit a fire within him and he wound his arm around her waist even tighter until there was no space in between them. He leaned down, connecting their lips again. 

“You tell me if you need to stop.” He mumbled against her lips.

She just moaned in response, her hands snaking up to tangle in his curls. 

She needed this. She needed him. If only for one last time.

She pushed him forward, making him walk backwards to their cramped bunk. He didn’t tear his lips from hers as he blindly slapped the wall, needing a few tries before he finally got the door to hiss closed behind them.

His mind was racing, the happiness he was feeling indescribable. He had dreamed of this for so long, long before he ever even knew she was alive. 

But to have her by his side and not be reuniting with her in  _ this  _ way was like torture. It drove him crazy to have her so close but not in the way they used to be.

They could barely keep their hands off each other when they were together. 

With her in his arms, kissing her like she did, it was like nothing was wrong, like she wasn’t not herself.

He shed himself of his armour, letting it fall carelessly, scattered across the floor. 

She was relieved to feel his body against hers, instead of the armour. She felt closer to him than ever before. Feeling his body heat sent her body alight and it only made her long for more.

Din’s hands found their way under the shirt she wore and he moaned against her lips as he found her smooth, bare skin.

“I missed you.” He breathed out against her lips in between kisses. “I missed you so fucking much.” 

Iella pulled away, moving to grab the hem of her shirt to take it off, but she paused when she saw his eyes glistening in the dim light. She reached up, cradling his cheek and she felt her own eyes beginning to sting with tears as she watched his fall closed as he leaned into her touch, like he was starved for it.

And he was.

“I’m right here.” She whispered and, no matter how untrue those words were, they were enough for him in that moment. 

He moved his hands that were on her back to her front and grabbed her shirt, gently tugging it upwards. She raised her arms, allowing him to shed her of the garment. 

Din’s eyes took in every inch of her, marvelling at her body, one he once thought he would never get the pleasure of seeing or holding or loving again. He let out a shaking breath, the sight almost bowing him over completely. He quickly tore his own shirt off, hoping it would lessen any hesitation he worried she was feeling.

But the way her eyes greedily dragged over his toned chest and stomach, he was assured she wasn’t having any doubts.

He leaned down, kissing her hard. Iella held onto him tightly, feeling her legs becoming weak as his tongue swiped against hers as they kissed passionately. They stumbled to the cot, unwilling to part from each other as they did. 

Iella lay on her back, pulling him down with her and she reveled in the soft groan she pulled from him as her nails raked over his scalp.

He pulled away breathlessly, looking down at her questioningly.

“Are you ok? You still wanna do this?” 

She nodded, touched by his concern, by his need to get her approval at every step of the way. He was the sweetest man she’d ever come across, she didn’t even need all her memories to know that.

Din was slow as he pulled the pants from her legs, his eyes desperately taking in every inch of her that was exposed to him. 

“I never forgot how beautiful you are. I would think about those eyes, those lips.” He told her as he hovered over her, his hand cradling her cheek as his thumb brushed over her plump bottom lip that was swollen from his greedy kisses.

“Or this body, this beautiful body I would dream about every night you weren’t by my side.” He murmured as he pressed soft kisses down the length of her neck and chest. 

Iella’s breathing hitched, her hips jolting forward slightly at the feeling of his scruff rubbing against her skin. It was more pleasurable than she ever would have guessed it would be. 

“You’re the only thing I thought about. All year, it was you, only you.” He spoke, almost frantically, like he felt he needed to reassure her that she was still the only one for him, even after their time apart.

He never moved on.

His lips trailed down her stomach causing her to squeeze her eyes shut, her lips parted with heavy breaths. It was already too much, it felt too good and she didn’t want anything else but him.

His lips continued their downward path and she knew where he was headed, what he wanted to do for her. But she couldn’t take it any longer.

“Stop.” She breathed out and he pulled away from her as if she had just burned him.

He stared down at her worriedly, reaching out, but stopping himself before he could, thinking he had done something wrong, gone too far and she wanted to end it.

“Are you ok? I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-”

“I need you.” She told him, her voice laced with lust.

He stared down at her blankly, needing a moment to take in her words. “You… you’re ok?”

She nodded and wrapped her legs around his waist, grinding her hips against his and she watched in awe as his eyes fluttered closed, his jaw clenching at the friction. His hands shot out, gripping onto her thighs tightly.

“I need you.” She said again and it was enough to convince him that she was ok.

He shucked his pants off as fast as he could, becoming clumsy in his eagerness as he almost stumbled right off the cot. Her giggle ran through the room and he looked down at her, unable to hold back his own smile at the sight of her bare beneath him.

“So you’re sure? You’re absolutely positive?” He asked her again.

“I’m sure.” She told him, holding back another giggle at how nervous he looked. 

She was surprised she wasn’t nervous. Being with him like this didn’t make her anxious or scared, it felt easy, familiar. It felt like this was what she was always supposed to be doing. She just wanted him close.

Din moved to hover over her again, leaning his forehead against hers as he breathed deeply, trying to calm himself. The last time he felt this giddy was his first time with her, he remembered how nervous and bumbling he’d been, scared that his inexperience wouldn’t be enough for her.

It almost felt like the first time again.

Iella shuddered as she felt his hard length against her thigh. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, her hands snaking in his hair again. 

“Din, please.” She moaned desperately. 

He squeezed his eyes shut, his chest already heaving. He looked down at her, their eyes meeting as he guided himself inside her slowly. 

Iella’s face twisted with pleasure as her head fell back onto the pillow underneath her. He watched her carefully, his body trembling from his slow pace.

“Are you ok?” He asked her, his voice already sounding breathless and wrecked. She nodded, her hands tightening on his messy strands and she leaned up, crashing her lips to his. 

Din huffed out a shaking breath as he bottomed out inside her, their hips nestled together. He moved slowly, pulling out and pushing back in as carefully as he could. 

He still had trepidation over how she was feeling, fearing she would suddenly feel like this was too much for her. 

But the small moans she let out with each movement of his hips were pushing away his insecurities more and more with each passing second. 

Soon, the only thing on his mind was her, the way she looked underneath him, the way she sounded, and how he had found his paradise he had missed for so long.

They made love slowly, their hands never moving from the others bodies. Din gripped her hips tightly, one hand moving, caressing up her waist and to her chest, unable to deny himself the pleasures of her skin.

Iella pulled his hair at a particularly deep thrust and Din moaned loudly, burying his face in the crook of her neck. The kisses he left there and his hips that moved steadily against hers had her panting. 

“Din,” She moaned, moving to hold onto his shoulders tightly, loving the way his muscles flexed beneath her hands. 

He echoed her moan, her name falling from his lips desperately. 

He started to move faster, the blinding pleasure he felt inside her fueling his motions. He couldn’t help himself, he never could when it came to her. To hear her say his name in this way felt too good to be true.

“Ner cyare, ner kar’ta.” He panted against her skin like a prayer. 

Iella’s jaw dropped at his faster pace, her body thrumming with pure bliss. She wrapped her legs around his waist and lifted her hips to roll against his.

The groan that escaped his lips was animalistic and the white lights that flashed in his eyes were blinding. 

_ She  _ was blinding.

He could feel the end nearing, too soon, but he was powerless to stop it. The way her walls contracted around him tightly left him weak. 

He needed to get her there.

He sat up on his haunches, his tight grip on her, pulling her up into his lap. Iella moaned loudly, her head falling back on her shoulders as she rode him rapidly, her nails digging into the skin on his shoulders.

He grunted at the feeling, loud panting breaths leaving him as he watched her with wide, awe filled eyes. 

“Din, please, please, don’t stop.” She pleaded. 

A muttered curse left his lips, the sound of her voice snapping his restraint and he gripped onto her hips tightly, helping her move on him as he thrust into her desperately from below. 

She squealed at the feeling and wrapped her arms around him tightly, her forehead falling to his shoulder as she continued to grind against him. He placed messy, rushed kisses to her shoulder, needing to feel every inch of her. 

Din could feel the tingling in his spine and he knew he couldn’t last much longer. 

“El, I can’t...fuck, I can’t…” He panted frantically. He moved his hand, thumbing her clit in rapid circles to get her there.

Iella shrieked, her hips stuttering and her nails dragged down the length of his back, making him groan loudly. His other hand slithered up her back and found its way to the back of her head, taking a fistfull of hair and pulling slightly to raise her head from his shoulder.

“I need to see you.” 

Their eyes met and it heightened everything they were feeling, it pushed them both to the edge.

“Din, yes, yes!” She yelled, her head falling back, but his hand kept her where she was so he could watch her. 

With a final scream of his name, her body shuddered, her face twisting in the most beautiful display of pleasure he had missed seeing. 

She continued to move her hips against his, feeling his thighs trembling against hers and knowing he was close. 

Din grunted, his hand tangling in her hair roughly, his thrusts becoming erratic and sloppy. She watched as his eyes widened and his face contorted into one of pure ecstasy. 

“El, fuck, I’m-” His voice cut off as he came, his hips canting upwards jerkily, loud grunts escaping his slacked jaw as he stared into her eyes like a man possessed.

She moaned at the feeling of his releasing inside of her, tightening her thighs around his. 

He panted heavily, moving to wrap his arms around her tightly, holding her close to him. He leaned up, pressing his lips to hers softly. 

“I love you. I love you so much.” He gasped against her lips. 

Iella trembled against him, both his words and the blinding pleasure she’d just experienced, sending a rush of emotions through her. 

She felt her eyes sting. The words were on the tip of her tongue, but something held her back. She didn’t know what it was, maybe the harsh reality of what was coming next, but she couldn’t get her mouth to move.

He laid her down gently, trying not to let her lack of response ruin what had just happened. He was relieved beyond words, blissed out beyond belief. 

He missed having her close and he forced himself to be content with this moment, accepting it for what it was because at least he had her in his arms.

It was more than he had a few months ago. 

Their chests were still rising and falling quickly, their highs still coursing through them, making both their bodies pliant and weak. 

He lay next to her, wrapping his arm around her and smiling when she tangled her legs with his. They lay nose to nose and he reached out, gently moving the sweaty strands of hair from her face.

Iella hummed at his touch, letting her eyes fall closed at the feeling.

“Are you ok?”

She snorted, placing a hand over her mouth to stifle her giggles at his question.

“Are you seriously asking me that?” She mumbled. She was sure her mind numbing orgasm would’ve been enough proof for him.

He laughed quietly, pressing a kiss to her forehead and pulling her in even closer to him. His eyes closed and he felt himself relax for the first time in over a year. 

“I’m better than I’ve been in a long time.” She whispered in the silent room.

“Me too.” He whispered back. 

~~~

Iella woke from a fitful sleep, knowing she only managed a few hours. She looked up at Din who was still snoring, kept in his deep sleep. She raised her head from his chest and carefully unwound her limbs from his.

It was now or never. She knew what she needed to do.

She eyed him intently as she slowly moved from under his arm that was around her and carefully laid it on the sheets where she once laid. Her eyes stayed on him, watching carefully as she crawled across him and out of bed, making sure she didn’t jostle him too much to rouse him from his sleep. 

Her heart was racing, her palms sweating with nerves. She was already regretting her decision and she wasn’t even out the door yet.

But she knew she had to do this. She couldn’t drag him into her fight. No matter how much he would insist on helping her, on being there for her, she wouldn’t put him in danger.

She wouldn’t recover if something happened to him.

She kneeled down, gently brushing her fingers through his messy curls. She watched him sleep peacefully for a few moments, her eyes taking in every one of his features, wanting to cement them into her brain.

If things went south and she ended up strapped to that machine again, she wanted to do everything possible to make sure his image stayed in her brain.

She leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. 

“I’m sorry.” She whispered to the stillness of the night, wiping a stray tear that fell. 

She crept out of the room, her body tensing as the door hissed open and she looked back at Din with wide eyes. She relaxed when she heard him continue to snore. She put her clothes back on and grabbed her weapons as quietly as she could. 

Slowly, she approached the cradle, opening the top and the sight of the child sleeping peacefully only sent another pang of agony through her. 

She caressed his large ear softly, smiling lightly at the sight of his cute face. She knew she would miss him more than she ever thought she would. That little womp rat had wormed his way into her heart so effortlessly.

A lot like Din had.

She looked back at the bunk where his still form lay and she pressed a hand over her mouth to quiet the sob that escaped her. 

She turned away, unable to fixate on him any longer. She would change her mind if she did. She quickly pressed the control panel, lowering the ramp. She winced, hoping it didn’t wake Din, though she couldn’t deny there was another part of her that desperately wanted him to wake and stop her.

But he didn’t.

Without another glance back, she fastened the cloak over her shoulders and stepped off the ship. 


	17. Chapter 17

Din was giddy as he woke that morning. The night before with his wife had only certified his love for her and he could barely wait to see if she was feeling the same type of blinding love that was taking over every part of his being.

The way she’d looked at him the night before had sent pleasurable chills over every inch of his body. He wanted nothing more than to see the same sight and experience the same mind blowing ecstasy he had just hours ago.

His tired eyes opened slowly as his hand searched the rumpled sheets beside him for the heat of her body. 

When he felt nothing, he raised himself on his elbow, fear striking him as his eyes opened fully, pushing past any exhaustion he felt as panic suddenly hit him like an incoming train. 

“El?” His raspy voice called out as he blindly patted the empty sheets next to him, still taken aback by the loneliness that met him rather than his wife that he had been so excited to see.

He sat up fully, his wide eyes searching the space around him, but the room was empty. His heart suddenly began to race wildly. He tried not to jump to conclusions, but after everything they had been through, it was hard not to fear the worst.

“El?” He called again, his voice sounding more frantic as he found it harder to disguise his growing panic.

He stood from the bunk, hastily pulling his clothes on. He grabbed his helmet, the only armour he bothered to put on, and raced out of the cramped room.

“Iella!?”

The silence that greeted him only made his fear grow. 

This was all too familiar of nightmares he’d had in the past. He reached down slowly, subtly pinching himself. The pain he felt was real. The nightmare was real.

He quickly made his way towards the cradle, a flash of relief flowing through him at the sight of it still in its place. He opened the top and let out a long sigh as he saw the baby staring back up at him. 

“You’re ok.” He breathed out, gathering the child into his arms. “Now where’s your mom?” He mumbled. He made his way up to the cockpit, dread soon crashing over him at the implication.

Had she wanted to sleep there instead? Had he been too forward the night before?

The thoughts were quickly shaken off. She was just as eager as he had been, she had been just as pleased as he had been.

He couldn’t think of what could have possibly changed. 

Despite how scared he was at the possibility of her needing space from him, enough to move to the cockpit, he didn’t find much relief to see that it was empty.

_ Where the hell is she? _

He practically jumped back down the ladder into the hull, turning on his heel in frantic circles, looking over every inch of his ship.

“Iella!?” He yelled desperately.

She was taken.

That was the first thought that echoed through his mind, the first explanation for her absence that broke his heart. His breathing became erratic as his mind raced for what to do. 

She had been acting weird the night before, since coming back from the market. He could only deduce that something had happened, something bad enough to spook her. Maybe someone from her past, her manipulated past, that was. 

They must have followed her back and taken her from him.

With a low growl escaping his throat and vengeance clouding his judgement, he stomped towards the weapons locker, practically throwing open the doors. It was a wonder they didn’t break off their hinges.

He moved to grab his blaster, but stopped abruptly. 

His breath caught in his throat when he saw the empty spots in the cabinet, spots where her weapons had been placed. 

They were gone. 

If she was taken, she wouldn’t have been able to grab her weapons, not without a struggle. And he would’ve heard a struggle. 

He looked around the hull again, this time with a more careful eye. Her boots were no longer in their place at the foot of their bunk where she’d hastily kicked them off the night before. Her cloak that she’d shrugged off her shoulders seductively was no longer on the floor where they’d left it.

She left on her own.

His entire body stiffened. His mind raced, trying to think of other possibilities because it was unfathomable to him that she would leave, that she would sneak out in the middle of the night and leave.

Leave  _ him _ .

He felt his eyes sting with tears and he blinked rapidly, not willing to let them fall or he worried they would never stop. 

It was one thing to believe she was gone from his side after a horrific accident, but to know she was no longer by his side of her own will somehow hurt even more.

_ She wouldn’t do that. She wouldn’t leave me, she wouldn’t leave the kid. _

He felt almost dizzy with how his brain was trying desperately to piece together what had happened, what he had done to make her leave.

He thought back to all the conversations they’d had, all the times she’d called herself a lost cause, all the times he’d had to reassure her that he was there for her. It hadn’t been enough. She’d reached her breaking point without him even realizing it and it had him wanting to smack himself for being so ignorant.

He hadn’t been enough for her and it practically tore him apart to think he’d been so blind to her plan of escape. 

The fact that she felt she needed to escape from him was enough to ruin every single part of his being. 

He breathed heavily, slowly falling to his knees on the hard floor of the ship, his helmeted head cradled in his hands as he fought hard not to spiral. 

“No, no, no, no.” He whispered to himself, his voice cracking with the emotion that overtook him so overwhelmingly.

Shaking breaths left him and he didn’t even realize his cheeks were wet until he heard the child whine, breaking him from his self-deprecating thoughts. 

He raised his head, his face creasing in confusion as he saw the child scurrying to the closed ramp, his little arm raising to point to it.

“What are you doing, Kid?” Din muttered impatiently, getting to his feet to catch him. As soon as he hauled the mischievous child in his arms, he whined louder, squirming in Din’s grip. 

He frantically pointed to the ramp, his distressed whines and watering eyes striking the Mandalorian deeply. 

“What is it?” Din whispered, suddenly realizing the child wasn’t just upset about Iella’s absence. He knew something.

Din began to pace the ship, frustration building as the child continued to babble worriedly. He wished he could understand the nonsense that left him. There had to be something he missed. This was his job, he looked for missing people all the time, there had to be clues as to where his wife went.

There was no way in hell he was letting this be the end.

His eyes roamed over the ship over and over again, hoping something would suddenly stand out to him, give him any indication about where she could have gone. 

He soon stopped in his tracks, his eyes locked onto the weapon’s locker, and his heart suddenly dropped.

_ How did I not notice,  _ he scolded himself.

His pulse rifle was missing. 

His stomach twisted with nerves at the realization, pure fear igniting within him like a lit flame.

She wasn’t leaving to escape him, she was leaving to fight. 

His entire body went rigid as he thought back to a conversation they’d had weeks ago, one where, at that time, she’d offered the most terrifying solution he could think of, one he refused to get behind.

_ I need to find him and I need to kill him. _

She wanted to go after Voros and he wouldn’t let her. His own desire to protect her, to keep her away from any more harm that man could cause her overruled her own need to heal from his wounds. He stopped her from getting that and he wanted to kick himself for it now.

She was going on a suicide mission all alone.

It moved him into gear quicker than anything else ever had. He grabbed his weapons hastily, placing his armour on with shaking hands, gritting his teeth with frustration as he found trouble fastening each buckle.

“Come on.” He spat to himself as he messily donned his armour. 

Once it was on properly, he fastened the child into the perch in the satchel that wrapped across his body. He strapped the weapons to his belt and barely a second later, he was lowering the ramp, marching off before it had even fully lowered.

He would find her if it was the last thing he ever did.

He couldn't be too late, he  _ would not  _ be too late.

~~~

Iella kept her head down as the villagers began to start their day, setting up their stands for the market and greeting their neighbours politely. The more crowded the streets became, the more her nerves rose.

Every time she turned a corner, she could see Din. She would squeeze her eyes shut, shake her head of her exhaustion until she realized it wasn’t him. It made tears brim in her eyes every time.

Every step further from the crest was a heavier weight to her chest. 

She moved through the streets quickly, dodging people expertly, ignoring the merchants that called out to entice her to their booths, winding through the crowds with minimal contact. She couldn’t let the opportunity slip through her fingers. She had to find those men who worked for Voros before they left the planet.

She had to find them before Din found her.

Her eyes drifted upwards towards the sun that was now high in the sky, her heart aching. Din was definitely awake by now. He was probably panicking, going crazy trying to find her. 

A loud sigh escaped her at the thought of him, of the night before.

The way he’d held her so tightly yet so gently, the way his lips felt on her skin, the way the scruff on his jaw left tingles on her neck that she could still feel only had her aching to turn right around and run right back into his arms.

It was becoming more tempting the longer she was away from him.

But she couldn’t stray, not when the prospect of killing Voros, of finally getting revenge on her torturer was so close.

She had to keep moving.

Her heart beat wildly in her chest, her pulse thrumming through her entire body nervously, as she approached the loading dock.

Her breath caught in her throat as she saw the familiar cargo ship Voros always had them use on missions.

She moved in the shadows skillfully and got into position, hauling the large rifle off her back. She breathed out slowly, a calmness washing over her as the familiar aspect of her new life fell into place.

Her finger hovered over the trigger as she awaited her targets.

~~~

Din was racing through the streets of the crowded village. He wasn’t polite as he pushed people out of his way, ignoring the swears and threats that were yelled back at him. He’d followed Iella’s tracks and he knew he wasn’t far behind, but her path was becoming more difficult to follow as more and more people trekked over her footprints.

Heavy pants left his lips, both of exertion and panic as he sprinted his way closer to his wife. The child suddenly let out a cry and he skidded to a stop, looking down in worry and bringing him in closer to his side protectively.

The child squirmed, his little arm reaching out towards an alleyway to their right. The distressed look on his little face was heartbreaking.

Din didn’t question it, he learned not to when it came to his strange powers, and frantically raced to where he was pointing.

He ducked behind buildings to block himself from the view of the few people he saw milling around the small loading dock next to him. He slowed his pace, his eyes frantically searching every doorway, every window, every alleyway, he passed.

He suddenly stopped in his tracks, his eyes going wide as he saw a cloaked figure kneeled on the ground, with a rifle,  _ his  _ pulse rifle, in their hands. 

It was her, it had to be.

An involuntary whimper escaped him at the sight of her and he raced forward, almost stumbling over his own feet in his haste to get to her. He moved swiftly, hauling his wife to her feet and placing a hand over her mouth to stifle the yelp of surprise she let out as he carried her away from the loading dock, away from any potential prying eyes.

She squirmed in his grip, kicking her legs out in defiance, making him wince at the pain in his shins as she struggled to get out of her supposed attacker’s grip. 

“It’s ok, it’s me. It’s just me.” He whispered frantically. 

She finally pushed him off, her eyes dark with hatred as she pulled the knife from her belt, his words not registering to her. She stopped abruptly, the weapon stalling in the air as she looked back at him. Her once rigid body slumped once she finally realized it was him.

Horror suddenly grew in her eyes as the consequences of her hasty decision stared her in the face.

“What are you doing here?”

Din scoffed and shook his head.

“You seriously think I was gonna let you go through with this suicide mission?” He argued back sternly, placing his hands on his hips. “I woke up and you were gone, what the hell did you think I was gonna do?”

“I didn’t want-”

“You thought I’d let you go after him by yourself? You thought I wouldn’t care that you were putting yourself in danger? Fucking hell, Iella, I know you don’t remember me, but after all this time we spent together, you really think that little of me? You think I’d let you do this?”

Iella’s face twisted, her frown growing the more he rambled. 

“I didn’t mean to hurt you.” She said softly. It was apparently the wrong thing to say by the way Din threw his hands in the air in exasperation as a harsh laugh of disbelief met her ears. He was pissed and there was nothing she could do.

“What the fuck were you trying to do then?!” He yelled at her. “You can’t just leave! I told you I would be there for you, I told you that no matter what, I’d help you with whatever was thrown at us, and you didn’t trust me, you didn’t believe me, I don’t know what it was, but it fucking hurts, El. You fucking hurt me.” 

Iella straightened her shoulders, schooling her features in a semblance of strength that seemed to be faltering with every word he spat in his harsh tone.

“You also told me I couldn’t go after Voros, that I couldn’t get revenge against the man who tortured me. I didn’t think I  _ could  _ come to you after that. What was I supposed to do?” She argued back.

Din flinched, like her words had physically struck him. 

“You know why I said those things. You know it’s dangerous, you know-”

“I know that I can’t live like this anymore.” She interrupted him. “I know I wouldn’t survive if you or the child got hurt because of me.”

“That’s not gonna-”

“You don’t know that!” She screamed and quickly lowered her head, forcing herself to take deep breaths in an effort to calm down and avoid making a scene. “Gideon’s gone. That means the only threats against us, the only reason we’re still looking over our shoulders is because of me, because of Voros.”

Din stayed quiet, knowing there wasn’t anything he could say against that. She was right and it killed him to acknowledge it. 

“I can’t let you two take the fall for me. I can’t let you get caught in the crossfire.”

Din sighed heavily, his eyes squeezing shut at her words. He remembered a time years ago, when they were still working with Ran and Xi’an, where she had, time and time again, stuck up for the innocent people that got caught in the line of fire.

They were practically the same words she used then.

It killed him to know she didn’t even remember that she’d said those words before, that she was acting exactly like the person he once knew, the person he missed more than anything in the galaxy. 

She had no idea just how much those words decimated him. They rendered him with no fight left.

His silence only kept her on edge, fearing he was still brimming with fury at her, so angry he couldn’t even get the words out.

“I’m sorry.” She whispered. “Last night… that was the perfect goodbye and I don’t regret a second of it. I just needed to… be close to you before I did this, in case…” She didn’t finish her sentence, she couldn’t, and Din was grateful for it.

He didn’t think he could stand to hear those words out loud. 

It was silent between them for a moment. It wasn’t long, but to them it seemed to stretch forever. Din let out a shaking breath, trying his best to ground himself, to not let his anger and panic over the situation he’d woken with dictate their conversation now.

Yelling wouldn’t do a thing and it was the last thing she needed now. 

“You know I can’t let you do this.” He said softly.

“I know. That’s why I left.” 

Din winced and shook his head.

“You’re not doing this without me.”

“Din-”

“No. I’m not letting you. If you need to after Voros now, fine. I won’t stop you. But you sure as hell aren’t doing it alone.”

Iella stared at him in shock. She hadn’t expected him to give in, to finally relent to her desire for revenge. 

“Din…”

“That’s all I ask, El, that’s it. I don’t care how dangerous it is, I don’t care about the risks, I’m going with you, that’s final.” He spoke sternly.

Iella paused, staring back at the imposing Mandalorian in front of her carefully, looking for any indication that he was lying, that he was actually trying to persuade her against her heinous plan. But she found none. 

He was all in.

“What were you planning?” He asked, sensing her hesitation. 

She swallowed thickly. “I saw two of Voros’ assassins yesterday. I remembered them, I used to work with them.” 

Din’s body stiffened as he realized that was the reason she had been acting so strange the night before. He thought he wanted to put together all the pieces, but now that they were falling into place, he realized he would rather not know. Ignorance was bliss and the reminder of her manipulated past was agonizing.

“Did they see you?” He finally choked out after a long, stifling silence.

“I don’t think so.”

“So now what?”

“I was gonna… take them out and steal their ship. Show up at the Imperial base and use the element of surprise to my advantage.” Iella explained, realizing once she had spoken it outloud just how risky her plan was.

Din sighed heavily, his head falling back onto his shoulders as he closed his eyes tightly. He could already feel the beginnings of a stress headache forming. 

“And you were really willing to do this alone?” 

“I thought I had to.” Iella shrugged. Din physically flinched at her words and she sighed, bowing her head. “I didn’t mean it like that.” She added quickly. 

“No, you’re right. I haven’t been supportive about this. I was selfish, I wanted you far away from that man. I wasn’t thinking about your feelings, only mine.” 

Iella was left agape at his admittance. She hadn’t seen it that way, she only saw it as him being protective of her, of him not wanting her in any more danger. 

“So we’ll do your plan, but not alone.” He said with determination. “We need more muscle.”

“What do you mean?”

“You have time to make a stop in Nevarro?” 

Iella’s face smoothed as he realized what he was suggesting,  _ who  _ he was suggesting as backup. 

“You sure we should ask her? I feel like we already owe her too much.”

“I’m sure Cara wouldn’t mind another fight.” Din explained simply and Iella found herself unable to argue with that statement. 

She knew the shocktrooper well enough to know better.

“You ready?” Din asked and Iella had to stifle a smile at how willing he was to go along with her plan. 

“Are you sure you wanna do this? I can’t force you to go along with this just because of me. I won’t let you put yourself-”

“El, if you’re doing this then so am I. There’s nothing more to say about it.” He argued. “So tell me what you need me to do.”

Her heart stuttered at his determination and allegiance to her. She knew he’d told her time and time again just how much he was willing to do for her, but to see it, to experience it, was another thing.

It left her breathless.

“I’ll wait for the guys to show up. You help if things get out of hand.” She explained, though she knew they wouldn’t. She could handle taking out two men, it would be the easiest thing she would do that day, but she wouldn’t tell him that.

She noticed the looks of agony he would have on his face any time she mentioned her training with Voros or her skills as an assassin. It was too much for him to handle.

And she knew she had put him through more than enough already.

“I’ll be right beside you.” He assured her and she couldn’t even describe the feeling that coursed through her at his words.

Silently, they moved back into the stealthy position he had first found her in. 

He let her keep her grip on the pulse rifle, knowing - no matter how much it hurt him - that she could handle it. Din pulled out his own blaster, pointing it at the same ship he saw her aim on. 

“I am sorry, you know.” Iella whispered after a long moment of silence. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I left because I  _ didn’t  _ want to hurt you. I didn’t want Voros to use you as a pawn against me. I would never forgive myself for that.”

“I get it. And I know why you did it.” He said softly.  _ But it doesn’t make it hurt any less,  _ he thought to himself. He knew waking up with her absence would haunt him for a long time. 

He hadn’t felt that kind of terror in a long time and it had shaken him.

Iella nodded slowly, though she could tell Din was still out of sorts, that he was still upset. She knew she would have to do a lot of grovelling soon. 

“He ain’t gonna be happy.” 

Iella tensed at the loud voice of the man that cockily stepped into the loading dock. Her eyes locked onto the two male figures that strolled into the space, their arrival ending the moment between the couple. 

She recognized them immediately and tightened her grip on the rifle, aiming it the taller of the men that approached their ship.

“No one else has any leads. Maybe he’ll take it easy on us.” The other man shrugged, causing his partner to scoff.

“When has Voros ever taken it easy on anyone? If we don’t come back with his bitch, it’s the end of us. You saw what he did to the team after Tatooine.”

Din’s breath hitched in his throat at their words. They were after his wife. They were following their tracks. Blind rage overtook him and he had to force himself to stay still and not take out the men that second.

“We’ll find her. She can’t be that smart, she ain’t got no brain left after what they did to her.”

Iella grit her teeth, taking a pause to inhale a deep breath and pulled the tigger swiftly, barely taking another second to blink as she aimed at the other man who was too stunned at the sudden assassination of his partner to move, and within a second he was also turned to dust. 

“Let’s go.” Iella said, her voice a strange and unsettling monotonous tone Din hated to hear. 

He blindly followed her into the hangar, his head turning every which way to make sure no bystanders were around to witness the brutal murder that just occurred.

“So, what’s next?” 

Iella didn’t answer, her gaze was locked onto the ship in front of them. Din followed her gaze, his brows furrowing at the sight of the unimposing cargo ship in front of them.

“El?” He prompted gently, finally breaking her from her thoughts and she turned to face him. He pretended to ignore the haunted look in her eyes. “What’s the plan?”

“We fly to Nevarro, get Cara and then… make our way to Voros.”

“You remember where the base is?”

She nodded slowly, her eyes averting from his. With a deep breath, she began to make her way towards the ship and Din’s eyes widened, fear striking him again, a feeling he was all too familiar with just from that morning.

He reached out, latching onto her hand.

She looked back and she didn’t even need to see his face to know how panicked he was.

“We need the ship to land near the base. They’ll blow the crest out of the sky if it gets too close. We need to be discreet.” She explained and he hated that it made sense, that he was being forced to stray from her side.

“I’ll follow you to Nevarro and then we take this ship to the base, ok?” She proposed, her eyes locked onto his rigid form until he finally slowly nodded in agreement.

“Ok.” He choked out, slowly and reluctantly letting her hand fall from his. “I’ll meet you there.”

Iella nodded, her face suddenly softening as she looked down at the child whose eyes hadn’t left her since the moment they’d found her.

“I’ll see you soon, little one.” She cooed to him softly, leaning down to squeeze his small cheeks lightly, a smile growing on her face as he let out an adorable squeal of delight. 

She looked up at Din, her face growing more serious, and with a final nod in assurance, she moved to make her way to the ship. 

Din’s hand suddenly shot out again, grabbing hers to stop her. 

She looked back at him in surprise, her face creasing with confusion. 

“Din…”

“You’re going to Nevarro first.” 

Her face fell, realizing just how much she had broken his trust. She nodded, squeezing his hand in hers. 

“I promise.” She told him honestly. She stepped towards him and leaned up on the tips of her toes, pressing a light kiss to the side of his helmet. “I’ll see you soon.”

He nodded and felt himself blush as he noticed hers that grew at the sound of his shuddering breath at her kiss. It didn’t matter if it had met his skin or not. Her closeness was enough to leave him breathless. 

“I’ll see you soon.” He repeated. 

They finally parted and she lowered the ramp of the ship, beginning to make her way up.

“El.” He called out to her and she turned around. “You can still-”

“I remember how to fly.” She told him with a smirk and his shoulders sagged, his helmet bowing slightly. 

“Right.” He muttered, realizing there was nothing else he could say to convince her to come with him on the crest. She had a solid plan and he couldn’t refuse it, no matter how much he wanted to be selfish and drag her along with him.

Iella smiled lightly, making his inside twist pleasurably, and she continued to make her way onto the ship. Din stayed in his spot, his eyes locked onto her as long as he could. He didn’t begin to make his way back to the crest until the ramp was closed.

~~~

The trip to Nevarro was short, a relief to both of them. 

Iella was sure he’d been speeding the entire way there because he was outside the ship, arms crossed, his foot tapping impatiently as he watched her land beside the crest. And she was the one who’d gotten the head start.

She smiled and shook her head to herself. She couldn’t deny the butterflies that erupted at his inability to hide his protectiveness around her.

He was waiting by the ship the second the ramp had lowered and his hand on the small of her back as they made their way through the streets of Nevarro never strayed. 

The trek had been agonizing. After what he’d endured that morning, he didn’t want her barely five feet from him. He was taking every opportunity he could get now to be close to her. 

They stopped as they got to a catina that was bustling with people and Din shrugged at Iella’s questioning gaze. It was their best guess as to where they would find the shocktrooper.

As soon as they stepped into the place, Din’s arm snaked around her waist, his hand now at her hip as he held her to his side, unwilling to let her stray too far in the seedy joint. 

It wasn’t hard to spot the ex-Rebellion soldier. She posed an intimidating figure and it was easy to spot the break in the crowd where she sat, warding off any stragglers from getting too close with a harsh gaze. But she perked up, her feet dropping from the table they were perched on as she saw her favourite couple approaching.

“Well, what do I owe the pleasure to the mister and missus?” She teased. “You wanna drink?”

“No, we’re here for business.” Din said quickly, stopping her from flogging down the bartender. Cara’s smile fell slowly and she straightened in her seat, her eyes flickering back and forth to each of them worriedly, sensing the tension between them.

“What’s going on?”

“We’re going after Voros and we wanted your help.” Iella spoke abruptly. Cara’s mouth dropped open and she stared back at her friend in shock at her words. “I know this is a lot to ask and it’s not much warning, but-”

“I’m in.” Cara interrupted and this time, it was Iella’s turn to stare at her in shock.

“W-what- are you sure?” 

“A chance to take down another Imperial bastard? Hell yeah, I’m in.” 

Din and Iella looked at each other, as if not believing that it had been as easy as it was to recruit their new member. 

“You know this is gonna be dangerous.” Din explained slowly and Cara laughed with a shake of her head.

“When it is not?” She got up from her seat, a look of excitement on her face as she straightened her shoulders. “I’m ready. Let’s go.”

~~

The stolen cargo ship was in hyperspace as they all sat in the cockpit in silence, watching the colours blur past them mindlessly. 

The silence was stifling. 

Cara looked back and forth between the couple, wondering what it was that had them so on edge. Sure, going after the evil man that had held Iella hostage for a year would cause tension, but there was something more. 

They barely even looked at each other and the shocktrooper found it extremely troubling.

“So are we going in guns blazing or are we going for the more stealthy route?” She asked, finally breaking the silence.

“We could use deception. Iella, you could pretend you brought me and Cara in as prisoners.” Din offered and Cara winced.

“Yeah, cause that worked out so well for us last time.” She mused sarcastically, thinking back to the shit show that happened on Nevarro. 

“They knew I was on Tatooine. They’re tracking me so we have to assume they know I’m with you. They’ll know I would never betray you.” Iella spoke up timidly and Din tried his hardest to keep his body from reacting to her words. 

Everytime her manipulated self with no memory of him spoke of how much she cared for him left him in a tizzy.

“So… guns blazing, then?” Cara asked.

“I think that’s our only option. They won’t be expecting us so at least we’ll have the element of surprise.” 

“Sounds good.” Cara smiled to her and made her way out of the cockpit, leaving the couple alone, left in a silence that was yet again becoming filled with tension.

Iella’s head lowered, avoiding Din’s gaze that she knew was on her. She still felt horrible about that morning and she didn’t know how to address it, or whether or not he was still mad at her. She didn’t know how to approach him.

They could hear Cara in the hull, scanning over her choice of weapons and occasionally scolding the child who got too close to the blasters for comfort.

“Are you sure this is what you want?” Din asked, suddenly breaking the tense silence between them.

“Yes.” She spoke softly, her voice barely above a whisper. “I can’t keep going on like this, wondering when he’ll take me from you. I have to make a move before he does.”

Din nodded. He knew they needed to do this. Hearing those men talk about how violent Voros was in his quest to get Iella back lit an already flaming fire inside him until it was unbearable. 

The rage inside him would not be sated until the man was dead. And he knew his panicked wife would not rest until the man that caused her so much harm was dead and he would be damned if he didn’t help give that to her.

“You know this is gonna be dicey. We have half a plan, we don’t know for sure how many of those assholes are gonna be on that base.”

“I know.” 

“And we don’t even know if Voros is gonna be there.”

“Din, you’re not gonna change my mind.” 

“I know… I know.” He whispered, sounding almost regretful, like he wished more than anything that he could, that he could stop her from doing this. But he couldn’t and he knew that. 

He reached out blindly, his hand finding hers, intertwining their fingers together as he held on tightly. Iella let out a shaking breath and looked down at their hands. She held onto him tightly, feeling more grounded by his touch than ever before.

She knew the danger coming but the only thing that kept her heart from imploding with nerves, the only thing that kept her from spiralling - as always - was him. 

She needed to go through with this, not only for herself, but for him, for the child. 

All too soon, the navigator beeped, signalling their arrival. Din tensed, dropping them out of hyperspace with a shaking hand. He didn’t want to admit just how terrified he was, how much he was dreading what was happening next.

As a Mandalorian, he wasn’t one to ever back away from a fight, but this one, this was one he had been willing to avoid for the rest of his life.

“You ready?” Iella asked as they descended into the atmosphere. Din nodded and he looked over his shoulder, his eyes finding hers intently.

“Are you?”

Iella hesitated before answering, her eyes looking out the window and her heart suddenly seized as she saw the large building in front of them, the building that housed all of her trauma and deepest fears.

Just the mere sight of it was enough to make her regret every step that brought her there. 

“Yeah, I’m ready.” She breathed out after a silence that was too long for her words to convince him. 

_ “Team 16 prepare to land.”  _ The voice over the comms spoke, causing the both of them to stiffen in their spots. 

It was a relief that the first phase of their plan had been a success, but they were far from the clear. What was coming next that would determine the rest of their lives.

Din landed the ship in front of the base and he breathed a long and shaking breath before turning to face her.

“We can turn back now, no questions asked.” 

Iella smiled a weak and sad smile, squeezing his hand in hers. 

“You know we can’t.” 

“I know, just ...wishful thinking.” He muttered with a shrug and she could tell by the tone of his voice how scared he was for what came next.

Iella leaned forward, her arm winding around the back of his neck. “We’ll be ok.”

“I know we will.” 

_ We have to be,  _ he thought to himself. There was no other way he would survive if they weren’t, if  _ she  _ wasn’t ok at the end of the day. He could not go through that again, he couldn’t lose her again or he would surely lose himself this time around.

Once was already too much for him to handle.

He leaned forward, letting his armour covered forehead rest against hers. 

Iella let her eyes fall closed, reveling in his closeness, in his body against hers, his warmth against her cold and scared body. It was all she needed.

“I really am sorry for this morning. I should never have just left like that. I didn’t mean to hurt you and I’m so sorry I did.” She spoke, her voice becoming more frantic with each word as she began to ramble. Din shook his head, a pang in his chest as he saw her watering eyes.

“Don’t, don’t. It’s ok, I know why you did it.” He whispered. He was still feeling slightly traumatized by what he’d been through that morning, but after hearing her explain, he couldn’t exactly fault her. 

He understood why she did what she did and he just hoped to the maker he would never have to wake up without her again.

Loud, rushing footsteps came their way and Cara breezed into the room with the child in her arms, her chest heaving. She straightened when she saw the couple locked in each other’s embrace and she subtly averted her gaze.

“Sorry,” She muttered. “But we got company coming.”

“How many?” Din asked sternly, standing from his seat with his fists clenched tightly.

“Just one.” 

Iella let out a long breath, slowly getting to her feet. There was no turning back now, she had no choice but to get her head into the game, to prepare for bloodshed. 

“Let’s go.” She mumbled and pushed past Din and Cara to make her way out of the cockpit. She pulled the deadly knife off her belt and pressed her back against the wall next to the ramp, motioning for Din and Cara to hide.

Cara acted immediately, grabbing onto the stubborn Mandalorian that immediately moved to be next to his wife, but she pulled him back to hide with her. 

He grit his teeth, his heart hammering within his chest as the mechanics of the ship began to whir as the ramp slowly lowered.

“Hey, Reyon, you find that purple haired bitch or-” The man that cockily strolled into the ship stopped abruptly, his eyes growing wide with fear as he spotted her. 

The deadly look in her eyes sent a chill down his spine and before he could even begin to beg for his life, her knife swiped outwards, slicing his throat easily. She moved past her unease quickly, not allowing herself to feel any remorse for the life she had just taken.

He deserved it, she knew he did. That was all she had to remember. 

Cara and Din stepped out from the shadows, both their gazes locked onto the man that had fallen lip to the floor of the ship, the puddle of blood around him growing larger each second. Din swallowed thickly, forcing himself to look away from the sight.

The terror that had coursed through him at the sight of his wife killing than man, the sight that was all too familiar to the one he’d seen when he’d first found her again, discovering her new identity, was enough to shake him.

But he wouldn’t let it.

“Let’s move.” Cara spoke up, knowing she needed to be the one to break the ice from the tension that was building as they stared at the body on the floor. 

Iella nodded stiffly, grabbing the blaster the shocktrooper held out to her, along with strapping the many knives she had to her belt. 

Din peered into the cockpit, making sure the child was safe in his cradle where he would remain during the mission, away from any danger. He closed the doors to the cockpit, sealing him in.

“Kill anyone you come across. These people can’t be spared.” Iella told them and the cold, emotionless tone in her voice made both Din and Cara wince. They shared a quick look of concern before shaking themselves of their reservations and followed her out the ship.

They moved swiftly, like a team that had been working together for years, able to communicate without words. They sprinted towards the base, Din and Cara quickly taking out the two guards that were stationed at the door. 

Iella threw a knife from her belt at a passing man making his way towards his ship. They couldn’t let anyone go. It didn’t matter what their job was, she knew they were all guilty.

They slowed their pace as they got to the door and Din let out a muttered curse as they found a keypad at the door, an encrypted code keeping them from entering. 

“Now what?”

Iella stepped forward, a look of derision in her eyes that was all too familiar to Din, one he hated to see. With a trembling hand, she slowly typed in the code that lingered in her mind. She clenched her jaw as the door breezed open, feelling both relieved and disheartened as she realized the code had worked.

Her knowledge from Voros had worked and it left her stomach turning.

_ Just keep moving, you’ll get yours soon enough,  _ she reminded herself. 

Din sighed heavily, hating the feeling of dread that encompassed him as she opened the door. He knew it was probably for the better that she had remembered the code, that it made their life and their mission easier, but the implications of Voros’ impact on her still lingering in her mind was a decimating blow to both of them. 

He felt a nudge to his side and he looked up at Cara who was looking back at him impatiently. She motioned towards Iella with wide eyes, silently telling him now wasn’t the time to dwell on that detail. They had much bigger things to worry about.

The trio moved efficiently, their weapons firing into each room they passed, leaving no witnesses or whistleblowers in their wake. Their presence was still unknown. They paused as they came to the end of a hallway and a number of paths stood ahead of them.

“Which way?”

Iella barely heard the question, there was a faint ringing in her ears as her anxiety began to rise the longer she was in the building. Her memory of the base came back full force.

The sight of the familiar long hallways, the dark, desolate rooms, the people they took out, they were all reminders of her time here, a reminder of each and every horrible, torturous thing that had been inflicted upon her.

“El?” Din called out, his voice sounding as if he were underwater, barely breaking through to her wounded mind. “Hey,” He stood in front of her, his hand reaching out to hold hers tightly. “You with me?”

She looked up at him, shaking herself from the unbridled trauma that was coursing through her veins and she nodded.

“Go left. His office isn’t far.” She finally spoke. 

Din looked at her for a moment longer, trying to gauge whether or not she was truly able to go further, to push past the bubbling emotions she was feeling to keep a clear head. He wasn’t able to tell before she had pushed past him and began walking down the long hallway.

He sighed heavily and quickly moved to follow her, not willing to let themselves be even a few feet apart.

They weren’t walking long when they suddenly heard the sound of many footsteps from around the corner, signalling a bigger group coming their way than they were equipped to deal with without blowing their cover.

“Come on!” Cara hissed and pushed the couple into the nearest room, closing the door behind them. 

Iella felt her entire body stiffen, her eyes going wide with horror. She knew this room. 

She turned on her heel and could feel her legs tremble, barely able to keep herself standing as she looked at the enormous and imposing machine that stood in the middle of the room. 

She walked towards it slowly, her chest heaving at the mere sight of it, of the memories it forced into her mind, all of her screaming and writhing in agony.

Sensing her move from his side, Din turned on his heel, immediately stepping forward to follow her. 

“Hey, what-” He stopped abruptly, his gaze moving to what she was looking at with such stricken eyes. His mouth parted, but no words escaped him. 

He stayed rooted to his spot, his eyes travelling over every inch of the large, deadly looking machine.

“Holy shit.” Cara muttered, her eyes going wide at the sight of it. “What is this thing?”

“This is what… changed me.” Iella explained with a weak voice. Even with her vague words, Din was able to put the pieces together and he felt his chest tighten as dread settled within him. 

She had mentioned moments of her strapped to a machine, the one that had taken her memories away and for a long time, Din only had his imagination to supply the thoughts that came with her explanation.

But now that he saw it for himself, he saw just what had caused her so much pain and trauma, it was like a knife to the chest. 

He wanted to tear the machine apart with his bare hands. His entire body stiffened, his hands clenching into fists and Iella reached out immediately, taking his hand in hers to stop him from what she knew he wanted to do.

Cara, who had moved to press her ear to the door, turned towards the couple again, a regretful expression on her face as she knew what they were going through. She knew, despite whatever happened after today, that they’d be needing a lot of healing.

“Group’s passed, but it sounds like there’s more coming. We should hide out here for a few more minutes until they pass.” She whispered to them. 

In the span of a second, Iella’s expression changed, the look of horror in her eyes turning deadly as the sick feeling inside her twisted into pure rage. She moved past Din who scrambled to grab onto her arm to stop her, but she pushed him away, striding towards the door purposefully.

Cara face twisted with disbelief, she’d never seen the quiet woman she knew look so determined before and she was left to stumble aside in shock as Iella pushed past her and swung the door open.

She stepped out into the hallway, ignoring the hushed and frantic whispers of Din behind her that begged her to get back in the room. The soldiers that were passing the room turned on their heels at the sound of the door opening behind them and they all faltered, their weapons falling from their raised positions slightly at the sight of her.

The famed assassin was back and they all took a moment to stare at their boss’ biggest project in shock. 

Before any of the soldiers could reign in their surprise, Iella was already moving, pulling knives from her belt and tossing them with a deadly accuracy. 

It wasn’t until three of the soldiers in front of the crowd fell to the ground with knives in their throats that the rest finally moved into action, pointing their weapons at her.

Iella let out a yelp as she was thrown to the side, Din’s arms wrapped around her tightly, spinning them around so his armoured back took the brunt of the shots that fired at them. Her chest heaved with deep breaths, finally brought out of her shocked state to realize just what she had done, realizing the danger they were now in because of her and her recklessness.

Din spun on his heel, firing his blaster at the crowd rapidly, keeping his body in front of hers to protect her from the shots that came their way. He and Cara fired at the dwindling crowd of shoulders and he noticed an occasional knife thrown over his shoulder, Iella taking down soldier after soldier from behind him.

The chaos from the fight alerted the others on the base, having heard the sounds of blaster fire and screams of pain, and soon, more soldiers were racing towards them. 

Iella looked behind her, seeing more coming their way. She reached for her weapons, a knife held in each of her hands as she ran forward. She barely heard Din yell for her as she jumped on the back of the first man coming towards her, plunging her knife into his neck.

He had barely fallen to the ground before she was moving to the next man, slicing wildly as she moved swiftly through the crowd. Soldiers fell at her hand, wounds dropping them in the neck, stomach and thighs as she passed them like an invisible assassin.

The fight was deadly and she could feel the beginnings of a red film overtaking her eyes, that numbness that came with her deadly kills washing over her as her anger took over every one of her instincts.

She mowed through the crowd easily, barely acknowledging her growing tiredness. She didn’t feel it. The only thing she felt was vengeance coursing through her veins like blood.

Iella grunted as arms suddenly wrapped around her, pinning her arms to her sides. 

“We’ve been waiting for you.” The man who held her crooned in her ear, making her cringe and try to squirm away from him, but to no avail. 

Din, who was still firing off rapid shots and punching and kicking any soldier who got too close, turned on his heel, checking on Iella yet again and his stomach dropped, rage overtaking him as he saw her trapped in the grip of a man twice her size.

The man moved to place his knife against her throat and before the blade could even touch her skin, Din was on him like a wild animal, forcing him away from Iella and throwing him to the floor. Din plunged his own blade into the man’s chest, not even watching the satisfied view of him sputtering on his own blood as the life drained from him.

He moved to check on Iella, but she was no longer by his side. He stood straight, his head on a swivel as he searched for her through the chaos. 

He perked up, fear growing yet again as he saw her racing forward. 

The only thing on her mind was Voros, of finally ending him. The need for revenge clouded her judgement so thoroughly, she didn’t even wait for Din or Cara to follow as backup.

“Iella!” Din screamed for her and sprinted towards her, but she didn’t stop. 

She kicked open the door at the end of the hallway, storming inside and firing off shots as she did. 

Din was only steps away from the door when it suddenly slammed shut in his face and he crashed into it, shaking the handle frantically. It didn’t open and he could feel himself beginning to lose his cool.

“El?! Iella?!” He yelled frantically from the other side of the door.

Inside the room, Iella startled at the sound of the door slamming closed and she turned, glaring at the guards who had closed and locked it behind her, who kept Din from her. 

She could hear him pounding on the door, screaming for her, the terror in his voice making her heart flip with agony. He sounded so scared and it made her want to scream. 

She’d heard that tone from him all too often and she hated it.

“Hello, Darling.”

Her body tensed and she turned slowly, her chest rising and falling with panicked breaths as her eyes met the man she hated more than anything in the galaxy.

Voros smiled widely at her, the amusement in his eyes clear, like he was delighted by her presence. 

“I knew you’d come back to me.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can only apologize...  
> Hope you guys are liking the drama cause there's a lot more to come xx


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